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Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Mention of NCS, graphic, violence, language
Birthday fic request for 1x2x5, ncs, mission gone wrong, get together fic.
Bad to Good
Life changes, sometimes drastically, when it's least expected. I expected to stay with my partner, Heero Yuy, in Preventers for most of my life. I had skills, I had a duty, and I had found a love for my work that I hadn't expected. Heero simply couldn't imagine any other life than one where he was fighting.
Duo was another matter. An oddity; our room mate seemed content to drift from one job to another, eating up his war time settlement, without a plan or a desire to have one. It infuriated me when I allowed myself to consider it, but, I had to admit, it gave the man ample time to care for our small house and to have things prepared for us when we left and when we arrived home from our missions. He knew all of our 'ways' and surprised me by being a very tolerable house mate. Heero found other pleasures with him, of course, though their relationship seemed a casual thing. I saw friendship, quiet and sure, but not a great passion or a need to be forever in each other's company. Duo was self contained and Heero was even more so. They slept in separate rooms, had separate schedules, and reserved nights of 'togetherness' for odd times that never had a rhyme or reason, except that they were both 'free' and 'in the mood'.
Sometimes, I envied them, but other times, a good book and hot tea were enough for me. Perhaps my libido was non-existent, but I comforted myself by telling myself I was simply waiting for someone as compatible.
One terrible night, Heero and I had come home to find Duo not home. Our lives had changed as suddenly as that. A threatening note, a few spots of blood, and we had raced into the night to rescue our friend. It hadn't been reasonable, but a man isn't reasonable when he realizes how much he loves someone, and how much he can't bear the thought of that someone coming to harm. It wasn't just Heero who had that particular epiphany, that night, it had been me as well.
We had made all the classic mistakes, ended up bound and at the mercy of Duo's kidnappers, and told that it had all been a ruse to force us to divulge the Preventer air security grid codes. That would have left Earth vulnerable to space, so, of course, it had been something that we couldn't do. When they had dragged Duo into the room to join us, and had made us watch them brutalize him, I am not ashamed to say that I nearly broke and gave them whatever they wished. Duo's eyes, though, had pleaded with me not too, even while Heero and I had been forced to watch them defile him in every way.
If there is a hell, I want to go there when I die, so that I may torment those devils through eternity for their crimes. Heero sent them there, freeing himself too late to save our Duo, but before Preventers found us and kept him from killing everyone there. Two bullets barely slowed him and those men were carried out in pieces.
Duo had been ashamed to his core, that we had witnessed his torture, his rape, and his helplessness. He had spent time in a hospital, at first, and had been released long before we thought was wise. He had talked of finding a place to live, but we had both known that he couldn't afford one. Not having any choice, but to come home with us, hadn't made anyone happy. We hadn't wanted Duo forced into any situation ever again. With that in mind, we allowed him to keep his long silences and to spend most of his time locked behind his bedroom door. We talked of therapy when he did make an appearance, talked of outings, and tried to convince him that we had never been ashamed of him. It had been like talking to one's self.
I had expected Heero to breach his wall first. They had been lovers, after all, but I was the one who finally grew tired of speaking through closed doors and demanded entrance. I was very surprised when that door opened and a shadow of our Duo peered out at me.
"Let me in," I begged.
Duo looked over my shoulder, maybe searching for Heero, but then he backed away, hunched in on himself, and I was allowed to see what he had been doing all of that time. The window had been blocked so that light barely penetrated. The bed looked well slept in, by a man who couldn't sleep. The sheets were tortured and the blankets were half strewn on the floor. I wasn't shocked by the empty bottles of alcohol. I could smell it on his breath.
"What have you been thinking about?" I wondered in the barest of whispers.
He shrugged, like a nervous tick. "I keep feeling their hands on me. It burns. The way they laughed...I keep hearing it. One of them burned me with his cigarette. I can still smell it... and them. I want it to stop." He shivered and scrubbed a hand along one of his arm.
"Come with me," I said. He peered at me as if he couldn't see well, but I didn't see distrust in his expression and that was one mercy. "You need to think about something else."
He still walked stiffly and I didn't want to think about why he hurt. Spinal damage from... I shied from it mentally, but kept my expression gentle as I coaxed him outside into the sunlight.
We hadn't been able to leave him alone, giving up our positions and spending our settlements from the war to see to his peace and comfort. We had given him security by that scarifice, I realized, but not an escape from his pain. Standing in the back yard of our home, I led him into the bright midday sun, and he blinked at it as if he had forgotten that it existed.
Duo didn't need to talk. He didn't need therapy. He needed to know that there was something else, something that didn't hurt. I watched him stand there and simply breathe in the outside world. He held out his arms as if the sunlight's warmth was burning away those foul touches that he had endured. I think I heard a sigh of contentment, but I wasn't sure. Sunlight couldn't give him peace, but it could gentle some of the pain.
Heero and I had come to an understanding. We both loved Duo and we could do that together, even if all he needed from us now was to know that we were there as friends and security. I heard a rustle, turned, and saw Heero cautiously watching us from the doorway, knowing better than to disturb Duo with his presence. I nodded to him and he nodded back. It was a pact. A vow. We were done with all missions except one; Duo Maxwell's healing and happiness. I could live my life, well content with that.
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