Kracken
disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence
Lawless Hearts
Swing of Things
Heero inventoried the scrap while I insulted and dickered with Micky. When we finally unloaded and I sent him out of my yard, I had this urge to hose the place down. The man was a real piece of work.
"I think we have enough parts for twenty six machines, eleven of them very marketable," Heero said as he squinted at his mini computer screen. I didn't have to look to know that he was doing some price calculations. I reached out and closed the computer.
I said around a yawn, "That's it for today. We can have a good start in the morning."
Heero looked ready to argue, but then he suddenly looked tired too, as if some surge of adrenalin, that had been keeping him going until then, had run out. He nodded and pocketed his computer. I shook my head as we headed back to the shack. Heero asked, "What?"
"You love numbers, don't you?" It was a dig. I'd always thought of him as Mr. Anal Retentive during the war. It just followed that he would be a number geek too.
"Yes," Heero admitted, but didn't offer anything else. I finally looked back at him and caught him staring at nothing, looking pensive.
Good going, Maxwell, I thought, annoyed at myself. I must have hurt Heero's feelings.
We went into the shack and I secured the door by jamming the chair underneath the knob again. I made a mental note to fix that. I was too damned exhausted to worry about it tonight, or about Heero, and, besides, I seemed to have killed his mood anyway.
When we went into the bedroom, we didn't have to be awkward or self conscious. There wasn't any pressure about what came next. We were exhausted, filthy, and starving. The bed was calling to the both of us and sex, I was sure, was the last thing on either of our minds.
I washed and almost fell asleep in the shower. Hair half wet and a pair of damp shorts on, I gave up the bathroom to Heero. While he showered, I sat on the floor and heated up our dinner. I almost pulled the same number he had, falling asleep. When he shook at my shoulder, I blinked blearily at him. Heero was dressed in his loose, cargo pants and no shirt. His brown nipples were staring at me, mouth level as he bent to look me in the face. It was the only erotic thing I thought before he was putting a meal pack in my lap and a fork in my hand.
"Eat and then sleep," Heero said simply as he sat on the futon and began eating as well.
I ate numbly. We were both silent. L2's water pumps still droned on, collecting the rainwater, and the open vents in the floor, were making a slight whooshing sound as air came up out of them from far below ground. That filled the air between us. It didn't cover up that there was a problem; a tension in that human silence.
I suppose, being on the streets most of my young life, I'd learned to be careful of people's moods, to sense them, to pick them up from even faint body clues. People could be damned mean, murderous mean, if you walked across their path at the wrong time. The streets had been full of angry, even crazy, people who had been just waiting for a trigger, an opportunity, an excuse; a young boy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Heero was setting off my alarms. He was as obvious as a big, flashing, red light. Something was pissing him off.
"What?" I finally ground out after I swallowed my last mouthful of food and tossed the meal pack in a perfect arc into the garbage can.
Heero didn't say anything as I crawled up off the floor and onto the bed; just a bundle of aches and pains and weariness. I stretched out on my side, fumbling with the blanket I didn't really need.
I was sinking into, 'don't give a damn,' despite my street sense protesting. I was just too exhausted. I said, with one, last, tremendous, effort, "Out with it."
"I'm not a machine," Heero said and there as anger in his voice.
"Hnh?" I tried to process that while my eyes fell shut. "Didn't say you were," I slurred.
"You said..." Heero paused and then explained, "People used to say that I was... inhuman, because of the way I was trained... When you said... You asked about the numbers... I thought..."
I snorted and yawned hugely. "Not a machine," I managed around it. "Just a.... geek."
"Oh..."
The anger left the room. My street sense 'stood down'. Everything inside of me was in agreement now. We wanted to go into a coma.
"Night, number geek," I mumbled and began falling over the edge
of consciousness.
There was a small laugh and then a warm body was settling next to mine. "Good
night," a husky voice whispered and then I was lost to sleep.
_____________________________
A phone was ringing. I winced and put my pillow over my head. A warm body... Heero... stirred beside me. I had time to realize that he was wrapped around me, and that it felt nice, while he retrieved his cell phone from somewhere close by and answered it blearily.
"Yuy."
My cheek was pressed against Heero's chest. Heero's voice vibrated against my ear along with the beat of his heart.
"Hn... We made progress," Heero was saying. "Took in a shipment.... That's being taken care of... He was robbed, he doesn't have any records... You'll have to take my word for it... Personal?" A hand gently caressed my side. "I know how important this case is, Chang, have some confidence in me.... allright... Tomorrow."
The phone was discarded. I heard it bounce on the mattress of the futon. I couldn't pretend to be asleep. Heero's caress had made my toes curl. I didn't have any choice except to face him and... figure out what to do, what to say, now.
I rolled onto my back. It was awkward. We didn't have a lot of room. Heero was on his side, propped up on an elbow, blue eyes looking down at me. He was still half asleep, hair all in his eyes and his expression distant, as if he was still dreaming.
"Hey," I said and then felt stupid.
"Good morning," Heero returned and yawned. His elbow folded under him and he let himself drop back onto the mattress. I had expected some talk... maybe flirting with the edges of the dreaded relationship talk, the 'what the hell is all this and where is it going?' talk. I didn't expect Heero to turn over and give me his back, intending, I thought, to go back to sleep.
"Too early, "Heero muttered.
I strangled a sigh of relief and then smiled as I slid an arm around his waist, pulled him back against me, and head butted his shoulder lightly. Heero, for his part, grunted and clasped my hand where he could reach it. Then he was letting go and falling asleep.
Yeah, we were being intimate; another step closer to there being an 'us', but not a big scary step. It was a little, comfortable, baby step.
The second time we woke up, I gave Heero a squeeze and then let him go, still wanting to avoid that staring into each other's eyes and all of that. I rolled off the bed and pulled on my jeans. As I stamped into my steel toed boots, he was up and going into the bathroom. I heard him pee and wash his hands, and then he was out and heating up breakfast for us. After I finished my turn in the bathroom, we sat shoulder to shoulder on the futon and ate.
"Wu Fei getting impatient?" I wondered around a mouthful.
Heero was quiet, glaring at his food, and then he replied, "Yes."
I snickered. "That's saying a lot without saying anything. Translation, 'Get on the stick, Heero, or we'll come down there and 'help' you get the job done. Am I close?"
"Locked on target," Heero grunted. He changed the subject. "We need to get your records in order as well as rebuilding those parts. Do you have copies filed anywhere?"
I tapped my forehead. "Up here."
Heero didn't look please by that. "I'm not questioning your skill at recall," he assured me, "but everything here is so unorganized. I think we need to make bins and separate all the scrap. We need to find the parts that are never going to be rebuilt and sell the metal."
I shook my head, "There isn't any market here for that, Heero. There's too much of it."
"Then we need to get rid of it in the incinerators," Heero reasoned. "You shouldn't have any scrap in your yard that is useless. Space equals money if we use that space for scrap that has value."
I had this image of neatly categorized scrap in orderly bins. It just didn't seem natural. I was a pack rat for good reason and throwing things away, even useless things, was against everything I'd been taught on the street in my hand to mouth existence. I wanted to protest, but I didn't. He was right and, if he could manage it, I wasn't going to be an idiot and stand in his way.
We finished eating and I tossed on a shirt. I caught Heero looking at me appreciatively. All thoughts of scrap went out the window as I tied on my bandana and picked up my hat. We were going to have sex again, without a doubt. We were two guys, with the hots for each other, with normal libidos. It was all a matter of when and not if.
With our new understanding, sex didn't seem the scary thing that it had been. We were going to do it without all of that soul searching, love talk, and burden of worrying about our romantic future. I found myself hopeful and looking forward to it, though the thought of doing the sixty nine with Heero again had it's own case of awkwardness. It was easy when we were responding to lust and that overwhelming sense of 'we belong together forever', but, in the light of day, it was hard to think of an opening sentence, that wasn't embarrassing and awkward, that would lead to me getting Heero's pants down and my mouth on his... well, if I thought about it now, we weren't going to get anything done.
Heero dressed as well and joined me on the porch, running fingers through his wild hair and then putting on his hat. It was hot again and dry, though not the furnace heat it had been. The pumps had ceased and it was as quiet as it ever got on L2, which wasn't saying much.
"You don't have to do all of this for me," I heard someone say abruptly and realized, with a start, that it was me. My street smarts never took a vacation. It never let go of pessimism or distrust.
Heero reached out and lightly ran fingers down my bare arm. I shivered as he said, "It's not just a case anymore and you know it." and then he was going down the steps and out into the lot, that bit of honesty uncomfortable for the both of us. I felt my heart do something funny. I swore it did a backflip, and a triple somersault, whooping for joy. Shut up! I told it irritably, but I was grinning and couldn't help that as I joined Heero and began working side by side with him.
It was hard, sweaty work. We were covered in dust and rust , and sporting skinned knuckles and burned fingers, as we hunkered over machinery and slowly began to assemble parts and start compressors, fuel rods, and engines. We worked like a well oiled team and, more than once during that long day, I found myself marveling at it and feeling a sense of well being. The box of tools turned into the instruments of mechanical surgeons. We were experts in our field, knowing exactly what had to be done and doing it as if we had four hands and one mind. It really was a beautiful thing, a piece of perfect that I hadn't achieved in a long time.
Heero turned out to be right. We ended up with the exact number of working machines that he had predicted. I saw him smiling, realizing it as well. Yeah, a complete number geek. I couldn't help laughing as I wiped the grime and sweat from my face with my bandana.
"What?" Heero glanced at me as he punched numbers into his computer. He had been inventorying the stack of parts closest to us while we had sat and rested during the day. He finished that up now, but I knew the bigger piles wouldn't be that easy.
"Just thinking about how different we are," I admitted as I sat on the fender of my claw machine. It smelled like old gas and bad oil. "And how alike."
Heero smiled and nodded. "I was thinking about that as well."
My eyebrows climbed to my hairline. "You were?"
"We work so well together," he replied as he finished his entries. "We've always been able to. I was wondering how that could be when our personalities and approach to things can be so different."
"Common goals?" I hazarded and he smiled at me. I ducked my head and hid behind the rim of my hat.
I knew what he was thinking. We worked together so well because of that 'L' word, the one I was thinking deep down, but not getting anywhere near my tongue yet, not by a longshot. He wasn't saying it either and he just dropped the subject rather than test the waters. I know its stupid, but it was just too soon. We hardly knew each other. Common sense said it couldn't happen like that, all in an instant., so we were both willing to think it was just sexual attraction and some friendship right now.... well, at least I was. I wasn't a mind reader, after all. I couldn't know what Heero was thinking with absolute certainty.
Heero was looking out over the yard, maybe making a plan for the next day. The reflectors were dimming towards late afternoon. We still had some time to work, but my mind had already jumping ahead to night time and having Heero alone. I didn't have the same trepidation, especially since I'd been watching his upper body, hardly concealed by his tank top, all day. I had a definite thing for well defined arms and shoulders, Heero had them in spades.
I think I'd been half hard for most of the day, libido at full steam. It brought to mind my total unpreparedness if we should take things a bit further than last time. I'd been living as celibate as a monk for some time, and not buying things like lube and condoms, had been my way of keeping control of my libido. I needed to ask Heero about his health card, too, and wasn't that just the most awkward thing to have to do? Quick hand jobs in toilets, and behind buildings, might get you some STDs, but a full blown encounter could still get you dead. It was hard to start off a conversation with, 'can I see your health card, because I intend to fuck or be fucked by you?' and didn't that bring up another can of worms? Top or bottom? I found myself staring at Heero... wondering...
Heero looked up from his work again and stared back. He blinked and then he asked in concern, "Have I done something wrong?"
I shook myself out of my cloud of testosterone and said, before I could think it through, "I need to borrow some more credit. I need- we need some supplies....."
Heero opened his mouth to say exactly what I knew he would. I cut him off.
"I DON'T take handouts, Yuy!" I retorted to his unspoken offer. "I want you to tally every credit, and I mean, every damned last one."
Heero looked amused and nodded. He made a notation. "Thirty credits enough?"
I fiddled with my bandana and then tied it around my neck. "More than enough."
"I could go myself , while you finish up here," Heero offered. "You'll need to call your contacts."
"That's okay," I said quickly. The last thing I needed was to have to ask Heero to buy sex supplies for me. No guy likes to admit that he hasn't done it regularly. It's a macho thing that would probably never get stamped out of the male psyche.
"It's allright," Heero replied. "I don't mind."
"There's people I need to talk to," I countered. "and I need to check on Mudhopper."
"All the more reason for me to go along and get the supplies," Heero parried. "You can talk and check the machine easier that way."
"But...," I stopped and we faced off. I snickered. I couldn't help it. Heero looked puzzled and then he looked embarrassed when I said, "You want to by condoms and lube too?"
I'd never seen someone turn that deep a red. It went all the way to the tip of Heero's ears. He looked down at his booted toes and replied, "I'm sorry. I..." but then he looked up, startled, as my words finally made sense to him. "You... You were going to buy them too?"
"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Look, I'm not saying we're going to need them, but, it's not something I have on hand."
I couldn't bring up the health card now. I really didn't want Heero to think that I was intending to have full blown sex, because I wasn't. I just wanted to be ready... in case I wanted to... later on. That made sense, right?
Heero put away his computer and squared his hat. "Now that our supplies aren't a secret any longer, we should both go together. I'll buy the supplies while you attend to business."
"Uhm... I'd really rather buy everything, Heero. Why don't you stay here and keep doing inventory?" I tried to sound casual, but I was already thinking about what the shop people would think about Heero buying those things. They weren't going to conclude that he was getting ready for someone else. It's one thing for everyone to know that you're gay. It's another for them to see someone actually getting ready to do you. It messed with a whole bunch of masculinity and privacy anxieties I couldn't even explain myself. All I knew was that I would feel better having them think that I was buying the stuff . It was back to the top or bottom issue and, as ridiculous as it sounded, I wanted them all to think I was top. No, there isn't any reasoning with male pride, sometimes.
Heero gave up and nodded. "All right. It's very important we get this inventory done. It does make sense that we both shouldn't take the rest of the day off together."
"Yeah, that's what I thought, " I lied. "and we do need supplies, not just... that stuff." I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets. "Okay, I'll be back in a bit." I started to walk away, but then stopped and looked back at Heero. He needed more from me, I suddenly felt. He was looking pensive.
"Heero..." I rubbed the back of my neck again, that nervous habit carrying me through the awkwardness. "I just want you to know... I'm not sure how all this happened," meaning us, "but, it's good, okay? I just have to go slow. It doesn't mean I don't like it, that I don't want it. Just..."
I couldn't go on, not with those blue eyes of his looking at me so intensely.
"I didn't plan this and I didn't think that it would happen," Heero replied softly, "I did want it too, though. I'm not sure... Maybe after the sting we can figure it out together?"
I grabbed onto that with both hands. "Yeah, you're right. We shouldn't get into it right now...." I mentally kicked myself hard. That had sounded too damned eager. Fuck you suspicious, I don't trust anyone, street sense, I thought and forced out. "I do want to, though, ... after..." I hesitated and then said , "Guess I'll forget about some of the supplies, for now. Why waste credits we don't have when... when we won't be..." I turned away. That's as far as I could go with the verbal 'opening myself up'. I gave him a wave and said gruffly, "I'll be back. Careful on those scrap piles."
"Roger that," Heero grunted behind me and that grunt gave me a lot to think about as I went for supplies. Had it been a sad grunt? A disappointed grunt? An angry grunt?
"God, Maxwell!" I groaned at myself. "It was probably just gas!"
I bought our supplies, talked to some contacts, and checked on Mudhopper. I was pretty certain I could pull the machine out next morning. I stopped myself from climbing over the drying mud to check on her. I knew what I was going to find and it wasn't going to be pretty.
Returning to the lot, I saw that Heero had began sorting things and that our completed machines were now under a tarp and gleaming with new oil. I could see credits when I looked at them and I couldn't help grinning as I entered the shack. Heero was seated on the futon, fingers flying over his little keyboard.
"Everything allright?" he asked me without looking up.
"It was shopping, not a suit battle," I retorted as I put the supplies away.
Arms empty now, I stood and looked at my companion. He was wearing my soft shorts again. He must like them. I wasn't going to argue about that. He looked better in them than I did. Sitting down beside him, I could smell that he had showered and shaved. That aroma of aftershave tickled my nose and my libido. It hit some button, the one that turned off inhibitions, the one that said 'we want you so damned bad, we will not think of anything, especially consequences.' It was doing the thinking, my brain certainly wasn't.
I think it was the pulse on the side of his throat that did it, or maybe those nubby brown nipples of his, or that strong curve of his shoulder, or the way his skin seemed to say, 'I taste wonderful'. It was probably all that talk of lube and condoms and mental musings about top and bottoms. All I know is that I was suddenly wrapping a hand into the hair at the back of Heero's neck and pulling him roughly to me.
My free arm snaked around Heero's strong waist. He wasn't soft. He was hard, like a rock, and it was almost painful pulling him in tight so that I could snag his lips with mine. I ate his mouth, battered it open, stabbed in deep, and pushed him onto his back on the futon at the same time.
Maybe I was rough, because a part of me was resisting, or maybe I was rough because I blamed him for losing control. Either way, he didn't seem to mind. He opened his legs to me and wrapped them around me like a vise as I pressed him down with the length of my body.
It was almost frantic, our sex, both of us confused, out of control, and both wanting it too badly. Holding back the final act was the ultimate in frustration, but we both weren't ready, mentally. Telling that too our bodies was another thing, though. It escalated our frantic motions, made sex seem almost an act of anger. We were angry, after all. We did want to go all the way, but were too stubborn, too hard headed, to damned afraid of what came next to go through with it.
Disengaging slightly, I snagged Heero's waist band and dragged the shorts off of him. His hands unsnapped my jeans and scratched skin as he jerked them down to my knees. When he reached in with a broad hand and grabbed my erection out of my underwear, I almost came right then and there, especially when he gave it a hard stroke. His own erection was swollen, red, and standing proud as I bent and swallowed it whole.
He tasted like... salt, precome, sex, Heero, endorphines, hormones... he tasted 'mine'. That sounds weird, I know, but it was the only way I could describe it. He tasted like he belonged to me and I couldn't get enough of that taste.
We sixty nined, but Heero didn't go for my erection right away. Instead, he licked and kissed me all over. He bit my knee, sucked on it, and I faintly thought about the fact that I was sweaty, if not dirty, there. That seemed to be it's own aphrodisiac to Heero, though. When he buried his face into my crotch and began worshiping; licking and mouthing everything there, I went wild, clutching at him and giving him as good as I got. He humped my mouth and came with a shout. He fisted me and jerked me off to completion while he swallowed and tongued my balls.
We stayed stuck together like that for a long while and then we stirred and sat up. Moving shakily and groaning at strained muscles, bites, and aching bodies, we showered again and then spent the evening eating, sitting close, and going over Heero's inventory. We collectively said nothing about the act, but our shoulders were touching and we sat on the futon... kind of facing each other in a way that was intimate and comforting.
Okay, so we'd taken another baby step... maybe more than a baby step, but, I really didn't mind it at all. We'd come at it on our own terms, after all, and that made all the difference.
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