Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning: Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence
Tiger Lilies
Distractions
"Five ham and cheese crepes, extra cream," Duo ordered after skimming the menu. "Two of those butter rolls with the garlic, and that..." He frowned as he looked closer at the menu.. "How do you say that?"
The male waiter bent to look. "Poulion," he said with an apologetic smile. "Don't worry about it. The owner made up the name. He thought it would sound French. The dish is just sauteed onions, chicken, and peppers."
"Great. I'll have that too... and some coffee, extra cream." Duo closed the menu as the waiter moved away and then froze when he saw Heero's wide eyes. "That was too much, wasn't it? Sorry... Maybe I should change the order?"
"No," Heero assured him quickly. "I told you 'whatever you wold like'."
"Then why the funny look?" Duo wanted to know distrustfully.
"I..." Heero wondered if calling attention to Duo's borderline malnutrition, would cause Duo to rethink eating. He decided to let the mystery slide and said instead, "You sounded as if you've eaten here before."
"Oh," Duo said sheepishly. "I don't get out much, actually. I just know what I like."
Heero was puzzled. "I didn't think that you liked crepes. During the war, I remember that you ate mostly canned nutristew and fried rice."
Duo glared through his bangs. "Hey, I'm not a kid anymore. I think I've expanded my eating horizons a little since then."
Heero looked down at his menu. He was sounding critical. He needed to loosen up and forget, like Duo's eating habits, the prickly relationship they had experienced during the war. The problem was, that he had spent the last few years dealing with programmer think tanks, not developing 'socializing with Duo Maxwell' skills. In fact, his social life had been restricted to a few office parties and two one night stands where he had managed to frighten one date and bore another. He shivered mentally. He would never listen to coworkers again tell him that they had found the perfect match for him. It had shown him, rather painfully, how much even his coworkers didn't know him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you," Heero apologized. When Duo looked mollified, Heero thought, Good, now say something to make up for that blunder. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind. They ended up staring at each other.
"Okay," Duo finally said, uncertainly. The waiter brought his coffee. He poured cream into it liberally, stirred, and then used both hands to raise it to his lips for small sips.
He needed to talk about something, Heero thought. Not eating... not the war... "You look... older." Heero winced inwardly.
Duo looked at him over the rim of his coffee cup. "Uh, yeah."
"But the same," Heero amended.
"Is that a crack about my height?" Duo growled.
"NO!" Heero exclaimed and then calmed himself as he tried to recover. "I... You're looking good. That's what I meant."
"Oh." Duo's anger deflated. He put his mug down, giving Heero an appraising look. "You've changed a lot. You lost that baby face." He looked embarrassed, turned pink, and amended, "That's not bad, though... uh..." He blushed some more. "You look good, too," he finished lamely.
Heero felt his stomach twist into a knot. "Thanks," he replied quietly.
Their meal came. The waiter arranged the plates in front of them while they sat silently. Heero had ordered a simple fish and rice dish. He was so nervous, he didn't think that he could eat a bite.
"Thank you," Duo told the waiter and the man smiled and winked at him. Duo was oblivious. He had already picked up a fork and was eating quickly. "I'm starved," he said around a mouthful.
Heero watched him. For all Duo claimed to be hungry, he didn't eat a great deal in the end. Heero suspected that his stomach hadn't held much in some time and it was rebelling after only a few large bites of crepe. Duo stirred his food around in frustration.
"Take it home with you," Heero suggested. "Perhaps you'll be hungry later."
Duo smiled, relieved. "Good idea." He nodded at Heero's food. "You need to eat, man."
Heero put his fork down. "I'm not as hungry as I thought."
"Then we both need doggie bags," Duo motioned to the waiter.
After their food was packed, they sat quietly over more coffee and Heero struggled. He needed to say something. The meal was over. The check would come. Duo would walk away. After an hour of sitting with the ex pilot of Deathscythe, Heero knew that his attraction to the man was as strong as ever. It was peace time. They were both alone. Even if he could only have Duo as a friend, he thought, it was better than seeing him walk out of his life once more.
Duo had taken a pencil from his hair. In the long silence, he must have grown bored, because he began to sketch ship diagrams intently on a napkin. It was an opening.
"Duo," Heero said a little too strongly. When Duo looked up, startled, he said, "Your ship, do you mind if I see it? I might... I know something about ships. I might be able to... help you." He almost didn't say that, not sure how Duo would interpret that. Would he think it was an insult, that Heero was accusing him of not being able to do the job himself?
"You have a job, Heero," Duo replied, but there was a definite reluctance to argue in his expression. "I can't ask you to-"
"I'm offering," Heero told him firmly. "I have a few weeks of paid vacation. Nothing much is going on at the moment. One phone call, a trip to my apartment for some of my gear, and I can go with you-" He stopped, mortified at himself. He hadn't just asked to see and, maybe, tinker a bit with Duo's ship, he had just now planned an entire vacation with the man!
Duo was wide eyed, mouth a little open. "I..." He rubbed at the back of his neck as he crammed the napkin into a pocket. "I don't get it," he admitted.
Heero knew what he meant. He had spent a war being a cold, efficient soldier. His 'friendship' with Duo had been exhillerating but it had been hard edged and almost combative at times. After the war, Heero had tried to forget all about Duo. He didn't blame Duo for questioning his sudden change of heart.
Heero decided on the truth. He met Duo's eyes squarely and said, "Sometimes, we don't see what's important, until it's gone."
Duo blinked, went pale, and then said softly, "I guess you can crash with me, but... don't expect anything fancy. I live out on the fringe."
"I know," Heero assured him. "I don't need much."
"I still don't really understand why you want to hang out with me," Duo told him as he slid out of his chair and stood up, "But I'm not complaining."
They took a cab to Heero's apartment and, on the way, Heero called his work place and informed him that he needed to take his vacation. They weren't pleased, but they knew how much Heero was worth to them, so they didn't argue very much.
"Like your job?" Duo wondered. He was slouched in his seat with their food containers in his lap. He was looking down at them, fiddling with the styrofoam.
"Yes. It's been a nice change from..." Heero struggled.
"From killing people... yeah, I know," Duo finished. "Sorry, dumb question."
"You?" Heero wondered and then clarified when Duo looked puzzled. "Do you like your job?"
A piece of styrofaom came off and Duo fiddled with it between his fingers. "I guess you're going to find out... I don't have a job-I mean... I did.. But... it didn't work out. I've been looking for another one... It's been hard."
"I understand," Heero told him, feeling the bitterness of his own search for a place in the world. "It's difficult to get a 'normal' job when Gundam Pilot, terrorist, and assassin, are on your resume. They wonder why you aren't in the military or the Preventers."
Duo grimaced, "Yeah, people like us aren't supposed to be bussing tables or doing someone's ether hookup."
Heero looked Duo over, saw the old clothing, the pinched face, and cautiously asked, "The government can help you with your bills. They helped me for awhile."
"'Awhile' being the key word," Duo sank lower into his seat and looked hard out of the window. "This is a bad idea, Heero. I want to hook up again and be buddies, but... I don't have a job. I don't have any money. My place is probably locked up because I didn't pay the rent. All I do is go from one lame job to the next and work on my ship. You don't wanna know me any more."
Heero felt his pain, but he wasn't going to let him go, not now. "Before I found my current job, I was homeless. I couldn't find anyone to hire me and I didn't want... didn't want to kill anymore, so most of the work I was capable of, I was unable to apply for. I wandered from place to place, ate at soup kitchens, and stayed in charity houses. I-I drank for awhile... Sally Po walked past me on a street corner and almost didn't realize it was me. She found me a job, had me go to training sessions to learn how to do a nine to five life."
"Like a fairy tale," Duo said bitterly.
"No," Heero admitted with a sheepish smile. "I screwed up three jobs before I managed to get this one right."
Duo looked at him then, wide eyed. "Yeah?"
Heero smiled back and nodded. "Yeah. Let's see..." He scrunched down into the seat to be on a level with Duo. "The first job, my boss told me, 'eliminate the competition, Yuy'"
Duo looked shocked. "You didn't-"
Heero shook his head. "No, he stopped me at 'I promised myself that I wouldn't kill anyone, sir.' I sufficiently scared him enough that he let me go. The second job... My boss walked up behind me and clapped me on the shoulder. He barely managed, 'Good job on that account, Yuy.' before I cold cocked him, sending him to the hospital. Fortunately, they didn't press charges."
Duo snorted. "I, uh, had the same thing happen in my last job, only the boss was telling me what a lame ass waiter I was."
Heero frowned sympathetically. "I can't imagine you as a waiter, Duo."
"I was down to the bottom of the barrel. I have a reputation around here now," Duo replied sullenly. He went back to fiddling with his piece of styrofoam for a moment and then he prompted. "And what happened with the third job?"
Heero was silent.
Duo looked at him. "That bad?"
Heero sighed and ran fingers through his messy chocolate hair. "I was head of security systems for Relena Peacecraft. She... wasn't aware that I was gay."
Duo went white, wide eyed, completely and utterly shocked. His mouth hung open. "Y-You're..."
"Gay," Heero repeated and felt as if he had just stripped naked. Duo didn't know? He supposed that he hadn't exactly advertised it... or practiced his orientation, he thought with a deep blush, but everyone else had figured it out without being told. It had never occurred to Heero that Duo wouldn't. "Does that bother you?" An entirely new anxiety formed. If Duo was disgusted by him...
Duo was having trouble recovering. He did a fish imitation and then said, "I... uh... hell no. I'm...uh... gay too."
Silence. They regarded each other, both of them wrapping their heads around this new insight into each other. "I thought you might be," Heero replied at last. "I wasn't absolutely sure, though. Hilde..."
Duo thought about that. "Yeah, I can see how you would think that, but... she's a good kid and all...naive... tough as nails... but, not anyone I'd want to... well, she's like a kid sister and all that."
"I see," Heero replied in relief.
"Relena didn't know either?" Duo asked with a small snicker.
Heero made a long suffering face. "No. I thought she was being friendly, wanting to help me, wanting... well, she finally declared herself and I... I'm not sure what I replied, but I couldn't leave fast enough. She wrote me a note of apology later, but we were both so embarrassed. I don't think I can face her again any time soon."
"This is your stop!" The cab driver rapped knuckles on the bullet proof glass separating them. To get their attention.
Heero paid the man through a slot and then he and Duo were both getting out in front of a towering building.
Duo looked up and up at the uniform stack of apartments. "Do you ever forget which one is yours?" he wondered jokingly.
"Sometimes," Heero chuckled. "Not today, though. Come on."
Heero paused at the doorway and turned to Duo. He searched for the right words, wanting to make sure that he didn't get it wrong. "It took me awhile to figure life out, Duo. It didn't come all at once and it wasn't easy. I just want you to know... I'm not going to judge you because you're still trying to find out what you want."
Duo frowned sharply. "I do know what I want Heero, it's just getting it I'm having trouble with. I want to pilot my own ship. My problem with my jobs, is that I only want them to pay for parts."
"Duo," Heero paused, feeling as if he might be stepping on a minefield. "Unless we are in the military or Preventers, we're prohibited from piloting. You must know that? It was in our articles of release from war crimes."
Duo's frown deepened as if he was having trouble hearing. "Yeah... I guess I do know... Can't shake the dream though... can't stop building my ship..." He seemed to get lost, distracted, his eyes on the distance, and then he was back and grinning at Heero. "Guess I'll be looking for yet another damned job, so don't worry.... well, unless we get to my place and I don't have my place anymore."
Heero recovered with difficulty. Duo knew, but he was purposefully ignoring the law. That troubled Heero. He wanted to get to know Duo again, more than anything else, but he had worked very hard to prove that he was a law abiding citizen. Freedoms came with being trusted. Duo had been working on his ship for a long time, though, and it seemed, from his description, that he was still far from finished. The chance of him actually trying to take that particular ship into orbit were, at least right then, nonexistent. Heero could put off worrying about it for now, until it until it became a reality.
Heero used his password on the keypad at the door and then motioned Duo inside. "Maybe I can help you look for work," he offered. "I have some contacts."
"Jeez, Heero!" Duo laughed, "Help me with my ship, help me find a job... You make one helluva house guest."
TBC