Disclaimer: I don't own them, but, if I had the money, I would! Oh, boy! Then they would be mine! Mine! All mine! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Warning: Yaoi. Men having sex with men. Violence. Language. Bombs. Gun play. Angst. Poor Trowa! Poor Wuffie! Poor Quatre! Poor Duo! I left someone out... oh, yeah! Poor Heero!
Duo: *scowls* Are you going to be mean again?
Kracken: Just for a little while and then there will be a really big lemony lemon!
Duo: Oh, goody! 1x2? 2x1? 2x5? Oh, God! Not 2x3? Ack! Quatre will kill me!
Kracken: You'll just have to see for yourself.
Duo: *scowls again* You ARE a Meanie.
"Your information is incorrect," Heero said, his tone as cold as space.
Wu Fei was seated on the edge of Duo's bed, staring across a bubbling fish bowl at Heero. "Duo screamed in his sleep, every night, yet you are saying that you were helping him?"
Heero was standing, hands clenched tight, face intense and dangerous as he glared back at Wu Fei from under his wild bangs. "Yes."
Wu Fei wasn't relaxed on the bed. Every muscle was primed and ready for action. He wasn't certain what Heero intended. Finding his lover in Wu Fei's arms would have driven any other man insane with rage. Yet, Heero wasn't any other man. He had been a trained soldier and an assassin all of his young life. That he could even know how to love and be compassionate, was something Wu Fei was finding it very hard to believe.
Wu Fei's return volley was equally short. "Explain."
"Duo thinks that he is trash," Heero explained. "He doesn't think that he deserves my... deserves emotional attachments." Wu Fei raised an eyebrow as Heero picked through words as if he were embarrassed for anyone to know that he had breached his training and fallen in love. "He feels threatened by me because I want- because I offer those attachments as well as sexual gratification. His nightmares stem from his conflict with himself. He tries to flee into the past, as if that's safe, familiar ground, but it isn't. I was allowing him to realize that, to understand how far he's come from L2, and that he can leave it behind and accept what I'm offering him."
"Which is?" Wu Fei pressed, unrelenting.
"Commitment," Heero replied without a flinch.
Wu Fei felt a tightening in his stomach. He didn't know what it was. Jealousy? He scoffed. Anger? Yes, he had enough of that. Distrust? That more than anything else. He didn't trust Heero Yuy.
"I couldn't listen to his screaming any longer," Wu Fei told Heero, seething. "I had to come in here and try and calm him. I thought that I could remind him of the relaxation techniques I had taught him. I wasn't prepared when he pulled me onto the bed and into his arms." Wu Fei glared at Heero and Heero glared back. "He calmed at once. I seemed able to shake him out of his dreams. Damn it, Yuy, it should have been you in that bed! Do you have to handle everything so coldly and logically? He just needed a human anchor! It could have been anyone, not just me!"
"He will not allow it," Heero replied and Wu Fei saw a flicker of what Heero was really feeling. It was powerful; heartbreaking. The man settled his iron mask again so quickly that Wu Fei doubted seeing it. "He fights me. He fears me." Heero pulled up his tank top and showed Wu Fei his wash board stomach. There was a neat line of stitches there. "He did this the last time I attempted to calm him from a nightmare."
Wu Fei didn't understand. Why him and not Heero, the young man Duo was closest to? "Heero," Wu Fei said, stressing his words "Duo and I are not even friends. We are comrades in arms, nothing more. My attempts to help him are only out of concern for him as a soldier; a soldier I have to rely on." When Heero stared at him in disbelief, Wu Fei decided to be more blunt. "Nataku is the only one in my life, now or ever, Heero Yuy. Together, we deliver justice. I have dedicated my life to that. I would not dishonor myself by forgetting it."
"That doesn't change how Duo might feel about you," Heero replied. "If he does care for you... more than for me... If you can bring him peace and the life he craves, I will step aside."
Wu Fei stood and bowed low. "You honor me," he said and he meant it. The man was clearly ready to sacrifice for Duo. "I doubted the sincerity of your friendship with Maxwell. It seems that you are capable of a greater share of humanity than I gave you credit for. You are mistaken about my intentions towards Maxwell, though, I don't wish any sort of relationship with him. If he does secretly care for me, I will have to hurt him when I reject him."
"We will discuss the situation with Duo when he returns," Heero replied as Wu Fei straightened.
"Agreed. I want to know his mind as much as you do."
Wu Fei began moving around the fish bowl. It had caught his eyes last night, but Duo had been of more importance. Now he stared at the beautiful thing, fascinated. "Two koi, gold and white. Rose petals swirling like snow in the water, yellow and white. It is harmony."
Wu Fei looked up and saw a glitter in Heero's eyes before he stalked out of the room. "It was meant to be," the young man said over his shoulder.
"Good thing we're used to this sort of treatment, right Trowa?"
Trowa grunted in reply as he lowered himself to a sitting position on the floor against one wall. He rested his manacled wrists against his knees and looked dejectedly at nothing.
Duo remained standing, hunched over his many bruises, his one arm numb and hanging uselessly at his side. His face was livid with bruises and blood seeped from a split bottom lip. He wiped it away and winced as he surveyed the small, gray cell they had been placed in.
"You shouldn't have tried to save me," Trowa finally said.
"Sorry, Trow-man!" Duo chuckled, "I don't leave my buddies to die when I think I can save them. It was only one guy. The day Shinigami can't take care of one lone Oz soldier... who knew that Oz guard had friends so close by?"
"I deserved to die," Trowa replied softly. "I should have been more careful. I should have seen him."
Duo shrugged and then winced at the pain that caused him. "How could you know that an Oz soldier would be taking a whizz in a shuttle tunnel right where we had to be? I didn't know. Does that make me guilty too?"
"They will torture us," Trowa said with clenched hands. He looked up at Duo, studying his face. "They may..."
Duo grinned, but his eyes were a little wild and his grin was pasted on. "Naw! They've got women here. I saw them! Contrary to popular belief, Trowa, most Oz soldiers would rather avoid Gundam boy ass. Besides, nobody gave me any 'looks'. I know it when I see it, believe me."
"Still, they will try and force us to reveal why we are here," Trowa replied. "If you become unstable..."
Duo tensed and then he revealed to Trowa a part of himself. It was painful. Embarrassing, but Duo was afraid for his skin. It wouldn't take much effort for Trowa's strong hands to snap his neck as soon as he fell asleep or gave the man the slightest opportunity. "Trowa, when I flip out, I revert to a six year old. That six year old doesn't know shit about missions or Gundams."
Trowa narrowed his eyes and then he looked away, uncomfortable. "Understood," he said softly.
"When I am in my right mind," Duo continued. "I am a Gundam pilot. I won't talk, no matter what they do. I've been tested before, Trowa, and I've passed the test. That's why Heero let me go on this mission."
"I trust his judgment."
"You should," Duo told him matter- of -factly. "He'd kill me to finish a mission and I'd let him. Don't ever forget that." Duo hobbled to the wall and leaned against it. He surveyed the small cell minutely. "I don't see any monitoring devices, do you?"
"Doesn't mean they aren't there," Trowa replied.
"Have to take the chance anyway," Duo said. "The best time to escape is when they are all still patting themselves on the back for having captured us."
Trowa snorted skeptically. "What do you suggest? We are unarmed. We are in a cell."
"Don't think negatively, Trow-man!" Duo grinned. "Just be ready, K?"
"Is your arm broken?" Trowa asked.
"Sprained and numb," Duo replied. "I have bruised ribs and a swollen knee. I also have a headache. Don't worry. None of that is going to slow me down. If everything goes right, I won't have to fight."
"It was foolish to insult the soldiers after they captured us," Trowa remarked sourly. "You would be in better shape to escape if you had just stayed silent as I did and complied with their orders."
Duo snorted, "Do you really think they wouldn't have hit me if I had played nice?"
"They didn't strike me," Trowa replied.
"You didn't just kill one of their buddies."
"True."
There was a long silence. Duo didn't like silences. They let him think too much. He moved away from Trowa to be closer to the door.
"Why did you leave early for the mission?" Trowa suddenly asked.
"Both Heero and Wu Fei wanted to do me and they were going to fight about it," Duo explained caustically. "I didn't want to be torn like a bone between two dogs, so I left."
Trowa frowned and pulled his knees in close to his body. He didn't like explicit talk like that.
"When I get back, I'm going to dump both of them," Duo went on, more to himself than to Trowa, trying to convince himself that it's what he wanted, that it wouldn't hurt. "Shinigami doesn't need a boyfriend. He just needs his Gundam and Oz soldiers to cut in half. I-," he swallowed hard and looked away, one hand rubbing his numb arm. "I did better when I was alone, when I didn't have someone coming close and tripping my mental land mines."
"Lonely life," Trowa murmured.
Duo glared and then he grinned. "Yeah, but I've been alone most of my life. I'm used to it."
"So was I," Trowa replied. "I wouldn't go back to that, ever."
"Sometimes, you don't have a choice," Duo bristled.
"Isn't it a choice you're making?" Trowa wondered.
Duo glared at the pilot of Heavyarms and then shrugged as he half turned away with a wince of pain. "You don't even know what happened."
Trowa didn't reply. Duo was sure he didn't care. Duo didn't mind that. He wished that he didn't care either.
The door opened and a man entered. Duo sprang forward and shoved his elbow into the soldier's windpipe before he could react. Trowa scrambled to his feet as the man fell face first onto the floor, body jerking and thrashing for the air his crushed throat wouldn't give him.
Duo stepped over the soldier, injured arm held close to his body. He looked back at Trowa and grinned. "Come on! Get his gun and pull on his clothes. We have a mission to finish."
Trowa was still skeptical, but he didn't hesitate as he struggled to undress the now dead soldier. Throwing off his own clothes, he donned his disguise.
"A little big," Duo commented critically and then grinned wider. "Okay, Trow-man. You're the big, bad Oz prison guard and I'm your handsome prisoner. We have x amount of time before the people, waiting for that poor guy on the floor to bring us to them, realizes that he isn't going to show up."
"Obviously," Trowa bit out irritably as he pointed the gun at Duo. "But what is our objective now?"
"The bombs are all set," Duo replied cheerily. "We just finish the mission. Isn't that obvious too?"
Trowa looked ready to pull the trigger on Duo. "They took everything that we had," he said, narrowing his eyes at Duo and trying to fathom his sudden lapse of memory.
Duo grinned proudly. "Not everything!" Duo reached into the back of his hair and pulled out a very slim detonator and a small ball of tacky explosive.
Trowa's eyes widened in shock and he shifted his grip on the gun as if his hand was suddenly shaking. "You- you could have blown off your head!"
"Wouldn't have felt a thing!" Duo chuckled edgily. "Anything for the mission, Trowa. Now, let's get out of here."
Trowa nodded, a new look of respect for Duo on his face. Duo was used to that. He knew that they all thought of him as a demented baka, well, everyone except for Heero. That made him think of the intense pilot of Wing, the only person who really understood him.
The pain welled up inside of Duo and it was hard to push it back down. Why? Why had he trusted Wu Fei and not Heero? Duo's world had turned upside down and he was certain that he didn't like the view. He didn't love Wu Fei. He didn't want to be with Wu Fei. He couldn't even imagine making love to the man...
As they slipped down an empty corridor, Duo tensed as a thought occurred to him. He couldn't imagine Wu Fei making love to him either. The man seemed sexless, uninteresting. It was easy to see that his body was under intense control and that his thoughts were in a higher place. He communed with Nataku constantly. He meditated. He never indulged in anything. Even friendship was a cold, controlled thing. The man was a definite loner. Only Nataku was good enough for his company.
Heero, on the other hand, was sex, lust, love, and a bundle of young hormones. In his company, Duo felt the violent 'need' in him and felt the same response in himself. When they were together, Duo's mind knew that someone was going to get fucked and his mind was never sure it was going to be Heero. That fear of Heero's masculinity was what was fueling Duo's madness and making him uncertain, unstable, and dangerous in the presence of the pilot of Wing.
"Patrol," Duo whispered.
They backed up into another corridor and crouched, waiting for the men to pass. The soldiers were walking easily, unconcerned. The cell guard hadn't been missed yet, Duo surmised. They still had time.
"We can go this way, through the less used munitions storage section," Trowa said as he motioned Duo to follow him through an access hatch. It was almost a foot thick, meant to keep munitions safe in case of an attack. The air was stagnant.
"That might be a problem," Duo remarked nervously. "It's airtight. They didn't want any degradation."
Trowa frowned. "We can't turn on the ventilation. Someone will notice that. It will set off alarms."
"How far through this do we have to go?" Duo wondered. "Are there any other access hatches?"
"It's a long way," Trowa replied thoughtfully, "but there are access hatches periodically, put there in case any unlucky accounting clerk was left behind from an inventory unit, I suppose. They may not be close enough to do us any good though. It wasn't anticipated that anyone would try and walk through the entire section."
Duo stared down the dimly lit corridor and felt a chill. He put on his best maniacal grin. "Ready for a foot race, Trow-man?"
Duo jogged regularly, it helped him relieve anxiety and depression. Duo knew that, though Trowa was a superb acrobat and toned beyond belief, his muscles weren't developed for running.
"Don't wait for me," Trowa told Duo, reading his thoughts in his eyes.
"I won't," Duo assured him. "I'm not in the best of shape either, after being used for an Oz punching bag. Don't wait for me either."
"Understood." Trowa tucked his gun into his Oz holster and sprinted down the corridor without another word.
Duo closed the door and locked it before sprinting after him. The pain wasn't anything he couldn't bear with, but it hampered his stride. He found himself lagging behind Trowa.
Lungs, working... legs, working... stamina, a-okay, Duo thought, but the stale air was like breathing soup and his lungs were doing double duty to get enough of it. That used up precious energy. As they passed metal shelving that reached up to the very high ceiling, and Duo caught shadowy glimpses of missiles and mobile suit parts, he began to have real trouble.
Trowa grabbed Duo hard by the arm just as a red haze was settling over Duo's eyes. His brain was screaming for oxygen. He was beginning to die. Still, that grip that was forcing him somewhere, somewhere unknown, plunged him into fear and awful memory.
"L-Let go," he wheezed with his last breath. "Y'r not doin' me, y' bst'rd!"
That hand ignored Duo and jerked him hard to the right. Duo swung at the figure behind it. That figure ducked and punched him back. Duo's head snapped sideways and lights shot through the red haze. Why fight? They always won, he thought. Fighting just made them hurt him more.
A door creaked open on metal hinges and air whooshed in. Both Trowa and Duo collapsed in the doorway. It was long minutes before either one of them could think clearly enough to look up and down the corridor for soldiers. Luckily, the corridor was empty. They were safe for the moment.
Duo came back to himself. He rubbed at his jaw, winced, and then looked guiltily at Trowa from under his long, chestnut bangs. "Sorry, man!" he managed between pants. "Lost it there for a second."
"Good thing that you didn't have your knife," Trowa replied angrily. He sat up and leaned against the door jamb. Duo leaned against the other side and they watched the corridor in opposite directions.
"You won't ever let up about that, will you?" Duo replied. He wiped grime from his face and smeared it on his black pants.
"What?" Trowa snapped.
"You know," Duo prompted sourly. "About me trying to accidentally kill Quatre with my knife."
"Accidentally?" Trowa snarled back.
Duo rubbed his numb arm. "Quatre's my best friend, Trowa. He still is."
"We don't have time for this. Be silent and get your breath back," Trowa ordered. "If we stay too long, an alarm will go off."
Duo didn't argue. Trowa was right.
They closed the door a lot sooner than Duo would have wished. He still felt dizzy, but he forced his legs to pump as they began to jog down the corridors again. Shinigami racing with Shinigami. Duo laughed at the thought. Trowa glanced back at him with a frown, but didn't ask him anything as they tried to reach the next doorway.
"Cluster bombs," Duo gasped. He took a frightening chance and paused long enough to press his sticky explosive against one before hurrying to catch up to Trowa.
Twenty four explosives, all with chips set to the detonator tucked into the breast of Duo's coat. All that was needed now was a quick check to make certain that the ones in the mobile suit hanger were still in place before the fireworks could begin.
Trowa was true to his word. He didn't wait for Duo when Duo collapsed. Duo could see him up ahead, struggling with the door. He only had to make it that far, a matter of a few yards. He wasn't going to fail the mission. He wasn't going to fail Heero. He was going to make it!
Duo pushed himself along on hands and knees in a last ditch effort scramble. His lungs burned, laboring and drawing in nothing but stagnant dust. Duo's heart ticked down his last moments of life even as his sudden surge of adrenalin gave it the kick start it needed to keep his body in motion.
Air! Duo gasped it in as he reached the perimeter of it as it rushed through the opening hatchway. He collapsed almost into Trowa's lap and then simply sprawled face down on the cold floor while his body tried to live.
"Over kill," Trowa rasped and then coughed.
"Huhhh?" Duo mumbled around his gasping.
"Already set bomb... above, " Trowa said. "Stupid... stop... plant another."
"T-Thu- rough," Duo coughed out indignantly and then didn't say anything more as he slowly began to revive.
Silence. He hated silence. Thoughts rushed in on Duo as much as he fought to think about nothing. On the knife edge of life or death, his thoughts twisted and turned on the what might have been's.
"T-Trowa...," Duo struggled, needing the answer to his question. "H-How, know it's personal, but, how were you able to-to be with Quatre?"
Trowa was silent so long that Duo began to feel foolish and embarrassed. Why couldn't he keep his mind on the mission? Why did he have to try and work through his unsolvable problems now when he barely had enough breath to go on living? Yet that was it, he knew, the fact that it might be his last breath, that he might die not understanding, not knowing the answer to the puzzle that was his mind.
Trowa replied raspily, short and to the point. "It was Quatre, n-not s-stinking mercenary."
"Simple as that?" Duo panted back, almost having the strength to be mocking.
"Focus," Trowa replied.
"Hn?"
"Concentrate."
Duo shook his head and levered himself off of the floor.
Trowa suddenly grabbed Duo's chin hard and leaned in close. Duo froze, wide eyed. Trowa motioned between their faces.
"Concentrate," he repeated and then released Duo roughly. "Don't remember. Don't get lost."
Trowa frowned as he turned to scan the corridor. He looked back at Duo and then forced out one more word. "Tranquilizers."
Duo stared and then he snorted and choked on laughter. "Huh!" he exclaimed, remembering how easy he had been with Heero after he had taken the pills Trowa had given him. Duo remembered curling up and going to sleep without a qualm, relaxed and trusting Heero completely.
There was a noise down the corridor. Trowa closed the door and locked it. They didn't have any choice but to try and make it to the next door. Duo doubted very much that they would and it was his fault for not being able to keep his mouth shut.
Shinigami's epitaph, Duo thought as he forced his body down the corridor, 'Talked too much'. Maybe it was fitting. He felt wild then, as adrenalin surged through his body. It was a thrill, a rush, to be so close to dying, to strive with all that was in him not to; a gamble with the worst odds.
Duo slammed into Trowa, crushing the slim acrobat into a door. The man was frantically opening it. Duo helped. They tangled. Trowa shoved Duo back and finished the job himself. He only cracked the door though and they both pressed their noses to it and breathed in deep.
Trowa held a finger to his lips unnecessarily as he pressed an eye against the crack as well. It was a long moment before he nodded that they were safe for now. He opened the door a bit wider and they both sat on the floor.
It took up precious time regaining their strength. Duo bit his lip, again and again, and didn't say the hundred things that leapt into his mind. He didn't have the breath for them anyway. If he didn't have permanent brain damage by the time they escaped that munitions coffin, he would consider himself lucky. As it was, he felt hazy and slightly disoriented. It wasn't the kind of shape he wanted to be in for the next phase of their mission. Most of the bombs were planted on the scaffolding surrounding the mobile suits in areas that personnel didn't general go. Walking out on thin girders was more suited to Trowa's talents, but the young man didn't look any better than Duo. They were going to have to work together to check each bomb.
"Alarms were reported in each section of munitions," a voice suddenly said and the door began to open. "The pilots must be in here. Be prepared. They are highly trained."
"I heard they're just boys and one pretty enough to be a girl," another man scoffed. "A boy with five feet of braided hair doesn't sound dangerous to me."
"Except maybe in bed!" another laughed. No one joined in the laughter. There was grumbling disgust instead.
Three, Duo thought as he nodded to Trowa to show that he was ready. They stood on either side of the door and waited for the Oz soldiers to fall into the trap.
The door pushed all the way open and men, with guns held laxly in their hands, came through single file. That was a problem. Duo froze and hoped Trowa would do the same until the last man had passed through. Trowa did and, as if on cue, he pushed the door shut and brought his hand down on the neck of the last man in line. There was a sickening crack and the man fell in a dead heap, gun clattering to the floor. Trowa picked the gun up, but he didn't fire, afraid of hitting the stored, deadly equipment beyond.
The other men turned at the noise. Duo's booted foot sank into one man's stomach. When the man bent over convulsively, Duo shifted feet and brought his knee up into the soldier's chin. As that man collapsed, the third soldier grabbed Duo's long braid and jerked, ignoring Trowa as the young man threatened him with the gun.
Duo whirled at the touch of that hand on his precious braid. Eyes wild and lips pulled back in a snarl, he snapped a foot into the man's chin. When the man fell to the floor, his eyes were open and glazed. Duo had broken his neck. "Nobody touches the hair!"
Duo shouted at the dead man.
"Duo!" Trowa hissed. When Duo continued to pant and glare at the dead man, he tried again, desperate to shake Duo out of his mood. "Duo, Heero is counting on us!"
Duo flinched and then nodded shakily as Trowa opened the door again. "Yeah. Don't worry, I'm on it."
Duo shrugged into an Oz coat and slapped on one of the men's caps. He couldn't pass like Trowa close up, but it might do at a distance, he thought. Pocketing a gun, he slipped out through the door after Trowa.
The ceiling of the hanger was four stories tall and most of it was cloaked in shadows. It was late at night and there weren't many workers about to pose much of a threat. It was easy for the two pilots to slip in and out of those shadows and crawl around the scaffolding surrounding the long line of mobile suits. They found all of their bombs still in place. Oz must have assumed that the young men hadn't had time to carry out their plans.
"Their stupidity amazes me," Trowa said as they descended to the floor.
"Not stupidity," Duo panted as he wiped sweat from his forehead, "Just so over regulated, and sliced and diced into sections, that nobody knows what anybody else is doing. It'll probably take hours before those soldiers we killed are missed and then hours more before anyone can be found to make a decision about it."
"We will be gone by then," Trowa replied as they slipped towards the hanger doors.
"And back again with the Gundams," Duo grinned. He rubbed his hands in anticipation. " I hope Heero did his job. By the time we detonate the bombs, and then cut up whatever tries to escape, there isn't going to be a scrap of mobile suit plans left to read."
Trowa stared at Duo as they went into the cold darkness of night. "You did well, Duo."
Duo grinned wider and chuckled. "Thanks, Trow-man. It's why Heero keeps me around."
"We just want to talk to you, Maxwell," Wu Fei growled as he crossed his arms over his chest and sat cross legged on a low rock.
It was bitterly cold and the rock must have been freezing, But Wu Fei didn't look physically uncomfortable.
Heero stood close by Duo, hands relaxed at his sides, and unthreatening as possible. He was wearing jeans and a thick coat, his hair a wild tangle over his intense eyes. He looked very handsome just then, Duo thought, and wished there had been a better homecoming than this.
After hiding their Gundams near the safe house, mission accomplished, Duo and Trowa had approached the house in high spirits. When Duo had seen Wu Fei and Heero waiting for him on the front porch, Trowa had passed him by, and passed them by, going to his own sweet reunion with Quatre. Duo had stopped and refused to come another step closer to the porch. He didn't think his own homecoming was going to be as sweet.
Duo fingered his gun in his coat pocket, letting it comfort him and make him feel safe as he confronted the two serious young men. He tried for cheery, "What's up, guys?"
Heero searched for words. That never came easy with him. Impatiently, Wu Fei interrupted him before he could speak. "Heero wants you to tell him what you want, Maxwell. He wants you to decide whether you want to remain companions or...," He trailed off and frowned. He still didn't like to think of the real relationship between Heero and Duo, or Quatre and Trowa for that matter, but it was going to be impossible to resolve the situation unless he faced facts and dealt with those facts properly.
"Or?" Duo echoed defensively.
"Or have relations with me," Wu Fei finished and scowled as he felt a blush cover his cheeks.
Duo was very quiet, thinking, and then he asked, "Do you want a relationship with me, Wu Fei?"
Wu Fei studied the pilot of Deathscythe. On the verge of becoming a man, he was still delicate and beautiful, with none of the coarseness and awkwardness of youth. His hair was a marvel and, more than once, Wu Fei had wondered what it would be like to touch it, hold it, and run his fingers through it. His eyes, like amethyst crystals, seemed lively and full of joy even when he was tense and frowning, like he was now. Bruises marked that beautiful face and one arm hung as if it were injured. Wu Fei felt anger and a need to have revenge on the Oz soldier that had done such things to Duo, yet...
"No, don't be ridiculous," Wu Fei replied and ignored a deep pang in his heart. "I don't want you in any way, shape, or form. That is a weakness and I, Maxwell, am not weak. My spirit, my chi, is centered on the fight for Justice. That is all I desire in this world. Nataku awaits me in the other."
Duo glared at Heero. "Are you satisfied?"
"Satisfied that he doesn't want you," Heero replied, but he was unrelenting in wanting the truth from Duo. "Do you want him?"
Duo said angrily, "I had time to think, while I was a guest of Oz," he replied, "I thought about a lot of things."
"What things?" Heero wondered.
He was waiting for a death blow Duo realized and it made him feel all powerful and in control. He reveled in it, enjoying it, until he realized that it was pain Heero was feeling, and that he didn't deserve it. "Will you believe what I tell you?"
"You don't lie, but your 'truth' can be too convenient."
"Yuy!" Wu Fei snapped angrily. "Give him a chance to speak."
"You are done here," Heero shot back at him. "Go."
Wu Fei stood, glaring. "You two are impossible! If you trusted one another, there wouldn't be these problems between you. It was trust that let Maxwell sleep next to me, not desire."
Heero stiffened and his hands went into fists. His cobalt blue eyes leveled at Duo as he said. "Trust me and come, or stay and let Wu Fei be the one you trust."
It was the moment of final decision, Duo knew, and that's what Heero was saying to him. Choose. Take the final step. Trust or don't trust. Love or crush their love underfoot, never to be spoken of again.
Heero turned and walked back into the house. Duo stared after him and then swallowed hard. He glanced at Wu Fei, "Sorry Wu-man, I'm going with Heero." and he did, following quickly after the pilot of Wing.
Wu Fei sighed. "There was never any doubt of that," he said to the bitter wind and then smiled. It was as it should be. He looked at the world around him, seeing something else besides the deep woods and the patches of snow. "Yes, I am done being foolish, Nataku," he said and went to tend to her memory and her spirit.
Duo closed and locked the door of his and Heero's room. The fish bowl was still on its low table, water swirling, but free of rose petals. The two koi chased each other lazily, gold and white. Heero was by the bed. He turned at the sound of the locking door and
Duo saw tension leave the young man's shoulders.
"You're a part of me," Duo told him. "I'd die if I tried to cut you out of my life."
Heero held out his hand. Duo stared at it. "Trust me, or this is over, no matter how you feel. No matter how I feel."
Duo went pale. "M-Maybe I should take something. Trowa takes tranquilizers..."
"No," Heero told him firmly. "Not between us. Trust or don't trust. If you're drugged through this, then it will be a lie." Heero held up a small tube of lube and then he placed it carefully on the side table beside Duo's bed.
"I trusted Wu Fei because I know he didn't want that from me," Duo said softly.
"That doesn't change this."
"No, it doesn't," Duo agreed. He took a deep breath, ready to argue still. "W-What if I hurt you?"
"Will you?" Heero replied calmly.
"I don't know."
"I will do something 'they' never did, Duo," Heero said. "I will ask you. I will ask you if you want to do this."
Duo felt tears. He fought them. "You've always asked, Heero."
"Not this," Heero replied. "I've never asked for this."
"It's time you did," Duo admitted. "It hasn't felt right, me being on top. I-," he blushed. "I want it the other way. I-I just don't know if I can let you fuck me."
"I don't want to fuck you," Heero replied and held out both hands now, palms up; strong, calloused hands capable of anything. "I want to make love to you."
Duo swallowed again and wiped at his eyes. The six year old in him screamed, no!, but the young man, the young man who loved the pilot of Wing, was screaming, yes!
"I'll try," Duo whispered and stepped forward. It was hard. His feet were like lead. To reach out and put his hands into Heero's hands was like reaching into a fire. Heero didn't squeeze them. He let Duo's hands rest lightly in his hands as he gently led Duo to the bed.
Heero didn't say anything except, "Keep your eyes on my face. Know that it's me, Duo. Me, not someone else. Not anyone who will hurt you."
"Don't get lost," Duo replied with a weak smile. "That's what Trowa told me."
Heero gave a firm nod and then slowly put his fingers to work on Duo's clothes. He went slowly, sensually, removing each piece as if he loved them as much as he loved Duo. When he took Duo's shirt and kissed it softly, before dropping it at their feet, Duo felt his groin tighten in response and it wasn't in fear.
Heero undressed himself with equal slowness, not wanting any part of it quick or startling to Duo. He let Duo run his eyes appreciatively over every newly revealed bit of flesh until Heero was as naked as Duo. Then Heero touched Duo's chest, watching his fingers, concentrating for all that he was worth on being gentle as he swirled them around Duo's hardening, pink nipples.
Duo gasped. He half closed his eyes, feeling a flush as those sensitive nubs of flesh were teased.
"Lay down.... on the bed," Heero told him. "Just your back."
Duo sank down uncertainly, back on the bed and hips hanging off the edge with his feet on the floor. He was trembling. He wanted to get up and run at that moment. He envisioned Heero grabbing his legs and possessing him immediately and he wasn't ready, would never be ready for that.
Instead, though, Heero kneeled in front of Duo's knees and took hold of the tube of lube. Duo heard the cap unscrew and then he felt Heero's fingers at his entrance. Duo flinched and bit down on a whimper. He was going to scream. He could feel it welling up from his soul.
"Tell me about the mission," Heero asked suddenly. "Give me a mission report, in detail."
Duo's mind clambered for the safety line Heero had thrown him. He was suddenly angry, angry at himself. "We were captured. We were setting explosives in the shuttle tunnel when we stumbled on an Oz soldier taking a leak."
Heero wasn't amused. "You were captured by one Oz soldier peeing?"
"I can handle one Oz soldier Heero!" Duo retorted.
"Then how did you get captured?"
"There were others-" Duo groaned and tensed as Heero slid in a finger.
"How many?" Heero demanded. "How many Oz soldiers did it take to bring down two, trained Gundam pilots?" He sounded irritated, accusing. That brought Duo's attention away from the invading finger.
"They were armed Oz soldiers!" Duo retorted. "It was either get captured or get shot. I thought being alive would give us the opportunity to escape and finish the mission."
Another finger slid in. "Look me in the face," Heero demanded softly and Duo looked down his body to Heero's serious expression. It stopped another scream from emerging. It stopped Duo from reaching for his knife. He shook though, like a leaf in a strong wind.
"Tell me how you escaped."
Duo related the events. Heero made him go into detail at certain points and made him repeat certain facts. Duo hardly noticed when he slid in three fingers, but, when he began a gentle massage, Duo's trembling stopped.
"W-What are you doing?" Duo demanded, startled and not certain what to think.
"Relaxing you, opening you up," Heero replied.
"I-I never did that for you. No one ever... not to me. Why didn't you say something?" Duo wondered guiltily.
"I like it rough," Heero responded with a small smile. "You don't. I'm making love to you, Duo. This is part of it. This isn't a fuck. This isn't a rape. This isn't me taking from you. You are going to offer it by the time I'm through."
"You dream nice dreams, Baby," Duo sighed, but it did feel nice, what Heero was doing. It was just his fingers. It almost wasn't like sex at all. Duo could almost fool himself, but then he felt Heero's tongue and he jumped and grew tense again. Duo had been used to bites and demanding, hurtful mouths. They had never been interested in his pleasure, only their own.
Heero licked underneath Duo's balls and then slowly came around them, over them, and then gently drew them into his warm, moist mouth. Duo sat up on his elbows, astonished. He couldn't help the groan or the gasp as he felt Heero's tongue lap over sensitive flesh. While he mouthed Duo, his fingers continued to massage and stretch him. Duo shuddered and it wasn't from fear. He wrapped the fingers of one hand into Heero's hair, the sensations so intense that he almost couldn't bear them. He had a sudden urge to push Heero off and make them stop.
"I'll stop," Heero assured Duo as he released the young man's balls and looked over Duo's throbbing cock to meet his eyes. "If you want, I'll stop."
The conflict inside of Duo was making his head hurt. There was something inside of him that didn't believe Heero, that expected violence at any moment. It was all a trick, that voice said, kill him before... but Duo didn't reach for the knife under his pillow. There was another, stronger voice, a voice that begged him to let Heero continue. It wanted more of this gentleness, a gentleness he had never known before.
"No," Duo breathed. "Don't- Don't stop."
Heero's fingers withdrew. He stood up, but he crouched, not wanting to tower over Duo. He lifted one of Duo's legs and ran hands along it, massaging sore muscles until he reached Duo's foot. Once at Duo's foot, he began to massage it with expert, strong fingers.
"W-What?" Duo was completely confused now. He watched Heero and Heero watched him back, the corners of his lips lifting slightly as he let his blue eyes fill with love and passion for Duo.
It was wonderful and relaxing. Duo lay back into the mattress, sighing. If Heero wanted to give him a massage instead of having sex, that was fine with him. When he felt the tip of Heero's cock touch his entrance, he felt almost betrayed. He stiffened and let loose a curse as he reached for his knife, expecting a quick thrust, a painful violation from Heero. When it didn't come, Duo paused with his hand closed tightly on his knife hilt.
Heero began a slow rubbing motion with the tip of his cock, while, at the same time, he sucked Duo's big toe into his mouth. Duo felt the roots of his hair tingle as an electric sensation traveled from that toe all the way to his groin. Duo hadn't known that a toe could be so sensitive. He gasped at the warm, sucking motion of Heero's mouth, wide eyed and frozen, not certain how to react to it.
Duo whimpered. He wanted to pull away again. It was too much, the rubbing of that cock against his tender entrance and the odd, embarrassing feeling of Heero's mouth on his toe.
"I'll stop," Heero repeated as he released the toe and poised his mouth over another one.
Again Duo had an inner conflict and again the frightened six year old lost. "No."
Heero smiled, a wondrous stretching of muscles that weren't used to such an expression. His mouth claimed its prize and Duo moaned and gripped the bed sheets with his fingers as Heero worked over each toe. When Heero finished there, he then lifted Duo's other leg and started on them. All the while, his cock kept up its maddening rubbing. Duo moaned and threw back his head, tensing and shivering with sensation.
Suddenly, Heero's cock began to enter. Duo was only dimly aware of it. He was well stretched now and lubed more than was necessary. Still, Heero was large and the intrusion didn't go unnoticed for long, yet Duo found himself unable to do anything about it. He was panting at the feeling of being 'filled' by warm stiffness. It stung. It pulsed with pain more than once, but Heero soothed and comforted Duo, spoke words of love, massaged and caressed in such a distracting manner that Duo couldn't respond. When Heero ran fingers lightly up and down the length of Duo's cock, making it weep with precum, Duo wasn't even aware when Heero pushed in the last inch of his cock and then went motionless.
"Tell me...," Heero breathed, trying to remain in control. "Should I stop, Duo? Do you want me stop?" As he said this he straightened from his crouch and pushed Duo's knees back just a little, holding onto them at the knees.
Duo went rigid, mouth opening as Heero stood poised over him, ready to continue, ready to pound that large piece of hard flesh in and out of him. Just like all the others...
The knife came out from underneath the pillow and Duo snarled a foul curse as he aimed it at Heero's throat. Heero didn't move, didn't dodge, didn't try and defend himself. Duo looked into his sad eyes at the last second and knew that Heero wanted to die. It was their last chance. Failure wasn't an option. Being without Duo wasn't an option for Heero either. The knife stopped, pricking Heero's throat and making it drip blood.
"I think you were sloppy, planting those bombs," Heero said.
Duo blinked... blinked again, trying to come out of the dark place he had been falling into. Heero's eyes held him, reminded him that this was the man he loved. Duo concentrated. Don't get lost, a small voice said from memory.
"What're you talking about?" Duo managed, confusion making the knife tip lower, but not lose sight of its target.
"I gave you a definite plan for planting each bomb," Heero said calmly and matter-of-factly. "From satellite reconnaissance, I was able to determine that the buildings blew up out of sequence."
"No! You're wrong!" Duo argued and found the thread of sanity and pulled himself back in, face flushing angrily as he lowered the knife completely. "I followed the plan exactly!"
"Building A-4 clearly didn't blow up in the specified pattern," Heero persisted. "I will show you the readout."
"Don't show me any readouts!" Duo shouted. "I know my own work, Heero! I placed everything according to the plan!"
Heero pushed in, butt muscles flexing with a gentle motion, and then pulled out. He paused to argue back, keeping his voice calm, but sure in his facts. "The sequence was B6, B7, C-8-"
"C-10, D-4, D-6, access tunnel 32 and 34, hanger doors, main records room, and the main airstrip!" Duo finished, livid now, and sure of HIS facts. "I followed the plan, Heero. Maybe it was your analysis of the structures that was at fault?"
Heero pushed in and pulled out again and it was almost as if he were simply shifting his weight as he shook his head. "Impossible. I hacked the specifications from the builders themselves. There wasn't any chance of error. A bomb could have malfunctioned."
Duo was turning purple. Heero was doubting his skill and his competence! "Nothing went wrong with my bombs! Maybe someone removed one before I could blow them?"
Heero moved in and out again, his face tightening and flushing warmly. "You reported to me that you rechecked their positions. Are you saying now that wasn't true?"
Duo grabbed Heero by the back of the neck. He pulled the pilot of wing down close to glare at him. "You'd better not be calling me a liar, Yuy!"
"Then explain it." Heero reasoned simply.
Duo struggled, going over the mission in his mind. He felt Heero push into him and pull out yet again, but he was so frantic to find the answer to the mystery that he hardly noticed. Realization struck him and he crowed the answer just as Heero grunted and groaned. "I set another bomb in the munitions containment rooms!"
Heero was silent.
"Hey!" Duo snarled. "You'd better believe me!"
Heero took a deep breath and pulled away from Duo with a warm wetness that made Duo forget all about the mission. Heero sat on the bed next to him and looked down at Duo quietly.
"It's-You...," Duo shivered. "You did it?"
"Yes," Heero replied.
Duo covered his face with his good hand as a roil of emotions swept over him. "I-I feel so stupid!" he choked out in misery. "That was nothing! Nothing! I was so afraid. I've been killing us both over... over a simple, little bump and grind!"
"Not so simple," Heero replied. He reached out and touched Duo's cheek. It was wet with the tears leaking from Duo's fingers. "You're stitched, but the wound isn't healed.
"It always hurt," Duo explained, hating himself for the tears, hating his own stupidity, and hating looking weak in front of Heero. How could the man possibly love him? He didn't love himself just then. "When 'they' did it, it hurt, like acid; like a rope burn, only inside. I didn't even... I was so angry, I hardly knew you were doing anything. It-It doesn't hurt at all!"
"They hurt you, because they didn't care about you," Heero replied. "I do."
Duo choked on fresh tears. He wanted to crawl into Heero's arms and sob, but he was too embarrassed, too ashamed of himself. When Heero moved on the bed, he nervously peeked between his fingers.
"W-What... again?" Duo wondered in trepidation. He wasn't ready. He needed more time to let it sink in, the fact that he had just had sex, and that he wasn't ripped, bleeding, or in horrible pain.
Heero smirked as he lowered his face towards Duo's pelvis. "We haven't finished the first time yet," he said as he sucked Duo's cock into his mouth.
Duo's back arched off of the bed and his hand twisted into Heero's wild hair as Heero rode his cock with strong, tight lips. It didn't take Duo long to explode.
Duo rolled until he was lying full length on the bed, panting and sweating. His tears were drying and a contented smile played over his lips even though he was very serious. "I thought, each time I did you, Heero, that I was hurting you. I-I never believed you when you told me it didn't hurt."
"I know," Heero replied. "You were living in the past. It had a chain on you."
Heero began to leave the bed.
"Where- Where are you going?" Duo wondered. He didn't want to sound so needy. He tried to find the words to avoid it and then he sighed and forgot about pride. "Stay with me, Heero?"
Heero lowered himself back onto the bed. He touched the knife there. "It isn't all cured, you know?"
"I know," Duo replied, "But... I think I can trust you now." Duo picked up the knife and slowly, reluctantly, pressed it into Heero's hand. "You can put that away, K? I don't need it when you're around to watch my back for me."
Heero dropped the knife into the drawer of the side table and then closed it. It was as if he were closing a chapter in their lives. A new one was about to start, Duo thought, as he settled into Heero's arms, and, he felt, it was going to be a much happier one.
***Owari***
Kracken: *sniffle* That was so sad and so happy.
Duo: Is that the end?
Kracken: Heck no! I'm having too much fun!
Duo: Oh, well, at least I got some.
Heero: *smirking* I was the one who finally got some.
Kracken: You both got some, okay? Now get Kracken some more Kleenex.
Review me please, I would love to know what you think. Really! Yes, really! :)