‘Hey Maxwell, have you got some free time?’
‘Sure, Wufei… what’s up?’
‘I’ve got a guy down in holding I need to soften up. Can you come and do the good cop/bad cop routine with me? I’ve even got a back story for you this time.’
‘Uh… actually, no. I’d rather not.’
‘What? You love playing bad cop! Why the hell not?’
‘Well, I’ve been thinking about it and I really just don’t like the whole concept.’
‘…’
‘Don’t stare, it’s rude. What I’m saying is… what constitutes a ‘bad cop’? A bad cop is a cop on the take, or… or… a cop who eats donuts all day! I don’t want to be a bad cop!’
‘Maxwell, for God’s sake… it’s an expression!’
‘Well, it’s a bad one and I don’t like it.’
‘Give me strength…’
‘What?’
‘Just… never mind. Look… you can call it whatever you want, just come on and let’s get going.’
‘Not until we settle on what I’m doing here. I’m not a bad cop, and I just don’t think I like being called one.’
‘Maxwell! Stop being a pain in the ass! It is not that big a deal!’
‘Easy for you to say! You’re always the good cop!’
‘Fine! Come and do the bad cop/worse cop routine with me!’
‘Now I’m a worse cop than you?!’
‘You’re the one with the stupid grammar fixation… you come up with something to call it!’
‘Pissed off?’
‘Of course I’m pissed off! You’re making me insane!’
‘Not you. I meant that’s a more appropriate term. Pissed off cop and… I don’t know, snarky cop?’
‘Snarky? What the hell does that even mean?!’
‘Dude, if you don’t understand the art of snark, then you can’t be the snarky cop anyway. Hmmm… let me think about this. So I’m the pissed off cop and that leaves you…’
‘Can’t I just stay the good cop so we can get this show on the road?’
‘No… I’ve decided I don’t like the comparative association. What good does it do to change my own out-dated labeling if we leave yours the same? The implication is still there.’
‘I don’t fucking believe this. You know what… just never mind. Po will be out of her meeting in another half an hour and I’ll just get her to help me!’
‘Fine. It’s your suspect’s funeral.’
‘Better his than ending up in the psych ward myself!’
‘…’
‘You know, Duo, you really shouldn’t tease him like that.’
‘But Heero, my man, it’s just too damn much fun! Where else can I get such cheap entertainment? So what do you think of pissed off cop/anal retentive cop?’
‘I think it lost something in the translation…’
End