Disclaimer: I don't own this and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning: Guys absolutely having sex with guys/a lot/ graphically/ violently/ romantically. Language. Violence. Happily ever after, SAAAAAPPPY ending, warning, definitely.
This is the last one! No more! Don't ask! Won't happen! Four arcs is too many even for Kracken the Prolific.
Support a starving artist. Buy Kracken's book, The Storm, under Della Boynton at Amazon.com. If you're a college kid and too poor, send me some pizza instead! :)
Duo sat limply in the passenger seat as Gibson drove the small cart back towards the bungalow.
"Didn't go very well, sir," Gibson said.
"Duh!" Duo snapped back and hunched in on himself, hating the grinding pain in his ribs and his heart. One he could understand. The other, he didn't. Why should his heart hurt? Was Zechs' friendship, his opinion of him, so important? Zechs had only said what Duo knew already. The man thought he was a low life. The kiss had probably been leading up to a full blown rape on the library floor. Zechs had probably thought, 'An L2 rat, why not use him?'
Duo saw in his memory, Zechs' shocked, blue eyes when he, Duo, had pulled away from the kiss. Duo recalled his own words to Zechs, the harshness, the condemnation, and the rejection. Zechs' expression had not been one a man would have worn who had been contemplating rape and degradation. His expression had been one of a jilted suitor. The very thought made Duo shiver and recoil. The very idea that Zechs could be in love with him, could want to romance him, and could suffer a broken heart because of his, Duo's rejection, seemed out of the realm of possibility.
Duo bit his lip hard, remembering the warm taste of Zechs' lips on his. He had panicked, he thought bitterly, pure and simple, and what had made him panic had been his own bodies reaction to Zechs. Duo remembered the heat between his legs, the electric charge of 'want' that had gone through him, something he had never felt with any woman.
But I'm not gay! Duo thought to himself, feeling the panic rising again. He tried to reason with himself. Of course he had reacted to Zechs. He was still a damned virgin when most young men scored with their first girl at fifteen and sixteen! That had to be all it was, frustrated hormones needing an outlet of any kind. That still didn't explain why his heart hurt so much, though, and why he felt a gnawing sense of loss in the pit of his stomach.
Both mind and body screamed at him to go back to Zechs and make up. It frightened him how empty and alone he felt, thrust out into the cold when he had just discovered.... what? What had he discovered? Did he really want to admit what it was to himself? If he went back to Zechs now, Duo knew he would have to start facing up to reality. He wouldn't be able to escape the truth any longer. Duo found that he couldn't bear that. He didn't have the strength or the courage for truth. He always ran when things became tough. Now wasn't going to be an exception.
"Stop!" Duo said suddenly.
Gibson braked the cart and Duo slid out of the passenger seat. One of the servant girls, pert and blonde, was walking along a lighted path to the servant quarters, yawning and looking exhausted. She brightened when she saw Duo come out of the darkness. Duo remembered her name.
"Karen? Want some company?"
"Mr. Maxwell!" Karen beamed and looked very coquettish. It was a thin veil over a lustful pose and a gleaming set of brown eyes that gave Duo a practiced, appreciative once over. When her eyes lingered on his crotch, Duo nervously took that as a signal that Karen was easy and that she wanted to be easy with him.
"Why don't we go for a little walk?" Duo suggested, hooking an arm in hers and smelling her cloying perfume.
Duo hid a grimace as Karen pressed her soft body up against his. He had a shadowy view of her cleavage as she replied sensuously. "That would be very nice, Mr. Maxwell."
Duo forced a grin. "You can call me, Duo."
"Duo," she repeated and giggled.
Duo threw back over his shoulder at Gibson, not really caring what the damned snobbish servant did, "Go on ahead to the bungalow, Gibson. I'll be back later."
"Sir," Gibson replied in disgust, not even hiding it now.
Duo ignored it as he led Karen off of the path and took a small dirt path into a garden illuminated by only small, knee high lanterns on hooks. Alone now, Karen dropped all pretense of innocence. She grinned and slid her hand down the back of Duo's pants saying, "Let's find a nice, soft spot, okay?"
"You are wasting time, " Heero grated as he knocked back a shot of whiskey and eyed Wu Fei's sparse, impersonal room as if it might be hiding security men.
Wu Fei smiled as he refilled Heero's glass, filled his own shot glass, and then sat down on the couch. Putting the bottle of whiskey aside on the side table, he half turned to face Heero. Heero was sipping at his second shot, wanting a clear head for anything that might happen.
"Wasting time?" Wu Fei repeated. "Who's time, Heero? Not mine. My shuttle doesn't leave for the Sanq Kingdom until tomorrow afternoon. Wasting your time? It seems that you are the one who's wasting your own time. Instead of working with the Preventers, perfecting your self, and furthering your position, you're chasing after a braided fool and considering revenge on an old enemy. You've lost focus Heero. That's why, mentally, I have the upper hand. I don't have base emotions making me weak, making me forget my priorities."
Heero suddenly knocked back the second glass, brows coming down in a frown.
"Look at you!" Wu Fei sneered. "Do you want to stick it to Duo so bad you can't control yourself?!"
Heero threw the glass at Wu Fei's head. Wu Fei ducked easily. Heero's nostrils flared as he stood up as stiff as a tin soldier, face angry and ... confused. "I don't understand! Explain this behavior to me. Why am I reacting this way? Why is my training not working?!"
"How long have you gone without sexual release?" Wu Fei demanded coolly. When Heero rattled off the days, the weeks, Wu Fei raised a knowing eyebrow. He reached out and grabbed Heero by the front of his clothes. He pulled the man close, hard. "Get rid of the sexual tension first, and then we can discuss this matter further."
Heero grabbed Wu Fei in return, his fingers like vises. They stood like that, facing each other, eyes boring into eyes, and then Heero growled. "Unacceptable. Discovery could come at any time. This is too dangerous."
Wu Fei smirked. "Get your head out of the war, Heero. Unless you murdered a few security men getting onto the estate grounds, I doubt anyone cares whether you're here or not. Besides, I have perimeter alarms set up on this room. There's enough ex Oz soldiers with a grudge who want me dead. That's why I remain a careful man."
"And if you're the one who is my enemy?" Heero demanded.
Wu Fei smiled as he loosed a hand and stripped the tie holding his black hair at the nape of his neck. His hair tumbled down onto his shoulders, straight and shinning. "You don't have to undress, Heero, and you can keep your gun in you hand. I'll relieve both of our needs."
Without waiting for Heero to agree, Wu Fei was already opening Heero's pants. He took Heero into his warm hands and then sank down onto his knees. He would be quick, Wu Fei thought, and efficient, but he would make Heero remember his skill and make him forget about an inexperienced, unwilling Duo Maxwell.
Zechs threw himself down into the chair that Duo had been sleeping in. It still smelled like the ex pilot, faintly of some herbal shampoo and a scent uniquely Duo's; fresh breezes and a hint of something indescribable. That unique scent prickled through Zechs' brain, speaking to him, taunting him, making mind and body ache and want Duo Maxwell like Zechs had never wanted anything else before in his life. It wasn't even about sex anymore and, he realized, the kiss that had turned so disastrous hadn't been about sex either.
His hand was bleeding, skin ripped and bruised. Zechs ignored it as he punched the button of his pager. A nervous servant appeared and Zechs had him fetch a strong drink. The man asked timidly if Zechs wanted bandages or a physician.
"No," Zechs replied. He didn't deserve either, he felt.
The drink came almost at once. Zechs dismissed the servant with chilly politeness. As soon as the door shut behind the man, Zechs opened the bottle with his good hand and then drank it straight, without a glass. Drown yourself, the darkness within him mocked, maybe it will kill you this time.
Duo's sick, shocked expression played over and over in Zechs' memory. He hid his eyes behind his injured hand, as if he could shut it out that way, but it was futile. His pride had been injured, but Zechs knew that hadn't been the reason that he had exploded at Duo. It was his heart that had taken an unexpected stab, an unfurling love that had been crushed under the heel of Duo's rejection. Zechs wanted to hate Duo, to justify to himself that everything he had shouted at the young man had been true and right to say, but that memory of Duo's expression wouldn't allow Zechs to fool himself that way. That expression had told Zechs what Duo had been unable to say, to admit to. Duo was in love with him too. Zechs was sure of it.
Duo's only crime had been to be afraid, to be unsure, and to be what he was, a young man trying to understand himself, to understand what it was he wanted from Zechs and the world. His pushing Zechs away with angry words, had only been an awkward plea to be given more time to understand what was happening between them.
"I have been patient with so many things in my life," Zechs grated. "How many years did I wait for the Sanq Kingdom? How many years did I wait until Relena grew old enough to lead the pacifist movement? How many years did I play lackey to Treize and plan the day of peace for everyone? Why, then, is it so hard to back off and be patient with Duo? Why can't I wait for him to come to me, to want me, and to understand himself enough to accept me?
Zechs knew the answer. The darkness cruelly whispered it to him. None of the other things in his life had involved his heart. Nothing had ever touched his soul the way Duo had. Zechs couldn't help from wanting Duo in every way and, inundated with aristocratic whores and willing sycophants all of his life, Zechs was ill prepared to control a desire for instant gratification. Romance was a skill he had never needed to learn.
Zechs look hard at the bottle of drink in his hand. Deliberately, he set it down on a side table. It wasn't the time to drink, he thought, he had a battle to win: a battle for Duo's heart. A battle against the dragging darkness that bade him, 'Do nothing. You are not worthy'. That darkness wanted to make him believe that he was defeated already, that he didn't have a chance to win Duo back to him. The Lightning Count refused to admit defeat. He refused to lose the battle, to be brought down by his imagined failings and foolish mistakes. He knew infinite patience in battle. He could and would employ that patience now. Duo was his battle. He couldn't think of it any other way and hope to succeed.
"Byron!" Zechs called sharply, knowing the man was waiting outside the door for just such a call.
The door opened and the servant looked in with a lifted eyebrow. "I'm going out. Have a cart ready at the front door. I don't want a driver."
"Sir," the servant replied without question.
Zechs rose from his chair in one fluid motion. Grabbing up his coat, he slipped into it as he walked towards the front door of the house. Cultured, reasonable arguments formed in Zechs' head as he walked, his words his weapons, tried and true. He had cut his teeth on diplomacy and Duo was an uncultured boy from L2. He didn't have any hope of standing up against Zechs'...
Zechs stopped dead in his tracks. He was facing a large, round table dominating the foyer of the house. On it was a blue vase filled with purple hyacinths the exact color of Duo's eyes.
"Stupid!" Zechs' growled at himself. "Duo won't fall for your tricks. He's not naive!"
Zechs snatched the hyacinths out of the vase and made a bundle of them in his arms. Duo wanted the truth, not pretty, trick phrases from a glib politician's mouth. Zechs knew that Duo wouldn't listen to anything else at that point, but the truth.
A servant was watching Zechs in trepidation. When he saw that Zechs noticed him, he went pale, stammering, "The cart is here, sir."
"Thank you," Zechs replied offhandedly as he swept past the man and out of the front door, not caring what the man thought of him.
Sliding into the driver's seat of the car, Zechs put the flowers on the seat beside him and then just sat, deep in thought. Something was wrong and it didn't take Zechs more than a few moments to know what that was.
Zechs whispered to himself, "There needs to be a goal, a prize, a reason for every battle. I need to state what that is or I will not win this."
Zechs gathered himself and his resolve and admitted out loud what he knew in his heart, admitted what he was willing to fight and change his life for. Distinctly and loudly he said, "I love, Duo Maxwell."
Duo cupped the woman's breasts and sank his nose into her cleavage. She giggled as she boldly put a hand on his crotch and rubbed.
"You're beautiful," Karen murmured into Duo's ear and nipped the lobe. "I wanted you since I first saw you."
She was so soft against him, Duo thought, so delicate seeming, but hot to the touch. A distinct, female scent was coming to him. He breathed it in, expecting it to give him the same reaction that he had felt with Zechs, a strong, sudden need and all encompassing possessiveness that told him, 'Here was his mate'. When nothing happened, Duo felt panic begin to set in.
Karen felt something change. She pushed Duo flat onto his back in the soft loam of the garden and climbed on top. She kept her face pressed close to his and then ground her pelvis against his... well, he didn't have an erection, Duo thought, panicking some more, and her erotic movements weren't even making him begin one.
"What's wrong, baby?" Karen asked petulantly. "Don't be nervous. This can't be your first time, can it?" Duo didn't say anything his face turning twenty shades of red and glad of the dim light. She smiled against his cheek. "It is, isn't it?" she purred now and said, "Don't worry, Mr. Maxwell, I'll get your flag to fly."
Karen began a slow rubbing movement of her body as she moved lower and lower, until she reached Duo's pelvis. When expert hands began unzipping Duo's fly, he found himself grabbing Karen's hands and pulling them away.
"I-I...," Duo fumbled for the words he didn't want to speak. Karen moved off of him and reclaimed her hands. She was frowning now.
"You're gay, aren't you?" Karen said bitingly. "Are you just playing with me then? Did Zechs not give you what you wanted? Did you think old Karen would get your pip squeak dick off instead?"
Karen stood up, hands on hips. "I thought maybe we could get something going," she continued icily. "I thought maybe we could hook up and we could both take advantage of Zechs while we had some fun together. I guess I should have known, with that long hair of yours, that you were getting some from Zechs as well as taking his money."
"I-," Duo didn't know what to say. He was too shocked.
Karen swayed to one hip and gave Duo a long, pointed look. "I could teach you to go both ways. Maybe you're just shy tonight? We could still have some fun, stay in that nice bungalow, and milk Zechs for all he's worth. You just keep batting those purple eyes at him and I'll teach you how to play the game to the hilt."
Duo found his tongue at last. "Go the fuck away."
Karen was very quiet and then she said cuttingly. "At least I CAN fuck." and then she was walking away and Duo was left sitting with his insides turning into an anguished knot.
"How embarrassing," Wu Fei's voice said out of the darkness.
Duo stiffened and then jumped to his feet as both Wu Fei and Heero came out into the dim light. "What the-," Duo stopped, surprised to see Wu Fei, but completely shocked to see Heero. "What's going on?" he wondered in a small, sickly voice.
"Gibson said that you were out here 'entertaining a lady," Wu Fei replied, saying the word, 'lady', with more derision than he gave 'entertaining'.
"And you wanted to join in?" Duo demanded, ready to sink into the ground in embarrassment.
Wu Fei crossed arms over his chest, paused for emphasis, and then replied, "It didn't seem that there was going to be anything to join in."
"What do you want?!" Duo demanded, measuring out each word furiously. "And what are you doing here, Heero?"
Wu Fei slid eyes at the impassive Heero. "This pathetic creature is who you think is worthy to share your life?"
Heero's jaw clenched.
"Look at him," Wu Fei continued viciously. "Rolling in the dirt with whores. He didn't even know that we were here. We could have killed the both of them. He isn't a soldier. He isn't disciplined. He's a weak onna who can't even defend himself against you. Look at him, crouching over his pains." Duo was hunched over his injuries. "He doesn't even care about honor or self respect. He lets us see where his weakness is."
Heero said nothing. Wu Fei became desperate for some response, some sign that he was making headway.
"Tell me, Heero Yuy," Wu Fei demanded. "Tell me why you want this weak thing in your apartment, in your life."
Heero's jaw clenched. He stared at Duo, narrowing eyes at him. Duo stared back, remembering Heero's violence, remembering that this man had almost, casually raped him as if it were necessary and right. Duo was suddenly afraid. He didn't know what was going on between Heero and Wu Fei, but he suddenly wanted as far away from them both as possible.
"My life is empty," Heero said at last, as if it were dragged from deep within him. "Duo fills that emptiness. Explain to me why that's so."
Duo started, amazed. What was Heero trying to say, that he loved him? Was he gay? Duo remembered the many women in Heero's life, the loud, almost animal sounds that had come from his room when he had brought them home. It didn't fit and Duo was confused.
Wu Fei sighed. He knew what to say now. Heero was his. "Heero, humans need companionship. You are lonely, that's all. Duo relieves that need for companionship in you the same way you need relief from sexual tension. You could get the same result from a cat or a dog."
Wu Fei faced Heero, blocking his view of Duo as he continued, "You focused on Duo as your solution, because you are single minded and he solved your problem. As for taking it to such an extreme as following him all the way here to 'reclaim' him, I think that has more to do with your grudge against Zechs and your pride. If you hadn't been so blinded by your anger that he had taken something away that belonged to you, you would have stopped this nonsense long ago and found another solution for your loneliness."
"That is logical," Heero grated.
"Yeah, " Duo said nervously. "Logical. Can I go now and leave you two-"
Heero drew his gun. Duo froze, wide eyed. Wu Fei dared and gripped the barrel. Heero turned his gaze to him, as Wu Fei had hoped.
"Do you love him?" Wu Fei asked, point blank. "Is that why you can't give him up?"
Heero sneered. "I should shoot you for suggesting that."
Wu Fei smiled. "I'm glad to know that you haven't lost your senses entirely." he pushed the gun down. "Let the braided fool go. Forget about him. He is ruining you, can't you see that? Get a pet, Heero, and refocus on your career and on yourself."
"A pet doesn't talk," Heero snapped back. "I require conversation."
"Really?" Duo couldn't help saying, startled. "You actually liked me babbling all day long?"
"It filled the silence," Heero replied, obviously hating that weakness and wishing he could root it out of himself somehow.
Wu Fei straightened, giving Heero his best, arrogant expression. "I am able to speak, intelligently. I am able to work side by side with you, perfecting us both. I don't require emotions or weak displays of friendship. I am the perfect companion for you. You will accept me, now, and you will transfer to the Sanq kingdom Preventer office so that we may work in tandem."
Heero flicked eyes from Duo to Wu Fei and Duo suddenly felt like an object of scorn, as if Heero had finally snapped out of whatever possessed mood he had been in and, like Zechs, had remembered what an undesirable, waste of space, low life Duo really was.
"Acknowledged," Heero said curtly as he holstered his gun. "And accepted"
Wu Fei bowed. As simply as that and then they were both walking away into the night as if Duo no longer existed.
Duo stared after them, blinked, and then fell to his knees and began pummeling the dirt and dead leaves with both his fists. When he was done venting his anger and his frustration, exhausted and aching, he sat back on his heels and tried to decide what to do. It didn't take long. It was obvious. He would simply do what he had always done when life ran him over and then backed up for good measure. He would run and leave it all behind.
Panting, Duo heaved himself back to his feet and made his slow way back to his bungalow. The pain ate at him with every step. He stopped more than once to simply lean against a convenient tree and brace himself for the next few yards.
At last, Duo stumbled through the door of his bungalow. He shouted for servants, but none came. Cursing that they were gone when he actually needed them for once, Duo steeled himself and made it to his bedroom. In the soft light of a lamp, Zechs sat on the end of his bed, a bundle of purple hyacinths on his knees and handsome face dark and pensive.
"What are you doing here?!" Duo demanded as he leaned against the door frame hugging his ribs.
Zechs scowled. "I came to apologize, but Gibson told me that you were tumbling one of the servant girls in the bushes."
"Isn't that what low class street trash does?" Duo snarled back, really hating Gibson. "Isn't that what you expected?"
Zechs' jaw clenched, but his blue eyes were steady and determined. "I came to apologize," he repeated.
"I think you meant what you said," Duo replied. "Why should you apologize for telling me the truth?"
Zechs almost retorted, but then his nostrils flared and he made an effort not to. He said quietly. "You were angry at me too. What were you thinking that you didn't say to me? Aristocratic bastard? Relena's poodle? Oz scum?"
Duo stared and then he laughed sarcastically. Zechs didn't join in. "Maybe you're right," Duo said. "Maybe I was thinking that. Maybe we both weren't honest about how we felt about each other."
Zechs nodded. "I am an aristocratic bastard. I am Relena's poodle. I won't admit to being Oz scum though."
Duo was quiet and then he said, surprising himself, "I am a street rat from L2 and ... I guess I am a tease. I knew what you wanted when you offered me dinner. I thought I could handle the situation, though, and keep it friendly. I guess moving onto the floor, and sprawling on a bunch of expensive pillows, wasn't the way to go about that when you have dinner with a gay man."
"No, it wasn't," Zechs replied. "But it was unforgivable of me to get so upset, to call you such names. I am sorry. It was just the suddenness of the rejection. I thought... I thought there was something...."
Duo straightened uncomfortably and looked away as he said self deprecatingly. "You're better off not getting mixed up with me anyway, Zechs. I'm a screw up. I can't get my life right. Nobody wants me around for long."
"Not even Karen?" Zechs asked.
Duo blushed deep red. "Gibson was wrong. We didn't do anything, so don't get mad about me getting under your servant girl's skirts."
Zechs let out a breath of relief he hoped wasn't noticeable. He put the flowers aside on the bed. "What are you going to do now?"
"Pack up and go," Duo replied. "What else?"
Zechs tensed again. "That's not what I meant. I meant, do you intend to bathe? You have dirt and leaves all over you."
Duo looked confused. "I guess I should." He grimaced. "Wouldn't want to look like a bum, even though I am one."
Duo made his way into the bathroom and shut the door. He locked it for good measure and then leaned against the sink. Zechs hadn't said anything to his last statement.
If more than two people think you're worthless, Duo thought, then it must be true. He showered, trying to wash away the dirt and the disappointment in himself. One he managed, but the other was sinking it's claws deep.
Duo dressed in the black pants and black shirt that he had discarded earlier for the fancy suit that Gibson had brought him. He felt more comfortable in his own clothes, in his own skin, Duo thought sourly. He had never fit in there, dressing so finely and living in luxury. It was time to go back where he belonged, where it didn't matter to anyone whether he was a failure or not, because everyone there was one too. L2 still had a place for him, he was sure.
Duo went back into the bedroom, grabbed up his box from where he had placed it in a corner, and began putting into it the few things that were really his. He didn't look at Zechs when the man said, "I want to talk to you."
"What's there to say?" Duo wondered sharply.
"Duo...."
Duo picked up his box and held it against him, not only against his aching ribs, but against his aching heart as well. "What is it? Spit it out. I have to go."
"Don't you care for me at all?" Zechs wondered softly.
"Care?" Duo echoed bitterly. "What do I even know about you?"
There was an awkward silence and then Zechs said. "I think you're hiding."
Duo refused to meet Zechs' eyes. He edged towards the door, feeling panic rising. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want anyone, even himself finding out...
"I heard, somewhere, that you never lie," Zechs said. "So, Duo Maxwell. Tell me that you don't care for me."
Duo lowered his head and hid behind his drying bangs. His braid fell forward and looped on top of the box in his hands. He stared at it, giving himself something to focus on. "Of course I d-"
"Will you go that far?" Zechs retorted, cutting him off. "Will you go that far to keep hiding from yourself?"
Duo swallowed hard. "What do you feel for me?" he demanded. "Can you tell me? I think you already did back at your estate house. I think-"
"I love you, Duo." Zechs said it quickly, a feint against a frontal assault.
"I'm not gay!" Duo retorted, panting, face flushing, not believing what he was hearing. Zechs didn't just say.... he couldn't have... no one loved him... No one could love him! He felt his heart constricting in his chest.
"Look at me," Zechs ordered in a strong, commanding voice. "If you look at me, and you still say that you don't feel anything, then you're right, you're not gay, Duo. I'll let you go. I'll let you walk out that door. I'll never bother you again."
The thought of Zechs doing that hurt. Duo closed his eyes tight against that loss, that heart rending thought; that he might never see Zechs again.
"LOOK AT ME!" Zechs snarled.
Duo looked and promptly dropped his box. It hit the floor hard at his feet. Zechs was stretched out nude on the bed, white skin, white hair, ice blue eyes glowing against the darker cover. The purple hyacinths were strewn all around him. He was the most beautiful creature Duo had ever seen. His reaction was instant. As his eyes traveled over Zechs' body, his own responded strongly.
Zechs gave a ghost of a smile, but he wasn't hoping yet. He reached down his long waist and touched his own arousal. He stroked it and lifted it, squeezing the tip. His eyes never left Duo's.
Duo shivered. He was riveted. All the women he had tried to bed had done nothing for him. Not once had he ever responded. Instead, he had felt at a loss, awkward, and wrong. He had never responded to them like he was responding to Zechs. It was all very clear suddenly and Duo couldn't deny it any longer. He wanted Zechs. Body and mind were in complete agreement.
"What do I do?" Duo asked in a very frightened voice.
"Come here," Zechs ordered, keeping his voice firm and confident. "I'll show you."
Duo was drawn by that confidence. He was floundering. He needed guidance. A strong hand. Someone to put his crumbling world back together again. He walked to the bed with leaden feet. When he was standing beside it, looking down at Zechs' languid body, he felt a shiver over take him again and his body responded so strongly it was painful.
Zechs' rose up onto his knees, his erection bobbing at attention. Duo's eyes were riveted to it. He licked his suddenly dry lips. "We don't have to do anything," Zechs told him, but Duo could hear the need in Zechs' tone. "We can just talk about this."
Duo began unbuttoning his shirt nervously. "I-I don't think I can talk any more. I think I have to- have to do something about this."
"All right, but you can say stop at any time and I will," Zechs assured him.
Duo was glad for that reassurance. He was feeling the bite of panic underneath his desire. It would be so easy to turn and run, so easy to forget that he had ever reacted this way to another man. And then what? His mind mocked. He couldn't be with women. Karen had proved that. Duo imagined a life time of celibacy stretching out before him. He winced. He couldn't live that way either. If he had to fall, if he had to do... it, then doing it with Zechs wasn't a bad way to lose his virginity.
Duo laughed. It was bordering on hysterical. Zechs raised a white eyebrow, but Duo shook his head, not wanting to share the thought. He pushed down his pants and slipped shoes and pants off. Standing naked, wounded, bruised, thin, and unlovely, he didn't think he was worth Zechs' time. His erection was only at half mast, uncertain now and embarrassed, certainly nothing to inspire awe. He was glad that Zechs didn't reach for him or do something crude.
Duo gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, crushing flowers. "K... what now?"
Zechs smiled. "Relax, for one. I'm not going to bite you. We'll take this slow and see what happens."
"Why?" Duo asked abruptly.
Zechs blinked. "Why what?"
Duo swallowed again and played with a flower. "Why do you want me? I'm-I'm not much to look at. I'm all messed up."
Duo looked up in time to see a smile as warm as the sun form on Zechs' face. It came to Duo then, that he had rarely ever seen Zechs smile. "Don't you know?" Zechs asked as if Duo were being dense. "You're beautiful."
Duo snorted. "I'm a guy! I'm handsome."
"Beautiful," Zechs insisted and Duo jumped and shivered when he ran a long finger along Duo's thigh. "I wanted you the moment I saw you."
Duo snorted again, but his voice trembled as he joked weakly, "You must have taken to many shocks in your Gundam."
Zechs' hand snaked around Duo's waist. The touch of his warm skin seemed to seep down to Duo's very soul. He felt again, just as he had when they had first kissed, that 'soul meeting soul' feeling. It overwhelmed him and he didn't protest when Zechs pulled him down and pressed their bodies together.
"Let me show you," Zechs whispered in Duo's ear. "How wonderful it can be."
It was strange. Duo couldn't stop being nervous, or trembling against the larger man, even though Zechs was gentle and spoke encouragingly. Zechs' hands were smooth, the hands of an aristocrat. Duo's hands were rough, a laborer's hands. He felt bad for Zechs, having to feel his harsh callouses as he dared to reach out and touch the Lightning Count as the man was touching him.
That's all they did for the longest time, just touch, allowing Duo to relax and to grow comfortable with the man beside him, enough, maybe, to go further. When Zechs pushed it to the next level, Duo was ready and waiting. He wanted more. He had an insane desire to taste that smooth skin under his hands, to nuzzle and breathe in Zechs' scent. He was shy though. He held back, letting Zechs break the final barrier of reluctance.
Zechs leaned forward and gently took Duo's nipple into his mouth. Duo felt a tingle go from that nipple all the way through his body. He warmed and flushed as he felt Zechs' tongue rasp roughly and then the pull of lips and the hint of teeth. Zechs hummed appreciatively as he suckled, as if he were tasting honey.
"So good!" Duo managed, tossing his head back and groaning. The motion caused his body to arch against Zechs. He felt the man's rock hard erection. He must be in pain, Duo thought, more so than himself. Zechs, at least knew what he wanted and what was in store for him. Duo dared and put his hand on it. He was surprised and embarrassed, when Zechs pushed his hand away.
"Not yet," Zechs breathed around his nipple. "I'm saving that for something special. Let me please you first."
Zechs played. Duo groaned and writhed under his ministrations. The sensations, the utter feeling of, 'This is right! This is what I've always wanted without knowing it!' throbbed through Duo's brain and body as he almost came again and again. Each time though, Zechs backed off, rose to kiss and to caress his face until the feeling of impeding explosion died, before beginning again.
"Zechs!" Duo groaned at last. "You're not torturing me for information! Do something, now, or I'm going to go crazy!"
"One might think you were gay, Duo Maxwell," Zechs chuckled as he squeezed Duo's ass.
Duo fumbled for words, fumbled to deny, even after everything he had just experienced, but then, he let out a long, shuddering breath. "Okay! I'm gay! I want you! I want you to make me come! Now! Okay? Happy? Man! You are the King of Tease, Zechs! Not me!"
Zechs frowned mockingly. "Me, a tease? Very soon, you won't think that at all."
Duo grew nervous again. Zechs rose up on his knees and opened a drawer in the side table. He pulled out a small tube. "Good, still here," Zechs said and Duo wondered about the other men and women Zechs had tumbled in the bungalow. It made him feel a little bitter, but then something inside of him, that was used to disappointment, shrugged. Even if Zechs had been lying about loving him, at least he was getting this experience out of the man before he was tossed out as used goods.
"Stop thinking that," Zechs said abruptly. Duo blinked up at him, confused. He gestured at Duo with the tube. "What did you think this was? It's petroleum jelly for the lips. I think it will do for my purposes." He leaned down close to Duo and gave him a deep, tonguing kiss. When he broke it, his eyes bored into Duo's. "It's true I've been with many people, Duo, but I didn't lie when I said I loved you. I've never told anyone that. I've never trusted anyone with my heart before. So, you, see, we are on equal ground. You are a virgin of the body and I am a virgin of the heart. Let's both be gentle with each other, all right?"
Duo nodded numbly, wondering what purpose Zechs had in mind and beginning to guess. When Zechs squeezed some of the jelly out onto his fingers, Duo grabbed his wrist, eyes wide and on the verge of panic.
"I don't think I want to do that, Zechs," Duo said and then added in an uncertain, begging voice. "I, uh, maybe we could just... I'm not sure what gay guys do, but I've heard people say things.... I could...," he blushed deeply and looked away. He was afraid to say it and yet he felt a violent urge to do just what he was thinking.
"Trust me,' Zechs whispered and ran kisses along Duo's neck as his lubed fingers found Duo's entrance.
Duo tensed at once. "Nn, Zechs! I really don't want-" he stopped protesting as Zechs' fingers began a circular motion that was half scratch and half rub.
Zechs smiled at Duo's sudden look of intense enjoyment. "I can stop. Is that what you want?"
"Uh," Duo panted and he found his hips moving back into Zechs' fingers despite himself. "Nuh, don't- don't stop. S'okay."
Zechs kept rubbing as he watched Duo's face in the throes of pleasure, his half closed, purple eyes almost glowing with the intensity of what he was feeling, the exact color of the flowers strewn under and around them both. He was beautiful, Zechs thought and he felt a sudden, protective, possessive, loving mixture of emotions that was both strong and accepted. The battle was won and he was the victor, but it wasn't a battle any more, and had never really been one. Instead of fighting and forcing Duo to his will, he had ended up begging, pleading; a supplicant at Duo's feet. He had done it willingly, Zechs thought, and he would do it again, and a lot more, to have Duo in his arms and in his heart.
Zechs felt Duo relax and open. It was time. Very gently, he pushed in a finger. Duo jumped and started out of his daze of pleasure. Before he could protest, Zechs began to rub and to move that finger in and out.
"Just that," Duo whispered hoarsely as pleasure hit him again. "D-Don't do anything else, k?"
"Just that," Zechs agreed. He worked Duo with his finger, stopping when Duo was close to coming. Duo swore at him, growled, even begged, but Zechs remained deaf, swatting Duo's hands away when he finally sought to relieve his own need. "Patience," Zechs told him. "Patience, Sweet."
"Nicknames already?" Duo panted. "W-What should I call you? Snowy? Pookie? Honey Bear! God!!"
"None of that," Zechs chuckled as he touched a sensitive spot in Duo. Duo writhed in his arms, eyes rolling up in his head. "I'm sure you'll think of something better."
"If I live!" Duo gasped.
Zechs breathed hot air into Duo's ear. Duo shivered. "It's better with two fingers."
"I-Is it?" Duo stammered. "It gets better?"
"Shall I?"
"Y-Yeah!"
Zechs worked in another finger. Duo shuddered and then relaxed. Again he fell into a daze as Zechs worked him into a frenzy of need. Duo couldn't believe that he was allowing this, allowing another man to work him with two fingers in his ass. He couldn't have stopped Zechs though, if his life depended on it. Zechs had made him utterly helpless with pleasure. He was at the man's mercy. Keep doing it, his mind screamed, finish it! Do more! More!
"You can... Zechs..., "Duo fumbled against embarrassment, "I think... if you want to... This feels so good! If two fingers feels like this... If you want to be on top...."
Zechs smiled. "Do you want me to fuck you, Duo Maxwell?"
"That's blunt!" Duo exploded with what little breath he had left, but then, in a small voice, he said, "Yeah. Do it. I might as well go all the way and get it over with."
"You're bold for a virgin," Zechs laughed and then more seriously. "I think that I am somewhat larger than two fingers. There will be some pain."
Duo's face pinched and he began to reconsider. "Pain?" he echoed.
"There is a tight ring of muscle to pass," Zechs explained simply. "Relaxing is the key. Once past that and it can be... very... pleasurable." Zechs licked the curve of Duo's ear.
"But, until then...," Duo turned his head, caught, and held Zechs' eyes with his own. "How much pain?"
"It depends on your sensitivity," Zechs soothed him. "Not worse than your ribs, but more than a paper cut."
"You'll stop if I say?" Duo reconfirmed.
"Always," Zechs promised and meant it.
"Okay," Duo agreed in a small voice. "What do I have to do?"
Zechs slid his fingers out of Duo and Duo felt their loss. "Relax," Zechs told him, "and enjoy."
Duo stared at Zechs' cock, measuring the width with his eyes. He wasn't sure how it was going to fit. It was wider than two fingers and it look hard, bobbing between Zechs' legs as Zechs slid down Duo's body and kneeled between Duo's legs.
"I'm going to hold you up by your hips and slide in," Zechs explained. "I can't lie on top or I'll hurt your injuries. Remember. Relax. You must relax and let me in."
"K," Duo said with a short nod and tried to breathe normally and not think about this giant step he was about to take. An hour ago, he had been so sure of his sexuality. An hour ago he couldn't have imagined himself letting Zechs pull his ass into his lap in preparation to fuck him. Now, he was assisting Zechs, opening his legs as if he were as loose as Karen and just as eager for a hot tumble and a man between his legs.
Duo blushed and turned his face into the pillow, suddenly ashamed and doubting the sanity of what he was doing. Zechs waited, poised. Duo became aware of it , aware of the man's concern for him and his willingness to back off if Duo asked.
"Do you really love me?" Duo asked, feeling like a fool, like a young virginal girl needing the reassurance of some randy boy who's only intention was to tell her anything necessary to score.
Zechs reached across his body and grabbed his chin. He pulled Duo's head around and made him look at him. His blue eyes were very intense. "Don't doubt me. Not now."
"It's just hard to believe," Duo said softly. A tear escaped his eye. He felt stupid when Zechs brushed it off with the tip of his finger and then kissed it with his sensuous lips.
"Believe it," Zechs replied. He lifted Duo's ass higher and then Duo felt it, that impossibly wide, round tip at his entrance. "Let me in, Sweet."
"I-I'll try," Duo gasped and then squeezed his eyes shut and tried to relax.
The tip massaged Duo's entrance, rubbing more lube there copiously. When it began to push in, Duo squirmed at the sudden, shocking pain, and tried to back away. Zechs' hand were tight on the globes of his ass, holding him still.
"It's too big!" Duo protested. "THAT is not going in me!"
"It will," Zechs promised and then with a teasing smile, "I haven't even started, Duo! I thought you were trained to withstand pain."
"Yeah, for a good reason!" Duo shot back, flushing hotly, "To withstand torture not have a guy stick his cock up my ass!"
Zechs' face hardened and his hands tightened. "I can stop."
Duo swallowed, remembering Wu Fei calling him weak. He said, hesitantly, "The pain will stop? It will feel good, eventually?"
The hard expression on Zechs' face softened. "Even a virgin woman feels some pain, Duo, but yes, it will feel good, eventually."
Duo looked at Zechs, at his slim, yet steely strong body. He felt again that rush of need and want, that desire to bury his nose against Zechs' silky skin and breathe in his scent. It was all he could do not to crush Zechs against him, despite his injuries and the pain it would cause.
"I do want you," Duo whispered and then closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip. "Do it."
"My brave, Sweet," Zechs breathed and began pushing in again.
Duo bit down on whimpers. His body cringed and tried to back away again. Zechs held him in place, pushing, stretching, causing stinging pains and shocking aches that thundered through every nerve in Duo's body. Finally, that hard rod of flesh stopped and Duo felt his ass pressed up against Zechs' pelvis.
Duo felt as if he were strangling on the pain and he felt stretched impossibly wide. Every instinct within him told him to get the intruder out. "Out!" He hissed. "Zechs! Please take it out! Hurts!"
Zechs reached up Duo's body and caressed his cheek. Duo knew there were tears in his eyes. He was on the verge of blubbering like a baby. He was ashamed of himself, but he couldn't help feeling that he had made a terrible mistake. This couldn't be right, this pain, he thought, what he was trying to do was harming him. It wasn't natural. Zechs didn't belong inside of him like that.
"If I pull out," Zechs replied breathlessly, every muscle clenched as he tried with all of his willpower not to come inside of Duo's incredible tightness. "If I pull out, " he repeated, "It will hurt MORE, not LESS, Duo."
Duo couldn't help a whimper. "Why is that?"
"I'm through the ring of muscle," Zechs replied. "If you make me back out now, I'll have to go through it again. Patience, Sweet. Wait. Relax. I'm going to start moving. It will release your endorphins. You'll stop feeling the pain then."
"No," Duo panted. "Don't move! Please don't move, Zechs!"
"Trust me," Zechs replied. "Please trust me, Duo."
Duo could only give Zechs a sickly nod, not sure what else he could do. He felt trapped, invaded. He had an irrational urge to claw at Zechs, and instinctive impulse to defend himself.
Zechs moved. At first, it didn't lessen the pain. Duo moaned and whimpered, but, before he could forget all common sense and begin to panic completely, the pain suddenly took a downward step... and then another... and then yet another until it was barely noticeable. What replaced it made Duo shudder and forget all about fighting Zechs.
"Hnn! Zechs!" Duo moaned and felt his cock go rock hard as Zechs touched something deep inside of him with the tip of his cock. Sudden pleasure replaced the pain, a rubbing, scratching in a place he could never reach before, pleasure that had Duo writhing again and clawing at the blanket as if he needed it as a lifeline.
"Like that, Sweet?" Zechs purred. "See, I kept my word."
Duo's muscles relaxed and stretched, finally, and Zechs was moving in and out of him more easily. His cock took on a rhythm and Duo found himself lifting his legs, wanting it to touch that spot within him again. It shocked him, that involuntary motion. He was being fucked, Duo thought hazily. He was being fucked by another man and he was loving it. It wasn't wrong anymore. They fit together perfectly. Duo had never felt so right in his entire life.
Zechs found that magic spot again and angled his thrusts to touch it and rub it with the head of his cock. Duo arched his back and thrashed, crying out. Zechs held him with a grip that was surely bruising his ass. Duo didn't care. He only cared about the building pressure with in him, a pressure that felt so strong that Duo was afraid.
Duo tried to push away again, but his body was contrary. While his mind began to run in little circles, wondering if an orgasm could be strong enough to kill, his body was opening his legs wider, inviting harder thrusts, inviting Zechs' pelvis closer and Zechs' slim belly to rub against his swollen, purple cock.
Zechs ignored Duo's pushing hands and took the invitation of Duo's body. He leaned forward, pelvis slapping into Duo in a rutting, rapid motion. While one strong hand held Duo against him in an iron grip, his other hand took hold of Duo's cock.
"Uhn!" Duo whimpered, meaning no, a last denial that he didn't mean at all. It was a last cry against what was about to happen, an exclamation of fear. The orgasm hit him shortly after that and Duo's 'uhn' turned into a scream.
The orgasm was indescribable. Zechs had stoked the fire of the volcano expertly, building the flames until they had become a contained inferno. The final eruption arched Duo off of the bed as he splattered hot seed over them both. He collapsed at once afterwards, every muscle loose, ever nerve singing. Sparks and stars danced in front of his eyes as Zechs came too, his hot fluid shooting against Duo's outraged flesh and a rubbed raw prostate. Duo twitched at the new sensation, every nerve overloaded.
"Duo, Sweet?" Zechs said softly into Duo's ear some time later.
Duo pried open an eye. "Did I actually pass out?" he croaked.
Zechs was stretched out beside him on the bed, on his stomach, creamy ass displaying perfectly rounded globes. Duo found his shaking hand running over them, marveling at how soft every part of Zechs was despite his muscles and masculine physique. With his white hair tumbled about him and his face relaxed and loving, Zechs could have passed for a sensuous woman. Duo pushed that thought out of his mind. It wasn't a woman he wanted and he didn't need to think of Zechs that way.
Very slowly, Duo touched a finger to Zechs' entrance. He pushed in, just a little. Zechs looked at Duo in surprise. Duo smirked. "When I'm healed up, and my ass isn't feeling like Gundam flew up it, I'm going to see what it's like on the other end." Zechs's face went very still. Duo prodded with his words. "Well, you wouldn't order your men to do something you wouldn't do, would you?"
Zechs sighed and then smiled. "No, I wouldn't. It's just that it's been a long time..." he trailed off and went distant.
"Who was it?" Duo asked, feeling a prick of jealousy coupled with his concern.
"Treize," Zechs replied as if the memory were unpleasant. "We've both done things in our life that we aren't proud of, it seems."
Duo pulled Zechs close to him and he liked the wave of protectiveness that came over him as he stroked the man's white hair and kissed his lips. When Zechs put arms around him and responded to the kiss, Duo felt that he could live forever just like that, forever immersed in passion and...
"I just found it," Duo said suddenly, breaking off the kiss.
Zechs almost pouted. "Found what?" he asked and then wickedly, "The will to try it again?"
Duo winced. His ass was hurting a lot. "No, not that," he said with mock irritation and then smiled. "I was told that my life would always be messed up until I found one thing."
"What was that?" Zechs asked, curious.
"The Point," Duo replied and then nuzzled along Zechs' neck. "A reason for living my life right; a reason for not wallowing in depression and letting it destroy me."
Zechs felt his heart constrict, not daring to hope. "And you found it?" he said in a small voice, trying to remain calm. "You found what the point to you life is?"
"Yes," Duo replied and let it hang.
"Well!" Zechs retorted in exasperation and anticipation. "Tell me what it is!"
Purple eyes met blue ones. Zechs felt himself drawn into them, soul touching soul, as Duo replied, "It's you, Zechs. I-I love you. I want to spend forever with you, in this moment, in this bed, having our first time together forever. You can be the point of my life, if you let me, if you can look past the fact that I'm nobody, an orphan, an ex thief, a worthless, weak-"
Zechs put a finger against Duo's lips. "That's not who you are anymore, Duo. If you can forget that I'm a jaded, spoiled, aristocrat, and Relena's poodle, I know we can start fresh and make a new life for ourselves together."
Duo felt the tears. He searched Zechs' face suspiciously, but found only honesty and an answering tear in Zechs' eyes. "Okay, from now on, two soldiers from the war are missing in action, lost, never recovered, forgotten. Duo and Zechs just met on a lovely beach in South America. Duo was sunbathing in a skimpy speedo and Zechs was wandering by looking for...,"
"Beautiful men in speedos," Zechs chuckled, falling into the game that really wasn't a game.
"Uhm, the other half of his soul, his one true love, the other half of himself," Duo corrected and his eyes told Zechs that he meant those words. "When he saw the HANDSOME man sunbathing, he knew at once that he had found that person."
Zechs smiled warmly and cupped Duo's face gently in his hand. Nose almost touching nose, he finished, "And they fell in love, and were as one, until the end of their days."
"Until the end of their days," Duo echoed and kissed Zechs for all that he was worth.
********Owari*********
Wahhhh! Kleenex! I'm sobbing like a silly onna.
Well, this is the end of the series. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. BWAHAHAHA! On to the next arc! :)