The Devil Within
by
Della Ann Boynton
The Devil Within, The Angel Within, and all
characters therein, are copyrighted by Bon Publishing co. and
Della Boynton. Any unauthorized copying and distributing for profit will be
prosecuted, and yes, I do have a lawyer. Not for profit fanfiction is encouraged,
however. ^_^
warnings:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence, attempted NCS
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This has not been edited...
Sequel to The Angel Within
Chapter One
"You won't find anything," Dr. Rhani Jhai said as he went over a list
of medical supplies on the computerized pad in his lap. Seated on a couch, before
a large picture window bright with midday sun, his cinnamon skin and green eyes
seemed to glow.
Sunnie admired that glow and admired his lover despite some frustration over the topic of their conversation, namely the computerized pad Sunnie was holding; a list of personnel needed for Jhai's impending journey into the Outlands. Sunnie was desperate to find a position he was capable of filling.
It was only a short two months since Sunnie's fall from a tall building and his shattering landing into a reflecting pool far below it. Medical science could almost accomplish miracles, so advanced was the technology, but Sunnie's knee was still braced with a flexible bandage and his head still ached if he tried to do too much. Those pains, and lingering injuries, were acceptable considering that on many less advanced worlds, including Sunnie's own birth place, he would have been dead instead. Still, it was those injuries, and Sunnie's lack of expertise in any real field of knowledge, that was keeping him from following Jhai on his new assignment.
On Sunnie's world, loving another man would have earned him a death sentence. His people had instilled in Sunnie a deep abiding guilt for many things. He had left many of those prejudices behind when he had escaped his home world, but he could never quite silence a small voice deep within him that told him he was endangering his soul by being with Jhai. He supposed that guilt would be with him for the rest of his life. It had been beaten into him by years of religious upbringing. Those harsh lessons instructed Sunnie to be glad that Jhai was leaving him, that he should take the chance to purify himself of the sin of loving another man. Sunnie was impatiently ignoring his teachings and experiencing a growing sense of desperation instead. Saving his soul wasn't on Sunnie's mind. Keeping his soul from being torn asunder by Jhai's absence was.
"I must be able to do something besides run errands and take notes!" Sunnie cried in exasperation as he finally put the computer pad aside.
Jhai smiled tenderly at his lover. "There are a great many things you are able to do, Love, but they all have to do with farming. I don't need an agricultural expert on a medical tour into the heartland of Kevare."
Sunnie bowed his head, hands clenched. His golden curls, his clear skin, and his youthful, golden eyes were all at odds with those hands. Sunnie's hands had worked the land since he was old enough to walk. They were sinewy, the joints knotted and scars covering them in abundance. They brought the young man, who looked in every respect like a porcelain angel, down to a more human level, a level that allowed Jhai to contemplate touching that beautiful child of farmers and appreciating him in a very physical manner.
As if reading his mind, Sunnie looked up with eyes that had taken on a sensual, golden heat. He was inhibited and shy about a lot of things, but sex was something Sunnie had been introduced to thoroughly and roughly. His experience surpassed Jhai's, and he wasn't submissive about it. He stood, graceful body and wide shoulders as thin as a rail, but conveying strength nonetheless, as he came to Jhai and took him by the hand. Leading Jhai to the couch, he was the one to press Jhai down onto his back while he climbed on top to nuzzled the tall, mahogany colored doctor along his tattooed neckline.
"I have work to do," Jhai protested weakly, always putty in those long arms, despite Sunnie being younger and smaller than himself.
Sunnie licked the inside of his ear. Jhai trembled. Sunnie's hands began working at the waistband of his pants.
"Sunnie, this isn't going to make me stay or make me change my mind," Jhai said softly, wondering where he had found the will.
Sunnie was tense. Something about his breathing, about the closed expression on his face, had alerted Jhai that things weren't as straight forward as they seemed. Sunnie was definitely trying to manipulate him in the only way he knew how, in the same way he had been manipulated by a very cruel man only a short time ago. Sunnie was trying to use sex to get his way.
Jhai rose, shoving Sunnie off of him. He paced to the window and glared out at the busy, gleaming, port city far below them. Sunnie sat quietly and then said in a small voice. "It's... It's just that I want to go so badly."
Jhai tossed over his shoulder, "So badly that you would put our love at risk?"
Sunnie countered quickly, "I want to go because I love you so much... I don't want to be apart from you."
Jhai did turn then, frowning. "When we enjoy each other's bodies we are showing our love," he explained angrily. "When you USE it to get your way, as if it didn't mean anything, don't you see how you hurt me, how you hurt yourself?"
Sunnie clasped his hands in his lap and looked down at them, his mouth quivering. "I'm sorry," he said in a small voice.
Jhai replied in exasperation, "I don't understand why you think that I wouldn't take you if I could. Don't you know that I have been staying up late at night trying to think of a way to do just that? But, I haven't found a way, Sunnie, because out there, in the wilds of Kevare, an untrained young man can start wars and bring about his death, and the death of the rest of the group, in an instant. Don't you see why I can't chance that happening? Can you understand why there are rules to keep me from doing what I truly want to do, which is to have you by my side always?"
"I don't want to understand that....," Sunnie replied softly, but then ducked his head dejectedly, hiding under the curling locks of his golden hair as he admitted, "but, I do."
Jhai moved to sit on the couch again. He reached out a brown hand and cupped Sunnie's cheek with it. He made Sunnie look at him. "Every moment that I will be away from you, will seem like an eternity."
Tears spilled from Sunnie's amber eyes and he threw himself in to Jhai's arms. Jhai wrapped him tightly against his chest and kissed his lover where ever he could reach.
"We all have duties in life," Jhai whispered. "This is one of mine. There will come a time, when you will have yours as well, and I will be the one who will have to stay behind and wait. Our love is strong enough to survive it, Sunnie, never doubt that."
Sunnie sniffled and then looked up at Jhai's strong face. "I don't mean to be a child, but... "
"I know," Jhai soothed. "You had so many hard times and now that we've found each other, and things have been peaceful for you, you're afraid of losing it, of losing me."
Sunnie nodded, sniffled again, and then sat straighter, his arms still loosely about Jhai. Jhai smoothed his riot of curls, but they sprung up again after his hand had passed. Jhai smiled at him and Sunnie managed to smile back, but it was a sad smile.
"You will never lose me," Jhai promised, stressing each word. "Your peace will not end because I have to go away for a few weeks. Love like ours can't be defeated like that. If it can, then it was never there to begin with."
"It will seem like forever while you're gone," Sunnie said in defeat.
Jhai smiled. "Only if you sit and wait the entire time. I have a plan to keep you busy, though." When Sunnie looked at him, raising his golden eyebrows curiously, Jhai told him, "I talked to a few teachers about you and they are willing to give you special lessons, if you're interested. These classes would help you in the areas where you are weak; languages, math, interplanetary theories, customs, and social sciences, just to name a few." He spoke hesitantly. "I know that Rohan gave you some knowledge artificially, but we've both seen that it isn't enough."
"I want to learn," Sunnie replied, "but I still need to work."
Jhai knew better than to offer Sunnie monetary support. Since the beginning of their relationship, Sunnie had insisted on paying his share of all the expenses. It was an ingrained behavior instilled by his earlier life. A man did not rely on others. A man did not allow himself to be kept like a wife. A man worked. In Sunnie's society, where men and women were severely separated and locked into their roles within the family, allowing himself to step over into another role was a step that Sunnie was not, if ever, ready to make. While he had embraced a great deal of the freer ideals of his new life, in this, Sunnie was immovable.
"I can arrange evening courses," Jhai suggested. "Since I will not be here, you won't have to worry about not spending time with me. You will be able to go to classes and study in peace."
Sunnie looked troubled again even as he was nodding in agreement. Jhai had just painted a picture for him of long days and nights spent alone. "Rhani, " Sunnie told him, "I've been alone, but never that long."
Jhai cupped Sunnie's face in his long, brown hands and said firmly. "You've always been strong and you do have friends. Remember that."
The vid com rang and Jhai bent to give Sunnie a heartfelt kiss, before he turned and answered it. It was the medical office and Sunnie stood and wandered into the bedroom as Jhai discussed a patient. He still couldn't dispel that clenching in his gut, despite Jhai's reassuring words and Sunnie felt ashamed.
Jhai was right. Sunnie wasn't a child. He was strong. He had come from a backward world and found a place, a lover, and friends. He had survived so much. He had been raised to be a rock under the weight of custom and hard work. Being alone, being without Jhai for a little while, wasn't going to destroy what they had. He was only being asked to wait. Yes, wait, Sunnie though angrily at himself, and he was already failing Jhai at that simple task. He was making Jhai sad and making him feel bad for having to do his duty. That had to stop. He had to be a man. Jhai would come back to him. He had to keep saying that to himself until he believed it.
On to Chapter Two