Disclaimer: I don't own them or the rights to them. I don't make any money off of this. I do it just for fun.
Warning: Yaoi. Guys having sex with guys. Violence, language, angst, gun play, Gore, Graphic!
Duo: Do I get to 1x2 again?
Kracken: *examining her nails* Maybe.
Duo: Aw! Come on! No more angst! I want lemon!
Kracken: Oh, okay. I'm in a good mood today.
Duo: *Grins* Yaaaa! Start typing!
Kracken: Okay, okay! Jeesh! (Anime characters! So demanding!)
Duo: *looking hentai* Need something to get you in the, uh, right frame of mind for the lemon?
Kracken: *scowls* Yeah, coffee! Fetch! Now!
Duo: *pouts* (Real people! So demanding!)
"Don't look at me that way," Duo grumbled as he paced the small confines of the cave, arms crossed over his thick coat and boots clicking against the stone. His braid swung as he made the pivot to turn at the cave wall and never fully stopped swinging when he made the pivot at the opposite wall. "You're the one that tripped the alarm."
Heero was seated on a low rock, hunched over, chin resting on his hand and elbow resting on his knee to support the weight. His other hand hung between those powerful legs, relaxed and an indication of his mood. He appeared calm, but moody, dark, cobalt eyes almost hidden by his wild, dark brown hair, but intense for all of that and following Duo's nervous pacing.
"A new addition that hadn't been placed into the computer yet," Heero replied as if he were thinking of something completely different.
"What?" Duo glared at him.
"The alarm," Heero clarified. "It was a new addition."
"You have eyes," Duo grumbled, unforgiving. "I saw the other one and didn't trip it because I wasn't relying on a plan to dictate my every move."
"Hn," Heero grunted.
Duo looked at him, pixie face frowning and violet eyes exasperated. "Are you even listening to me?"
Heero couldn't tell him. Not then, not when they were still trying to complete a mission. They were being searched for. They were cold, stuffed deep into a small cave, and without anything, but the supplies they had packed for the mission; detonator components, cell lights, a few energy bars, and the precious information on disk that they had risked their lives to get. Everything else was waiting for them at their base camp, a place they weren't going to be seeing because Oz was scanning every nook and cranny for them.
They couldn't even chance a fire. Oz would be using heat sensors to find them. Heero only hoped that they were deep enough to escape detection by body heat. To tell Duo what he knew now... Heero didn't like to think of the pilot of Deathscythe's reaction. It was a miracle that he hadn't noticed himself yet, but they were all wearing heavy jackets, sweaters, and undershirts. It would have been hard to feel anything or to notice anything missing in their protective cocoons of clothing.
"Sit down," Heero ordered briskly. "Conserve energy. You're wounded."
"So are you," Duo grumbled, but he left off his pacing and sat on the rock next to Heero. So thin and fragile seeming, Heero thought, but there was a strength to Duo that often startled him and maybe Duo himself. Duo shifted, nervous energy not allowing him to sit still.
"How are you?" Duo asked Heero at last.
"Superficial bullet wound in right thigh," Heero replied with stoic calmness. "Broken right index finger. Extensive bruising from fall. Efficiency not compromised. How are you?"
Duo raised an eyebrow, mocking him. "Fine."
Heero corrected that assertion with painful exactness. "Wound from Oz soldier's knife on left ribcage, stitched with thread from my coat and a sharpened sliver of wood. Success; minimal. Bleeding stopped, but reopening of wound a possibility. Crippled leg from previous injury, aggravated by fall. Slight concussion on right temple. Lucid, but observation critical. Efficiency at an estimated sixty percent."
"Fine," Duo repeated and then angrily. "I'm a hundred percent, Yuy, just like you! I don't let paper cuts and bruises stop me from doing what I have to." He stood up again, brushing off his hands on his pants as if brushing off Heero's concern. "I'll even take first watch."
"Not acceptable," Heero stated firmly.
"Yes, it is," Duo retorted. "Go to sleep right now or I'll make my own report to Dr. J and tell him how you turned into a panty waist over me and compromised our escape."
Heero glowered. Nothing could get him to acquiescence faster than that. He nodded once, stretched out on the ground, and was promptly asleep. Duo blinked, always amazed at how Heero could do that, simply shut himself off like a machine.
"G'night, Baby," Duo whispered and went to take up his post.
Duo settled on the cold floor of the cave and put his back against the rock, eyes and ears straining for any signs that Oz soldiers had discovered them. A mobile suit was loud. If he heard the sound early enough, they might have a chance of escape. If Oz came in on foot, then they were dead men. There wasn't any other way out of the cave and Heero and Duo had both agreed that they weren't going to allow themselves to become prisoners. They would die fighting to keep that from happening.
Duo's cut side throbbed. He pressed his arm against it and hunkered over himself to keep warm. He had lost too much blood, but he hadn't admitted that to Heero. His lower leg, too, was throbbing and swelling dangerously. Ligaments had been stretched and bruised in the fall. The old fracture was, maybe, not healed any longer. His head was another source of agony. Duo could have happily killed himself to stop the vicious pain radiating from the blow he had taken on his forehead.
In pain, hungry, thirsty, blood drained almost dry, and cold, Duo really wasn't in any shape to do anything but pass out. The last thing he needed to be doing was keeping watch and straining himself further, but Heero, as usual, had infuriated him enough to cancel any hint of common sense.
Damn the Perfect Soldier anyway, Duo thought sourly. The man had put them in that mess. A tall, gawky boy with big, steel toed shoes shouldn't have had the delicate task of walking through a room set with beam sensors. Heero had taken great pains to memorize the beams placement, but it had taken only one new placement to turn his carefully laid plan to dust. Men had died for that mistake, soldiers rushing to protect the secrets of their facility, and both he and Heero had taken wounds scrambling through the dense forest to escape pursuit. An unexpected ravine had nearly killed them both, but Heero's strength and quick reflexes had kept them from landing too badly. Still, they both had wounds enough to slow them down when they needed stealth and speed the most.
Duo had been a dead weight during their flight, especially after the fall. With an injured leg and a furiously bleeding wound, he hadn't been able to pace himself with a young man who had trained to be a tireless machine-like soldier since he was three. Duo had fallen behind. He still didn't know how he had managed to find the cave, but Heero had broken with training, and the promise they had made to each other, to wait for him at the entrance and to help him inside, never uttering a word of criticism at Duo's weakness.
Why waste the energy, Duo thought, when he himself had been doing such a good job at criticizing his own performance. Duo hated being weak and he had hated looking weak in front of Heero. So, to prove that he wasn't, to himself and Heero, he was now ignoring all common sense and his body's distress, and killing himself standing watch.
So much for the tender evening Duo had planned for their first night home after the mission. He had been given a single taste of what real sex was like with Heero and that tantalizing first time had left him eager to try again, eager to prove that it hadn't been just a fluke and that he COULD do it again. Now they were both going to end up in casts, in stitches, and hooked up to I.V. bottles.
Heero moaned softly in his sleep. Duo looked back briefly. They had set up a single cell- light and he could just make out Heero's face in its bright glow. The man was either in pain or dreaming and Duo couldn't do anything for either of those conditions. One required medical supplies and clean water and the other required getting close to a soldier with hair trigger reflexes.
Helpless again, Duo thought bitterly. He was useless to the man he loved, the man who had done so much to bring him happiness and pleasure; the man who had almost closed a wound that had been gaping wide since Duo's first rape at the age of six. He was owed more than a cold stone bed and a crippled partner.
Duo felt his leg stiffening. If he let it rest too long, walking was going to be impossible when it counted. He levered himself off of the floor and began to pace again, arms wrapped tightly about himself, and limping; something he hadn't allowed himself with Heero awake and watching. Not that Heero would have cut him any slack because of it. When they were on a mission, they weren't lovers. They were soldiers. Feelings were cut off as a liability. Heero expected Duo to perform no matter what injuries he had and Duo expected the same of Heero. If either of them fell, there wasn't going to be a helping hand. There was going to be a bullet to the head instead, delivered with precision and dispatch. They didn't leave their comrades for Oz to interrogate.
With that in mind, Duo was anxious about the state of his health. He felt pale and shaky. As soon as the sun rose, and the landscape heated up enough to foil any heat detectors, they would be on the move again and he had to be ready and able.
Heero groaned and turned onto his back, one arm brushing his wounded hip. Not a nightmare then, just pain. Duo smirked, even as he felt sorry for Heero. He could pretend that he was steel all he wanted while he was awake, but sleep wouldn't let Heero keep up any such pretenses. In sleep, he wasn't a soldier, just a wounded young man. It made Duo feel less like a weakling to know that Heero suffered too.
Heero settled back into deep sleep. The night wore on. Three hours dragged by and it was all that Duo could manage. He knew that Heero didn't need much more than that. He seemed to live on air, most of the time, sleep and food something he only allowed himself occasionally.
Standing a safe distance away, Duo called Heero's name softly.
Heero was rolling to his feet, fully awake and hand on his gun in an instant. He blinked as he oriented himself and then looked at Duo questioningly. He didn't even favor his hip.
"Tired," Duo admitted as if the word was acid in his mouth.
Heero nodded and took up a stance of watchfulness where Duo had been sitting earlier. Sighing, Duo stretched out onto the warm spot Heero had made on the hard rock and tried to snatch what sleep he could. He wasn't prepared to snatch a nightmare as well. He fought it, subconsciously knowing that now was not the time, but the nightmare was stronger than he was.
"Shit!" Duo exploded into a sitting position as arms came around him and held him tight. He struggled to reach his knife, his gun, the small explosives still in the pouch at his hip. In pain and disoriented, it took far too long to realize that it was Heero that was holding him.
"Quiet," Heero ordered.
Duo went still and nodded. Sound could be detected as well as heat. They had to be careful. Duo couldn't be screaming in his sleep now. He let himself go limp, leaning back against Heero's hard chest.
"All right?" Heero asked.
"Yes."
Heero gave Duo a brief squeeze of comfort before releasing him and standing up. Duo rubbed at red rimmed eyes and then tried to stand up as well. His leg screamed agony at him. He gasped, hopped, but then forced the foot down that was shrinking away from contact with the floor.
"Walk," Heero ordered.
Duo nodded, understanding. Adrenalin was the only pain killer they had. If it wasn't enough... He forced one foot in front of the other, shivering as the pain cascaded up and down his leg like waves on a beach. After a few laps back and forth across the cave, Duo felt some relief. The clenched muscles relaxed and he began to think that it wasn't as bad as he had thought. If it had been broken, or even fractured, nothing would have let him stand on it, let alone walk.
"Time?" Duo asked softly and Heero nodded. Without comment, Heero shoulder their two small backpacks and strode for the door. He didn't wait for Duo. He couldn't. Duo understood that and approved of it. He had to make it on his own.
Taking a steadying breath, Duo fell into step in Heero's wake as they left the safety of the cave. Blinking at milky sunlight coming through low clouds, they were in time to catch the first fall of cold rain. Luck was with them. In those conditions, they were invisible in the dense forest.
It was rough going, but Duo never fell too far behind. He was almost suspicious, ready to shout at Heero the moment he suspected the pilot of Wing was being weak and compromising the mission by holding back for him. Heero was having his own troubles though and Duo realized that Heero was limping almost as much as he was.
"Damn," Duo muttered under his breath. If Heero was showing that much of a limp then he must be close to dying, he thought. Duo quickly began making a list of the medical supplies and the first aide steps he was certain he was going to need as soon as they reached the safe house. In the middle of the list, he went sprawling onto the rock strewn ground. The stitches tore open.
Duo bit back a howl of pain and he felt blood, hot and wet, roll down his side. He shoved the material of his jacket against the wound and scrambled to his feet again. Heero must have heard the fall, but his stiff back was receding into the forest. Duo cursed and felt a pang in his heart even as the soldier in him fully approved. Both heart and soldier didn't want Heero's backside to be the last thing he saw. He forced himself to ignore the bleeding, ignore the pain, and to hurry to catch up.
Duo went over the nightmare of the night before in his head, trying to puzzle it out, but most of all trying to distract himself from pain and his imminent death. After ten miles of grueling terrain, it was only a matter of time before Duo took his last step. He knew it, and he was certain that Heero knew it too. He had seen the intense pilot of Wing look back at him and access his status coldly. Duo had met that look with one of his own, daring Heero to break his promise, ready to spit in his face if he did. No special treatment, no emotions, no sacrificing a mission for each other. The colonies depended on them, depended on them winning the war. One person, however loved, wasn't more important than that.
Duo had been searching for something in his dream, he remembered. Something had been missing, something dear to him. He frowned as he ran his long braid through his fingers, almost unconsciously checking the things that were most dear to him in the world. He looked ahead at Heero and then began to reach inside of his jacket.
"Here," Heero suddenly said.
Duo's hand dropped away as he caught up with Heero and saw what the pilot was looking at. It was a beacon, a small instrument that would tell them where Wu Fei was hiding with Wing.
"Do you think he's still there?" Duo whispered tensely. They were supposed to have contacted Wu Fei at their base camp. Wu Fei was sure to know that something had gone wrong, but they hadn't passed the time window for the rendezvous yet. There was a chance that he was still waiting for them.
Heero didn't answer such a ridiculous question. He didn't know any more than Duo did. Instead, he gave Duo a long, assessing look and asked. "Can you make it?"
"Can you?" Duo retorted.
Another ridiculous question. Of course Heero would make it. He always did.
"I-," Heero began.
Duo didn't wait for him to finish, afraid of what he would say, afraid that Heero was wavering and becoming concerned for his lover. Without warning, Duo slapped the beacon on button and then began a stumbling run as he whipped out his locator and took his bearings from it. The beacon pulsed, once, twice, and then automatically melted its insides to make itself useless to Oz. Duo threw the coordinates of Wing over his shoulder at Heero and kept onwards even as he tossed the locator aside, it's insides self destructing as well.
It was a race for their lives again. Oz had surely detected the beacon signal in their search for the pilots and they wouldn't be long in showing up. If things grew too hot, Wu Fei wouldn't wait for them. He would take Wing and escape.
Duo felt as if he were dying. The blood was pooling inside of his jacket. His leg was agony. His head, on the borderline of concussion, exploded into a throbbing, seething torment. He hardly noticed when Heero passed him easily, the precious information in his pack. The man was the first to reach the hidden Gundam, camouflaged under the spreading bows of some very tall evergreens. He hit the hatch button and, as it sprang open, he tossed the pack inside before turning and doing what Duo had feared most, trying to save him.
"Fuck you, Yuy!" Duo screamed at him, never breaking stride, as he threw himself up the last incline of rock towards Wing. "Go! Go!"
Heero ignored him. He slithered down the incline, grabbed Duo by his jacket and hauled him the rest of the way up with an iron grip. He wrapped arms around Duo, ignoring the weak punch Duo tried to throw at him, and they both took the lift up to the hatch.
Wu Fei was waiting for them. He pulled Duo inside with a curse. "What happened?! Why didn't you contact me at the appointed time?"
"Leave!" Heero barked.
"Oz is coming!" Duo added, panting around his pain. "They know where we are!"
"I'll take care of Maxwell!" Wu Fei replied quickly. "Get into the pilot's seat, Yuy."
"No, you pilot Wing. Take Duo back," Heero ordered as he began descending again. "I still have a mission."
"Mission?" Duo shouted down at him. "What are you talking about, Man?!"
Wu Fei was incredulous. He had known that there was a possibility of having to pilot Wing, but he had never imagined that Heero would so willingly turn it over to him. "What is going on, Maxwell?"
"Don't know," Duo breathed around his pain, furious and afraid for Heero. Why hadn't the man said anything about another mission? It didn't make sense. He shook himself, knowing what he had to say and hating it. "Get us out of here, Wu Fei. Heero can take care of himself. We have this mission to finish."
Wu Fei snapped into action, not questioning that order. His short pigtail bobbed behind him as he scrambled up into Wing and threw himself into Wing's cockpit. Strapping himself in, he shouted down at Duo. "Hold on!" and fired the engines.
Duo gripped the steel struts of the cargo hold and closed his eyes. Damn Heero! Duo thought. Why did he have to be so mysterious? Why couldn't he ever just tell him what as in his mind? The thought of his lover, facing danger without him to watch his back, made Duo's blood turn to ice. He sought comfort, reaching into the front of his jacket and under his thick sweater as Wing lifted off the ground and sped for the horizon. His hand met an absence of gold chain and gold cross.
"No!" Duo shrieked.
"Maxwell?" Wu Fei shouted back in concern.
"It's gone!"
"What's gone? The information?"
"My cross!" Duo scrambled up to the cockpit and grasped at Wu Fei in the cramped space. "Turn this thing around! I have to go back for it! I can't live without it! Do you hear me, Wu Fei! Turn Wing around!"
Wu Fei studied Duo's wide eyes, his open mouth of horror, his pinched, waxen skin. The pilot of Deathscythe had lost it, he decided. Without warning, hoping not to crash Wing with his inattention to the controls. Wu Fei's hands leapt out and grabbed Duo behind the neck and just under his ears. His thumbs pressed expertly on certain nerves and Duo went limp, uttering only a small, forlorn whimper.
Wu Fei cursed under his breath. It was times like these, when he wished that he had stayed a loner.
Heero ducked in and out of the undergrowth of the forest, as stealthy as a shadow. Once or twice, he crouched as Oz patrols passed within touching distance of him. He was in his element, alone and focused, ready to do what ever it took to accomplish the mission. No distractions. No worries about long haired bakas or the necessity of keeping time tables and rendezvous.
Heero's wounds were a minimal problem, the bullet in his hip, though painful, was not life threatening. The broken finger and the bruises were already forgotten. Hunger and thirst were more immediate problems, problems Heero rectified by killing a stray Oz soldier and lifting his supply pack. After that, slightly rested and full, he was ready to take on any situation.
Heero didn't question his self appointed mission. Outside of Dr. J's assignments, he wasn't bound by the strict soldier discipline that he set for himself or the promise he had made to Duo not to treat him as anything other than an expendable soldier. That promise had been a waste of breath. Heero would have treated him that way in any case. He had learned a whole new set of emotions with Duo and felt things he had never felt before, but not even love for Duo could cause Heero to compromise a mission.
Heero stopped at the edge of a ravine and looked downward, following the path that they had made in the loose dirt and rocks when they had fallen almost to their deaths far below on the jagged boulders at the bottom. He remembered with a chill, how Duo had flown past him headfirst. Only Heero's quick grab for the young man's ankle had kept him from death. Hanging upside down and frantic, Duo hadn't notice the loss of his cross. Heero had. The gold cross and chain had taken the long fall that Heero had just saved Duo from, the bright thing clattering among the boulders.
Pulling Duo to safety back up to the edge of the ravine, Heero had meant to go back down and retrieve the precious piece of jewelry. Knowing how much it meant to Duo, he hadn't had any illusion as to how the pilot of Deathscythe would have reacted at discovering the loss. It was only the arrival of Oz soldiers that had changed Heero's plans. More important than Duo's sanity, was Duo's life and the success of the mission. Keeping silent, he had dragged Duo away and said nothing.
Sliding and clawing his way down the side of the ravine, Heero was full of mud and scratches by the time his booted feet touched the top of the foremost boulder. Balancing precariously, he clambered from one to another, following his memory until he reached the spot where he had seen the cross land. That spot was full of marks, the muddy boots of Oz soldiers looking for Gundam pilots.
Heero searched, his every sense alert for danger, but it wasn't long before he had to accept, with a sinking feeling, that Duo's cross was gone.
"Stop drugging me!" Duo slurred as he pulled against the straps holding him to the bed frame.
Trowa injected yet another dose of tranquilizer into his arm without hesitation. He rubbed the spot with alcohol and bandaged it, adding to the long line of needle punctures in Duo's arm. "Next I'm going to set up a drip. I can't keep sticking him," Trowa muttered and then looked sideways at Wu Fei and Quatre. "I can't keep him sedated forever either. I'll keep it up until his stabilizes, but past that, someone is going to have to decide what to do with a Gundam pilot who's lost his mind."
"Not crazy!" Duo slurred. His amethyst eyes blinked accusingly at the other pilots. Tears trickled down from his eyes. "J-Just need my cross! Have to have it! It's all I have- all that's left of Maxwell Church. P-Please, let me-let me go and find it."
Wu Fei stepped forward, knowing that something had to be done to calm Duo. He was already pulling weakly at his straps again. "Maxwell," he said, hoping to give Duo some comfort, enough to make him stay in bed. "I think that the 'mission' Heero went on was to retrieve your cross. I checked the log of his computer and there wasn't any transmission from Dr. J other than the mission you just completed."
Duo's eyes went wide, he sniffled like a child. "He knew...," Duo seemed to be trying to think through the fog of his mind. He suddenly nodded. "Yeah, I knew there was something... he kept looking at me weird... Would Heero do that, though? Would he run into Oz soldiers and risk getting caught for something like that?" Duo tossed his head back and forth on his pillow, bangs damp on his forehead and face drawn and pinched. "I don't know... You don't know... Come on, guys! Let me go! Let me go look!"
"I'll get you something to eat, okay Duo?" Quatre said, blue eyes sad. "Let Heero search. No one is better. You know that. He'll find it and he'll be back in no time. You just have to rest and..." he blushed, but added boldly, "Think of a suitable reward for Heero when he returns."
Trowa looked at his lover in surprise and Wu Fei scowled. Quatre kept his eyes on Duo. Duo stared back, blinked, and then slowly nodded. "Yeah," he said, grasping at the straw they were handing him. "I- I'll do that." He didn't have any other choice.
Heero moved from one patch of underbrush to another, keeping a wide, obvious trail in sight at all times. He had been following the trail of boot tracks made by the Oz soldiers all day, cursing the rain and the cold, but glad that it had made the ground muddy enough to hold the tracks. It was ridiculously easy to track them. They didn't make any effort to be careful. They swaggered, talked, laughed loudly, and obviously felt confident that they had enough firearms to protect them.
The men set up a tarp towards evening and huddled inside while one set up a micro heater and began preparing rations for dinner. They began a dice game, talking loudly as the dice tumbled over the ground. Heero took up a station nearby and waited patiently for his opportunity.
"When I find those little bastards...," One man grumbled miserably.
"You'll have to wait your turn," another grumbled. "I get to kick their asses first."
"It wasn't kicking their asses I had in mind, dumb shit!"
"Crap, you're a stinking pervert!"
"Naw! Just want something for being put through this shit! What's a beating going to get me, a sore hand, a tired arm, and a dead stinking pilot?"
"I'm in," another grinned and there were a few others that chimed in.
"You're all stinking perverts!" the previous one snarled and he stalked out into the rain.
"Where're you going? To beat off in the bushes?"
"I'm going to take a piss! What, you want to watch, you stinking pervert?"
"Bite me!"
"No thanks."
The man stalked out into the bushes, walking right past Heero. He chose a spot after a few feet, opened his pants, and began peeing. He didn't know what hit him as Heero calmly straightened and broke his neck. He let the man fall into the mud and then he crouched and began pulling the gold cross and chain over the man's head. The cold gun barrel that pressed against his forehead made him freeze and curse himself for his lapse in vigilance.
"Not every body's a rookie around here, pilot," an older voice growled.
Heero swiveled his eyes and saw the older man standing next to him, smiling slightly, his graying beard and mustache framing a hard slab of a face dominated by two dark eyes.
"We're going to tear you a new one for all this trouble," the man promised and then made the mistake of motioning with the gun for Heero to move into the camp. As Heero saw that gun barrel turn away from him, he reacted with lightning speed.
His foot kicked out and caught the man in the side of the head. There was an ugly snap, but not before the man had a chance to cry out. He fell to the ground dead, but the damage was already done. The other soldiers came running, drawing their weapons and shouting for their missing comrades. Heero bent and picked up the gun. There was only one way out now and his face set grimly as he blanked out all emotions and became the 'Perfect Soldier'.
"Duo," Quatre soothed as he set a tray of food on a side table. "It's only been two days. If you keep going like this, Trowa is going to have to tranquilize you again."
Duo was hanging half off the bed, face down towards the carpet and body twisted. He had managed to work a foot loose, but the rest of his attempted escape had been pure mad panic. He felt vulnerable, exposed, threatened by gentle Quatre. He panted and tried to twist himself back onto the bed. Quatre didn't make the mistake of trying to help him.
"Let me go," Duo panted as he rolled flat onto the bed again. He turned desperate, sad eyes on Quatre. "I-I can't stand being tied up, Quatre. It's not even about the cross anymore. I-I can't help feeling like someone's going to take advantage of me being helpless... I-I know none of you would, but I can't argue with that black pit in my mind. It doesn't listen to reason."
"Oh, Duo!" Quatre replied in anguish. "This is killing me too, but you're still ill. If I let you go, I know what you'll do with your freedom. You'll run off. I'd never forgive myself, Duo, and Heero... he'd kill me!"
Duo's face twisted bitterly. "And where is Heero? He's not looking for my cross, Quatre. He did have another mission. He- he probably doesn't even know it's gone."
"You don't know that," Quatre argued.
"I don't know anything, Quatre, and I hate that!" Duo shouted. He struggled briefly, frustrated, and then suddenly had a shocked expression on his face.
Quatre came forward at once, concerned. "What is it, Duo? Did you pull your stitches? Should I call Trowa?"
Duo's hands jumped out and grabbed Quatre hard. He pulled the blond Arabian against him and circled his throat with a strong, wiry arm, almost cutting off Quatre's air. "Who has the key to the lock?" Duo demanded.
"I do," Trowa said from the doorway. Tall and slim, he seemed almost a shadow. His face, half hidden by his long bang, was dangerous. "Let him go, Duo."
Duo tightened his grip. Quatre struggled, eyes bulging as he suddenly couldn't breathe. "Unlock me," Duo said measuring out each word.
"No," Trowa replied.
They had a staring match. Neither of them wavered.
"He doesn't have much longer," Duo warned.
"You won't kill him. He's your friend," Trowa replied.
Duo shivered. He didn't like Quatre's skin against his. He only trusted Heero that close. Trowa saw the mad glitter in Duo's eyes and knew that he was mistaken. Duo might not kill Quatre, but Shinigami would. "He's dying," Duo said. "Don't you care?"
"Don't you?" Trowa retorted and then moved forward. "Let him breathe."
"Untie me first," Duo snarled, his anxiety growing. "Hurry."
Quatre fainted. Duo didn't release his arm. Trowa reached for the straps and unlocked them. When he took a step back, he discovered that Duo had taken the opportunity to steal his gun. Duo released his grip on Quatre and let him breathe, but he now pointed the barrel of the gun at Quatre's forehead.
"I'm going to Deathscythe," Duo said as he slowly levered himself off of the bed with the unconscious, gasping Quatre in his arms. "You're not going to stop me."
"No, he's not," a tired voice said, "but I am."
Heero came through the doorway. He was covered in blood, mud, and forest loam. His hair was a matted tangle over his intense, blue eyes and there was a cut across his one cheek slowly seeping blood. He limped into the bedroom and Trowa made way for him, knowing that Heero was the only one who could deal with Duo no matter what state of mind the pilot of Deathscythe was in.
"Let Quatre go," Heero ordered.
Duo felt doubly threatened now. Heero was too intense, too frightening in his present condition. Trowa hovered nearby, ready to jump in and lend support. Quatre's skin was still touching him. Duo was quickly losing the thread of sanity. "I'm going!" He hissed. "Get out of my way!"
"No," Heero replied. "You don't need to go."
"Yes, I do!" Duo retorted. His finger tensed on the trigger of the gun. "Get out of my way! Both of you get out of my fucking way!"
Heero slowly held up a gloved hand. In it, dangled Duo's cross. It was bloody and filthy, but the gold still glittered in the lamplight. Duo gasped, tears coming to his eyes. He dropped Quatre and strode forward to snatch at it. Heero kept his hold and they froze like that, both of them holding onto part of the chain.
"Get out," Heero said without looking at Trowa. "Close the door behind you."
Trowa glared, but he was more concerned with Quatre, who was slowly coming around, than getting revenge on Duo. He scooped the blonde Arabian up into his arms and murmured reassurances as he carried him out of the room, kicking the door closed behind him with angry force.
Heero kept staring into Duo's eyes. Slowly, a bit of sanity seeped into those violet orbs. They lowered to the cross and then flicked up at Heero again. Duo said softly, yet pricking with some anxiety. "What do you want, a reward?"
Heero's jaw tightened and he let go of his end of the chain. Duo took a step back, holding the cross against his heart as if it were a baby he had lost. He ignored the blood and the mud and slipped it over his head.
"I don't want anything from you that you're not willing to give," Heero said at last, but he was angry and he couldn't keep that bottled up where Duo couldn't see it. He had expected at least trust from his lover and some gratitude, not suspicion and an outright accusation. "I didn't get it so that I could fuck you."
Duo flinched. He pressed the cross against his face and left a filthy mark there. He wanted to hide. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want to face Heero's hurt eyes. Why did he have to be so screwed up? he wondered bitterly. Why couldn't he love Heero the way he deserved? The man had risked his life to retrieve a piece of jewelry and all he received for his trouble was mistrust and an insult from his crazy lover.
"Sorry," Duo said. "Just..."
"You were choking Quatre to death," Heero said angrily, cutting him off. "You were threatening Trowa. Now you don't trust me again. I can't have pilots that unstable. I thought- I thought you were improving..."
Duo clutched the cross in white hands. "This means everything to me Heero! You can't even begin to understand!" he shook his head sharply and then he glared. "I wasn't going to kill Quatre. I didn't even choke him that much. I just pinched him unconscious. If Trowa hadn't been so frantic over him, he would have seen that."
"So, the cross doesn't mean more than the lives of your comrades?" Heero wondered.
Duo pressed the cross to his face again. "No, I guess not, but... I would have done anything but that to get it back, Heero. This is all I have left of the only 'family' I ever had."
Heero stared. "I understand that," he said at last. "That's why I went to get it. I knew that you needed it." Heero took a few steps forward until he was nose to nose with Duo. Duo's eyes widened and he tensed. "So, you weren't willing to kill Quatre. You were only deceiving Trowa. I see sanity in your eyes, Little Baka. Why are you afraid of me? Why can't that be a lie too?"
"I don't lie," Duo replied distantly and then groaned as he backed away. "It's the blood and-and you stink like- like... I don't want you to touch me. You make me think about things I want to forget about. Sorry, sorry about not trusting you. You risked your life for me. I love you, Baby, for that. I'm just not used to it. People never did anything for me who didn't want something in return. You know what that 'something' was."
Duo sat on the edge of the bed and put his face in his hands. "It was getting better before this happened. I was planning on- on giving myself to you again after the mission. Almost losing the cross, and spending days remembering how Father Maxwell had given it to me, how they had died, and how truly awful my life has been up until now...
"Old habits die hard, I guess," Duo continued, "and you never forget them, really. Remembering the past erased all the good you did for me and, when I saw you, I- when I look at you now, I just wonder how you're going to hurt me sooner or later, just like everyone else has, and when you're going to ask for some repayment, some reward. I guess Quatre put it into my head and really brought the memories home. He told me to spend my waiting time thinking of a 'proper' reward for you. He meant it as a kind joke, of course, but it just twisted me up inside."
"Come here," Heero suddenly said. Duo blinked at him. "Come here," Heero repeated and walked into the bathroom.
Duo stood and nervously followed. As he entered, he saw that Heero had turned on the shower and that he was now stripping off his clothes. Duo stopped in the doorway, uncertain. He saw the marks of a brutal fight and the ugly bullet wound in Heero's hip.
"How-," Duo choked and then tried again after clearing his throat. "How did you get my cross. Where was it?"
Heero stepped into the shower and sighed as he let it run over his wounded body. He grabbed the soap and began lathering up as he replied. "Oz soldiers had it. They didn't want to part with it, or me, without a fight."
Duo nodded as he watched Heero wash himself off. "They're all dead, aren't they?"
"Yes," Heero replied. "It was the only way."
"Of getting my cross," Duo added.
"Yes."
Duo stripped off his clothes, dropping the gun among them on the floor. Determined, but still a little frightened, he stepped into the shower with Heero. Heero still had his eyes closed, but Duo knew that Heero knew he was there.
"I don't need a reward," Heero said.
"I'm giving you one any way," Duo breathed as he slowly reached out and put his hands on Heero's strong shoulders. He trembled. He was afraid, but, at that moment, it didn't matter. Love was stronger. He had to show Heero that he loved him. The man didn't deserve any less.
"I'm not taking," Heero said firmly and brushed off Duo's hands.
"Too bad," Duo said and pressed his body up against Heero's. "I'm giving."
Heero did open his eyes then. He leaned forward and claimed Duo's mouth, gently, yet insistently, sliding in his tongue. Duo accepted it as he wrapped his arms around Heero's bruised ribs and brought their erections together.
Heero possessed Duo. Duo writhed under Heero's hot tongue, his massaging, kneading hands, teetering between lust and panic, madness and sanity, as he tried to keep his eyes on Heero's face, on the fact that it was his lover who held him and loved him, not some customer from the past.
Ignoring his danger and the fact that Duo often became violent when he was frightened, Heero bravely let Duo fight the battle with himself, all of his attention on giving Duo pleasure. When his hot mouth engulfed Duo's cock, and he massaged it with his throat muscles, he was rewarded as Duo came with a shout, a deep throated groan, and a thrusting of his hips.
Heero let Duo collapse onto the tile floor of the shower. The hot water cascaded over them both as Heero took up the soap and covered his cock with it, making it slippery and hard for his lover who was panting in ecstasy at his feet. That ecstasy turned to fear again as Heero kneeled and took hold of Duo's knees.
"No," Duo moaned like a little child.
"Yes," Heero said gently and kissed each one of Duo's knees tenderly as he brought Duo's legs up towards his chest.
"Can't!" Duo argued, panting and beginning to pull away.
"Can," Heero breathed into his ear as he leaned down and embraced Duo, kissing him, murmuring his love, waiting until the moment that Due relaxed before positioning the head of his cock at Duo's entrance. Slowly, he began to push inside.
"Stop!" Duo cried and sobbed against Heero's shoulder. Heero looked down into Duo's eyes and lifted Duo's cross to his lips. He kissed it and then held it between his teeth as he pushed all the way into Duo.
Duo stared at the cross, stared at Heero as the pilot of Wing let him get used to his invasion. Heero looked beautiful with the water falling over them both, his blue eyes sparkling and fiery with his passion, and his muscles sleek and poised above him. Duo leaned upward and kissed the cross in Heero's mouth and then slid his lips down it to kiss Heero's warm lips. The fear left him.
"Now, Baby," Duo breathed. "It's all right."
Heero began thrusting, arching his back and burying his face into the crook of Duo's shoulder and neck, while his cock slid in and out of Duo's hot tightness. Duo groaned at the pain/ pleasure, but he was gripping Heero tight now, holding on to the here and now, refusing to see anything other than the man he loved making love to him; the man who had risked his life to bring him back his only good memories.
Heero exploded with a sharp cry, thrusting madly for a moment as he emptied his seed deep inside of Duo, marking him, making Duo his, reaffirming their relationship all the way down to the basest level of instinct and need. Then, Heero pulled out and back, pulling Duo up with him and hugging him close, cradling him like a child in his arms as the hot water began to grow cool.
Duo looked up into Heero's eyes and smiled. It was the first time that Duo was able to smile without a hint of fear, without the tension that had always been between them. Heero looked back in amazement and then he too smiled and that made Duo start, never having seen a smile like that on Heero Yuy. Duo kissed that wonderful smile. "Welcome home."
"Yes, home," Heero breathed. In the arms of Duo's trust, he was home.
****Owari****
Duo: Hm, that's it?
Kracken: Well, I was pretty sick when I wrote it.
Duo: That explains the short lemon scene. I didn't even have time to get hot and bothered. I feel cheated.
Kracken: Oh well, there's always the next fic.
Duo: (Getting excited) I get to do it again? Let me try a new position I've been thinking of, here's a drawing.... Heero will love it!
Kracken: (Grumbling and going to take her medicine)
Duo: (Miffed) at least think about it!
Heero: (Looking at the drawing and blushing) PLEASE, think about it!
Okay! Review please! Please! Please! Aw, come on!