Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence.
Tiger Lilies
Out of the Dream
"Heero?" Duo lay side by side with Heero on the lower bunk. "Afternoon naps are nice, but I have a lot of work to do. Those supplies should be coming in soon too, so if you... you know... had anything else in mind..." He blushed and fell silent.
Heero looked deeply into Duo's eyes and then kissed him lightly on the lips. "Duo, I want you to trust me."
Duo blinked. "I do, Heero. Why do you think that I don't?"
Heero smiled nervously, trying to reassure him as he replied, "Because, what I'm about to do may seem... strange."
"Strange?" Duo almost frowned, but then he gave Heero's body a very quick flick of his eyes and his expression went tense instead. "Uh, Heero... if you're going to tell me that you want to... do... something.... different... Uh..."
Heero snorted in irritation. "Duo, it's nothing like that."
"Oh." Duo's blush deepened and then he bulled forward, "Then tell me and get it over with."
Heero pulled out a pen light. "I need to shine this in your eyes."
Duo did frown then. "A light? In my eyes? Why?"
"It won't hurt you," Heero assured him.
Duo reached out and pulled a wild lock of Heero's hair. "I know that! But, why?"
"If it works, I'll explain then," Heero replied.
"Not before?"
"No."
"Heero...." Duo sighed. "Okay, it's just a light. Knock yourself out, then I have to get back to work"
"Thank you." Heero stroked a hand along Duo's arm and then supported himself on one elbow as he aimed his light."Don't blink," he warned.
Duo snorted. "You sound just like Dr. G..." He stopped speaking and looked as if he had tasted something bad. "Let's not go there. He's not someone I really want to think about."
"Relax," Heero told him and began to flicker his penlight, following the pattern he had seen Dr. G use.
Duo went very still, staring.
"You don't want to build Tiger Lily unless that's what you want to do," Heero told him. "You can do anything that you like, anytime that you wish. You don't have to plan to build Tiger Lily unless that's what you want to do. You can go anywhere and do anything that you wish to do."
Heero turned off his light.
"Duo?"
Duo blinked, frowned, and then suddenly latched lips onto Heero's. One of his hands slipped straight into the waistband of Heero's pants and grabbed him firmly. "Undress," Duo told him. "I want you, now. I want to see you naked and on top of me. I want to make love to you until we both can't stand up."
Heero struggled under Duo's assault. "Duo!" he protested.
"Hmm?" Duo hummed as he began unfastening Heero's pants.
Heero caught his hands. Duo bumped his erection against Heero's pelvis and then ground it wildly. Heero scrambled up and off the bed. Duo followed, stripping out of his clothes as he moved.
"What's wrong, Heero?" Duo demanded impatiently. "Don't you want me to-" his offer was both crude, graphic, and gave Heero an immediate erection. "I want to," Duo insisted. "I want you."
"I've made a mistake," Heero breathed, understanding suddenly. He had just told Duo to do anything that he wished. It seemed that Duo wanted sex. He had replaced one compulsion with another.
Duo tackled him. They both hit the floor hard, Duo half naked and Heero's pants in danger of being taken off by Duo's eager hands. Heero was confident that he was stronger than Duo, but he had to wonder, if he hadn't been, whether this would have been a rape. Duo didn't seem able to hear him, completely willing to fulfill his own desire despite what Heero wanted.
Heero grabbed Duo, rolled, and pinned him down to the floor. With one arm against Duo's throat, Duo struggling to get free, he used his free hand to take out the penlight again and flash it into Duo's eyes. He thought frantically, trying to think of the right thing to say.
Duo relaxed, staring. Heero took a steadying breath, and then said, "Duo, delete Tiger Lily programming. Duo, delete all recent suggestions."
Heero turned off the penlight and waited.
Duo blinked. Blinked again. He said at last, hoarsely, "What the hell is going on?"
Heero sat up and let Duo go. Duo scrambled away and grabbed a pipe from a pile of them near one wall. He hefted it as he struggled to his feet, half naked and vulnerable looking. There was pain and betrayal in his expression.
"Duo, please let me explain," Heero begged.
"Explain on the dam vid phone after you get the hell out of here!" Duo snarled. "What did I do to make you want to force me like that?"
"I didn't-" Heero began, but then he stopped. He had awakened Duo from a long sleep only it now looked as if Duo's 'Prince Charming' had been about to rape him. Any explanation about mental compulsions by a long dead Dr. G was going to sound pathetic.
"I invited you here because I thought we could have something together," Duo shouted at him. "I guess you were just looking for a quick screw and you got pissed when I didn't put out quick enough!"
"That's not true! " Heero shouted back. "I... I love you, Duo."
"You gotta weird way of showing it, freak. " Duo threatened with the pipe again. "I told you to get the hell out!"
Heero took only long enough to grab his laptop. He left everything else behind as he quickly headed for the door. A few steps outside, he turned to face Duo standing warily well away from him. "You'll see," Heero told him. "Look at everything that you've been doing for the past years, Duo. When you've calmed down, and you want your questions answered, you know my number."
"There isn't any explanation for what you tried to do. Get out!" Duo shouted and he slammed the metal door closed behind Heero with a clang and the grate of a metal lock sliding into place.
Heero returned home, feeling hollow, wondering if he had just experienced the end of his future. Without Duo, he could only see a long march of years alone. He knew that he couldn't replace Duo with someone else. Duo was in his soul, was a part of it, had intertwined himself into the core of his being. Even if Duo never realized what had happened, and never forgave him, it wouldn't matter. Heero had found his place and it was at Duo's side.
He waited by the phone. Refusing to do anything that might make him miss Duo's call... if he called. Two days crawled by while he didn't bathe, didn't eat, and ignored everything around him. He memorized every scratch and blemish on the vid phone's surface before it finally rang.
Heero stared in disbelief for three rings, before he decided that he wasn't hallucinating. He hit the reply button and almost fell out of his chair and onto the floor in relief when Duo's frowning face appeared.
Duo said slowly, "Heero.... I need to know.... I tried talking to Quatre... He called after you left. I... He said some things and I... saw some things... I'm kind of... confused." He grimaced as if he had made a mistake, as if that word hardly touched on the surface of what he felt.
It was all Heero could do, not to blurt out the entire story at once. That wouldn't help Duo. It wouldn't calm his obvious fear.
"Did Quatre say anything to you?" Heero asked first.
Duo's jaw worked and then he ground out, "After I got through yelling about you, yeah. He said that I had to talk to you, that I knew better what kind of man you were.... I... I thought I knew you. Now... I feel like I'm wrong, somehow, but I don't know how I can be."
"Duo, do you remember hacking into one of Quatre's companies and funneling credits?" Heero asked.
Duo's face went white. He said in a small, tight voice, "Is that why? You found out about that and you thought... " His eyes were full of pain and some shame. "Guess if you act like street trash, someone's going treat you like it."
"Duo," Heero continued, refusing to be distracted, refusing to defend himself. "Do you remember Dr. G promising you that you would never have to steal again?"
Duo frowned, even more confused now. "Uh... y...yeah. Long time ago. How...?"
"Dr. G recorded everything that he did, including the sessions where you were injected with experimental drugs," Heero told him.
"What's this have to do with what happened with us?!" Duo finally demanded, eyes glaring into the vidscreen now.
"Everything," Heero replied. "He wasn't experimenting, Duo, he was giving you a mental compulsion. He uploaded a program into the ether that would deploy if you ever hacked into important systems. You tripped it while you were funneling credits from Quatre's company."
"Compulsion?" Duo leaned into the monitor. He didn't doubt the possibility, or doubt that G had been capable of it. "That bastard! If he was alive, I'd kill him again! Is that why I'm living in this ships' parts graveyard? Is that why I have a freakin ships' hull outside my door? Is that why I have design notes all over the walls like some lunatic? That... freakin'... sonofa.... motherfu... " He went suddenly silent, hand fisted at his mouth and body held in a tight clench. Finally, he took a shuddering breath and asked in a small voice, "How long?"
When Heero told him he closed his eyes in pain.
"I tried to help you," Heero told him. "Quatre helped me find the recordings that Dr. G made. I found how he had given you the compulsion. I... I tried to remove it through the same method. I told you... That you could do what you wanted to do."
Duo's eyes flew open and his face turned red. He lowered his hand and said breathlessly, "I did something... didn't I? Something that I wanted to do."
Heero nodded. "I made a mistake. I should have just deleted programming. Instead, I implemented my own. You...made advances towards me... sexually."
"And when I 'woke up' you were trying to stop me," Duo breathed. "Heero...." Duo was suddenly cutting the connection and turning away, unable to continue.
Heero stared at the blank screen. He had seen utter despair on Duo's face before the connection ended. He tried to call Duo back and wasn't surprised when he didn't answer. The fear that Duo might do something terrible in his despair, had Heero flinging himself toward his front door and flipping open his cell phone to call a cab. He closed his phone in the next instant, when he passed a window and saw workers fixing ether feeds that had been damage in the storm. Balanced on platforms along the outside wall, they had a small, hover cart to take them up and down the building for supplies.
Heero opened the window's seal and it hissed open into a service position. Heero squeezed out as an alarm sounded, letting people know of the unauthorized breech. He jumped the space between the window and the service cart, a five foot span ten stories up. He landed hard. The cart rocked and almost threw him out, but he held on and was in the driver's seat with the same smooth execution he had prided himself on during the war. Dropping the ships security tether, he ignored the shouts of the workers as he revved the engine and raced the vehicle towards the far rim of the station... and Duo.
He reached Duo's home in record time, but Heero's fear made it seem as if it had taken an eternity. Landing the cart in a skid of metal, barely missing a vent housing, Heero leapt down and ran into the building. He frantically searched every room, adrenalin making his heart race, but Duo wasn't there. Hitting the back door with the heel of his hand, Heero sent it spinning off it's hinges with a loud report of metal separating from screws. He ran to the skeleton of the ship and took the steps up to the half finished deck Twisting around and around, Heero looked for some sign of Duo.
"Heero!" The voice came from high above Heero. He craned his neck and blinked against the bright over head lights of the station. Seated on a scaffolding, at the very top arch of a hull strut, was Duo. In a dirty t-shirt and a ragged pair of jeans, he was slumped, braid trailing off the platform and into space, where it was swinging slightly. If he jumped... Heero calculated height, gravity, and the hard deck in the space between one breath and the next. From that height, Duo would die.
Heero cautiously climbed the scaffolding. The breeze from the ventilation stirred his hair and plucked at his clothing. He watched Duo carefully as he approached, not wanting to startle Duo into doing something rash. Duo was grimacing and looking embarrassed, one hand rubbing up and down his arm. He didn't look suicidal, Heero concluded, but he didn't let his guard down as he reached the platform and inched on to it.
"Duo," Heero said softly as he settled on his knees. "Please... let's talk about this."
Duo shyly nodded, but then he gathered his knees in his arms and pulled them against his chest. A defensive gesture.
"May I... come closer?" Heero asked. When Duo nodded again, he crept forward until only a foot separated them. He settled again. "When you hung up the vid phone... I was afraid," Heero admitted.
Duo lifted a thumb and chewed on the nail. "Is that why you were riding a service cart? Someone's gonna be mad about that."
"Doesn't matter," Heero told him. "I would have stolen anything
to reach you."
Duo looked him in the eyes then, curious and intense. "Heero... I don't
know what to say... how to..." He laughed, but it was dark. "That's
why I hung up, fresh out of words to explain this level of screwdupness. I climbed
up here to get some air and to get a handle on..." He motioned at all the
parts and the ship, "... all of this. I can believe that rat bastard G
could do this, but... years? I could have been doing a lot of other things besides...
this."
"Duo," Heero asked, "Why did you steal money from Quatre? That set all of this in motion."
Duo sighed and ran fingers through his bangs. "I guess I was bored. I tried a few things... Didn't work out. I had this crazy idea that I needed to make some sort of difference, but, it's kind of hard when you're flat broke. I thought Quatre could spare it, right?"
"Duo, that money belongs to many people, not just to Quatre," Heero explained.
Duo thought that over. "I guess I should have just tapped into Quatre's personal accounts then."
"Duo!" Heero growled, but Duo was smiling, even though it was hard edged.
"I know, Heero, I'm not stupid," Duo assured him. "I made sure I skimmed off funds that were earmarked for someone who'd never miss it."
Heero frowned. "Duo, it's still stealing, and I think Dr.G was afraid of this very thing."
"So he made sure I served time," Duo replied angrily, "because he knew nobody would catch me."
"He made sure civilians were protected,"Heero countered. "I don't agree with how he accomplished that, but I understand his reasoning."
Duo scowled and pulled his knees in tighter.
"If you had asked Quatre," Heero pointed out. "He would have given you the money."
"Why?" Duo replied sullenly, "I'm just a sweeper brat who used to live on the streets. All I know is stealing and taking what other people leave behind. Taking Quatre's money... I just did what came natural." He hid his face against his knees. "Maybe," his muffled voice came, "you shouldn't have bothered waking me up. Maybe we could have stayed together... Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell, eccentric nutcase. Sounds better than Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell, thief."
Heero moved closer until he was up against Duo's side. Shyly, he put an arm over Duo's shoulders. "Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell. You can leave off everything else."
Duo looked up in shock, eyes wide and uncertain.
Heero pressed his forehead against Duo's and said softly, "You're not stupid. I don't think you'll hack into any more accounts, am I right?"
Duo thought about it, considered, and then replied with what Heero knew was the truth, "No... I think I learned something.... and... I think I have a good reason now not to get into any more trouble."
Heero lifted a hand and pushed some of Duo's bangs from his eyes.
"I'm still upset," Duo told him. "I don't know how to handle losing years from my life... like this... underhanded... like I've been used real dirty."
"You should be upset," Heero assured him. "I don't judge you for that. I want to help you. We'll talk about it and get through this together."
Duo reached up and touched Heero's face, a caress of calloused fingers. "I wish I'd known that you were like this during the war."
"Couldn't," Heero replied as he turned and kissed those rough fingers. "It was a secret. We had to win a war and grow up."
"Sorry I took longer to do the growing up part," Duo apologized as he watched Heero's lips nip and kiss as if in a daze.
"I just finished growing up too," Heero replied. "They say you aren't really an adult until you decide what you want and get it."
"And... what did you get?" Duo wondered.
"You," Heero replied. He leaned and captured Duo's lips with his own. They were soft and pliant and tasted salty from Duo's tears.
They were clutching at each other then, mouths opening as they devoured each other hungrily. Duo waited until Heero reached out, until Heero began pulling at his clothes, and then he was joining in, pulling at Heero's clothes as well
It didn't matter where they were. It didn't matter that they were suspended high above the ground, on a windswept platform, with a space station city stretched out below. They both needed, they both loved, and they both couldn't wait any longer.
Naked, they pressed together, hands smoothing and caressing, lips nipping and kissing, and straining erections meeting and doing battle between them as they moaned and rocked. Heero pushed up on elbows, moved Duo's knees apart, and lowered his mouth to take Duo in. He suckled and stroked with his tongue, tasting Duo, feeling him tremble, and hearing his gasps and moans of pleasure. Duo came explosively, hands clutching at Heero's hair, body arching up and around Heero, as if sheltering him as Heero finished Duo with a last, long stroke of his lips. Salty, warm; Heero let Duo's essence go and brought it to Duo's entrance.
Nervous and unsure; the world had disappeared for them. They were completely centered on each other, both inexperienced, but with some knowledge of what they wanted and how to go about getting it.
"Duo," Heero breathed.
Duo clenched his legs, hands on Heero tightening, but then he was sinking back with a look of acceptance and determination on his face as he relaxed and let Heero prepare him.
"Love you," Heero whispered and his voice trembled. When Duo was ready, Heero removed his fingers and moved between Duo's legs.
Duo lifted his knees as if he were confident, but when he felt Heero against him, poised, he whispered in worry, "Careful."
"Always," Heero promised and then slowly and carefully began sheathing himself into Duo's tight heat.
It wasn't perfect, at first, and it wasn't without some pain, fumbling, and mistakes, but, when they were finally moving together and the pleasure replaced uncertainty, it seemed perfection itself. It was more than the act, more than quenching need, and more than about bodies. It was an affirmation, a promise, and a commitment that was sealed when they both reached the pinnacle of sensation together and came explosively.
Afterward, as they lay together in the afterglow, and stared up at the curve of the city above them, Heero asked, "All right?"
Duo nodded against his shoulder. "Yeah... just tired... and sore. " He slowly smiled, wide and pleased. "Heero, we just did it, for our first time, where every freakin person on this station could get a peak."
Heero blinked as his mind began to work again and tell him the same thing. Heero smirked and held Duo closer. "We're alone," he told Duo as he rolled to face him. "This is our place."
Duo eyed him and then laughed. "Denial can be a wonderful thing." He hooked a leg over Heero and then moved on top of him, looking down into his eyes, still smiling. "Okay, so we're alone, in our place, making love between the earth and the sky. What comes next? What happens when you come down from that adrenalin high and you realize..."
"And you realize that you're with a man who killed people when he was four years old, who assassinated without a bit of emotion, who destroyed an entire ship of peace delegates, who single handedly killed thousands in a war, " Heero countered. "I never had a home, parents, or any friends except my weapons."
Duo looked pained and then he pressed himself full length against Heero. He whispered against his neck, "The past is the past, I guess."
"Yes.," Heero replied as he wrapped arms around Duo. "That's when we were children."
"But now we know what we want," Duo said. "And we have it, so..."
"We're adults," Heero finished. "We'll make a future together and leave the past where it is."
Duo nuzzled Heero's neck, but his voice was serious as he said, "We are what we are, Heero. You can't leave that behind."
Heero caressed Duo's face. "I don't want to. You're everything that I've always wanted."
"I snore," Duo pointed out skeptically, "I don't cook that well, and I'm kind of bad about that whole 'living within society's rules', thing."
Heero looked at him with a gentle smile.
Duo arched an eyebrow. "Well?"
Heero arched an eyebrow back. "Well?"
"I suppose you don't have any faults?" Duo groused.
Heero pretended to think. "No," he finally replied.
"Bastard!" Duo laughed. "I'll have to give you some, then."
Heero held him close and said in his hair as he enjoyed the feel of Duo against him, "I'll take anything that you wish to give."
Duo's pelvis pressed against him. "Anything?"
Heero smiled. "Anything."
"I think I'll start with my love, then, "Duo replied as he moved Heero's knees apart and slid between them.."And then things'll get interesting..."
End
see Kracken's original, published yaoi fiction, The Angel Within, at amazon.com
under Kracken
Website:http://kracken.bonpublishing.com
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end