The Devil Within
by
Della Ann Boynton
The Devil Within, The Angel Within, and all
characters therein, are copyrighted by Bon Publishing co. and Della Boynton.
Any unauthorized copying and distributing for profit will be prosecuted, and
yes, I do have a lawyer. Not for profit fanfiction is encouraged, however. ^_^
warnings:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence, attempted NCS
_________________________________________________________________________________________
` It wasn't easy, watching Jhai climb into a transport vehicle and lift off.
Jhai had held Sunnie's hand almost continuously from the moment they had woken
up until they stood at the ramp to the large bellied transport. Other men busied
themselves with equipment, trying to keep their backs to Sunnie and Jhai, trying
to give them their moment to say goodbye.
Sunnie was sad and shy. His eyes roved over the working men and then he looked
up at Jhai. "Rhani," he said and then didn't know what else to say,
how to encompass all that he was feeling in mere words.
Jhai tilted Sunnie's chin and leaned down to kiss his lover deeply on the lips.
Sunnie's eyes fluttered and then he took control, leaning into it, as if trying
to draw Jhai into himself. When Jhai finally broke it and straightened , he
let go of Sunnie with an effort.
Jhai touched his heart. "You will reside in here until we meet again, Love
of my Soul."
Sunnie couldn't trust his voice. He nodded shakily and then clamped down on
a sob as he turned and stumbled down the ramp. He felt the wind and heard the
roar of the transport taking off as he blindly made his way through the checkpoint
and into the terminal building.
I should have said something, Sunnie thought, angry with himself, I should have
said goodbye. He knew though, even if he turned back, even if the transport
had still been waiting there with Jhai, he still couldn't have said goodbye.
That simple word carried with it the potential to be 'forever'. So many terrible
things could happen, one of them, that, once away from him, Jhai might realize
how very little they belonged together.
It was the deep dark secret in Sunnie's heart, a secret that he had nursed and
kept hidden from Jhai. Jhai was a part of that technological world. He moved
easily in it, had respect, had position, had honors. Sunnie, though well liked,
would always be far behind his tall lover. His ignorance was a constant source
of embarrassment to him... to Jhai as well, he thought. He was no one and he
served instead of commanded. There wasn't any shame in that, of course, but
there was something of shame in not being Jhai's equal, in not being able to
be the master of his domain, his home, the unquestioned wisdom in their lives.
Sunnie remembered his father, remembered his brothers in that role. Perhaps
he couldn't be a farmer, couldn't have a family, or be a role model of piety
in his community, but there was nothing holding him back from being a true man
and head of his home, except his own shortcomings and ignorance. Sunnie craved
respect, longed to take care of Rhani Jhai, and wanted to be a man, as much
of one as he was allowed to be.
He was going to take those classes, Sunnie thought determinedly, in fact, he
was going to take even more than Jhai had recommended. He would learn and he
would improve his position. When Jhai returned, Sunnie thought, he was going
to find someone more worthy to be his lover.
The first night, though, alone in their bed, Sunnie cried, all his resolve to
be strong and to make Jhai proud of him, blown to dust by the empty side of
their bed; the side that had held his lover's, strong, beautiful body and now
held only his pillow and his scent. Sunnie clutched that pillow to him and pressed
his cheek against it.
"There is nothing for me without you," Sunnie whispered to the darkness
and, when the sun rose on the next morning, he was awake and watching its light
touch the buildings of the port through his bedroom window.
The next night wasn't any better, or the next, and Sunnie found that attending
classes, and trying to live a 'normal' life without Jhai, was impossible. He
couldn't sleep, he didn't want to eat, and even the act of pulling on clothes
in the morning was becoming unappealing. It was all he could do to force himself
to go to work, to make it through his day, so that he could retreat back to
the apartment and allow his soul to bleed in private.
It didn't help matters, that, being alone, and lacking the will to do anything
but sit on the couch and stare at nothing, left him a great deal of free time
to think of things best forgotten, of a time when he had sat, just like that,
abused and subject to the whims of a cruel man. It reminded him of how helpless
he had felt, how he had firmly believed that he couldn't do anything to change
his situation... even that he deserved it for being what he was. He was free
from that, though, because of Jhai. Jhai had shown him how strong he could be,
how he could lead his own life and make his own decision... how, sometimes,
those in authority, those in control, could be wrong...
Sunnie stood suddenly, the adrenalin of excitement washing away weariness and
hunger. He trembled. The daring of it, the sheer disobedience of his thoughts
was staggering. To even contemplate it was admitting... admitting that he couldn't
handle things, couldn't live his own life as a man should, that he needed that
badly... but he did, need, that badly.
Sunnie went to the vid screen. He sifted through his personal phone book until
he found a number given to him, but never used, a phone number he had entered
dutifully, but with never any real intent to use it. When a bored, male, face
appeared, dark hair adorned in barbaric beads and charms, Sunnie almost hung
up, almost regained some of his pride.
"At your service, Lord," the man said.
Sunnie gathered his wits enough to reply. He found himself ducking his head,
hiding his face, as he said, "I wish to speak with the Chi 'n' Chi. "
The man was clearly astonished by his daring. "May I ask if he expects
your interruption, Lord?"
"No," Sunnie almost lost his nerve again and then he cleared his throat
and said, "I am his honored friend."
The man went pale and inclined his head in respect. "Forgive me, Lord.
I will connect you at once."
Barbaric and yet owning technology. It was a strange mix, Sunnie thought as
he tried to firm his resolve with images of Jhai smiling at him, Jhai's warm
body in his arms, his lover telling him of his love. When the fierce face of
Raul Aganaren, Chi'n'Chi of the High Chi family, appeared on the screen twenty
minutes later, clearly irritated, Sunnie said quickly, "I am very sorry,
Chi'n'Chi. Please forgive my presumption for calling you like this. It is very
unseemly, very..." He swallowed hard and dared to look at the dark eyes
of the man frowning at him. They were curious now, intrigued, the anger gone.
"You are my honored friend," the Chi'n'Chi replied. "I did leave
orders that you were welcome at all times. You were of great service to Kevarian
when you executed Rohan. We are in your debt and that, Sunnie Truheart, is something
that we do not treat lightly. There is a place by my side, and wealth waiting
for your hand to take it, if you so desire. That will never change, however
long you take to decide."
"I..." Sunnie didn't know how to ask what he wanted. It was too forward.
He was still uncomfortable questioning or asking his elders for things. To ask
this man, who he barely knew, something so important, so serious, and yet so
obviously self serving, made Sunnie's stomach tighten and his face flush with
acute embarrassment.
"He wants to be with his lover, Chi," A female voice laughed, deep and rich from off screen. "Stop playing with him!"
The Chi rolled eyes at his second, Aranit Tyreya Kri, of the soldier Kri.
Sunnie couldn't imagine that voice belonging to anyone else. "You may be
accepting of such... pacts... between men... but others are not, Second, The
Chi growled, "and he is not trained to defend himself. If he were requesting
training, or to stand at my side as a warrior..."
"I will not be insulting and remind the Chi'n'Chi of his obligations,"
Kri said softly.
The Chi'n'Chi's face went red with anger and he glared off screen. "Watch
where you tread, Second. Even your position does not give you..."
"The Chi'n'Chi is compassionate," the woman said "I merely remind
him that compassion does not overrule the Chi'n'Chi's obligations."
There was the sound of a metal blade drawn and the Chi'n'Chi trembled with fury.
Sunnie imagined him holding that deadly blade at his Second's throat. Sunnie
felt his heart pounding in his chest. He almost blurted out apologies, told
the Chi'n'Chi that he wanted nothing after all, but the Chi'n'Chi grunted before
he could, and the sound of the blade being sheathed again was loud in the silence.
The Chi's eyes returned to Sunnie. "It seems that you have a fierce advocate,"
he said irritably. "You may travel here under my protection. I will send
a guard to escort you. We will speak further when you arrive."
He didn't say goodbye. The screen was just suddenly blank and Sunnie was left
sitting, with his heart in his throat, wondering what he had just done, what
he had set into motion.
Return to Chapter One
On to Chapter three