Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, violent, language, Prison!Duo, Mentally unstable!Duo.
"Too much noise," Duo whimpered as he covered his ears and huddled under the small table.
Heero paced the confines of the small apartment and then leaned against the one window to look out at the bustling streets below. They were two in a million now, unremarkable. That suited Heero, but it was a nightmare for Duo. The sounds were more than he could handle. Heero had resorted to drugging him to get him into the apartment, and had kept him mildly sedated after that, but, while it calmed anxiety attacks, it wasn't a long term solution.
Someone in the apartment next to them turned on music with a loud, bass beat. Duo whimpered and cringed. Heero clenched and unclenched his hands in worry. He wasn't a good choice when it came to comforting anyone. He had never experienced much of that himself. Duo's pain was tearing at him, though, in a way that disturbed him. He wanted to make Duo feel better, and, as the day wore on, that desire grew strong, strong enough to finally make him act.
When the knock came on the door, Heero checked his gun and blocked the door when he opened it. He gave the delivery man a fierce look, paid him money when he offered a debit scanner, and ignored the man's put out look.
"I don't have change for that stuff," the man grumbled.
"I don't want change," Heero growled, took the box from the man, and closed the door in his face. After locking it securely, he turned to find Duo.
He had taken a chance, he knew, and more than part of his brain cursed him for it, but his emotions were firmly in control.
The closet door was open. Heero placed the pizza on the small table and called out softly,"Duo, time to eat."
It was, roughly, and Duo was inclined to react to that prompt. With hands over his ears, and his expression one of pain and anxiousness, he edged out of the darkness and tried to make sense out of what Heero expected of him.
Heero opened the box. "Pizza."
Duo's hands went over his eyes now, tightly, but his nostril's were flaring, catching the scent. Heero grabbed his elbow and helped him to sit in a chair. "If you're going to pretend that this isn't real pizza, then, I warn you,"Heero said. "I will eat it all myself."
Duo's hands lowered abruptly, but they were shaking. He stared at the steaming pizza, as if it might do something unpleasant, and then he snatched a piece and began stuffing it in his mouth, disregarding the fact that it was hot. "I don't care," he mumbled around his food, "if this is real or not. I'll eat even imaginary pizza."
Heero chuckled as he ate his own piece, glad that he had taken the chance. It warmed him inside to see Duo suddenly looking happy and enjoying something. The fear and the cringing had seemed almost ingrained, something that might never go away.
There was only the one bed. Heero made his own makeshift bed on the floor, in one corner, automatically, not expecting Duo to share his space and feeling a nervousness, himself, in contemplating it. He couldn't deny a sexual attraction, even to this damaged Duo. He had always felt drawn to him, even early on in the war.
Duo curled up in the bed and closed his eyes, but he didn't sleep. He was simply used to pretending, for the guards, that he was. Heero sat on his pile of blankets, hating the hard floor under him. He leaned against the wall and contemplated their next move.When Duo suddenly exploded off of the bed, landed on his knees beside Heero, and grabbed Heero's shirt with both hands, Heero nearly pulled his gun in shock.
"Ranmuel! It was Ranmuel!" Duo shouted into his face, eyes wild. "You've got to stop him! He's still following the plan!"
Heero throttled every impulse to protect himself, and regarded Duo coolly. "One of the men who came to the cabin?"
Duo panted, his vision turned inward as he tried to focus. "No, their leader. I... I was part of that. We were going to show them... blow up a series of government..."Duo released him and gripped at his head. "I always dreamed that they would rescue me... That was... different. Oh, God, Heero! This is real! They're going to go through with it!"
"That's what you wanted," Heero said softly. "Aren't you glad?"
Duo drew in a sharp breath and his eyes came up to Heero's again, pain and desperation there. "No..No.. I was young, stupid... Too used to violence. I don't want that anymore. Sure, I want to kick this government in the gonads still, but... not like that. Not anymore."
Heero nodded, once, "Then you deserve your release."
Duo relaxed, suddenly, as if he were a puppet and someone had clipped his strings. Slumped, head down, his braid pooled by his knees. "It was... hard, Heero. Did... Did it make me crazy... all that time...?"
"I don't know, " Heero replied. "You were always a little crazy. It's hard to tell."
Duo's head came up and he choked on a laugh, but it sounded wild. He reached out to Heero again, wincing a little as he made contact with Heero's shirt. He grasped it again, but not so tightly as before. "They must have been waiting for me to get out. To lead them. They never had the balls to do it without me. I wonder what's changed?"
"Ranmuel?" Heero asked, trying to follow Duo's erratic train of thought.
Duo nodded. He gave Heero's shirt a tug. "Call. Make a call. Stop them."
"I need information to tell authorities," Heero pointed out. "They can't be arrested unless there's proof."
Duo swallowed hard. "I... They may have moved everything after I was put into prison. I can't say for sure..."
"Duo?" Heero's hand lightly touched Duo's. Duo flinched and his eyes widened at the contact, but he held still, staring at their hands as Heero said, " If we go in, you have to tell them that you came willingly with me. You have to be coherent.. sane... otherwise, they'll put me in prison for kidnapping and you'll go into an institute again."
"Again?" Duo frowned, shivered."I remember... I didn't like that place."
"Then try very hard to focus," Heero urged him.
Duo nodded. He released Heero and looked him over. "I... you did all of this... Are you sure you're not the crazy guy?"
Heero snorted a laugh. "Maybe."
"I don't know why you would bother..." Duo continued, growing serious.
"You don't?" Heero replied, eyes intense.
Duo blinked at him, blushed, and then stammered. "Uh, well... we... I ... I really need time to get all of this straight. I feel like I just woke up from a ten month drunk."
"Go to sleep," Heero urged. "We'll make arrangements in the morning."
Duo nodded, though he looked worried and disconcerted. He unsteadily went to the bed and sat down on it. Looking at Heero's uncomfortable bed, and the space on his, he growled in embarrassment, "Don't be stupid. Get into this bed."
Heero nearly refused. He had revealed more than he had intended, but Duo had drawn it out of him unexpectedly. He did need real rest, though, and Duo's offer was too tempting. Duo moved against the wall and Heero stretched out on the edge of the bed. He couldn't help feeling a response at Duo's nearness, but he kept it under fierce control and firmly told himself to sleep.
"Thank you, Heero," Duo whispered at his back.
Heero grunted in response and that made Duo chuckle.
"That's the Heero I know," Duo snickered.
And that was the Duo he knew, Heero thought, and felt keen relief.
_________________________________________
They took a cab to the Preventer offices the next day, a long drive through heavy traffic. Duo was soon sinking low in his seat, eyes closed and fingers in his ears, unable to cope with the noise. Heero tried to talk to him, distract him, but it was only more noise to Duo. The driver glanced back at them, uncertain, and Heero wondered if he had been given any bulletins to look out for a long haired kidnap victim. If he had, he didn't reveal it, and only seemed too glad to finally end their ride at an official building.
Coaxing Duo out of the cab was harder. Heero hated to resort to force, especially, when there were so many people walking by them, who might not understand, but he didn't have any choice in the end. Clamping down hard on Duo's wrists, he jerked him free of the relative safety of the cab and pulled him up the short flight of stairs to the front of the Preventer building.
"What's...?" the Preventer agent at the door trailed off as he recognized Duo and Heero. He glanced behind him and caught the eyes of other agents, who came hurrying forward, hands on weapons.
"I need to speak to your commander," Heero told them as he braced himself and kept Duo from huddling on the floor. "Duo Maxwell has something very important to tell him."
Duo was making choked noises of distress, the high, vaulted ceiling and the echoing, romanesque building disorienting him. "Heero!" he pleaded. "It hurts!"
Mentally, Heero knew, and snapped at an agent. "We need a small, quiet room."
The man nodded, but he was ready for trouble from a man he knew was dangerous even unarmed. Leading Heero to a side office, he let them inside and then locked the door behind them.
"Sorry," Duo whispered as his hands shook and he took shuddering breaths. He hugged himself, but then let his hands go loose as even that sensation bothered him. "It's like my head is on fire, vibrating, everything hurting my ears... and eyes... like bugs on my skin."
The room was well appointed, with leather furniture, a dark, glossy desk, and a thick carpet. Neither of them sat or relaxed.
"Duo," Heero pleaded. "You have to try and calm down."
Duo made a helpless motion and then looked at Heero with distressed eyes. "You're probably disgusted, right? I can't keep it together. I want to, but..."
"I understand," Heero told him, but that didn't make his worry any less. If Duo couldn't convince them of his sanity and his information, they were both going to be locked up.
Duo gave him a brittle smile. "Three years... I didn't think they could do it to me... break me like that."
"They didn't break you," Heero assured him. When Duo blinked at him, perplexed, Heero explained, "You followed the rules when there wasn't another choice, but you never surrendered your beliefs. "
Duo's hands flicked, as if he were trying to get dirt off of them and he paced, "What did I believe?" he wondered bitterly. "In war? In killing? Is that what I spent my time holding on to?"
"No," Heero replied, frowning. "I don't think so. I think you wanted all those deaths to count for something. You didn't want them to mean nothing with a stroke of a pen. Someone had to lose."
"No one lost," Duo agreed. "They acted like it was all bloodless, just a misunderstanding that a few lines on a charter could fix. Everyone make nice and shake hands now, we're all going to be friends. Forget about Tommy who got his head taken off, or Michael's, who watched mobile dolls step on his entire family, or Mathew, who-"
"Duo?" Heero interrupted him and Duo's eyes looked as if they were ready to fill with tears. "They bought the peace with their sacrifices, not just lines on a charter."
"They didn't want to sacrifice that much, though," Duo said, sighed, and then rubbed at his eyes as he turned away from Heero. "I chose, so that wouldn't happen to them, so that it would happen to me instead."
"Then you're angry about that as well," Heero said thoughtfully. "I suppose we all are, giving up our youth so that papers can be signed, and everyone can pretend the sacrifice was never made."
"More people shouldn't die for that, though," Duo replied. "The killing shouldn't go on because I'm pissed off."
The door opened and a man and his guards stepped in. The commander of that branch of Preventers, eyed his two dangerous 'guests' and then focused on Heero. "I am Commander Kirklin. You're wanted for kidnapping, Mr. Yuy.If you'll, please, go quietly with my men, to lock up, Mr. Maxwell will be taken care of by experienced physicians and returned to the care that he needs."
"Duo came with me willingly," Heero replied calmly. "We also came, willingly, to give you important information about a terrorist cell. He believes that they are readying for a major assault on the government."
Kirklin's eyes swept over Duo's shivering form. Duo, in his turn, was staring at the guards, and the shock rods they carried at their belts. Heero understood that look at once.
"Order them to leave, now!" Heero began to demand, but it was already too late.
Duo went white and agitated. Duo's hands fluttered protectively at sensitive points on his body, wanting to protect himself from what he now perceived were the guards from the prison."D-d-don't know...I don't know w-w-what time it is," he stammered. "I don't know what to do!Tell me what t-t-t-o do! I'll do it. I will. I will. I will..."
He stopped talking all at once, seeing the danger in that as well, and then simply huddled in a ball on the floor, beginning to choke on sobs as he pulled his shirt up over his face.
Kirklin looked down at Duo in pity. "I'm not certain what's going on," he said softly, "I'm not qualified. Mr. Maxwell does appear to be delusional, Mr. Yuy, and he's not in any shape to speak for your innocence, or to sound credible about any allegations of terrorism. I will, therefore, allow better heads than mine to sort this matter out. Please, follow my guards to lock up. I promise you that Mr. Maxwell will be well cared for."
"Duo," Heero said, strongly, "Look at me! I need you! I need you now."
Duo tensed, trying to sort through his different realities.
"Mr. Yuy," the commander warned.
"Duo, please... love," he begged, blushing hotly. "Tell them."
Duo's eyes came out of hiding, wide in shock. "W-what?" he gasped. Those eyes searched for and found Heero. "What did you say?"
It had worked, Heero thought in relief, though he hated the startled and confused men around him, and using such a tactic.
"Duo," Heero called. "Focus. These aren't prison guards. They won't hurt you."
"Of course not!" Kirklin agreed with a touch of outrage. "They are here for your protection, Mr. Maxwell."
Duo was flinching, as if he could feel the stun rods already, but it was obvious that he was trying to bring his mind back, to control the fear.
Heero moved to Duo's side, ignoring the nervous guards. "Duo," he urged again.
Duo pulled himself together, by a supreme force of will that was clearly visable and said, "Commander? I was part of a terrorist cell. They contacted me not long ago. I do believe that they're planning on a strike. I can give you all the details... but it's hard... I need... quiet... not so many people."
It was as much as he could offer them, for the moment. Heero's pardon wasn't on his mind, and Heero knew that he couldn't waste his moment of precious sanity, asking for it.
The commander was weighing options, judging Duo's words, but then he fell back on 'old school'. "I will take this under serious consideration, Mr. Maxwell, and inform my superiors, but I must ask that you allow yourself to be attended by a physician, now, until they give me orders."
The commander turned to Heero. Heero had already decided his next course. If the guards were making Duo unstable, he had to cause their removal. That meant going to lock up. "I'll go, peacefully," Heero assured the commander, "but, please, be careful with Duo. He's suffered sensory deprivation. This is painful to him."
"I give you my word, sir, that he will be taken care of," the commander assured Heero, but then, licking licks nervously, he asked, "You two are... contracted?"
It was a very polite word for legal marriage between men. Heero shook his head, no, feeling himself flush with both embarrassment and the awkwardness of the question. "We're friends," he explained.
The man nodded, as if it explained things to him clearly, though Heero was sure that it hadn't explained anything at all.
Heero wasn't sure whether Duo was hearing them or not. His eyes were still on the guards. Heero could guess at his confusion, his inner fight to sort out what was real and what wasn't. Heero's words were only adding to it.
"I'm going, Duo," Heero told him."I won't be gone long, though."
Duo twitched at that, his eyes moving to Heero, a frown on his face. "You called me...?"
"Later," Heero told him. "Concentrate on telling them about the terrorists."
Duo looked anguished, but he gave a small, distracted nod, his eyes going back to the guards, and following them with his eyes as they led Heero out of the room.
More agents joined the guards, making sure of Heero, but Heero's mind wasn't on them. It was on his own words to Duo. He had said what he knew would get Duo's attention, but now, he felt something unexpected, the truth that was in them. He hadn't been lying.
__________________________________________________________________
The doctor approached Duo cautiously, well used to dealing with unstable people.
"Mr. Maxwell?" The doctor watched Duo's eyes slowly track in his direction.
Duo's head was pounding. Everything was too loud, too mixed up. The doctor was speaking to him in soothing tones, but he could only see the man's lips moving, his words part of the pressure in his ears, the mangled 'noise' that didn't have any distinct parts.Without Heero to help him focus, to give him a point of reality, he felt adrift and unsure.
"Quatre Winner."
That was clear and Duo blinked. There was something wrong with invoking that name and Duo struggled to understand why. Finally, he dredged up Heero's words. Quatre would send him back to the institute. Quatre would put him with the doctors and the endless therapies, ignoring what he really needed; to be free.
"No," Duo said, frowning, trying to calm his misfiring brain. "I'm not going with him." He ignored the doctor's response. "Heero is taking care of me. I want to stay with him. Please... he didn't kidnap me. I went because I wanted to."
He was supposed to say that earlier, he remembered guiltily. He wasn't sure that he would be believed. The doctor was looking skeptical.
"He's... he's my boyfriend," Duo tried. "He wouldn't hurt me." It sounded stupid, saying that word and meaning Heero. It was too much like a kindergarten playground. We're boyfriends. Ex terrorist, gundam pilot boyfriends. He wanted to laugh, to giggle insanely. Heero had called him 'love'. Heero had taken the step that Duo had wanted to take all along, and had been too sure would never be taken. Love seemed as unlikely as boyfriend when speaking about Heero Yuy.
"Things are confusing to you, right now, Mr. Maxwell," the doctor said, suddenly distinct from the 'noise'. "We need to be sure that you're not mistaken about your companion. Quatre Winner seemed certain that your life was in danger, that you had been kidnapped. We wish to hear from all parties before we make a decision about releasing Mr. Yuy."
The door opened and Duo flinched, the general noise of the building rolling in. "The wagon's here," a man told them.
The doctor turned back to Duo and said soothingly, "We're having you moved to a nearby facility until Mr. Winner arrives."
Duo shook his head, frowning. "No, I need... I need to..." He struggled,. "Close the door." He repeated it, but no one seemed to be listening. He couldn't concentrate with it open, he couldn't argue against anything with the noise taking over his world again. "Close the door!" he demanded, hands going over his ears.
Something pricked his arm. Duo looked down and saw the needle coming out and the doctor looking apologetic. He was speaking again, but it meant nothing. Drowsiness over took Duo. He sagged and hands caught at him, keeping him from hitting his head.
"Stupid!" Duo mumbled, hating himself. He had the words to save people's lives, but they were convinced that he was unstable, that everything he said was suspect. People were going to die, because of his inability to get control of himself.
The world blurred. It seemed as if he blinked, once, twice, three times, and then Quatre Winner was before him and speaking softly.
Duo shivered, disoriented. He was in a small room and stretched out on a bed. Everything was blessedly quiet, white, clean, and free from confusing sensation, just like the prison.Bland, mind numbing, relaxing. The routine prickled along Duo's mind, wanting him to follow it. What time was it? It wondered. What should he be doing now?
"Fuck you," Duo told it, and repeated the mantra that had kept him sane for at least one year out of the three.
"Duo?" Quatre broke through the mantra, worried expression judging Duo's sanity.
"Focusing," Duo told that face.
The worried expression grew more severe.
Heero needed to be freed, Duo told himself. He needed to convince people that their lives were in danger. He needed to convince them that he wasn't crazy.
"Heero was keeping me safe," Duo explained. "You weren't helping me."
"Safe... from me?" Quatre asked as he crouched by the bed.
"You weren't doing the right things," Duo tried again. "Heero knew what I needed."
Quatre searched his eyes, looking for sanity."What did you need?" he wondered.
"Not... Not to be babied," Duo replied. "To get away from the routine."
"It's helped?" Quatre asked.
Duo nodded.
"You scared the shit out of me, leaving like that," Quatre sighed. He straightened, brought a chair to Duo's bedside, and sat down. "I thought Heero had lost his mind."
"Sorry," Duo began, but then shook his head. Focus. "We were in the mountains... people found us... rebels from the old days... part of my cell. They wanted me to lead them. They said... They're going to make a strike... on several targets."
Quatre nodded, as if someone had informed him of everything. "Duo, we've looked over your records. This particular... scenario... happened to you several times during your stay at the prison. It's documented. You told the guards that they were in trouble, now, because your 'buddies' were there to get you out."
Duo shivered, almost doubting himself, but then pointing out,"Heero saw them."
Quatre was quick to reply, "Heero saw several men who knew you. He only has your word that they are a rebel cell and that they intend strikes."
"No," Duo argued. "He heard them. They came to get me, to lead them.Bring me photos, I'll point them out. He'll recognize them."
"I'll tell them to try that," Quatre said, in a placating voice.
"Quatre," Duo begged. "Please don't... I'm having trouble thinking when there's a lot of noise, but... I'm not crazy. Please... let Heero go. Listen to me before it's too late."
"You're asking me to explain several things, Duo," Quatre sighed. "You're asking me to explain why your cell waited three years to make a strike. You're also asking me to explain how they found you in the mountains when the entire Preventers force couldn't."
"They're cowards," Duo snapped back and sat up on his bed. The room spun, the drugs not completely out of his system."They didn't have the balls without me being there, but, they know I'm never coming back,now, and they don't have any choice but to go through with it. As for finding me, I guess they convinced Heero's pilot to talk. You better see if he's still alive."
Quatre stood and looked down at Duo thoughtfully."You're making sense, when I could hardly get two words from you before. I have to admit that Heero has improved your mental health. Convincing authorities, when you have such an extensive record of delusions, will be a problem, though. If you could give me some collaborating evidence..."
Duo had nothing. He knew that the cell would have moved everything by then, especially after seeing him less than sane, and covered their tracks thoroughly. "I can tell you the targets. They may have changed them, but I doubt it. They were strategic to our cause. They've probably already tested security, mapped the places out, or monitored movements. If you look on any security disc, I'm sure you'll spot them."
"Unless we've already run out of time," Quatre pointed out, but he was already taking out his cell phone and making the call.
The door opened and aides in white uniforms came into the room. Duo tensed at the noise from the hall that came in with them. Quatre gave them a disapproving look, but he was too busy on his cell to ask them what they wanted.
"Time for breakfast, Duo," one of the aids said pleasantly. "Are you feeling hungry?"
One of the aids checked Duo over, his hands almost pain on Duo's skin, while another watched the door, as if Duo might make a break for it, and another began to move towards a small, plastic table and chair with a tray of food.
"Normally, everyone eats in the commissary," the man checking over Duo explained, "But you're an exception. We've heard that you don't like noise."
The man with the tray caught a foot in the plastic chair as he tried to avoid Quatre on his cell phone. He stumbled. Quatre caught at his arm to save him from a fall, and the tray went flying. It splattered and clattered all over the floor.
"Shit!" the aid attending Duo exclaimed, startled, as he turned to see what was going on. When he turned back around, he found his patient gone.
"Duo?" the aid blinked and then looked under the bed. He found Duo huddled there, eyes wide, and body shaking. His hands were placed firmly over his ears.
Quatre stopped talking, the phone hanging uncertainly in his hand. He slowly brought it back up to his ear as Duo stammered, "Don't! Don't!" His mind back in the prison and fearing the guards as the aid tried to coax him out of hiding. They had liked to punish him for infractions by flinging his breakfast tray out of his hands and forcing him to clean it up. The clatter and splatter had been all too familiar. The stun rods had been liberally applied until he had learned to do everything that he had been ordered to do.
Quatre said into his cell. "I think that Duo may need a psychological evaluation before any decision can be made. Yes, exactly. I'm sorry to bother you. I'll be in contact."
Quatre pocketed his phone and sighed. Duo felt the prick of a needle as the aid snagged his arm and injected a drug. He struggled to bring his mind back from the delusion, his fear telling him things he knew weren't true. Quatre was real. The room was real, he argued with it. He needed to convince Quatre to call again, to believe him.
"Come, on, Duo," the aid urged him. "We'll get you another breakfast." His voice slurred and whirled away and Duo lost to the drugs again.
TBC