Kracken
Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't make any money off of them.
Warning:Male/Male sex. graphic, violence, language,
Soldier Boys
Sheathing the Sword
"I can't give you your weapons back," the man said with a critical glare at Heero as he handed Heero the keys to his car and his wallet.
"I understand," Heero replied as he put his things into his jeans pockets and straightened his button down, white shirt. Nodding to the guard, he then turned and exited through the lock down doors of the detention center. Two months of red tape, hearings, and explanations, had finally secured Heero his freedom. Now it was time to find out what had happened to Duo.
Heero pulled the note from his relocation group out of his breast pocket. He crumpled it and tossed it into a nearby trash can as he entered the impound area. He didn't need them any longer. He was done hiding and trying to avoid life. Duo was his top priority now.
Showing a guard his passkey, the man lazily directed Heero to where his car was parked. Sliding into the driver's seat, Heero realized that everything he owned was in that car. He imagined Duo sitting in the passenger seat. The image came easily. The belief that it would actually come to pass was harder.
Driving to Relena's home seemed to take forever. It was set back in a high mountain range, for security purposes, and reaching it was an involved affair of taking winding roads and passing checkpoints. Each time Heero announced who he was, he was given immediate clearance. When he finally pulled through the main gates and left his car with a valet, he felt as if he had cleared a large hurdle. The one he faced now was even larger.
The servant who answered the ornate doors, and led him into the lavish interior of the estate house, was stiff and correct. He gave nothing away whether Heero was welcome or not, but, Heero supposed, if he weren't, then he would have been escorted by guards instead.
Relena was sitting in a old library and reading a sheaf of papers while she sipped tea from a silver tea service. She put her papers aside and rose when Heero entered.
"Heero," she greeted him warmly and made a small motion that dismissed the servant. When he had gone, closing the door behind him, Relena motioned Heero to sit at the table. "Tea?"
"No," Heero replied, ignoring her offer of a seat as well.
Relena was wearing a formal frock coat, her hair styled in a coiffe. She looked older and more worn, the burden of running a new government weighing on her. She sat in her chair and spent a moment putting her papers aside, before she said, "I know that you are eager to learn about Duo and that you didn't come here for small talk and niceties. I purposefully forced you to come to me for your information, though, so that we could talk about the conditions for Duo Maxwell's release."
"I was told that he had been released already," Heero cut in suspiciously, "that he was here as a condition for his parole."
"After Warden Havar was given a life long prison term, we weren't sure that it would satisfy Duo," Relena explained. "We wanted to make certain that he didn't carry out his vendetta against her." She made a rueful face. "He's shown that he can be patient, that he can wait years for his revenge. It had to be seen whether her murder was, ultimately, what he truly wanted. He must remain on this estate, under close guard, for one year, but I have, personally, made his release contingent on his promise not to carry out any more vigilante acts."
Heero scowled. "He hasn't made that promise?"
Relena shook her head sadly. "I do believe you when you said that he never lies. He spent a great deal of time stewing in prison because he wouldn't. His refusal to promise me now, is, again, further proof."
Heero clenched his hands. "Then he is still imprisoned..."
Relena said, with some emotion, "We owe so much to you and your Gundam pilot comrades.... I wish that you could share in the peace that you have fought so hard to give us. I wish that you could both rest, you and Duo, but I know putting aside the past is a hard thing to do, especially when that past is so full of cruelty for both of you." Her expression firmed. "You must put it aside, though, if you want to be free. Violence cannot be tolerated, and you must understand, that allowing citizens to carry out personal vendettas-"
"I'm not a child that you have to explain it to me," Heero grated.
Relena started at his harsh tone, but she didn't back down as she said, "If you understand that so well, then please explain it to Maxwell. I need his promise, and his show of compliance, or I will be forced to send him to a more secure confinement."
"Let me see him," Heero replied.
Relena frowned. "I know you care for him, Heero, but please don't let him destroy you. You broke the law, terrorized the guards at a prison, and made me jump hoops to pull you out of a long sentence, for him. If he won't give up the violence, if he can't say, 'enough is enough', then no matter how much you care for him, he-"
"I am done waiting," Heero snapped. "I am done being patient. I am done allowing others to keep me apart from Duo. I allowed myself to be separated from him for the trial, because I was helping him convict Warden Havar, but... no more. Take me to Duo, now."
Relena sat back in her chair with a defeated sigh. "I know that I can't really stop you or Duo short of executing you both."
It was a threat that Heero could plainly see that Relena did not want to make. She was pale now and trembling. She had learned, though, that keeping the peace carried a heavy price, sometimes, and she was willing to pay it, despite how much it hurt her.
Relena pushed a call button and the servant returned, bowing correctly to Relena. Relena ordered softly, unable to meet Heero's eyes, "Take him to Duo Maxwell. "
"Yes, Ma'am," the servant replied and motioned Heero to proceed him.
"I will do my best to convince Duo to seek peace," Heero promised, "but I'm a soldier and I have lived my life killing. Arguing for him to lay down his weapons can only sound hollow coming from me."
"Only if you don't believe it," Relena replied.
Heero thought about that, but it sounded naive to him and, in the end, he
didn't reply as he followed the servant's directions to find Duo.
His room was heavily guarded. The servant exchanged words and the soldiers nervously
let Heero pass inside. Duo was just turning off the vid phone as he turned to
face Heero. Relena had probably warned him of his coming.
"You can get out," Duo said irritably to the guards. "You're
supposed to keep me here, not be voyeurs."
The guards looked uncomfortable as they left the room and closed the door behind them. Heero never took his eyes off of Duo. He didn't rush forward like he wanted to. Instead, he waited for Duo to tell him how things stood between them now.
Duo was wearing a loose pair of cotton, drawstring, pants and a white tshirt. His braid trailed over one shoulder and his face looked pinched, the eyes overlarge as if he hadn't slept in a long while. "I...," Duo swallowed hard and jammed his hands into the pockets of his pants. "I don't blame you if you want to beat the crap out of me. It's because of me that you had to cool your heels in prison."
"You needed me," Heero replied firmly. "I would do it again."
"Why?" Duo asked in anguish. "Haven't I proved to you that I'm not worth it?!"
"No," Heero told him and took a few steps towards him, still not sure of Duo's mood.
Duo half turned away, ducking his head and hiding his eyes beneath his bangs. "I thought about what you said, about what you wanted..."
Heero closed the distance between them and said, "It's not what I want... it's what's best for you, Duo. Laying down the sword will give you a chance for a better life, a life of peace... If you can't, if you go on like this, always looking for the next person to exact your revenge on, you will be destroyed. The government won't have any choice but to give you the death penalty."
"I've already had this speech with Relena," Duo grumbled. "You sound like a damned parrot."
Heero felt his heart clench. He could see it, Duo's stubbornness, his need for vengeance sizzling on his skin. Heero analyzed it as if it were a mission, an installation that he had to infiltrate, a base that needed to be... He reached out and took Duo's hand. He caressed it and shivered as he said, "You've lived your life with one goal and you're afraid to stop, afraid that you won't have anything after, that there will only be emptiness." Duo's sudden tenseness, his heavy swallow, told Heero that he was right. Heero knew it very well, that fear. It had been his own, the one that had almost destroyed him after the war; the fear that there was nothing to make life worth living, that there would only be emptiness after duty was laid aside.
Heero was right that he couldn't talk to Duo about his revenge, couldn't talk a soldier out of doing what he considered his duty, but he could speak to the side of Duo that Duo had discovered in himself so long ago, the Human side, the side that wanted what everyone else had; normal and a way to take it and not feel the guilt, the sense that duty was being abandoned. It was an offer he could make, a solution to conflict, and, Heero thought, it was more than worth it. Better a life of uncertainty than one without Duo in it.
Heero drew Duo in, held him close to his body, and marveled as Duo fit against him, warm and softer than he imagined. Duo looked into his eyes, then, anguish and desperation plain there. His arms came around Heero's waist, but he didn't return the embrace, not yet.
"Relena wants your promise," Heero said softly.
Duo's grip tightened. "I can't give it."
"You will give it," Heero said. "Because it will be the truth."
"Heero-," Duo began, but Heero cut him off.
"It will be the truth," Heero told him, willing Duo to trust him, to believe in him, by the passionate light in his eyes, "because, I swear to you that, if justice doesn't prosecute the people that you wish to see pay for their crimes, that I will take care of them for you."
"What?" Duo was dumbfounded, but then wary, "If Relena's government doesn't take care of them, you mean?"
Heero was firm, "Only then, only when every avenue to bring justice has failed."
Duo shook his head, "That could take years... the courts... appeals... and I can't ask you to endanger yourself for-"
Heero put a finger to Duo's lips. "You've waited years already. Why not keep your patience now? As for the rest... my patience is at an end. I've waited, I've suffered, and I've found you again. I want a life with you Duo, however I can get it."
"You wanted proof, wanted me to show you that I could put this aside," Duo asked, almost breathless with emotion. "Is that what you want now? If I say, yes, will you still want me to prove it?"
"You don't lie," Heero replied.
Duo looked deep into his eyes. "You know what I'll sacrifice to have my revenge."
"Yes," Heero replied, knowing that Duo had seen his doubt.
Duo looked thoughtful and then he gripped Heero tightly. "I-I love you. I know you'll do what you say... but, hell, I guess if you decided not to, I can-"
"You have to promise Relena," Heero reminded him.
Duo rubbed at the back of his neck, "Yeah... "
Heero boldly brushed his lips against Duo's. Duo's lips were like velvet. Duo went wide eyed. He touched his lips and then he leaned in and kissed Heero in return. His eyes fluttered closed and his expression was enraptured, as if he were determined to enjoy every second of it.
It happened suddenly and without thought. They were both pulling at each other's clothes, caressing and continuing the kiss at the same time, on fire with need too long denied. Duo came up for air as Heero ran hands under his shirt and felt his erect nipples there.
"God! I want you!" Duo moaned, but then pulled away abruptly and took several steps away, arms holding himself tightly. "I've never been with anyone, Heero. I never wanted anyone else but you and... I always considered myself on a suicide mission... I didn't want to get anyone involved in that."
"I've waited for you," Heero told him. "I've never wanted anyone but you either."
"I'm not a kid any more," Duo replied. "I know what I want... I just... Can I have it?"
"Yes," Heero told him. "We have to trust each other, though, to have each other. To have a life together."
"I..." Duo threw Heero a wild eyed, frantic look. "I can trust you. I know I can. I want to... I do... I'm going to... I'm going to trust you with my revenge, Heero."
"When all else fails, "Heero promised him. "I will be your weapon, Duo. But, until then, I will love you and we will be together in peace."
Duo laughed and it was a choked sound. "But can you trust me? Isn't that the bottom line? You've given yourself a mission, and I know Heero Yuy will carry it out no matter what, but me... I don't want you to doubt me. We can't live that way..."
Duo suddenly looked very wild and dangerous. Heero tensed involuntarily, not sure of Duo's new, excited mood. "I've got it!" Duo scrambled for the bathroom. He came out a moment later with a pair of scissors. As he walked back to Heero, he grabbed hold of his braid and brought the scissors towards it. He was saying, "After the plague, After everyone I loved died, A priest and a nun took me in. She wanted to cut my hair, but I wouldn't let her. I knew, right then and there, that it was the symbol for my revenge. After Oz destroyed them too, it became even more of a symbol to me."
"Duo..." Heero was at a loss, not sure what to say or do...
Duo's amethyst eyes came up and he grinned. His expression was almost maniacal, Shinigami through and through. Harshly, he cut off six inches from the bottom of his braid. Bringing another hair tie from his pocket, he snapped it on the loose end. Heero could see that he was trembling, that cutting even that much had meant a great deal to him. He tossed the miniature braid to Heero and Heero caught it gently. He rushed towards Duo then as Duo's knees seemed to give out. The man sat heavily on the floor, face buried in his hands, shoulders shaking with emotion as Heero kneeled beside him.
"It means everything to me," Duo said thickly.
"Now it means everything to me as well," Heero replied and Duo looked up to see Heero kiss the piece of braid reverently. "I'll carry it with me, always."
Duo nodded, taking a deep breath to collect himself. "I guess this is like marriage, right?" He said, trying for a joke.
Heero nodded towards the vid screen, "First you have to give your vows."
Duo broke into a shaky grin. "Heero made a funny," but then his smile faltered. "Only it's not so funny, is it? It's the moment of truth."
Heero stood, drawing Duo up with him. He waited, Duo's hands in his own.
"Okay," Duo told him and He pulled Heero along with him to the vid screen. After punching in a number, Relena soon appeared with a start. She was sitting at her desk and a cup of tea was in one hand. She looked as if she had been caught daydreaming and wasn't sure that she was awake yet.
"Duo?" Relena said with a blink of blue eyes as she caught sight of Heero as well. "Is everything allright?"
Duo met the eyes of the image of Relena and said, with firm sincerity, "I swear that I will abide by the laws of your government. I will not try and get my revenge any longer."
Relena was instantly relieved, her face breaking into a smile. "Why, Duo! That's wonderful! I'll inform-" She faltered as Heero suddenly turned Duo and pulled him into an embrace. "Oh! Well... I..." Heero took hold of Duo's chin, tilted it, and seized a deep kiss. "I'll inform you when-when you're released from confinement," She managed to get out, blushed, and then turned off the vid with a soft, embarrassed laugh.
"Now...," Duo said around Heero's kisses. "The vows have been given before an official of the government... You've promised, I've promised, and we have waited fucking long enough to lose our virginities."
Heero frowned, troubled. "Duo, I-"
"Doesn't count, don't bring it up," Duo said briskly as he began pulling off Heero's shirt. "Only counts when you love someone."
Heero slowly smiled and began pulling Duo's shirt up over his head. "Yes, you're right. This is all that matters."
"Damned right," Duo retorted and then pulled Heero towards the bedroom, but then added, his nervousness more apparent, "but, uhm, if you have some experience you can pass my way... I'd appreciate it... 'cuz... "
"Duo?" Heero stopped him before the bed. "You understand that I want," he gestured at the bed, "more than this, more than one night, or a few nights... I want to spend my life with you. No more waiting. No more pain. No more being alone. Is that... is that what you want?"
Duo's voice was full of passion as he replied, "From day one, Heero. From day one, that's all I wanted too."
Heero smiled and relaxed. He let Duo pull at the snap of his pants, but he wasn't getting on the bed just yet. "We need something slippery, Duo, to make it easier."
Duo thought about it and then he brightened. He went into the bathroom and then came back with a tube and a blush. "Says it's an antibacterial gel...."
Heero took it and read the label ingredients. He frowned and then decided that there wasn't an alternative and that they both were unwilling to roam the halls of Relena's home looking for something better. "It will do, this time," he said and couldn't keep his rising need out of his voice.
"All right!" Duo exclaimed and pulled Heero onto the bed, his lips devouring Heero's.
Heero was expecting awkwardness, some reserve, more nervousness, but, as clothes were discarded, and bodies touched, they found themselves caressing and exploring each other with abandon and a sense of familiarity. It felt as if they had always been together.
"God! This is soo right, Heero!"
"It is."
"I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"For waiting so long... for not letting you-"
"It wouldn't have been right. I never wanted you to 'let me'. This is about how we feel, together, the both of us, not about you or me separately."
"Together."
"Together," Heero agreed.
Bodies touched, caressed, and suckled. Moans shook the air. The heat of passion burned until it couldn't be contained any longer. Carefully, Heero prepared himself and Duo. With gentleness and patience, he slowly pushed into Duo's most intimate place and filled his lover completely.
Legs wide, body arched up off the bed, Duo's head was thrown back, his slim neck exposed, and his face echoing his intense feelings. "Heero..." His voice came choked and unsteady.
"Duo?" Heero let the name carry his worry, his love, his intent to stop if Duo ask him too.
"This is... This is...," Duo stammered.
Heero smiled warmly, understanding. "I know," he replied. "I know, Duo..."
Heero's arms hooked under Duo's knees and he bore his lover back, positioning him as he began to move, at first cautious in his thrusts, and then quicker, deeper, more powerful as Duo loosened and began to groan deep and low in his throat in pleasure.
"Oh, God, Heero!" Duo cried out and his hands fisted in Heero's hair. His legs braced against Heero's flexing body so that he could thrust back, urging Heero to go faster and even deeper. "Fuck me!" He moaned. "Fuck me! Fuck me!"
Heero made a primitive noise and his body began to thrust even more powerfully, spurred on by Duo's words. The bed creaked and the head board began to bang against the wall in time to his thrusts.
"Heero!!!!" Duo suddenly screamed and his body convulsed. Heero felt Duo's hot come splatter across his belly. He pushed Duo's legs back even further, then, and began a pistoning series of thrusts. He came explosively, shouting incoherently as his rhythm broke and became a frantic spasm as he spurted white heat deep inside his lover.
Collapsing on top of Duo, his eyes seeing nothing but sparks, Heero felt Duo's arms come around him and hold him tight.
"Is... Is your body doing... doing the whole 'singing' thing?" Duo panted. "Because, if it's just me, I'm gonna feel... just nuts."
"I feel it too," Heero panted, smiling and nuzzling Duo's neck. Duo's hands caressed his back and then held him tightly again. "Love you," Heero told him.
"I love you too!" Duo replied and squeezed Heero fiercely. "I want to live, Heero. You make me want to live. I've never felt that way before."
"The war's over," Heero murmured against Duo's hot skin. "We don't have to be soldiers any more. We don't have to give our lives to other people. We don't have to live our lives..."
"Getting revenge for ghosts," Duo finished. He kissed Heero. His hands moving to caress Heero's face. "For you, I'm putting down the sword, Heero. I want a life with you."
There was something in his voice though, that told Heero that he was still thinking of revenge, ghosts, and people who needed to pay. Heero sat up, bending over Duo. His blue eyes were full of promises. "You've sheathed your sword in me," he told Duo, "and I'll be the one to unsheathe it if it's necessary. Until then, we love and live our lives and..."
"And be happy?" Duo questioned, his expression smoothing from worry to languidness, a smile playing on his lips.
"We will be happy," Heero promised him and then pulled Duo into his embrace, knowing that he would do everything in his power to make that true for two soldier boys who deserved nothing less.
The End
see Kracken's original, published yaoi fiction,. The Angel Within, at amazon.com
under Kracken
Website:http://kracken.bonpublishing.com
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The End