 |
|
|
|
Oh, you better believe I stood there and eavesdropped on the whole damn conversation. I wasn’t entirely sure that Trowa hadn’t noticed me lurking in the doorway, but Duo never did. I probably should have felt guilty, but Trowa had gotten Duo to talk about things that I hadn’t yet managed, and I wasn’t about to walk into that room and risk Duo clamming up again. Too much was coming out that had needed to be told. And even though I wasn’t happy to hear that Duo’s taking off might have been as much for my sake as Trowa’s… it was still information that would help me help Duo, and I was going to take that any way I could get it.
Over the last eight months, I had come to realize that Quatre Winner had been in a lot of pain. Had seen something innocent, that had seemed not so, and had let it poison him. Let it fill him with doubts and bitterness until he’d lashed out at what he’d perceived as a threat to his own happiness. While I don’t know that I’d ever be able to completely forgive him, I had come to understand him a bit, and couldn’t help sympathizing just a little with the fact that he’d caused the loss of what he’d been trying to hang on to in the first place.
But it seemed that Quatre had a bit more to answer for than I’d thought. The accusations he had made had been bad enough, but to have played Duo’s own sense of isolation against him? That was something altogether different. Something I wasn’t sure I could forgive.
Listening in gave me a bit more of an understanding of Trowa and Duo’s relationship, and while I could appreciate the no-nonsense way that Trowa dealt with him… I wasn’t able to stand by when it looked like Duo was on the verge of breaking down. I strode into the room like I’d just arrived, though I was fairly sure I was only acting for Duo’s sake, and called out before I was half way across the room. ‘Maxwell, that damn dog of yours is a pain in the ass.’
His arm came away from his eyes and the look he gave me could only be described as hungry. I didn’t need to ask to know that some part of him hadn’t been sure I was really coming back. He gave me a wan little smile, his emotions on his damn sleeve and I sat down on the side of the bed opposite Trowa, leaning down to drop a quick kiss on Duo’s forehead. It felt vaguely like marking my territory, but I wanted no doubts about how things stood, and doubly wanted Duo to understand it wasn’t something I was going to hide.
Trowa abdicated the bed to me, sliding off to return to the chair. ‘Didn’t take you long to hunt me down,’ I commented to him, letting Duo rest his hand across my lap.
‘Even I couldn’t miss the histrionics Quatre was throwing over Wufei refusing to tell what he knew. As soon as I figured out what the yelling was about, I traced you through the Preventers network.’ He paused to toss a wry grin my way. ‘Really, Heero… using company computers to make personal travel arrangements? I was appalled.’
I snorted and looked away from him for a moment, to look down at Duo. He wasn’t paying much attention to Trowa, but was gazing up at me as though he was still working on believing I was there. I rubbed my hand up and down his arm and smiled for him. ‘So,’ I asked Trowa without changing my focus. ‘How far behind you are the others?’
It made Duo blink uncertainly, but Trowa just chuckled. ‘Wufei?’ he commented. ‘Not sure… he knows I was coming and might just decide there’s not much point in continuing to wait for your word. Quatre? Let’s just say that the trail I followed isn’t there anymore, and you know Wufei will never break his promise. It won’t be that easy for Quatre to find his way here.’
Duo was still quite raw from his talk with Trowa and I easily saw the relief flash through his expression followed quickly by something that looked like guilt. ‘He’s not getting near you until you give the word,’ I told him firmly. ‘We’ll see to it.’
It made him blush, though I could tell he was grateful for the assurance. His hands wanted to touch, but couldn’t, so I continued to smooth my hand up and down his arm. It was… oddly pleasant to watch him relax just from my presence. He seemed to have tired of the conversation though, and turned it quite obviously in a different direction. ‘When can I get out of here?’
‘Soon,’ I soothed, hoping it was so, and then tried to lighten things up for him just a bit. ‘It better be soon before that monster dog of yours completely wrecks your house.’
He gave me a small smile, appreciation for the offer of small talk, I think. Though there was a touch of relief in it… and I wondered if he’d been worrying about the animals. ‘He’s a hand full,’ he murmured, voice tinged with affection.
‘Hand full,’ I snorted. ‘If you’re the Jolly Green Giant.’
It won me one of his little bursts of a laugh, one of the ones that made me feel so damn odd. It was such a victory to make this new Duo laugh… but so painful to remember the free and easy laugh he used to have. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a confused look cross Trowa’s face. I was preparing to leap in with another comment, just to keep Trowa from speaking, when the day nurse breezed into the room and shut us all up.
It seemed that a shower was on the day’s list of activities and I highly suspected that it was as much to see how Duo did with the up and moving part, more than any desire for cleanliness. Especially when Trowa and I were both waved off and told to leave things to ‘the professionals’. I was never sure with the day nurse just what were attempts at humor and what were rather sharp barbs disguised as humor.
‘You seem to be… moving pretty fast,’ Trowa observed dryly once Duo and his attendants were out of the room. I wanted to laugh, wondering if I was about to get the big brother lecture.
‘You don’t have to tell me,’ I replied with a sigh, rather taking him by surprise, I think. At least… I didn’t get the lecture, so I assume it wasn’t what he was expecting. ‘Too fast, maybe.’
Still sitting in the chair, he had to tilt his head a bit to stare at me, and he made the effort. ‘What are you saying?’
‘He’s… changed,’ I tried to explain. ‘He’s just… very… I don’t know… kind of…’
‘Fragile?’ he ventured into my floundering hunt for words. He hit the one I hadn’t wanted to use.
‘Yeah,’ I admitted with a sigh, and stopped staring at the empty doorway and moved to lean against the wall by the window, looking outside instead. ‘He’s… a mess.’
Trowa snorted, stretching his legs out in front of him. ‘No shit?’ He left it hang there, but when I didn’t take the bait, he prodded in his none too gentle way. ‘You going to tell me what in the hell he did to his hands? Since he didn’t seem to want to?’
‘I’m not entirely sure,’ I had to confess. ‘From what I could tell, he went two falls out of three with a damn fence.’ My fingers had found a loose bit of paint on the windowsill and when I realized I was picking at it, made myself stop.
‘You haven’t asked him?’ Trowa demanded, crossing ankles, crossing arms, and fairly radiating his unhappiness with me.
‘There hasn’t really been time,’ I told him, scowling at the parking lot. ‘He just really came around to the point that he was understanding me last night. And then I had to go back to his place to deal with his damn animals. I just… I haven’t wanted to upset him.’
Trowa made a noise that was meant to convey to me his opinion, but I ignored it, so he said, ‘From the look of things, you’re a little bit past upset. Care to venture a guess as to what caused this… sudden aversion to fences?’
I tried to offer up a small laugh for the line, but it came out more as a huff of frustration and I leaned my head against the window frame. ‘He… woke up to find me gone. Apparently never noticed the note I left.’
‘Woke up?’ Trowa growled, his tone sounding dangerous, and I wondered if I was about to meet the big brother after all.
‘We slept together, ok?’ I snapped. ‘It was stupid, and too God damn soon, and I already figured that the hell out, so get off my case about it. He… needed me.’
He was quiet for a long couple of minutes, though I swear I could feel his eyes boring a hole in the side of my head. ‘How long have you been in love with him?’
Son of a bitch finally made me look at him, and there was something in his eyes that was wistful and just damn sad. Made me wonder just who in the hell he was thinking about. ‘Long damn time,’ I told him outright. ‘Would have done something about it if I hadn’t thought that… he was with you.’
I caught him by surprised and he just blinked at me for a minute. ‘I thought you told me you never believed what Quatre…’
‘Didn’t,’ I said, cutting him off. ‘Before that. But then when you started seeing Quatre, I realized I was wrong. It’s funny… I’d have probably asked Duo out that night, if things hadn’t gone the way they did.’
His expression twisted for a moment into a near grimace of pain. ‘Wish you had,’ he said softly. ‘Wish you had long before that. Would have saved… a hell of a lot.’
I didn’t know how to answer the ache in his voice, so I didn’t say anything at all.
|
|