Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Fake. I just do this because I want to, so there, nyah!
Warning: Male/Male sex, angst, sex, angst, more sex, language, graphic sex... did I mention sex?
I should just tell him.
Dee bent Ryo over the chair, stroking him along his flanks and over his ass with large, calloused hands. Ryo sighed.
Why can't I just tell him?
Dee's kisses followed his hands. His tongue flicked out and Ryo blushed furiously and twitched in acute embarrassment as a tender spot was touched and caressed with the tip of that devil tongue.
Dee would listen. Just tell him.
Dee bent Ryo further over the chair until Ryo's nose almost touched the carpet. Ryo put his hands down to brace himself, tightening and shivering as that tongue found deeper access.
I like this. No, I don't! That's the problem It's- It's .... sickssssooo good!
Ryo let out an involuntary moan. Dee chuckled, knowing that he was winning.
Ryo tried to control himself. He bit his lips and thought about the dust under the bed he was facing. It definitely needed a cleaning under there. The little hand held vacuum would do the job nicely.
Tell him! Now!
Dee's tongue thrust in, wet, hot, and raspy. Ryo gasped and jerked on the chair, his fingers gripping the carpet as he let out a very long, low moan. God! That felt- That was so incredible! It-It was sick! He couldn't let this go on! It was one thing to let another man put his... in his... but, for Dee to do this with his tongue, after he had just taken his pleasure there, to taste himself and Ryo, and to sigh in appreciation as if it were a fine wine, turned Ryo's stomach.
"Dee," Ryo managed to force out.
"Yeah," Dee chuckled. "Moan my name, Baby!"
Tell him!
Dee's tongue swirled and his big hand took hold of Ryo's dripping erection. When he began a swirl and thrust motion with his incredible tongue and a smooth jerking off motion with his hand, Ryo forgot words. He writhed and panted in ecstasy. When he came, white and hot over Dee's hand and down his own belly, he cried out. It wasn't in disgust, but in sheer pleasure.
Sitting up on the chair while Dee settled cross legged on the floor, Ryo tried to catch his breath. Dee smiled up at him sensuously, enjoying Ryo's flushed beauty. He wiped a thumb along his mouth and then put that thumb inside, swirling it with his tongue. Ryo cringed. He found himself standing up, legs shaky, unable to think about what Dee had just done to him. He needed a shower. He felt dirty. Why couldn't he tell Dee to stop? Why?
"You're awfully quiet," Dee noticed, looking over his newspaper at Ryo. He held a muffin in one hand, speaking around a mouthful of it as his green eyes tried to fathom what was wrong with his partner.
A perfect opening. Ryo took a breath to say it as he stared down at his own muffin, buttering it far more than it needed, taking his time with the butter knife to give himself an excuse not to look at Dee. What he said, though, wasn't what he was thinking. "It's good that Bicky and Cal have gone away for a week. That school trip to Washington D.C. will teach them a lot about-"
"Ryo," Dee prompted and Ryo looked up at Dee with his wide, dark eyes. "I wanted to know if something was wrong with you. I didn't ask about Cal and Bicky."
Ryo shrugged as he put muffin and butter knife on his plate. He wiped his fingers on his napkin. Without something to do now, he nervously brushed his bronze hair out of his eyes and tried to say what was on his mind again. "It's good that we have the time together to... talk."
"We can talk any time," Dee replied with a smirk. "It's getting together that's always the problem with Bicky and Cal around. I intend to take full advantage of this time alone, Ryo. I'm going to show you things you never dreamed of. I'm going to make you feel so good you're going to wish that Bicky-"
"Dee," Ryo interrupted, blushing.
"Baby?"
Looking into Dee's eyes, the words stuck in Ryo's throat. It wasn't just about lust, he saw, Dee wanted to show him the heights of passion and his love for him. To tell him that he, Ryo, didn't want to do the things he had planned... Ryo was afraid that Dee was going to be hurt and disappointed.
"We're going to be late," Ryo said lamely.
Dee frowned, sensing something. "Okay," he replied, giving up for the moment, maybe thinking that Ryo was just in one of his 'moods'. "Let's get going then." He leaned over the table to give Ryo a kiss.
Ryo recoiled and stood up quickly.
"What...?" Dee was mystified, standing now too.
"You, uh, haven't brushed your teeth yet," Ryo replied with a nervous laugh. "You're breath has stale smoke on it."
"Sorry," Dee said, obviously suspicious and not understanding why Ryo would complain about something that had never seemed to bother him before. "I'll go brush and then we'll go."
"I'll- I'll clear the table." Ryo grabbed a few plates and hurried into the kitchen. Once there, he put the things into the sink so quickly the plates almost broke. He leaned against the counter, his knuckles white. When Dee had gone to kiss him, all Ryo had been able to think about was the night before. He felt dirty again. He almost wished that he could take another shower. Instead, he settled for washing his hands.
"Thanks, Baby," Dee took the coffee Ryo handed him as he scowled at the reports on his desk.
Ryo went to sit gingerly across from him at his own desk. He fiddled with his computer. Around them, the hustle and bustle of the station was a din they had grown used to long ago. It didn't intrude on them. They might as well have been alone.
"Forensics found something interesting on victim three," Dee announced as he flipped pages of the report. "Fish remains."
"Fish?" Ryo raised eyebrows as he sipped at his tea. "The wharf, maybe?"
"Maybe," Dee replied and then sat back in his chair, chewing on the end of his pencil. He suddenly looked up at Ryo intently. "Are you going to tell me or not?"
Ryo blinked in confusion. "Nani?"
Dee sighed and threw down the pencil. It bounced on top of the reports and rolled. "Ryo, I've seen babies with better poker faces. If something is bothering you, just spit it out."
Ryo couldn't have asked for a better opening. He began to speak, but then looked around them at their fellow officers. No, he couldn't tell Dee where just anyone could hear. He still wasn't completely comfortable with everyone knowing that he and Dee were a couple.
"I'll tell you at home," Ryo replied in a small voice.
Dee frowned. "We were at home. You didn't say anything there."
"I will," Ryo assured him nervously. "I-I just couldn't- I just needed time to think what to say to you."
Dee was becoming alarmed, Ryo saw. He was hurting the man already and he hadn't even told him yet. "Ryo," Dee said anxiously. "If I've done something wrong, we need to talk about it now! Don't bottle it up until it gets ugly."
"It's not anything serious!" Ryo assured him. That was partly true. He wouldn't break up with Dee over it, but he could see himself avoiding sex even more than he already did. If that happened... Ryo didn't want to think about the consequences of that. "We just need to..."
"Talk," Dee finished and didn't look comforted. He sighed and fiddled with his stack of reports. "Okay, I have a full load today. I guess this isn't the best time to talk about us. Maybe lunch?"
"Okay," Ryo replied tensely.
"Ryo."
Ryo looked up at Dee's serious green eyes.
"I'm a jerk sometimes, but I love you. You know that," Dee said. "I'll do anything for you, make anything right that I've done wrong. You just have to tell me."
"Okay," Ryo replied in a small voice, feeling foolish suddenly. Was it so terrible, what Dee had done to him? It had felt good, he couldn't deny it. Dee always made him feel good.
Ryo recalled Dee's hot tongue delving deep. He blushed and then went a little green. It might have felt good, but Ryo couldn't shrug off the notion that it was filthy and wrong. He still couldn't bring himself to kiss Dee. No, maybe it was foolish, but Ryo couldn't go on letting Dee do things like that to him if he didn't like it. He would be spending all day and all night washing his hands and taking showers if he allowed it.
"Baby?" Dee said at last, really concerned now.
Ryo looked away. "Lunch... We'll talk about it at lunch."
They sat in Dee's car in the parking garage, eating sandwiches, Dee drinking soda and Ryo drinking juice. The doors were closed, the radio playing an easy listening tune. Ryo kept his eyes on his sandwich and Dee stared out at the comings and goings of the garage as he ate his with gusto.
Finishing at last, Dee wiped his mouth with a napkin and then tossed the napkin aside onto the floor. "Well?" he prompted.
Ryo picked up the napkin and gingerly pushed it into the bag their lunch had come in. "It was good."
Dee made an exasperated sound. "You know what I mean, Ryo." He half turned in the driver's seat, resting one arm on the steering wheel as he faced Ryo. "Out with it, Baby."
"Dee...," Ryo began, stopped, chewed on his bottom lip, and then started again. "Gomen nasai, Dee, oki ni nasarazu ni-"
"God! Japanese!" Dee groaned in anguish. "This must be bad if you're that upset!"
Ryo put a hand over his mouth, cleared his throat, and then tried one more time. "Dee, I need to talk to you about last night..."
Dee waited as Ryo paused for a long moment. "We only have an hour for lunch, Ryo, come on!" Dee prompted.
"I-I didn't like it!" Ryo blurted out, blushed, and then turned his face towards the window uncomfortably.
Dee was silent, thinking about his words, and then he replied, "I'll remember next time that moaning, shouting my name, and cuming all over the place means you don't like something, Ryo."
Ryo curled up reflexively as if he had been hit in the stomach. "I- It did make me feel good."
"I'm glad," Dee bit out, unable to hide his frustration.
"I-I just didn't LIKE it."
Dee's fingers touched Ryo's chin and then pulled Ryo's face around so that Ryo was looking at him. "I think you need to explain that," he said. "You know I'm not too good at figuring this stuff out on my own."
Ryo floundered. He felt frigid, inhibited, and selfish. Dee's eyes were all but accusing him of it, waiting for the words from Ryo that would confirm his opinion. Ryo struggled to explain. "It's... It's dirty... It makes me sick having you.... I don't even want to kiss you!"
Dee was hurt. He sat back, releasing Ryo's chin. He stared out at the parking garage again, scowling. Finally, he said, "Nothing about you, not any part of you, makes me sick, Ryo. I'm sorry if I went too far. You only had to tell me to stop." His frustration welled up then. "You never say anything, Ryo! You never tell me what you want! If I drag it out of you, maybe, but never, Dee I would really love it if you.. whatever, fill in the blank Ryo!"
Ryo swallowed hard. Dee was right. He was always too shy and embarrassed when they made love. He still couldn't get used to a man having him. It still troubled him even though he knew he never wanted anyone else, but Dee.
"Gomen, Dee, I'm sorry." Ryo sank down into his seat and looked back at the window hard. "I should have said something then."
"Yeah," Dee agreed grumpily, "and then I could have showed you that it's not dirty, that it's- it's just love, Ryo. You're such a- an innocent when it comes to your own body." Dee took Ryo's hand and squeezed tight. "I'm going to show you all the things that can make it feel good. Trust me. You'll stop all of this stupid, 'It's dirty' nonsense."
"Stupid?" Ryo was open mouthed as he shifted in his seat and stared at Dee in shock. His open mouth was covered with Dee's and a hot tongue curled around his.
Stop him!
Dee's hands slid under Ryo and cupped his round ass, squeezing and kneading as his tongue had sex with Ryo's mouth.
Not here ! Not where someone could just walk by!
Dee's hands slid to the front of Ryo's pants and he unzipped them.
Ryo's hand caught Dee's as it began to grope hungrily inside of Ryo's pants. Dee looked up at him, face flushed with desire. "What?" he choked out impatiently.
Ryo couldn't say anything. He struggled to find the words that wouldn't hurt Dee's feelings. Dee wasn't taking him seriously. He was, instead, doing what he always did, force Ryo to bend to his will, force Ryo to have pleasure no matter how he felt about how Dee accomplished it.
Dee smiled, slipped his hands under Ryo's hips again, and then pulled with a strong motion until Ryo slid down the seat underneath him. He claimed Ryo's mouth with his own again and began to slide Ryo's pants down his hips.
"Dee," Ryo gasped again and broke the kiss.
"What, Ryo?!" Dee demanded, panting now, almost to the point of not being able to stop.
"We don't have enough time," Ryo desperately pointed out. He pushed gently at Dee's chest. "Tonight, okay? Please?"
Dee let out a long breath. He sat up and brushed back his wild, dark bangs. "Promise?" he demanded petulantly, like a little boy.
"Yes," Ryo replied reluctantly. He zipped up his pants as he sat up. He looked around them nervously, but no one had noticed.
Dee saw Ryo's furtive look and his tension and understood. He adjusted his pants and then lit up a cigarette. After a long pull and an exhalation of smoke, he said, "Sorry. I know you don't like taking the chance of someone seeing us. It's just," he smiled at Ryo tenderly. "I just love you so much. I want you all the time. I can't help it and I don't care who knows about it."
"I love you too," Ryo replied. "I just...," Dee was looking at him with his love in his eyes. Ryo couldn't say it. He couldn't hurt Dee. "Tonight," Ryo repeated, not really making the promise that Dee wanted, but saying it more to himself. He needed more time to gather the courage, to think of the right words to convince Dee that he didn't like some aspects of sex and it wasn't just because of his inexperience. After Dee's loving speech about loving every part of him, it was going to be harder than ever to tell Dee that he didn't feel the same way.
"Of all the mumbo- jumbo, crap!" Dee exclaimed over the rim of his mug as he sipped hot coffee. "I have three interviews and I have an appointment with forensics. I don't have time for some quack psychologist to tell me that I'm bi because I'm trying to compensate for not having a mother or a father."
"Interesting," a woman's voice said from behind him. Dee swiveled in his chair, startled, to see a very tall, red headed woman looking down at him with a friendly smile. She was wearing a short red skirt and a three piece jacket that made her breasts pout through the unbuttoned top. "Have you had therapy before Mr...," she peered at the name plate on his desk, "Latener?"
"None of your business," Dee bristled.
"Well, I'm afraid it is," she replied and took on an official air as she began handing out papers to all of the detectives. When she handed Ryo his, she smiled very wide and her eyes sparkled.
Ryo blushed and looked down at the paper. "Psych exams?"
The woman nodded. "I'm sure you have all heard of the Reilly case? The officer went ballistic. The case is being dragged through court and public confidence is way down. The public needs to be reassured that we don't have a precinct full of officers ready to go ballistic as well. These exams are ordered, no exception. On that sheet of paper I just handed you, is a schedule with all of your names on it. You had better have a good reason if you don't show up. Otherwise, you can turn in your badge."
"Ms...?" Dee began
"Dr. Marcus," she corrected.
"Marcus," Dee echoed, purposefully trying to be irritating. "I have a multiple murder case. If I don't find the bad guy, more people are going to die. Is that a good enough excuse for you?"
That took her unprepared, but Dr. Marcus recovered quickly. "The exam doesn't take long. It's my discretion whether to have any follow up. I'll move you to the bottom of the list and you can see me before you leave for the day. Will that satisfy you, Mr. Latener?"
Dee bristled some more. "Detective Latener," he stressed, "and no, it doesn't satisfy me."
"We'll have to discuss that in your session," she replied evenly, adding as she turned to leave, "Maybe we can find out why you are unable to take direction and why you have an antagonistic attitude towards authority."
Dee swore under his breath. Dreig laughed from his desk. "What's the matter, Latener? Don't like a pretty woman pulling you around by the-"
"I'm first," Ryo cut in, still staring at the paper in his hands uncomfortably.
"I saw her making eyes at you, Ryo," Dreig teased. "Your session is going to be a long one, I think."
"Shut up!" Dee snapped. He looked at Ryo seriously. "Does it bother you, Baby? You look worried."
Ryo shook his head and managed a smile. "No, I'm not worried. I've just never been to a psychologist."
"I have. When I was in and out of Juvie, they kept trying to find out what made me so screwed up," Dee admitted bitterly. "They just didn't get that I did what I had to do to survive in the slums. They didn't like me being bi either. They kept telling me that not making a choice either way was denial. Idiots!" His expression softened then. "I did make a choice in the end though, when I met you. I guess you did too."
Ryo nodded thoughtfully, but knew it wasn't the same. Ryo had been lying to himself about being gay. He had denied it as long as possible, until Dee had stolen his heart and shown him what he really wanted.
Ryo's hands tightened on the paper in his hands, remembering how frightened he had been his first time with Dee, how his mind had cried that it was wrong, and sick, and against everything he had been taught. Dee had made that first time a revelation, a joy, and a pleasure; something he would remember his entire life.
"What's wrong, Baby?" Dee asked softly. "You're really beginning to worry me with your big sighs and long looks."
"Don't worry," Ryo replied simply, "It's nothing." Maybe it WAS nothing, he thought. Maybe he was being too inhibited.
Dee blinked and stood up. He leaned very close to Ryo, stretching his lanky frame over their desks. "Nothing? I'm a detective, Ryo. That means I actually pick up on the clues that tell me my lover isn't happy."
They were almost nose to nose now and Ryo swallowed hard.
"God! You're not going to kiss are you?" Dreig complained and turned away in disgust.
Dee glared at Dreig, annoyed, but then he looked back at Ryo and smiled sensuously. "Tonight." he said, reminding Ryo and making erotic promises with his eyes. "Tonight I'll make it all better, Baby. Trust me, okay?"
Ryo wondered what Dee had planned and his stomach twisted into knot. He checked his watch and then stood up, grasping at anything that would keep him from imagining some of the things that Dee might do to him next. "Uh, It's time for my appointment."
Dee sat back in his chair, frowning and not believing Ryo for a moment. "Okay, Ryo," he sighed, but then added, "Don't let that doctor intimidate you. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
Ryo pursed his lips and then replied as he turned away. "I do know my rights, Dee."
"Yeah, yeah," Dee called after him, "It's just exercising them that you have a problem with."
Ryo stiffened, but he didn't question that statement. It hit bullseye into the heart of his troubles and he wondered if Dee realized that.
Ryo checked the office number. He recognized it as belonging to another officer. When he knocked lightly, a muffled voice told him to enter. Opening the door, he found Dr. Marcus shuffling through files on her borrowed desk, photos of the owner's family staring at her from a corner.
Shyly, Ryo moved to stand in front of her, waiting patiently. When she finally looked up, she smiled and said, "You're early. Usually people aren't so enthusiastic. Have a seat."
Ryo lowered himself gingerly into the chair next to him. She noticed and she tried to reassure him. "I'm not going to ask you about your personal life, so relax," she said soothingly. "This all about your job, uh," she looked down at a paper in front of her, "Detective McLain... do you mind if I call you Randy?"
"Yes," Ryo replied.
The Dr. arched an eyebrow. "Yes, you do mind?"
Ryo became flustered. "Uh, no, ma'am, I- Everyone calls me Ryo. That's what I meant. You can call me Ryo."
"Ryo," she smiled again. "Nice name. Japanese?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'm Japanese American."
Her eyes narrowed at Ryo's fair looks, but she didn't comment on his near absence of oriental features. "Okay, Ryo, I'm going to ask you some straight forward questions about your job and I need you to answer them without thinking about them. Just tell me the first thing that pops into your head whether you think it's... uh, dumb or not."
"All right."
Dr. Marcus poised a pen over the contents of a file, made a mark, and then asked without looking up, quick and precise, "How do you feel about guns?"
Ryo paused and blinked.
Dr. Marcus said, still not looking at him, "Quickly, Ryo. Don't think about the answer. They aren't trick questions. I want your first and honest response."
"Dangerous. I don't like using them," Ryo replied with a flush of nervousness.
"Good," the Dr. said with a pleased tone and then began to write as she launched into the next question immediately. "Do you advocate subduing suspects by any means necessary?"
"No, that's uncalled for," Ryo replied with a disapproving frown. "Suspects are just that. You might have the wrong man."
"If a criminal is uncooperative in an interrogation, would you ever resort to unusual means to obtain that information?"
"No, never."
"Even if it could save someone's life?"
"Never," Ryo repeated forcefully.
"Do you like your Chief?"
"He's a dedicated man."
"Do you like him?"
"Yes." Ryo blushed and Dr. Marcus flicked an appraising look at him.
"Do you like the Commissioner?"
Ryo blushed even harder. "He runs the precinct-"
"Do you like him, Ryo?"
Ryo squirmed in his seat. "Yes."
"Do you sometimes feel resentful?"
"Yes," Ryo replied quickly and then choked.
"You do?"
"No," Ryo corrected. "No, I don't."
"Do you think that you work too many hours?"
"It's necessary."
"Do you think that you aren't getting paid enough?"
"Sometimes."
"Do you feel that, sometimes, your job is pointless or that you aren't appreciated by people for what you do?"
"No."
"Do you resent your partner?"
"Yes."
"You do?" Dr. Marcus looked up then, curious.
Ryo was alarmed now. Why had he said that?!
Dr. Marcus flipped through Ryo's file and then nodded in understanding. "Dee Latener is your partner, I see. Makes sense."
"Nani?" Ryo breathed, hardly able to work the word out past his lips.
"Ryo," Dr. Marcus began and steepled her fingers thoughtfully. "I'm not really supposed to step outside the bounds outlined for me by my superiors, but, if I may make a comment, it seems to me that you are far too willing to tell me what you think will make people happy than what you really think. You don't seem to have the personality to be a detective; to work on homicides and collar criminals. You're probably under a great deal of stress, trying to be true to a rather peaceful personality while at the same time, perhaps, struggling to seem like one of the guys and to show toughness that may not be in your nature. You're partner is an outgoing, obnoxious character. You resent him. You are probably afraid to tell him what you think. I'm certain a man like that is probably taking full advantage of you. Am I right?"
Ryo couldn't reply.
Dr. Marcus softened. "It's all right, Ryo, Dr. /Client privilege. Dee Latener won't find out about anything you say here."
"I thought that you said this was supposed to be about work," Ryo finally forced out and then turned red to his ears, wishing he hadn't said that at all.
Dr. Marcus looked puzzled only briefly and then she looked disappointed. "Guess I won't be getting a date tonight, then."
Ryo covered his mouth with one hand and hunkered down into his chair.
"You're uncomfortable with me knowing," Dr. Marcus observed. "Don't be. The only comment I'll make is that it's always bad to have relations with someone you work with. You should see into getting transferred to another dept. or getting another partner."
"All right," Ryo mumbled.
"All right?" Dr. Marcus echoed with a snort. "Things must be pretty bad between you two. You didn't even argue! We still have some time left over. Want to talk about it?"
"It's very personal," Ryo replied, wishing that he could sink through the floor and disappear.
Dr. Marcus propped her chin on one hand and leaned her elbow on the desk top as she studied Ryo. "You don't have to tell me. I can probably guess. Let's see... Dee keeps making you do things you don't want to do. You love him so much that you don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him to stop, back off, let you do what you want to do for once. He probably even makes you feel guilty about it."
"How-"
Dr. Marcus smiled at Ryo's consternation. "Dee's a classic obnoxious, full of himself, selfish, egotistical... well, I've seen this situation enough times to recognize it when it's in front of me."
Ryo stared down at the floor, unsure what to say. "He never listens," he said at last in a small voice. "I don't like some of the things he does... I told him, but, he just..."
"Made it your problem and did them anyway?"
Was going to do them, Ryo thought sourly, that night, if he didn't say anything.
"Can I give you some advice?" Dr. Marcus wondered gently.
"Yes."
"If you don't tell him now, you are going to be a very miserable man, Ryo McLain," Dr. Marcus told him. "If he doesn't listen, if he WON'T listen, then I think you might begin to question whether he really loves you or not."
"He does," Ryo retorted, and then even more strongly, "I know he does. I won't doubt that, ever."
"Then he won't mind being told how you feel," Dr. Marcus pointed out. "Be assertive. You might even consider turning the tables on him and showing him what it's like being told what to do. That man has probably never experienced that before, am I right?"
"Not with me," Ryo admitted.
"People like Latener," Dr. Marcus explained, "often don't respond to words very well. Sometimes, you have to teach by example."
"I couldn't...," Ryo blushed furiously and stood up. "Thank you, Dr. Marcus. Is there- Are there any more questions?"
"No," she replied with a smile. "You aren't the aggressive on the edge type I'm looking for. Unfortunately, your partner is."
"You won't...," Ryo didn't know how to ask it.
"I won't ask him about your relationship unless he wants to talk about it, so relax," Dr. Marcus replied. "He doesn't strike me as a man who would do that. He appears to have a rather large ego. I'm certain he thinks everything is fine between you two."
She was so perceptive. Ryo didn't know what he replied, only that it was probably nonsense. She had deeply disturbed him by making him confront the fact that he had been avoiding for too long, that how Dee treated him was wrong.
Leaving the office in a daze, Ryo didn't return to his desk right away. Instead, he went to the break room and made himself some tea. He needed time to pull himself back together and to think about what Dr. Marcus had said.
Turn the tables on Dee? Make him uncomfortable for once? Ryo didn't think that he had the capacity or the knowledge to make Dee Latener uncomfortable. The man was completely uninhibited and he very much liked to be in control. He wouldn't give it up without a fight.
Dee came rushing into the break room in concern. He took hold of Ryo's arm and pulled him close. "I saw you head this way. Are you all right, Baby? If she messed with you-"
"I'm fine," Ryo quickly assured Dee. It made his heart ache the way Dee was always ready to come to his rescue. He loved that strong, masculine part of Dee, yet it was strange that a man so concerned for him and so loving could completely fail to understand him. "My throat was just dry from talking."
"Oh," Dee calmed down. "What did she ask you?"
"Standard questions," Ryo replied offhandedly as he buried his nose into his mug of tea, sipping cautiously. "Nothing tricky or out of the ordinary."
"Good." Dee slid his arm around Ryo's waist and pulled him closer. When they were touching, Ryo's slim body pressed up against Dee's lanky frame, Dee slid his hand down to Ryo's ass and squeezed as he smiled into Ryo's eyes. When that hand slid between Ryo's legs from behind, Ryo broke away, almost spilling is tea.
"Dee!"
"What?" Dee's smile turned impish.
"You can be so crude some times!" It popped out of Ryo's mouth. Mortified, he quickly turned away, almost running for the door to keep Dee from questioning him about that statement. It wasn't until he was back at his desk and sitting down that Dee finally followed him.
Dee was frowning at his partner, trying to figure him out with torturous care. He finally sighed in exasperation as he picked up his car keys, dismissing Ryo's mood as undecipherable for the moment. They had a case to work. "We have an interview to go to. Let's get going."
"Interesting, Detective Latener," Dr. Marcus said as she shuffled papers back into his file. "I especially found interesting your answer to the interrogation question. I hadn't expected , 'Twist his balls off if I have to.'
Dee was glaring, sunk into his chair with his arms crossed defensively over his chest. "Yeah, well, I'm exaggerating. Don't get your skirt in a bind over it."
Dr. Marcus narrowed her eyes at Dee. "Why don't I believe you?"
Dee shrugged and gave her a smirk.
"You like annoying me, don't you?" Dr. Marcus asked.
"Yeah, kind of fun."
"You think it makes you in control of the situation."
"Huh?"
Dr. Marcus steepled her fingers. "You like being 'in control', don't you?"
"I suppose I do." Dee sat up, sensing trouble. "Are we done now, or what?"
"A moment more. Relax." Dr. Marcus told him softly. "I still haven't asked you about your partner, Ryo McLain."
Dee scowled. "What about him? I thought none of this was personal."
"It isn't. This is entirely professional," Dr. Marcus reassured him. She pulled out Ryo's file and began flipping through it. "Sharpshooter. Awards. Commendations. A hefty list of closed cases. Ryo McLain was an excellent, by the book officer, until he met you."
"He still is!" Dee snarled back.
Dr. Marcus raised an eyebrow. "He has had several reports filed against him, all having something to do with you. You have been a bad influence Detective Latener. Looking at Ryo's record I expected him to be a strong personality. I was surprised to find him a gentle, shy, introvert who couldn't, like everyone else did today, tell me that your Chief makes him angry, that the Commissioner is overbearing, or that he even works too many hours. I think you've had a lot to do with this change in personality."
"Hey, wait a minute!" Dee exploded as he stood up. "I didn't change Ryo. He's always been a sweet guy. Ask anybody!"
"That may be true, but, " Dr. Marcus tapped Ryo's file. "The person who's in these records, didn't allow that sweet nature to let someone convince him to break the rules. There is at least five cases of that right in front of me, Dee Latener."
Dee gripped the edge of the desk and leaned towards her angrily, dark hair falling into his intense green eyes. "Are you saying I get Ryo into trouble?"
Dr. Marcus leaned back from Dee, but she wasn't intimidated. "I'm saying that you are a strong personality and Ryo is unable to do his duty as your partner because of it. You and your overbearing attitude have made him too timid to argue with you. He is unable to tell you when you're wrong. He can't keep you from doing something, not only unwise, but completely against law enforcement code." She closed the file. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to recommend, not only that you attend several sessions of sensitivity training and submit to a more extensive psychological exam with follow up, but that Ryo McLain be reassigned with someone else."
Dee's mouth lowly opened in disbelief. His eyes narrowed. "You don't know me. You don't know Ryo. To Hell with you and your damned-"
"I can have your badge, Detective," Dr. Marcus cut in, "but I'm giving you a chance instead, a chance I shouldn't even be entertaining. Turn yourself around by your next appointment with me. If you can prove to my satisfaction that you're willing to work with Ryo instead of dominate him, follow orders instead of making up your own, and refrain from antagonizing and intimidating both your fellow officers and your suspects, I'll let things stand as they are. If you can't, I have to come down on you hard. That's the job I've been given, Detective Latener; weed out trouble makers. Unlike you, I follow my orders. You're dismissed."
The apartment seemed suddenly too small. Dee sat on the edge of the couch, hands clasped between his knees and body tense. They had driven home in silence and eaten dinner in silence. That silence was beginning to wear on them both. It was Ryo who cracked first.
"She made you angry," a statement of fact from Ryo as he sat on the couch next to Dee.
Dee sighed and ground his cigarette out into an ashtray. "That's an understatement."
"What-What did she say?" Ryo wondered.
"Oh, just a load of psycho babble and orders to clean up my act." Dee looked sideways at Ryo curiously. "You?"
Ryo fidgeted, picking up the remote to the television and then putting it down again. "Standard questions. I'm sure she asked you the same ones."
Dee frowned. "She seemed to know a lot about you. Are you sure-"
Ryo stood up sharply, alarmed. "She said that she wouldn't say anything!"
Dee raised eyebrows. "Say what?"
Ryo swallowed hard. "I- Nothing."
"Sit down, Baby," Dee said and patted the couch. Ryo sank down heavily, looking at the hands he clasped together nervously in his lap. "Why are you afraid to tell me what you're thinking?" Dee wondered.
"I'm not."
"Now you're lying." Dee was suddenly angry. "What do you think I'm going to do, Ryo, hate you because you tell me I'm an idiot sometimes? We should be way past stuff like this! We've been partners for years."
"I," Ryo struggled. "I don't want to hurt you, okay?"
Dee rubbed his chin thoughtfully, staring at Ryo's beautiful, troubled face. "I guess that doctor was right about something."
Ryo looked up then. "Nani?"
Dee gripped Ryos's arms and pulled him in close. "I'm obnoxious, overbearing, and I don't like authority. You're 'by the book', detail oriented, and you follow orders. We are perfect partners. We balance each other out. At least we do if you have the courage to tell me when I'm ... I'm..."
"Wrong?" Ryo finished. Dee could only nod. Ryo grew pensive. "When we weren't, uh, lovers, it was easy to tell you things. Now... I love you so much, Dee! I don't want anything to happen to that."
Dee's grip tightened. "If you foul up a case, if somebody gets hurt or dies, because you don't tell me I'm wrong about something, I think I will hate you, Ryo. Understand? I became a cop for a reason and so did you. People depend on us to get the bad guys." Dee released Ryo and gave him a firm look. "Now, tell me what I'm wrong about. You're a detective. Act like one."
Ryo wet dry lips. Dee meant what he said. It was comforting. It gave Ryo confidence. "I- I don't think that..."
"What?" Dee prompted.
"The Chief told us to stay clear of Marty Halmark," Ryo blurted out. "I think you should listen to him."
"No," Dee replied.
Ryo blinked.
Dee smiled. "I didn't say I would listen all the time, Ryo. Sometimes, you and the Chief are wrong too. Marty Halmark seems to have an airtight alibi, but I think, if I follow him long enough, he'll slip up. He's the only person who has a motive."
"Oh," Ryo replied and looked down at his lap again.
"Well?"
Ryo looked up, confused.
"Argue with me," Dee prompted in exasperation. "Make your point as to why I shouldn't follow him."
"The Chief thinks that pursuing Marty will make him go underground," Ryo replied softly. "He thinks we should let him go free. Once he relaxes, then he'll more likely make a mistake."
"Okay, that makes sense to me," Dee replied. "I'll lay off for now." He smiled at Ryo. "See, Baby? Give and take. A healthy argument. Every body has those. It doesn't mean we hate each other or that we'll break up over it. That's called respect."
Ryo nodded and smiled back, relaxing. For once, Dee wasn't running over him and ignoring what he was saying. Dee also wasn't getting angry or defensive at Ryo's criticism. He was accepting it. Ryo was suddenly grateful to Dr. Marcus. She had obviously said something powerful enough to make Dee listen to her.
"Anything else?" Dee wondered.
"Well, I think you totally misinterpreted the forensics report today," Ryo bravely told Dee. "It didn't say fish remains. It said tuna and small bones."
Dee scowled. "That's not fish remains?"
"No," Ryo replied, faltering a little, and then plunging on. "He could have fallen on a tuna sandwich. You're always making wild assumptions not supported by hard facts."
Dee chuckled. "It's called a hunch, Ryo. But, okay, I guess tuna and bones isn't very descriptive. I'll talk to forensics in the morning and have them clarify it."
"There's also-" Ryo started as Dee put a gentle hand over his mouth.
"Save it," Dee told him. He lowered the hand and let it slide around Ryo's waist. He pulled his lover in close. "We aren't at work. This is our personal time. Let's take advantage of it."
Ryo's heart sank. He had forgotten all about his promise.
"Let's try the same thing we did last night," Dee murmured in Ryo's ear as he licked the delicate lobe. "This time, we'll go slow. I'll show you that it's not dirty. You're body loved it. We just have to get your mind to agree with your body."
Ryo cringed. He almost gave in. He almost braced himself to do whatever it took to make Dee happy. It was Dr. Marcus's words, suddenly popping into his head, that made him gather courage and push Dee off. He didn't like what Dee intended to do to him. If Dee refused to understand that than what sort of relationship did they have?
"I don't want to do that. I don't like it," Ryo said and then held his breath, waiting for Dee to respond.
Dee was exasperated. "Ryo, if you just let me show you-"
"No!" Ryo barked and then flushed and half turned away. "No," he repeated softer. "I don't ever want you to do that again."
"Ryo!"
Ryo crossed his arms over his chest and hunkered like a wall, trying to stay strong. "I'm telling you what I think. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yeah, but...," Dee sighed and then touched Ryo on the arm, deciding to be honest. "Okay. That doctor told me I was making you a bad cop, that I was making you afraid to question me. I didn't want to believe it, but facts are facts. You didn't get any reports written on you until you became my partner. It's been getting worse too. She- well, she told me we shouldn't be partners any more. She told me that, if you didn't show signs of being more assertive, she was going to find you someone better for you, someone who doesn't intimidate you so much."
Ryo was shocked. "You don't intimidate me!"
Dee was startled. "But, I thought..."
"I love you!" Ryo replied. "I didn't want to hurt you or make you hate me. That doesn't mean that you intimidate me. I'm not afraid of you Dee Latener."
Dee felt the moment. He grabbed it. "Prove it," he demanded.
Ryo was confused. "How, by punching you?"
Dee scowled. "No! I'm always the guy forcing you to have sex. Now you tell me you don't like that. Okay, why don't you force me for once? Show me what you like, Ryo. I'm tired of guessing."
Ryo became nervous. "Dr. Marcus suggested that. I-I wasn't sure if I could- If I can."
Dee raised eyebrows. "I guess I'll have to apologize for calling her a quack. She seems to be helping us a lot." Dee leaned back into the couch and opened his arms to Ryo. "I think she's absolutely right, Ryo, you need to be the guy on top for once. I'll just relax here and enjoy it, okay?"
Ryo blushed.
Dee sighed. "No, don't do that! Don't get all embarrassed and frigid on me! Jump me, Ryo. Show me I don't intimidate you... " He paused and then smiled, knowing suddenly what to say. "Show me how much you love me, Ryo."
Ryo brightened and his blush receded. That he could do. Loving Dee was easy. "Let's... Let's go into the bedroom." He grabbed Dee's broad hand and pulled him up with him off of the couch. Dee chuckled as Ryo lead him into the bedroom.
Dee sprawled onto the bed as Ryo undressed. He watched his lover slowly reveal his beautiful body and Dee felt himself grow hard all at once. It bothered him that Ryo wasn't in the same state. Ryo was still too nervous. Dee suppressed the urge to reach out and bring Ryo to life. It was different, being submissive, waiting to see what Ryo would do with him. Was this how Ryo felt? Loving, needy, but feeling a twinge of trepidation? Dee didn't like it.
Ryo settled on the bed and tentatively reached out and began undressing Dee. Dee kept still, allowing it, liking the feel of Ryo's fingers slowly moving down his chest as he undid one button of his shirt after another. When Ryo laid the shirt open, he stared at Dee's washboard torso like a starving man seeing a feast.
Suddenly, Ryo leaned down and took hold of Dee's nipple. He sucked it and ran his tongue roughly over it. Dee gasped in pleasure. It was one of the few things that Ryo did when they made love and he was good at it. It made Dee as hard as a rock.
"The-The pants," Dee managed. They were too tight now and it was painful.
Ryo didn't stop sucking as his soft hands undid Dee's pants. Dee could feel the heat of embarrassment on Ryo's cheeks when the man reached inside and freed Dee's cock. He stroked it unmercifully, playing with the precum that oozed out of the slit.
"Hmm, Baby!" Dee groaned.
Ryo smiled nervously against Dee's chest and then released Dee's tormented nipple. He sat up. Dee began to reach for Ryo's cock, erect and needy now, but Ryo inched away and Dee remembered he was supposed to be submissive. He forced himself to lay back again, really hating it now. He wanted to devour Ryo, throw him onto his back, and... Ryo released his cock and it slapped against Dee's belly.
"I like...," Ryo began and then paused, staring down at Dee's cock.
Dee's eyes were glazed over with passion. It was all he could do to hold himself still. "What, Baby, what do you like?"
"I like it simple. I like tenderness and kisses," Ryo replied huskily. "I don't want to feel like I'm in a- a porn movie."
"Show me what you like," Dee urged him.
"I like to love you," Ryo said and then he punctuated that by running a tongue along Dee's cock. Dee twitched and groaned. "I like tasting this part of you. It's not dirty. It's not wrong. It's you. It's what gives you the most pleasure. Let me- Let me give you pleasure."
Ryo swallowed Dee's cock whole.
"Oh, my God!" Dee bucked and buried his hands into Ryo's honey hair. Ryo expertly deep throated him and used his tongue like a tickling, rasping, tool of torment. When Ryo began a tight rhythm up and down Dee's cock with his mouth, it didn't take Dee long to shoot his load. Ryo avoided it, but continued to jerk Dee off with his hand until Dee stopped him, gasping and panting in ecstasy.
Dee dipped a finger into his cum and brought it to Ryo's lips. Ryo smiled and shook his head. He took Dee's finger and brought it to Dee's mouth. Dee avoided it to with a frown.
"If you won't, why should I?" Ryo asked softly.
"I thought..." Dee recalled Ryo doing it before. The man had been in the throws of passion though and Dee had taken full advantage of that. In fact, he thought guiltily, he always took advantage of that moment when Ryo's barriers were at their lowest.
Dee reached over to the nightstand and picked up the tube of lube there. Ryo eyed it. "You or me?" Dee asked, offering what he really didn't want to offer. Ryo was a virgin when it came to that and Dee hadn't been on the bottom since he was a teenager. It was going to hurt and his masculinity was putting up its hackles already.
For a moment, Dee felt that Ryo would back off, and he was glad, but Ryo firmed his chin and took the lube from Dee. "You," he replied shakily.
Dee didn't think that Ryo had the libido for it. The man looked white now and his cock was reacting to his embarrassment. It surprised Dee when he said, "She's not going to separate us. When we go in tomorrow, we're going to be equals. This-This is part of it. We are both men. If you- If you're always on top, I'll always feel like-like...," like his submissive fuck, Dee finished in his head, but Ryo couldn't say that out loud.
"It's all right," Dee said, and didn't mean that at all, but he was willing to do anything for Ryo, anything to keep the man his partner. If this would help the man's self esteem and make him a more assertive partner... Dee suddenly understood. Ryo's fear, that had seemed so ridiculous a moment before, made perfect sense now. Dee was willing to do anything for Ryo's love just as Ryo was willing to do anything for his love.
It was slow and awkward at first. Dee bit his lips more than once in pain and impatience, but he didn't say anything to shake Ryo's confidence. The man was having a bad enough time as it was. It seemed to take forever for Ryo to finally get hard enough and to keep it that way long enough to enter into Dee.
Strange. That was the only way to describe it as Dee looked up into Ryo's face and found himself in the position he had put so many others in. Ryo felt too big, too hard, and too uncomfortable. Dee felt stretched and in pain. He dreaded the moment when Ryo would actually begin to fuck him. The only time he had spent being on the bottom had been with uncaring older boys. It had made him very conscious of treating his partners with gentleness. Dee wasn't sure Ryo knew enough to be gentle.
"Dee?" Ryo whispered. Dee winced as Ryo stretched out on top of him, settling his weight and pushing in all the way unexpectedly deep.
'Baby?" Dee whispered back tensely.
"I don't like this," Ryo admitted.
Dee smiled. "That's okay. Just- Just be careful and I'll help you out. We'll do this together."
"Okay."
Dee ran his hands along Ryo's sides and then cupped Ryo's ass. It was awkward and his arms felt strained, but Dee kneaded Ryo's hips and showed him the right rhythm. When Ryo fell into it, Dee ran a finger along Ryo's ass and then pushed it in all the way. Ryo raised his hips and gasped.
"Okay?" Dee asked. "Like that? Not dirty, is it?"
"N-No!" Ryo panted back and his eyes half closed as he became very hard.
Dee kissed Ryo's face and worked him with his finger. It stirred Ryo's sluggish libido. He bucked against Dee's finger and that motion made him slide in and out of Dee.
"Cum for me, Baby," Dee begged, getting quickly to the edge of endurance. He was going to be very sore afterwards, feeling raw despite the lube. When Ryo reached between them and took hold of his cock, Dee suddenly forgot all about that.
Ryo pumped Dee. Dee worked Ryo's ass with his thick finger. Ryo slid in and out of Dee. They writhed feverishly, moaning and panting, bodies rising to a pinnacle of sensation. Ryo came first. When Dee felt his hot cum hit his sweet spot deep inside, he came as well, shouting a wordless exclamation and spurting over both their bellies.
Ryo pulled out. Dee withdrew his finger. They tangled together, sweating and gasping.
"I didn't like that," they both said at the same time.
They looked at each other and laughed.
"I understand now," Dee said as he brushed Ryo's sweaty bangs out of his face.
"Nani?" Ryo wondered, snuggling into the curve of Dee's arm.
"When you told me you felt good, but didn't like it, I couldn't understand," Dee explained. "Now I know what that's like. What we did felt good, but..."
"We can still be equal, even if one likes to be on the top and the other on the bottom," Ryo said with a furious blush. "We just have to listen to each other and give and take, just like we're supposed to do as partners."
"Meaning," Dee said, "That you'll listen to me when I want to try some new things with you. If you don't like them, I'll listen to you and not do them again." Dee held out his hand. "Deal, partner?"
Ryo smiled tenderly and took Dee's hand tightly in his own. "Deal, partner," he replied.
Ryo pulled Dee against him and kissed him deep, suddenly strong and confident. Dee marveled at it and... liked it. Maybe being submissive wasn't that bad, he thought, and allowed Ryo to kiss him even deeper.
****Owari****
That was really long, I know, but it was hard making Ryo seme! What did you think? Did I do good? Review me and let me know! :)