Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning: Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence
Tiger Lilies
Journeys
"How do you get supplies this far out?" Heero wanted to know as they
left the last station connected to the ground shuttle.
"I have a gravi sled," Duo told him, but then, shoving hands into his pockets as he began walking past the last of the artificial earth and onto bare metal, he admitted, "I don't go into town very much. I have things drop shipped to me."
Heero hitched his duffle more securely on one shoulder and tried to reconcile the image of the Duo he had known from the war, a gregarious 'people' person, with the reclusive ship builder he was following. Something had caused this change, he was sure. Something had sent Duo running and hiding.
It made Heero nervous to walk in the bare part of the station. He could see operating machinery along the walls and air filters and purifiers dotting the metallic landscape. It made their infinitesimal size that much more pronounced. They were ants in a metal tube in the vacuum of deep space.
Duo walked, head down, picking his way over the uneven slabs of riveted metal, and looking back at intervals to make certain that Heero was still following.
"If your landlord cancelled your lease for not paying rent, who else would he rent to?" Heero asked at last.
Duo grinned. "There are people who like to be alone, Heero."
"Are you one?" Heero wondered.
Duo ducked into his shoulders. "Uhm... I guess not, but they won't let me work on my ship anywhere else unless it's docked and I can't afford the docking fees."
"You've spent years out here then," Heero realized. "This ship must mean a great deal to you."
Duo frowned and he seemed at a loss. He scratched at his head and then shrugged. "I dunno."
Heero was confused. "I don't understand."
Duo made odd spinning motions with his hands as he said, "Means to an end, I guess."
Heero tried to apply that statement to a logical goal and came up short. "That doesn't make any sense," he replied carefully.
Duo was very quiet and then he sighed, "It sounded better than saying that I don't know."
Heero watched the slumped back ahead of him, the swinging braid almost hypnotic. "You want to pilot your own ship. You are building that ship. I understand that you've been making sacrifices to achieve that goal."
"And I don't know why," Duo told him. "I just have to. I guess that sounds... odd?"
"What prompted you to begin the project?" Heero hurried his steps so that he could walk beside Duo. Duo's eyes were narrowed in thought, his face set in a frown as if he were trying to remember a faint memory or a dream.
Duo shrugged. "I was at loose ends after the war. I had a lot of time on my hands. I thought I should do... something. I was planning to..." He trailed off and then shrugged again as he finished lamely, "And then I was scrounging ship parts and piecing them together to build Tiger Lily. I suddenly wanted to be a pilot."
Heero noticed the evasion. He had secrets in his life he would rather avoid as well. Even during the war, he had made wrong choices. He respected Duo's privacy on that matter. He supposed that some things didn't have apparent explanations. He hadn't chosen his current job and he supposed he would have had a hard time pinpointing any desire to do that type of work. Still, there was a large difference between working with computers and deciding to spend years building a ship for a position that was illegal.
"Well," Duo announced. "There she is, home sweet home."
Heero looked up and saw the rusted, tin building and the bare bones frame of a ship on supports. Surrounding it was a collection of scrap and garbage.
"I wasn't expecting company," Duo said sheepishly, darting a glance at Heero from beneath his bangs. "Not exactly a chalet in the Alps. Are you sure you want to stay?"
Heero met Duo's eyes as best he could, "I came to see you, not your home, Duo."
Duo was surprised into a shy smile."If I pinch myself any more, I'm going to have a bunch of bruises. This just doesn't seem like you at all, you know?"
"Is that good or bad?" Heero wondered, concerned that he was going too fast, inviting himself where he might not be welcome.
Duo grinned. "It's good. Great, as a matter of fact."
Heero smiled back. As they came closer to the structure, he recognized what it was. "This is a processor shed for shuttle fuel." His eyes wandered to metal tanks stacked nearby. They were rusted in their cradles. "Abandoned... Are they empty?"
Duo nodded and then looked thoughtful. "You know, I never really checked, I just assumed..."
Heero felt a chill of trepidation. He made a mental note to check them later.
The building was a rambling prefab and, once inside, it didn't look any better than the outside. The walls were lined with metal shelving and they were spilling forth every type of part, wire, and scrap of machine known to man. The floor was scuffed and bare metal. A few chairs, a couch losing it's shape, a vid screen crouching under several skewed slabs of metal, and a set of bunks that had probably not had their bedding changed since the previous owners of the building had lived there, were the only signs that someone lived in that mass of material.
Duo fiddled with his braid. "Bathroom's down the hall. Kitchen is through there. Pick your bunk, upper or lower?"
"Upper," Heero responded automatically as his eyes tried to take in everything.
"Guess I missed the housekeeping class," Duo said, trying for a joke.
Heero gave him the smile he was hoping for as he put down his duffel and took out his laptop. "Where can I hook up?"
"Third door down I have a computer parts room. I have my scanners and everything in there," Duo told him. "This may be the outer edge, but you can still plug into the ether easy."
They stood and stared at each other. Duo ducked his head. "Uh, make yourself at home... I have some tea around here. I'll put some on while you stow your gear and hook up."
"Thank you," Heero replied politely and Duo seemed eager to leave. Heero understood his reluctance to stay and explain such a high level of neglect, but Heero had suffered his own problems when he had first started living on his own. With no one to care, there hadn't seemed much point in worrying about appearances.
Heero tucked his laptop under his arm and found the computer room. He chewed on his lip at the stacks of motherboards, chips, micro processors, screens, and navigation parts. He found a table and cleared it off as best he could. Searching underneath, he found a hookup cord and attached his laptop power supply. The ether hookup was more elusive. Heero turned on his laptop and hoped for a clear signal. When he logged online without any problem, he was relieved. The ether was as much a part of him as his hands. He couldn't imagine going any length of time without it.
Turning and looking around him, he found Duo's scanners and his computer. The keys of the computer were filthy and it was tilted in such a way that Heero could imagine Duo sitting and balancing it on his knee as he worked. There was a sandwich on top of it, though, half eaten and looking old enough to have petrified. Duo hadn't used that computer in some time. Heero puzzled over that as he reached out and tapped a key. The screen sprang to life and an icon told Heero that he was logged onto the ether. The timer at the top of the screen told him that he had been logged on for almost two years.
Heero stared at the sandwich, stared at the screen, and then, glancing nervously at the door, he tapped two keys to bring up the last page viewed screen. A company web page popped up, the logo of the company spinning and flashing importantly. A login box contained two words, access denied.
"Tea's ready!" Duo called out. "I found two clean cups!"
Heero flinched and closed the screen. "Coming!" he called back, but his eyes lingered on the old sandwich as he memorized the company name before he went to join Duo.
When he was perched on the edge of an old chair and sipping his tea, Duo leaning against a table, piled with parts, and sipping his own, Heero decided to keep things neutral and not ask too many probing questions. Duo was more bold.
"Okay, so... out with it." Duo prompted.
Heero raised an eyebrow. "Good tea?"
Duo chuckled. "Liar. That tea is older than I am. I meant, your life was going good, you get a call from Wu Fei that I took a nose dive, and now you're here spending some time with me. I really don't know how you got from A to B."
Heero looked down into his tea, flushing. "I...." He tried again. "It took me awhile to find out who I was, what I wanted. I didn't have time to think about... friends."
"You sound like a soap opera; Heero Yuy goes to find himself." Duo cocked his head to one side and then he straightened and paced, avoiding the stacks of parts. "So seeing me again made you think about having friends? Why me? Why not Wu Fei? You saw him too and at least he had his act together."
"Do you want me to go?" Heero asked, not sure what Duo wanted from him. He thought he had explained himself well enough at the caf‚. Maybe it was harder for Duo to accept now that they were in his home, now that Duo realized that Heero would come all of that way to stay with him. Maybe he hadn't expected Heero to go that far.
Duo rolled his eyes and grinned. "Of course I don't want you to go!" Then he looked shy and fiddled with his tea cup. "I just like things spelled out. I'm not very good with reading between the lines. If you tell me exactly what this is, I'd appreciate it."
Heero swallowed hard, almost choking on his tea. He lowered his cup. Mission parameters. Duo was almost as bad as he was. Could he admit to feeling something? Duo wanted him to be truthful. He respected that. "Developing," he finally replied and ducked his head.
Duo was very quiet and then he said, "I just can't... square this with you. I still see the stone cold killer from the war, the man with ice for blood, the man who won a war. " He sighed. "When I was fifteen, I was an idiot about what I felt and what I wanted. I always wanted to be around you, though. Even after the war, I'd think about you sometimes, but maybe that's more than you're ready for. If you just want to be friends..."
"I'd like to be friends...." Heero stood and made a space for his tea cup on a table. He struggled to put his feelings into words. Duo was patient, keeping his attention on his tea. "I've spent a great deal of time finding out what I want. When I saw you, I suddenly saw what I needed."
Duo blinked. "Needed," he echoed and then he was putting aside his own cup and digging hands into his back pockets. He looked down at the dirty floor for a long minute and then he said, "I guess I've been needing too. Gets lonely way out here. Gives you a lot of time to think, a lot of time for regrets."
"I don't regret what we had to do," Heero told him seriously, "or the cost. But that's done now. We're free to live as we wish."
Duo paced again and it was awhile before he said, "Can we just be friends?" He looked at Heero anxiously and quickly added, when he saw Heero's disappointment, "I mean, until we figure each other out again? We have a lot of catching up to do." He laughed jokingly. "Maybe we'll find out we don't even like each other?"
Heero remained serious as he replied, "I don't think that's going to happen."
They finished their tea and Heero checked out his bunk. The blankets were as old and as musty as he had feared. "Duo," he began, but Duo looked embarrassed.
"Clothes cleaner in the back." Duo nodded down the hallway. "I don't use the bed... usually... okay, never."
Heero waited for an explanation, but Duo didn't seem ready to give one. He helped Heero strip the beds and carry the bedclothes to the machine perched precariously on a metal slab at the back of the building. Stuffing it full, Duo flipped on the sonic scrubbers and the machine began to emit a tortured wine.
"Everything's old and broken down out here," Duo sighed. "Never really had the cash to replace stuff."
"Your computer as well?" Heero wondered, seeing a perfect opening.
Duo frowned as he sat on top of the washer, legs dangling. "Computer? Nothing's wrong with my computer."
Puzzled, Heero replied, "I noticed that it hadn't been used for some time... that's why I assumed... "
Duo suddenly hopped off the washer, braid swinging. "I have to go work on Tiger Lily, if you don't mind. "
"No, I don't mind," Heero began, but Duo was already striding around the building to his ship. Heero stared after him, confused. He didn't feel as if he had made Duo angry. Duo had seemed... distracted... no... more like he was entirely focused on something other than Heero or their conversation.
Heero searched his memory of Duo, tried to fit this behavior with things he'd seen of the ex pilot of Deathscythe. None of them were normal, but Duo had seemed less effected by events than the rest of them. He'd never displayed compulsive behavior.
Heero considered going after him, considered taking that chance to look over Duo's ship himself, but he decided that it was too soon. Duo was right. They needed to go slow and discover each other again.
Heero washed and dried the bedclothes, made the beds, and then wandered Duo's home, marveling at the inventory of ships' parts that he had managed to collect. Many of them were in working order and Heero had to wonder, when he finally ended up back in the kitchen, why Duo had failed to make a ship from it all. There seemed enough to make several.
Deciding to make dinner for them, Heero discovered that Duo didn't own anything that wasn't freeze dried, canned, or of questionable nutritional value. The refrigerator was full of beer, something that had turned green and was unidentifiable, and an old bottle of champaign. Examining it, Heero recognized it from Quatre's party.
Heero decided on frieze dried beef and noodles. He managed a sauce out of beef cubes and the reconstituted beef luckily wasn't salted. Now that he had a valid excuse, Heero went out to where Duo's ship was dry docked. He found Duo crouched by a strut, trying to wire a panel.
The ship was even more bare bones that Heero had thought. It was a collection of struts with a few heat paneled sections towards the back. Wiring was hanging everywhere and Duo's collection of parts had followed him there. He had them stacked inside the frame. Two years and he hadn't even paneled the ship. Heero knew Duo's skill. It didn't seem possible.
"I made dinner," Heero called out. When Duo didn't look at him, all his attention on his wiring, Heero tried again. "Duo?"
Duo looked at him then, blinking myopically.
"Dinner? I made beef and noodles," Heero told him.
Duo looked down at his wiring and then at Heero. He acted as if he were coming out of a dream and not sure if he were really awake. Finally, he put the wiring and tools down and swung down from the ship.
"How did you manage to make anything out of that mess in the kitchen?" Duo wanted to know. "I usually just suck on a beer and eat pretzels."
"It shows," Heero replied reprovingly.
"Already with the complaints," Duo chuckled good naturedly. "Are you trying to be a friend or my nonexistent mother?"
"Friend," Heero replied with a smile.
"That's good," Duo laughed. "Being my mother would just be weird."
TBC
On to Chapter Four