Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Fake and I don't make any money off of this. If you try and sue me I'll kidnap them, change their names to Dea and Reo, and run away with them to California, so there!
Warning: Yaoi. Male/Male sex. Violence. Language. Bad, bad Bicky. Angst.
"Koibito."
Dee smiled sleepily and snagged the body close to him. He snuggled up against its warmth and breathed in the fresh scent of his lover.
"You promised, Dee."
"Hmm?" Dee murmured as his lips found a soft nipple and teased it until it was hard. The slap on the head startled him. It was light, but stinging enough to wake him completely. Blinking, wide, green eyes, he tried to make sense out of Ryo's look of annoyance.
"You promised to take Bicky to the ball game today," Ryo reminded him in exasperation.
"He doesn't play baseball," Dee grumbled sleepily. "He plays 'steal the bag from the old lady.' "
"Dee!" Ryo exclaimed, shocked.
Dee snagged his cigarettes and lighter from the nightstand and lit up. He took in one long draw and then let it out as he glared at Ryo out from under his tangle of black hair. "Why don't you take him?" he asked Ryo.
"I have to work, remember?"
"Yeah, that Daniel's case. What a mess!" Dee grumbled as he took another puff. "Too many suspects with too many alibis. It's no wonder Dreig asked you to help him out with it." He took another puff and then added. "I should be helping too. We are partners."
"Tomorrow," Ryo assured him as he slid out of Dee's grasp and climbed out of the wide bed. "Today you have to take Bicky to a baseball game."
Ryo was naked. He stretched and yawned, his lithe body showing its curve of back and its perfectly rounded ass. Smaller than Dee, Ryo retained a boyish charm to his looks, an almost feminine quality that still managed to have the edge of the masculine. That, combined with a face that could launch a thousand ships, liquid dark eyes, and a fall of shinning, honey colored hair, always managed to make Dee ache in his heart and between his legs.
"Love," Dee purred. "Come here?"
"Hm?" Ryo turned and was caught off balance when Dee leaned forward and grabbed his wrist. Dee pulled Ryo over the bed towards him and locked lips with his lover while his broad hand cupped one of those incomparable ass cheeks and squeezed.
"What're ya doing in there, Ryo?!" Bicky's voice shouted from the other side of the bedroom door. "I need breakfast!"
"Eat a pop tart!" Dee snarled back.
"Shut up, stupid! I wasn't talking to you!" Bicky snarled back.
Ryo began to pull away. "He needs more than pop tarts, Dee, and so do you. I'm going to make breakfast."
"You're my breakfast," Dee breathed as he tried to capture another kiss.
Ryo did pull away then and stood up as he said breezily, "I won't have to cook so much then."
"Very funny,' Dee grumbled. He pointed his cigarette at Ryo. "You spoil him! That kid has got to learn some manners!"
"Ryo!" Bicky whined.
"Coming!" Ryo shouted back.
"I wish you were," Dee interjected suggestively and smiled at Ryo's blush.
"Yamero, Dee!" Ryo retorted as he went to pull on his clothes. "Just stop! You always try to start something when we don't have time."
Dee pointed his cigarette at Ryo again. "I think you're afraid of Bicky."
Ryo turned with a tight expression. "Nani?"
"You think if you punish him or restrict him in any way, he'll run off."
"He might," Ryo replied and turned away again as he slipped on his shoes. "It's better to give in a little-"
"It hasn't BEEN a little, Ryo," Dee protested as he ground his cigarette out into the ashtray. He climbed from the bed and went to circle his strong arms around Ryo's waist. He held Ryo tight against him even though Ryo was tense and ready to argue. "He pushes you to see what he can get away with and you've been backing off too many times. You took him in to give him a normal life. He has to know what that means." Dee sighed and smiled. "You're too much like the nun who raised me in the orphanage; a pushover. If circumstances had been different, I probably would be in jail somewhere serving out twenty years to life."
Ryo nodded. "You had a man show you right from wrong. You had a strong role model to keep your toes on the right side of the law."
"Yeah, my 'Dad'," Dee mused, thinking about the past. "He was just a cop that found me on the street, but he gave my backside a whipping when it needed it and he was always around to tell me what was right. He was a tough guy."
"I'm not," Ryo interjected with a sigh.
Dee smiled. "No, you definitely are not, but that's why I love you, Baby," Dee said and kissed Ryo's ear as he whispered into it. "Don't change, not even for Bicky."
Ryo smiled back. "People don't change, not really. If I tried to be tough with him, he would know it was a lie."
"Yeah, he would."
"Dee," Ryo began, running a finger along Dee's bare arm.
Dee knew what was coming and he braced himself for it.
"You've been there," Ryo said. "You know how he thinks, why he does the things he does. I can't... No matter how much I try to make this place a home for him, he always runs back to the street. I'm not strong enough to keep him away from it. You... You are. Can't you talk to him, work with him?"
"It may be too late, Ryo," Dee muttered as he nuzzled the back of Ryo's neck and enjoyed his scent. "I had the orphanage since when I was a baby. Bicky didn't have anything but an alcoholic, drug dealing father and the streets to raise him. That's often a lethal combination. Sometimes, Bicky wants to learn, wants to be something, but mostly he wants to be the big man with his friends and be where he's comfortable... He probably feels some guilt too. His friends are still in their 'situations'. He's been given something better. I know.... well, I used to think I didn't deserved to have better than my friends. I used to pretend that I didn't so that...," he paused and then went on, trying to find the words. "I guess I was afraid they wouldn't be my friends if they knew I had three square meals a day, a roof without holes, and someone who cared whether I came home or not. Their friendship meant everything to me."
"Don't say he is a lost cause," Ryo retorted angrily. "I won't listen to it!"
"I know you won't," Dee sighed. "You never give up. You're stubborn through and through. Stubborn isn't enough though, Baby. Bicky is the person who has to straighten out himself. Until he decides not to steal, con, scheme, lie, and hang out with a bad crowd, nothing you say will do any good." He added with a growl, "If it were up to me..."
Ryo turned in Dee's arms to meet his eyes. "What?" he asked, his expression telling Dee that he was afraid of the answer.
Dee knew he was in for it, but he was too bull headed not to say what he thought. "If it were up to me, Bicky would have been in Juvenile Detention by now."
"How can you say that?" Ryo exclaimed and pulled out of Dee's arms. "I thought-"
"That he was my pride and joy like he is to you?" Dee scoffed. "He's just a street rat to me, Ryo, a street rat who makes me miserable as often as he can and constantly tries to keep us from being together. I know you'd like us to be a perfect, happy family, but it's not going to happen. I told you once that you were being naive about Bicky, that he was raised by the slums and you didn't know him at all. I'm still saying that. It's still true. You really don't have any idea what that boy is capable of, what he'll do without a twinge of conscience. When you grow up on the hard side of the street, you aren't often given one of those."
"Ryo!" Bicky's plaintive voice carried to them through the door.
"Eat a pop tart!" Dee shouted, "We're busy!" He put a finger to Ryo's lips and counted to three silently.
"I need breakfast, you pervert!" Bicky snarled. "Get your stinking hands off of Ryo and let him out of there!"
"No!" Dee retorted. "I told you to get your own breakfast!"
There was silence. Ryo became nervous instantly. "Dee! There's discipline and then there's neglect! Make your point another time. I'm getting him his breakfast."
Dee threw up his hands and began to reach for his own clothes. "I made my point, Ryo! You ask for my help, but you're not willing to stand by and let me do what it takes. That's part of it, you know? Standing by and not interfering. I knew you were too gentle, too nice to do that."
"I would stand aside if what you were doing made sense!" Ryo snapped back as he headed for the door. "This is just breakfast!"
"No," Dee shouted after him and his tone made Ryo stop and look at him with wide eyes. Dee continued, softer. "It isn't about breakfast. It's about respect. Bicky doesn't respect us. He insults me. He orders you around. He gets away with it. He won't learn from people he doesn't respect."
Ryo looked down at the floor, jaw working, trying to keep his emotions under control. He was very upset and it wasn't all anger at Dee. He was genuinely concerned about Bicky's welfare and his future.
"I'm not a parent," Dee said softly as he moved to take hold of Ryo's arm, trying to make him understand. "I don't know how to be one. I didn't have any role models to teach me." he paused and then dared as he added. "I never wanted kids, Ryo. I've always been more attracted to guys than girls. I never thought kids would ever come up. Marrying you has been the best thing that ever happened to me, but I won't lie to you. I won't pretend that I like having a ready made family, that I like being stuck with Bicky and sometimes Cal. I know I have responsibilities. That's why I'm taking Bicky to the ball game today, but... you know I'd rather be doing a hundred other things."
Ryo wiped at his eyes and made a small sniffle sound, but Dee wasn't sure if the man was actually beginning to cry. It embarrassed Dee, that much emotion coming from a man, even his gentle lover, so he didn't stop Ryo when the man pulled away and left the bedroom.
"Damn!" Dee muttered. He had been putting off that particular confrontation as long as possible. Issues like that ended regular marriages. When one partner wanted children and the other didn't, breakups were inevitable. Dee was willing to tough it out though, because he loved Ryo that much. That should have counted for something, but deep down, he knew it didn't. It was a lie, pure and simple, no matter ho hard he worked at pretending that it wasn't and that he was fine with things the way they were.
Resentment had a way of building until it exploded and his had come very close on several occasions. Coitus interruptus had begun to be a way of life with Bicky around and Dee was sick and tired of walking around with a bad case of 'blue balls'. The boy seemed to know, down to the last second, when Dee was nearly past the point of no return. Shy and inhibited even in the best situations, Ryo's embarrassment wouldn't allow him to continue when Bicky let his winy, obnoxious presence be known.
"I think it's time for a talk," Dee muttered as he finished dressing and left the bedroom. With or without Ryo's permission, it was time for him to lay things out for Bicky, to tell the boy how things were going to be from now on... or else. Yes, there was definitely going to be an or else. He was a cop. Ryo was a cop. Bicky had broken dozens of laws and would probably do so again. It was their duty to hand him over to be placed in Juvenile Detention. That was the stick Dee was going to threaten Bicky with and he was not going to be too afraid to use it. The boy was done ruining their lives.
Ryo was in his element when it came to domestic chores as he cooked and brought Bicky and Dee their breakfast. He was smiling slightly with pleasure, his handsome face glowing. Family was everything to Ryo. He had always had it and had missed it when he had moved to New York City. He didn't seem to care when Dee sat across from Bicky at the table and buried his nose into the newspaper to read the police blotter, chewing on toast and sipping coffee, or that Bicky sat, music blaring from headphones and head bobbing to the beat, eating his oatmeal while ignoring the man who had gone to the trouble to make it for him. They were his little 'family' and they made Ryo happy.
The blonde, blue eyed, part African American boy, baseball cap turned backwards on his head, looked up and mumbled around a mouthful of food. "Why do I have to go with stupid? Why can't you come, Ryo?"
Ryo started to reply and then reached out and pulled the headphones from Bicky's ears. The music blared out of them. Bicky turned it off reluctantly. Ryo tried again to explain. "Dee wants to take you, Bicky."
"I'm not stupid, man!" Bicky growled. "I know he doesn't!"
"Says who?" Dee muttered from behind his newspaper.
"Shut up!" Bicky snarled. "I don't want to go with you!"
Ryo sighed. "We've already gone over this, Bicky. I have to work. If you want to go to the game, Dee has to take you."
Bicky glowered. "I can go by myself."
Patiently, Ryo contradicted him. "No, you can't. It's too far and there will be a lot of people there. What if something were to happen?"
"Like what?" Bicky wondered mockingly. "A drive by shooting? A stabbing? A gang fight? It's a baseball game, Ryo!"
Dee peered over the edge of the newspaper, watching his lover try to find an explanation. Ryo didn't have one. Normal little boys, with normal little lives, didn't go to baseball games, or anywhere else, by themselves. His attempt to treat Bicky as normal was falling flat on its face. Dee couldn't stand the struggle, the hurt, in Ryo's face. He sighed and intervened.
"I have the money and I'm not giving it to you to spend," Dee said irritably to Bicky. "You'd never make it to the ball game and you know it. Instead, you'd be trotting right down to the slum to show off to your friends."
Bicky glared, but it was true and he knew it. He slumped in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "What ever! Go ahead and be the big man! Order the kid around! If it makes your dick feel bigger-"
The slap was loud. Bicky was stunned. Dee was stunned. Bicky's skin was light enough to show the mark of Ryo's hand on his cheek. Ryo was mortified at himself. His mouth worked. His dark eyes grew round.
"B-Bicky! I-I'm so sorry!"
"Sorry?" Dee snorted. "Why? Foul mouth street rat..."
"Bicky!" Ryo said again, ignoring him. He started to reach out to Bicky, but Bicky's face grew furious. He exploded up from the table, backing away with hands clenched into fists.
"Hey! Whatcha going to do, Ryo? Beat up on my now like my old man used to?" Bicky snarled and backed up towards the front door. "I don't need that shit! I'm splitting!"
"No! Bicky!" Ryo lunged for him, frantic to keep him there, but Bicky hit him hard in the face with his fist. While Dee was scrambling out of his chair and Ryo was reeling in shock, the boy was out the door, tennis shoes flying.
"I can't believe he hit you!" Dee was saying angrily as he helped Ryo straighten. He touched the red, bruising mark just under Ryo's eye.
"Dee!" Ryo gasped, recovering. "We have to go after him!"
Dee held onto Ryo tight. "No, you won't catch him now," he argued and at Ryo's angry expression. "Even if you did, what would you say to him? You shouldn't have hit him, but he was wrong, Ryo."
Ryo clenched the offending hand. "Why did I do that, Dee? Why?"
"Like me, you reached the breaking point, that's all," Dee explained. He pulled Ryo over to the table and sat him down, keeping a hand on his shoulder as both a comfort and to restrain him. "You gave and gave and he just took and flipped you the finger. Even you can only take so much." He took hold of Ryo's clenched hand and unfolded it into his. He gripped it and kneeled to look into Ryo's miserable eyes.
"That's why you tried to get me to help, wasn't it?" Dee guessed. "You knew you were about to lose it. You should have told me. You know I'm slow on the uptake, Love. I just sat there and made it worse for you." He rubbed Ryo's hand with his thumb. "It shouldn't have come down to a right cross, Ryo."
"Hearing him say such an awful thing to you...," Ryo pulled his hand away and bowed his head into it.
"He's said worse when you weren't around to hear," Dee admitted. Dee didn't tell Ryo that Bicky had called Ryo stupid and a chump. He didn't want to hurt Ryo any more than he was all ready.
"I know he cares about us," Ryo said, startling Dee. Ryo lifted his head and met Dee's eyes with his own, red, rimmed pools of sadness. "He pretends not to. He wants to be the tough guy, I know. That's the way kids survive on the street. He can't admit that he needs us, that he wants to need us. I was trying... trying so hard to overcome that conditioning. Now-Now I've ruined everything! We may never see him again, Dee!"
Dee made the mistake of reacting with his head instead of his heart. "I'll file a missing person and have everyone out looking for him. He's easy enough to spot. There aren't many blue eyed African American boys with blonde hair running around the slums. Besides, he'll commit a crime soon enough and he'll probably get dragged into the station because of it."
Ryo stiffened and stood up. He was furious and shaking. "Are you telling me that you won't go look for him?"
Dee straightened and met Ryo's eyes as calmly as he could. "If I found him, Ryo, he wouldn't come back with me."
"You won't," Ryo reaffirmed and then went for the front door, shouting over his shoulder, "Kutabare!"
"That didn't sound good," Dee hissed, but he didn't go after Ryo. Let the man cool down, he thought. A few hours of searching would bring him to his senses. Bicky knew the slums. If he didn't want to be found, there was no way that Ryo would find him. His lover would come back and then they could talk again.
Dee went to close the open door and peered briefly down the hallway. He was in time to see Ryo step into the elevator. Everything inside of Dee urged him to run after his lover, beg his forgiveness, and search along with him until Bicky was found... for Ryo's sake, of course, and his own. As far as Dee was concerned, Bicky was a candidate for a foster home or Juvenile Detention, and Ryo should never have received guardian status from the few disinterested relatives that Bicky had left in the world.
Dee picked up his Japanese-English dictionary and thumbed through it. Kutabare... seemed to be two words. Ryo was just too innocent to raise a street rat like Bicky, Dee thought. The boy ran circles around him and used him unmercifully. Kuta.... Dee frowned. Bare. Kutabare. Ryo didn't lie. He didn't cheat. He hardly knew what hate was all about. Dee suspected that he barely fathomed the motivations of the criminals he investigated. Ryo could never understand Bicky or really know what kind of life he had led. He didn't understand how hard it was to change that kind of upbringing. Ryo was just too nice for his own good.
Dee didn't find the word in the dictionary. He found it in the scribbled writing on the back cover that another Japanese American in forensics had angrily added after being kept on an all nighter on Dee's orders. The man had been ready to go on a hot date and he hadn't appreciated missing out on it to help Dee with his case. When Dee had gone for coffee, the man had defaced his dictionary for spite.
"Fuck you?" Dee was astonished as he dropped the dictionary. "Ryo said, fuck you, to me?" It was worse than he thought. Ryo was really angry with him to talk like that! "I should have gone after him," Dee realized and grabbed for his coat. Maybe it wasn't too late.
But it was and Dee kicked himself mentally. Ryo had taken the subway, for the worst part of town, Dee was certain, and he hadn't even taken his gun. With that in mind, Dee backtracked to the apartment, called into the station to not only call Ryo in sick, but to put out a search for Bicky. Hopefully, if they found one they would find the other.
After strapping on his gun, Dee hopped into his car and drove down to the slums. He had a lot of time to think and that irritated him. On his best day, Dee didn't like to think about anything. Damn Bicky anyway for ruining things between himself and Ryo once again! But, another voice, the one that sounded too much like the nun who had raised him in the orphanage, wondered who's fault it really was. That little voice made Dee angry and uncomfortable. How could it possibly be his fault?
Dee remembered last evening. Bicky had left for the movies with his friends and the apartment had finally been all his and Ryo's. Dee had brought home yellow roses and a bottle of good wine, Ryo's favorite. Dee felt a swelling below his belt even as he seethed with anger.
A fine dinner. A soft embrace with goblets of wine. A bed strewn with yellow rose petals. Ryo stretched out like something out of Dee's wildest, wet dream. Hard on tauntingly red over his alabaster expanse of slim belly, his limbs stretched out, yet loose and languid, Ryo had smiled at Dee invitingly, dark eyes pools of want and love and handsome face half hidden by his fall of sun tinted, bronze hair.
Dee had thrown of his clothes, grinned in anticipation, and set one knee on the bed in preparation to pounce and claim his love with animal abandon, already imaging his raging erection buried in Ryo's hot, silky, oh so tight body.
"Ryo!" Bicky's high pitched screech had made Dee's every nerve tighten.
"Bicky?" Ryo had responded, sitting up at once, mood shattered. "What's wrong?"
"Tim punched me! My nose is bleeding! Come out here and help!"
"What?" Ryo had scrambled from the bed, Dee forgotten, barely throwing on a robe before charging out of the bedroom.
Superficial cut, no harm done, and the night ruined completely. Dee seethed at the memory. He could have happily broken Bicky's nose for him, but he had thrown himself onto the rose strewn bed instead and drank the rest of the wine to drown out his misery. Not the first night ruined and certainly not the last.
Other, even greater outrages paraded through Dee's mind and he began to really get angry. Idling at a stop light, he began to work through a speech in his head, one he intended to deliver to Ryo as soon as he caught up with his naive partner.
"You have to realize, once and for all, Ryo," Dee muttered aloud, ignoring the looks he received from the driver's on either side of him. "That Bicky is just using you. Your apartment is a base for his criminal operations and you're his perfect cover. He thinks you're a chump, an idiot, a pushover, an easy mark. You're always there to pull him out when he gets caught and ready to save him when he steps in with the wrong crowd. What better backup for a criminal than to have a cop as a guardian? Bicky needs to have professional help. Turning him over to the juvenile system would be the best thing for him. They have psychologists, counselors, guards, barbed wire... no, better not say that... secure dorms where Bicky can be safe and kept off the streets and out of my hair for good."
Those words seem to echo some memory in Dee, a memory he had tried hard to forget. He tried to shrug it away and screw down his determination, but the memory was relentless. It wouldn't be ignored.
"He's a good boy, deep down," Mother said softly in the memory, sounding heart broken.
"He stole again from Pop's corner market," replied the voice of Dee's 'Dad', the police officer that had found him as a baby. "He needs counseling, a place where he can't escape to the streets, and people who know how to handle him. You're a pushover Sister, forgive me, but you know it's true. He twists you around his little finger and probably thinks you're just a chump, a good cover, and someone to get him out of scrapes when he gets in with the wrong crowd."
"He's a good kid," Mother argued. "I can't do that to him. He needs love and a firm hand. You grew up on the streets too. You know what it's like. If you're so concerned for him, why don't you help him, give him the benefit of that experience? I'll give him the love if you give him the discipline."
"Love? I never had love, sister. Makes me jealous, almost, seeing you give it to him."
"Is that why you're so angry?" Mother wondered. She had always been so perceptive, "because he's being taken care of and loved when you were sent from one foster home to the next? It's natural, I suppose, but you should turn that envy into joy. God is giving you the chance to make it better for Dee."
"I- maybe you're right. It's hard though. He's too much like me, Sister. I see him going down the wrong road headlong and it scares me. God didn't let me save him so he could spend twenty to life in jail."
"You have the power to change that outcome," Mother said firmly. "Only you. He trusts you. He knows you understand and want to help him, even though he shouts at you and doesn't want to do as you say. You want to be his friend, but he has friends. He needs a 'dad'. Children seldom like their dads until they are older and understand what the discipline was all about. When he understands, he'll give you the love that you've always wanted."
Dee had overheard everything and it had changed him. He had tried harder and his 'Dad' had guided him back to the right side of the law and cemented his feet there before he had died.
Dee scowled and wiped at his eyes. They were stinging and he refused to call it tears. Was that why he was so angry with Bicky? Because he was jealous of the love Ryo handed out to him without reservation? Jealous of the home Ryo had given him when Dee had only known the orphanage? Jealous when Ryo left him to take care of Bicky? Angry that Bicky took all of it for granted and even had the nerve to despise it and Ryo?
What Dee would have given to have a real home and a person to love only him, not a drafty old church with a nun divided between dozens of other children as equally needy as Dee. Ryo had given Dee that: a home and love. Dee didn't want to share it. He wanted Ryo all to himself. Bicky was in the way of that.
Dee's hands gripped the steering wheel hard. He felt guilty... foolish... immature, but he couldn't help wanting Bicky out of the picture. Sometimes he felt as young as Bicky, siblings vying for a parent's attention, but that was too embarrassing to admit to even when Ryo often treated them that way.
Ryo was the mother, though he would have punched anyone who accused him of that. He nurtured, he cared, he loved. Dee knew that Ryo wanted him to be the father, strong, masculine, firm, and competent and that he wanted Bicky as their son. A pleasant fantasy for a man who loved family, but had been born to love his own sex instead, making that fantasy nearly impossible. Bicky's arrival had been a miracle, a gift, and a dream come true for Ryo. That Dee wasn't willing to play his part in the dream must have hurt Ryo terribly.
"For you, Baby," Dee muttered, "I would do anything, but this..." Dee hissed between his teeth. "I can't play this game any more. You have to be made to see sense. I'm no kind of father and one guy, however sweet, isn't going to turn a street rat like Bicky into an angel. I had a heart, at least, something to mold and make good. Bicky doesn't have anything."
The houses became run down and the street began to fill with ruts and cracks. Dee slowed, rolled down the window, and scanned the neighborhood for Bicky or Ryo. More than once, someone ran up to his car to offer him drugs. Dee waved them off, but he made mental notes as inconspicuously as possible. He didn't want to get shot as an informant.
When he pulled up beside a Hispanic woman walking on the sidewalk, she frowned menacingly at him. "I've got pepper spray! Don't even think of trying anything!"
Dee held up both hands and smiled to show that he wasn't about to menace her. "Just looking for someone, ma'am! Have you seen a drop dead gorgeous guy walking around here? Brown hair, nice suit, puppy dog eyes."
Her face lit up. "Yeah, I seen him! You're right, big, dark eyes, just like a puppy!" she looked concerned. "If he's your friend, you better find him. He don't belong down in a place like this, I could tell. He's an easy mark."
Dee sighed. "I know. Where did you see him?"
The woman motioned vaguely back the way she had come. "Down there, but he was walking fast. He's probably not there anymore."
"Thanks," Dee said with another smile and she nodded and smiled back. Dee's smile dropped as soon as he pulled the car around and began driving in the direction she had indicated. It was even deeper into the slums. Ryo was a trained police detective. He could take care of himself in most situations, but he was unarmed and distracted by his search for Bicky. There was no telling what trouble he could be walking into.
Bicky! Dee pulled to the curb and jumped out. He collared the boy before he realized that Dee was there. He was ready for Bicky's low blow and he fended it of and gave Bicky a shake.
"It's me!" He shouted into Bicky's face.
Bicky stopped fighting and glared, fists clenched. "What do you want?!"
Dee shook him again. "I want Ryo. He was down here looking for you."
"Here?" Bicky was opened mouth now in concern and then he was angry again. "Why'd you let him do something crazy like that?! They'll eat him alive, Dee!"
"What do you care?" Dee shot back and shoved Bicky away from him, realizing the boy didn't know anything about Ryo's whereabouts. "Get on with your little street rat life. I have to look for him!"
Dee started to stride away, deciding to leave the car behind and begin looking down ally ways. He checked his gun in its shoulder holster. He was sure he would need it. When Bicky grabbed at his coat tail and jerked, he tried to ignore the blue eyed boy.
"Son of a bitch, Dee! I wanna look for him too! Wait up!"
Dee looked back. Bicky was panting. Dee had long legs and a long stride, the small boy had been finding it hard to keep up. "Why?" he demanded, "afraid of loosing your chump, your meal ticket?"
"You shut up!' Bicky yelled back.
"Why?" Dee asked again. "Isn't that what you called him, chump? Stupid? Idiot? Pushover?"
"I-," Bicky was flustered, trying to keep his bad boy image and failing. He let his anger call the shots. "He's just a fuck to you, so I guess we're even, fag-boy!"
Dee was so angry that he couldn't see for a moment. He stopped and stood while he trembled and tried to keep himself under control.
"I'm going to look for him," Bicky seethed, ignoring his danger. He was used to it.
"Why?" Dee demanded once again.
"Why're you?" Bicky shot back.
Dee met his blue eyes with an intensity that made Bicky nervous. "Because I love him and he needs me."
They both stood, breathing hard, full of emotions, staring into each others eyes. Bicky struggled with himself, struggled with his dislike of Dee, and then thought of Ryo out in the worst part of town by himself. "Same here," Bicky bit out.
A long moment passed and then Dee said, "Let's go then and find him."
They searched. The sun began to go down. Dee felt his heart disintegrating as he called the apartment for the hundredth time and received no answer. Putting his cell phone away, he looked down at Bicky. Bicky looked ready to cry, hands sunk deep into his coat pocket and face screwed up and hidden under the long bangs of his blonde hair.
"All my fault," Bicky mumbled.
"Yes, it is," Dee agreed. Bicky looked up at him with a glare and then looked down again, still ready to cry. "Ryo's better than us. He loves us," Dee told him. "He loves everybody. The world is just full of people he thinks needs his help, needs a good meal, needs a shoulder to lean on. We're just two selfish street rats crawling around at his feet, hoping that he doesn't realized how worthless we are. I at least have the sense not to bite."
"Jerk," Bicky growled. He thought for a moment, scanning the quickly darkening streets. "He makes me feel weird. I don't know how to handle him being so nice to me. I'm nobody to him. Doesn't make sense. I keep thinking he wants something."
"He does," Dee replied.
"What?"
"He wants you to grow up to be a decent human being," Dee replied.
Bicky snorted. "What does he want you to grow up to be, less of an idiot?"
Dee found himself chuckling, but it was edged with his worry. "I guess I did do a little growing up. He showed me love isn't a joke. You have to work at it, sacrifice for it, and give it even when you don't always get it back."
Bicky eyed him. "You meant that, about loving him? Seems weird, two guys and all. I didn't think you could, ya know, care for someone like a guy does a girl."
"How do you feel about Cal?" Dee asked.
Bicky blushed, suspicious, thinking that Dee might be making fun of him. "I love her. It's a really strong thing. I knew it when I first saw her, that she was always going to be my girl."
Dee nodded. "That's the way I felt when I first saw Ryo. I knew he was going to be mine. I knew that I loved him and that I'd die without him."
"That why you want to get rid of me, so you can have Ryo all to yourself?" Bicky wondered harshly. "I heard ya talking this morning. I know you want to send me to Juvie. That's another reason I took off. Nobody is sending me there!"
"Bicky...," Dee thought his words through for once. "How would you feel if Cal wanted me to live with her, platonically of course, and, every time you went to hug Cal or tried to do the dirty tango, I showed up and stopped you? I know she's not as shy as Ryo, but just pretend that she is. Pretend that, like Ryo, she's so shy and inhibited that she can't do ANYTHING when she thinks someone might be there to hear, a someone who constantly reminds her that he IS there. How long do you think your relationship would last? How long do you think you could take it before you demanded that she get rid of me? What would you do if she refused?"
Bicky stared.
"That's the situation I'm in right now, Bicky," Dee continued as they checked the tenth ally way and found nothing. "Ryo loves you. Ryo wants to raise you and be your Mother... God! Don't ever tell him I said that, but it's true. He wants me to be your father. He thinks life will be perfect if we can just be the little family he wants."
"Ain't going to happen!" Bicky retorted. "I hate you!"
"I hate you, too!" Dee snapped back, but then went on. "But we both love Ryo. We both want him to be ours, just ours." Bicky's eyes went wide and Dee knew that he had hit the mark. "We both want the other to go to Hell and get out of our way. That ain't going to happen, not if we want Ryo to keep loving us."
"What're you saying, stupid?" Bicky demanded.
"I'm saying that we pretend to get along so we can at least have half of Ryo," Dee explained. "Half is better than none and right now... we have none. I say we stop making Ryo miserable, stop insulting each other... well, most of the time, and try and be the happy family that Ryo wants. That means no more running off to the slums every chance you get, no more stealing, no more con games, and no more interrupting me and Ryo when I'm trying to 'get some'. That's the price I'm putting on my half. I'm going to have to act like your father and you're going to have to respect that. Talk to Ryo or me again like you did this morning and Juvie will seem like paradise. Got that?"
Bicky glared, the perfect street rat. "What do I get for my half?"
"Time with Cal when you want it and less strict rules when I can manage it," Dee replied. "I'll give you an allowance, too, so you won't have to steal for spending money." Dee eyed him. "If I catch you spending it on gambling or drugs, I'll skip Juvie and send you straight to cell block A, got that?"
Bicky pursed his lips and didn't look convinced. "I can get all of that right now. I don't have to make any deals with you."
"You're wrong," Dee told him. "I'm a cop, remember, and Ryo is too. I know you belong in Juvie right now. I can put you there and , if I remind Ryo of the law and his duty, he'll have to agree with me. He'll be sad. He might even get angry with me, but I won't let you twist him around your finger any longer!"
"His keepers at last!" A voice said with relief.
Bicky and Dee looked up, startled, to see a woman in a house dress leaning out of her first floor window and watching the street.
"You looking for an angel in the wrong part of town, boys?"
"Ryo?" Dee ventured, not sure of the woman's mental state. When the woman nodded, Dee felt his heart skip a beat. "Where is he?"
"Hi, Ms. Darla!" Bicky called to the woman. She frowned at him.
"Bicky! It's you that nice, young man was looking for! I should tan your hide!" She motioned to them briskly. "Get up here and collect him. I told him you'd probably be showing up with my grandson, Randel, sooner or later, to snitch cookies."
Bicky blushed. "Yes, ma'am. I was with Randel earlier, but I ran into stup-, uh, Dee before I could get back to him."
"Dee?" the woman brightened. "You're that guy he was trying to call! Come on, now. I said get up here!"
Relieved, Bicky and Ryo took the stairs two at a time and hurried into the woman's apartment. Neat and clean with hardwood floors and a stitched rug of blue on the floor, it was filled with laughing children playing with a pale, tall figure sitting on the floor.
Jax, Dee saw. Ryo was merrily playing jax while a toddler was sitting in his lap and sucking her thumb. He had a smile on his face and he was obviously enjoying himself. The other children were gathered close and shrieks and giggles punctuated each successful grab of the scattered metal jax as the ball bounced.
Dee leaned against the door jam and sighed, his heart settling back to its rightful place in his chest and his constant fear for Ryo slipping away to be replaced by love and wonder. Ryo did look like an angel, beautiful face glowing under a fall of sunlight tinted hair.
"You're friends are here," Miss Darla announced as she joined them.
Ryo looked up and exploded off of the floor to take hold of Bicky. He gripped Bicky's shoulders and looked into his blue eyes. "Bicky! I was so worried! I looked every where for you. Please, I am so sorry that I slapped you. Please forgive me and come back home."
Home. That word registered clearly with Bicky and Dee saw the boy swallow hard. Maybe he had never thought of Ryo's apartment as his home until that moment. "So'kay," he said gruffly. "Yeah, let's go home, Ryo. Sorry about worrying you... just had to do some thinking, I guess."
Dee cleared his throat. Bicky glared at him, understanding what Dee wanted. It was hard, but he was beginning to understand that love didn't come for free and it couldn't be stolen and taken for granted. He had to give some of it back.
"Uh, sorry about what I said, about Dee, earlier," Bicky mumbled. "It was stupid."
Ryo smiled and hugged Bicky before the boy squirmed, embarrassed, away from him.
"Hey! Don't get all mooshy on me! Let's get out of here and get some food! I'm starving!"
Bicky was out of the apartment before Ryo could turn and thank Ms. Darla. Dee followed.
"Thanks, Bicky. Didn't hurt too bad did it, apologizing, I mean?" Dee said.
Bicky shrugged in his coat and dug his hands into the pockets as they descended the stairs. "Maybe you should try it and see."
"Hm?"
"You were going to turn me over to Juvie this morning."
Dee sighed. "Okay, sorry."
"Woos!" Bicky grinned.
"Hey! You little-"
"Thank you for finding him, Dee," Ryo said from behind Dee's back as Bicky laughed and took off for the car at a taunting run.
"Yeah, well... he was on the way," Dee replied.
"On the way?"
"To finding you," Dee explained and took hold of Ryo's hand. He pulled the man close to him, ignoring the people passing by. He gave Ryo a long kiss. Ryo blushed to the roots of his hair and looked down in embarrassment when Dee broke the kiss. "Let's go home, Angel. We have unfinished business."
Ryo looked up then, puzzled. "What business?" Dee's warm, passionate gaze made him blush again. "Bicky will be there."
"Bicky is always going to be there," Dee replied and Ryo was startled hearing the deeper meaning in Dee's voice.
"Yes, he is," Ryo breathed. "I guess... I guess I have to get used to that."
Dee nodded as he led Ryo down to the car. Bicky was already lounging in the back, the car radio blaring. As Dee slid into the driver's side and snatched off the parking ticket from the windshield, and Ryo slipped into the passenger side, he chuckled at the picture they must have made. They weren't a happy family, but they were a family, and that's something he had never had before. Maybe it was worth the interrupted moments with Ryo, the fights, the worry, and the irritation to have this... a feeling of belonging, a home to go to, and love. A family. Dee began to think that it was.
****Owari****
Review me please, I need the attention!!!! :)