Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
warning:Male/male sex. graphic, violence, language, attempted NCS
Kracken has a new yaoi book, The Angel Within. You can find a direct link to it at http://www.bonpublishing.com. To everyone who already bought a copy. Thank you. *hugs*
Soldier Boys
Sequel to Mission Status
Recovery
"I don't want to be here. This is a PUBLIC hospital!" Duo snarled unhappily.
"Your father gave specific orders that you were to be taken to the nearest emergency room," Heero replied firmly. "This is the nearest emergency room, sir."
Duo swore at him. "How dare you! I gave you a direct order to take me to Heights View Institute. They have the best facilities there and it isn't filled with common people!" He said the last with a disgusted sneer.
"I'm sorry, sir," Heero replied. "I take orders only from your father."
"Fuck my father!" Duo shouted and then groaned and went limp in Heero's arms as they neared the emergency reception desk of the hospital.
"Mr. Serais needs medical help, immediately!" Heero snapped at the woman behind the desk.
The woman pressed a button and then asked anxiously. "What are his injuries?"
"Mr. Serais was in an accident," Heero told her quickly. "He was recovering well and then suffered a sudden setback. He collapsed in severe pain and his father told me to bring him here."
The woman looked angry as two men came hurrying up. She indicated Duo. "He needs to be seen right away. Take him to doctor Greter." As the men carefully put Duo on a gurney and rolled him away, she asked Heero, "Why didn't you call an emergency transport?"
"His father is an important man," Heero replied as if he didn't approve either. "The 'accident' has some legal and political ramifications." He leaned in close, dangerous and very serious. "If word of it were to reach the news vids... well, I'm sure you understand? Silence can be rewarded very well, ms..." He looked at her name tag and then took out a pen and note pad from his breast pocket to write it down. "Terny."
"We do have strict patient confidentiality," The woman assured him and then glanced about nervously, "but I can assure that certain reports aren't filed correctly."
Heero smiled. It didn't reach his eyes. "I'll make sure that Mr. Serais knows about your extra attentiveness to his son."
The woman smiled, "Thank you."
Heero nodded and then turned and tried to find out where Duo had been taken. He knew that he couldn't go into an operating room, but he could monitor the situation outside of the room. He had also planted a listening device into Duo's hair before they had entered the building.
"What the hell!" A voice whispered in his ear and Heero turned up the volume as he leaned against the wall outside of the room where Duo lay. "Look at this x-ray! The kid's got a piece of steel four inches long tucked up right under his lung. Infected too. Looks like he's been operated on twice already. Crap! Prep him, stat!"
Heero's face went dark and dangerous. Duo had been given two field operations, but the second had been done by an experienced surgeon. Duo's previous doctor was going to get a visit, he promised silently. Quatre had supplied the man with all the most advanced equipment. Missing an object that size inside of Duo could only mean that he had done so on purpose. Their moving their location after dismissing him, hadn't been an over cautious decision after all, he thought grimly.
Heero listened to the running monologue of the doctors and nurses working on Duo. They didn't care who he was. They didn't question it. He was just a patient in need of surgery. Heero had counted on that. The danger had been at the front desk, at having to fill out forms and explain themselves. Now that the admittance clerk was under their control, there was only the task of extracting Duo from the building immediately following surgery. That carried it's own dangers for Duo, but they couldn't chance questioning afterwards by the staff who would be helping him in his recovery.
"You are strong, Duo," Heero muttered under his breath. "You
will come through this.... You have to."
_____________
"Okay, now where am I?" Duo groaned as he looked up at a yellowing and cracked ceiling. A spider made it's slow way across it and then crouched in a corner. A warm body stirred next to him and he looked over and found Heero under the covers of the bed and looking at him.
Duo stared and it was a very long moment before he could muster the question," Uh, this is all kind of weird. You mind filling me in?" His voice was weak and raspy. He watched Heero sit up and reach for a glass of water on a side table that was full of bottles, clear plastic bags, needles, and other assorted medical paraphernalia. Heero didn't offer any explanation as he helped Duo drink with an arm supporting his head.
Duo's stomach rebelled and some of the water came back up. He choked. Heero took the glass away and dabbed at his face and neck with a cloth, looking worried. The coughing fit sent fire up and down Duo's side and he gripped at himself to support a bandaged wound until the coughing passed.
"Guess this isn't a dream..." Duo said when he could. "Even my nightmares don't have pain like this. He frowned, looking at Heero's shadowed eyes and his bare chest and muscled arms. He could pick out scars in the morning light coming through a window. One over Heero's collarbone, one bisecting a breast, another snaking down his ribs and under the blanket. "Are... Do you actually... uhm.... have any clothes on, because... " Duo's hand was shaky as he checked himself. "I don't."
Heero looked angry. "If you are accusing me of taking advantage of your vulnerable state..."
"No," Duo assured him quickly and then, "So.... Are you... uhm... naked?"
"No," Heero replied and sat up so that the blanket fell and Duo could see the waist band of his shorts. Duo swallowed in a very dry throat.
"O-Okay," Duo said. "Guess that really confirms it... because... if this was a dream... you'd would be naked." He flushed beat red at the admission. "So... come on and tell me what the hell happened?"
"There is only one bed in this apartment," Heero felt the need to explain. "I needed rest."
"Okay... It's okay, Heero." Duo could see that Heero was anxious that he understand his motives. "I get it. Drop it and tell me what I need to know."
"I extracted you from the hospital and took cover in a one room apartment in an abandoned building on the outskirts of the city,"' Heero explained. "I've been treating you with the supplies that I stole from the hospital. You've been responding well. Your fever and infection are gone and your incision wound is healing well."
Duo nodded. "Give me a clean start and I can heal anything short of dissection." He chuckled as Heero looked slightly disturbed, but then said more seriously, "So, your plan worked and you played your part like a pro. I really didn't think you had it in you. Actually, I didn't think you would ever try something like that, not for one person, especially not when it endangered the mission."
Heero stretched out on his side, head propped on his hand, and looked at Duo thoughtfully. "I gave you my reasons. They were sound ones."
Duo found a soft smile. He started to argue and then just watched the play of morning light on Heero's handsome face. "What is it about you that..." He trailed off, embarrassed and confused. He looked away. "Got any pain pills? I feel pretty bad."
A calloused hand brushed over Duo's forehead, moving the stray bangs out of his eyes. Duo tensed and looked at Heero again. Heero was appraising him. "Is-Is that all right?" Heero asked cautiously.
"The pain?" Duo replied in confusion.
"No... touching you," Heero clarified uncertainly.
Duo stared, not sure how to answer.
Heero withdrew and injected something into an IV line. That's when Duo realized that the other end was stuck into his arm. "Am I on any kind of pain medicine now?" Duo wondered in trepidation.
"Yes," Heero replied shortly as he worked. When he was finished, he rolled back over to face Duo again. "Better?"
Duo listened to his body for a moment and then felt the pain recede, not completely though. He was tempted to ask for a stronger dose, but didn't. The dislocated feeling that had crept over him as the medicine took effect was bad enough. He didn't want to be reduced to catatonic. The street sense that he had developed for survival, demanded that he stay alert for trouble at all times, and the soldier training, that had been drilled into him until it had become instinct, wouldn't allow it, either.
Heero inched closer. It was cold and his body warmth was welcome. Duo found himself shrinking back a bit, though. Heero looked frustrated.
"I'm doing something wrong," Heero said, a statement that was full of irritation at himself and uncertainty.
"Huh?" Duo tried to think through the fog of the drugs. Yes, he thought, it was a very good idea that he wasn't taking more of them, especially when Heero was making him feel... He wanted to make it better for Heero. He didn't like that Heero was troubled. Something in him urged him to reach out and comfort, yet something else, base inexperience and his own confusion, was tying him up in knots, keeping him on the defensive.
"I want to..." Heero faltered. His hands twisted in the blanket. "I've never felt this way before. I don't know how to... express... how to..."
Duo swallowed hard. "Probably shouldn't anyway," he said evasively. He closed his eyes, suddenly wanting to escape the pressure of what was building between them in sleep. He didn't know how to handle it any more than Heero. It wasn't as simple as , 'I like you, let's be friends.' It was a feeling so strong, Duo felt frightened by it, as if he might get pulled under and drowned if he wasn't careful, or carried away into forgetting everything except for Heero. It had been easier in the dark, to give in. Now, facing each other, wounded, vulnerable, in danger, and knowing that they were headed for a climax of some sort as sure as two speeding trains on the same track heading towards each other. It was second nature for Duo to fight against it, to try and find a bolt hole. The mean streets had taught him that confrontations were to be avoided and giving in to feelings was a luxury rarely afforded a homeless child.
"I don't want to make you angry, " Heero told him. "You let me hold you before. Can I be next to you? Just that? Will that be all right?"
"Yeah," Duo couldn't help saying, because it was what he wanted so very badly. Just touching couldn't hurt. He was too sore, too wounded, to far gone in the drugs to really do anything else. Duty stirred though and worry. "Shouldn't you be watching though? What if-"
"I set perimeter alarms," Heero told him as if irritated that Duo would think that he would forget to protect them in that way.
"But," Duo argued, "What if they find them and disarm them? What if-"
Heero's side suddenly touched his own, bare flesh against bare flesh. He was warm and strong and... Duo relaxed into him and it felt.... natural... right... welcoming.
"We are as safe as we ever are," Heero told him. "I am alert. I won't drop my guard. You can sleep if you want to. You can trust me."
It was like.... Duo tried to think through the drugs. It was like touching made them one person. It was like suddenly finding out that he had been missing half of his body. Having realized that, the next thing struck Duo, mentally, between the eyes like a sledgehammer. He had a full moment of clarity in which he knew, without a doubt, that he would not be able to endure life apart from Heero. Now that he knew what he had been missing, how he felt, totally and completely, there was no denying it and no turning back.
"Oh, my fucking God!" Duo exclaimed hoarsely.
Heero sat up as if he had been shot, eyes wide in alarm. "Duo?!"
Duo reached with a trembling hand and grabbed Heero by a hunk of his dark hair. He used it to pull him close and he shouted into Heero's confused face. "This cannot be happening!" He knew he was crying and he hated himself for it, hated himself for letting things get so far. He had a mission. He was supposed to get revenge. The plan had been to get that revenge or die. Heero. Love. Thoughts of a future. Finding someone he wanted to stay with forever.... all those things spelled failure to him, failure to keep his vow to a dying nun in a burned out church years ago. He had vowed to make those soldiers pay, snuff out the lives of every one of them who had killed Sister Helen and Father Maxwell. He had thought that he could keep Heero at a distance, maybe love him and be his friend, but still keep his core untouched enough to do what he had planned. What he felt for Heero now had pierced that core, though, and planted a desire for something more, a life instead of a death in battle.
Duo released Heero, shoved at him despite his weakness, and tried to roll away from him, gasping at the pain of his new knowledge. His IV line tangled and pulled. Heero grabbed at it and kept it free, kept Duo from getting hurt as he tried to understand why things had gone so wrong.
Heero gently pressed up against Duo's back and just let Duo feel his warmth. They were very quiet for a long time, until Duo's gasping became normal breathing and Duo could get his tears of anguish and guilt under control.
"I went through the same thing," Heero confessed, "when I realized how strongly I felt about you."
"Yeah?" Duo ground out. "Maybe you can give me some tips on how to swallow it then, because, right now, I'm choking to death on it!"
Another long silence and then Heero replied, "You understand that the person you love may die in this war, may have to give their life and.... you accept that."
"Just like that?!" Duo spat back without turning.
"No," Heero admitted. His hand traced a line down Duo's arm and Duo shivered. "It's who we are though. We can't change that any more than we can change how we feel about each other."
Duo turned then, hissing and trembling with his wounds and his emotions. He pressed up tight to Heero and glared at him. "What I've wanted in life has never been what I've gotten. I've never learned to stop being a sucker and trying for it anyway."
"You have hope," Heero said softly.
"Yeah," Duo replied. "But hope is a poison pill when it comes to wanting revenge. It keeps you from sacrificing everything to get it."
Heero was wise enough to not say what was so clearly spelled out in his expression. He wasn't going to say that, maybe, hope wasn't a bad thing to have then. He knew Duo didn't want to hear it. At last, he found his way clear and said instead, "Maybe you should fight the war for the people who are living, not the dead. They can be more forgiving when you allow yourself to be human."
"Can they?" Duo sounded bitter.
"Yes," Heero persisted.
"But can we forgive ourselves?" Duo wondered.
Heero didn't have any answer to that and he was saved from trying to think of one when a proximity alarm sounded.
"Bug out!" Duo snarled and yanked the IV line out of his arm.
Heero threw up the sash on a window and turned to put the medical supplies into their still packed duffels. Slinging them onto his shoulder, he then bent and picked Duo up.
"Plan, Yuy?" Duo demanded, head reeling from the drugs, the pain, and the sudden motion.
"Fourth floor. Fire escape. Short jump to the opposite building fire escape," Heero told him as he began squeezing Duo through the window.
"Can't jump," Duo told him.
Heero told him grimly, "I'm going to toss you over. You are going to land as best you can." He climbed through the window and then picked Duo up again. "You may pass out. It may kill you. We don't have any choice. You can't stay and be captured alive."
"So," Duo said as Heero leaned over the railing of the fire escape and prepared to throw him. "Is this what you were talking about?"
"Risking the life of the man I love so that he won't be captured by Oz and made to talk? Doing what both of us have agreed to do, which is to die for the cause?" Heero clarified. He nodded once and then tossed Duo with a strong heave. "Exactly."
on to Chapter 18