Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Male/male sex,graphic, language,violence
Break Point
Sequel to Imaginings
Images
A chair had to be sacrificed. Heero tore it apart efficiently, using the legs and the bottom, metal support strips. Finding a hammer and some nails, that he had bought for a general tool kit that he had never used since moving to that apartment, Heero soon had a working bar and pin lock for the bedroom door. He tested it's strength. Duo was slight, but he had shoulders and arms that were well defined with muscle. It told Heero that he hadn't gone soft since the war.
Mission one complete, Heero checked on his 'guest'. It was hard to see anything of Duo under the table, but he could tell by the sound of Duo's breathing that he was awake. It was hard to imagine someone sleeping through the pounding of the hammer. Heero didn't like not being able to see Duo. He wasn't sure if Duo was being placid, frightened, or getting ready to attack him, so he stayed a few paces back and waited.
Nothing happened. It felt almost like a standoff, and, after a few minutes of waiting, Heero decided that Duo felt safe where he was and wasn't likely to come out as long as he was standing there.
Heero needed to complete his work. He left Duo in his hiding place, and went to boot up his computer in the main room. Sitting down in his chair, he kept his body turned towards the bedroom door. He tried to concentrate, but, after awhile, his thoughts strayed from marketing strategies and tinsel strength tests of materials, to Duo Maxwell.
His vid phone beeped and Heero jumped. Answering it in chagrin, he was prepared for one of his employees to be on the other line. No one else ever called him. Instead, he was confronted by the image of Quatre Winner.
Quatre's face had lost it's baby roundness. He looked like a serious, determined young man now, his brows drawn in worry. "Hello, Heero? I hope that I'm not interrupting anything?"
"No, you're not interrupting," Heero replied smoothly.
Heero's mind had already sifted through reasons why the heir of the Winner family would be calling an ex war comrade and he wasn't surprised when Quatre said, "Hilde called me not too long ago. Do you remember her? She was close to Duo during the war and they were living together afterwards. She called and informed me that Duo has disappeared. She doesn't believe that he went of his own free will."
"Duo isn't here," Heero told him automatically. It was a reflexive response. Until he understood the situation entirely, it was basic training not to reveal anything to potential enemies.
Quatre stared from the vid screen. It was a long moment before he said, "I see." Heero had the uncomfortable feeling that Quatre had looked at straight down to the bottom of his soul and that Quatre knew that he was lying.
"Duo called me last week," Quatre told him. "He seemed upset, off balance. He talked about getting together and reconnecting. He said that he missed having other killers to talk to, people who would understand him. He told me that he was trying very hard to go on with his life, but that he was having difficulties. I agreed that we needed to arrange a visit, but I also suggested a psychologist that I thought was dependable. He thanked me, but I could tell that he didn't like my suggestion that he seek professional help."
Heero fiddled with one of the files next to his computer. "What does any of this have to do with me, Quatre? I have a lot of work to complete."
Heero should have known that polite Quatre wouldn't come out and tell him anything. Thinking over their conversation, he realized that Quatre had said three things; that he knew that Duo was with him, that Duo was not stable, and that he suggested taking Duo to a professional for help.
"Duo spoke your name repeatedly," Quatre told Heero, unperturbed by Heero's simmering scowl. "He even pulled a much folded piece of paper out of his pocket and admitted that he had your address and vid number when I offered to give it to him. You might find it interesting that he had to call information to acquire my number. It wasn't written there, nor were Trowa or Wu Fei's numbers. That indicated to me that he wanted to see you in particular, calling me and suggesting a pilot 'get together' would have been a convenient way to accomplish that. So, when Hilde called me and asked if I had seen Duo, I thought of you instantly."
Heero didn't repeat the lie that Duo wasn't with him. Instead, he took a moment to squelch an odd feeling in his chest. Duo had come to his part of town on purpose. Duo had been looking for him. His dementia had probably confused him, though, before he could reach his apartment, sending Duo into the back alleys instead of to Heero's doorstep.
The shower turned on. Heero flinched. Quatre's blue eyes missed nothing. They sparkled with satisfaction. "If you do see Duo," Quatre said, "Please let him know that I am here to help him in any way that I can. Goodbye, Heero. I've enjoyed speaking with you again. Perhaps, in the near future, we can get together as Duo wished."
"I'll check my schedule and have my secretary set up a time," Heero replied automatically; a phrase that he used dozens of times during a work day. Quatre seemed to accept that, though, and nodded with a smile as Heero said, "Goodbye, Quatre."
Heero turned off the vid screen and the sound of the shower hissed in the silence. Duo had kept his address. Duo had wanted to see him. Duo had come to his section of town, intending to do just that. Again Heero felt a roil of emotions surge through him. He clamped down on them with an effort. He was making assumptions, he reminded himself. He didn't know anything for certain.
Quatre's conversation, peppered with meanings between the lines, unnerved him. Heero was certain that Quatre wanted him to take Duo to him. It wasn't a suggestion that was out of line. Quatre had the resources to take care of Duo properly and, having been in the pilot seat of a Gundam, he was more prepared than most people to deal with another pilot.
There was childish giggling from the bathroom. Heero cautiously entered the bedroom. Sliding up beside the bathroom door, he peered in as if he were reconning a mission in enemy territory.
Duo was standing in the shower covered in soap bubbles. His hair was loose and down all around him, soaked and looking like a cinnamon colored blanket. He was grinning in delight as his clothes soaked up the water as well. Heero blinked in consternation. Duo hadn't bothered undressing.
Duo started and looked at Heero, wide eyed. The water of the shower hissed,
steam billowing around them, and it almost seemed as if Duo would speak, his
eyes becoming puzzled. The transition between recognition and pure panic, though,
was almost instant.
Duo made a sound, strangled and incomprehensible, and then he was huddling in
a tight, wet ball in a tiled corner of the shower, his hair a soggy mess all
around him. He was clearly terrified.
The sudden switch in personality confused Heero. He wasn't sure how to proceed. He tried to fathom what could cause Duo to change so drastically and was left uncharacteristically floundering. It didn't make sense, wasn't logical to him... unless... he considered the shivering Duo... if Duo himself was so confused that things happening around him weren't making sense, then his reactions were understandable. If he was slipping in and out of memories, perhaps, when he had his lucid moments, he couldn't comprehend the intermixing of past and present.
"Duo," Heero said cautiously. Duo huddled more tightly into his corner. "I'm going to get you some of my clothes and a towel to dry off with. I'll leave you alone to take car of yourself then, all right? You're in my apartment. You're safe."
"Safe," Duo said from behind the curtain of his wet hair and his trembling eased.
"Safe," Heero repeated.
Duo laughed, short and sharp. It was full of bitterness. His trembling ceased all together. Heero reached to turn off the shower.
"Duo? Hilde is worried about you. She called and told me that you had disappeared. Should I call her and tell her where you are? She could come and take you home." Heero tried to sound matter of fact, as if he had met Duo on a street corner and was making small talk.
"Street orphans don't have homes," Duo grated and then, "If you think you're getting any from me, I'll gut you." His hand grasped at his side as if reaching for a weapon.
He sounded very young, very fierce. Heero didn't have any trouble guessing what he was talking about. Giving Duo more space, was definitely a priority now. He couldn't help trying one more time, though. "Duo, it's Heero. I want to help you."
Duo started muttering something unintelligible. Heero leaned forward slightly, trying to understand, but Duo's words were too confusing.
"No, don't! War's over! I didn't do anything wrong! No, no! Don't do that! Don't!" Duo squirmed, shuddered, and his hands lifted as if fending off someone. "Please... please... don't..." Duo cried.
Heero remembered Duo during the war. Even when faced with a gun in his face, and certain death, he had still managed to grin, joke, and stay loyal to the cause. Heero couldn't recall Duo ever being really afraid. He didn't think that this was a memory from long ago and wondered if Duo might be having hallucinations as well. .
Duo began to cry more strongly. That wrenching sound was like a spear being thrust straight into Heero's gut. It shook him. He felt himself go pale. Never in his life had he felt something so powerful, so overwhelming, as the emotion that rolled over him now. It was as if he had built walls miles thick around himself and, thinking that he was safe, had completely dropped his guard only to be struck all at once and with devastating effect.
"Duo?" Heero's voice sounded anguished in his own ears. "Duo, it's all right. Nothing can hurt you here. You're safe."
The word 'safe' seemed to bring Duo back from wherever he had mentally fallen each time Heero said it. It wasn't any different now. He shuddered and then straightened, his 'episode' passing. He blinked owlishly and then said, "Cold."
That galvanized Heero into action. He pulled soft towels from a cupboard and hurriedly went into his bedroom to fetch clothes; a loose pair of gray sweats. Laying them out by the shower on the floor, he backed up hesitantly, saying, "Duo, here's some things to get you warm. I'll be in the other room...," he faltered and then found the right words, "Keeping watch."
Duo's eyes came into focus, not completely on reality, but enough to allow him to act. "Thanks, man!" he said good naturedly. "I'm starving. Is there any rations in this place?"
"Yes, I'll get them and have them ready when you're done here.," Heero replied.
Duo was unfolding from his huddle, intent on the towels and clothes, not in the here and now, but back in the war again.
Heero left Duo to get him something to eat. Going through his supplies, he quickly realized the inadequacy of what he had on hand; rice, tea, some miso, several packs of frozen fish, and a few energy bars. He decided on soup and rice, and made them as quickly as he could. He couldn't hear any noises from the bedroom and it was beginning to worry him.
As he prepared the meal for Duo, Heero had a few minutes to think about his strong reaction to Duo's tears. He found himself not wanting to think about it. Unlike Duo, he knew better than to try and resurrect the past. He also knew better than to open old wounds and feelings. They had been forbidden back then, and closed away, to allow him to be the soldier that he had been required to be. This wasn't a second chance. This wasn't an opportunity. Their lives had gone on, and they were not the young teens that had fought a war. Whatever had been stirring in Heero's soul back then, was best left to the past.
Heero put a bowl of soup, rice, and a glass of water on a tray and carried it carefully to the bedroom. He was back in control again by then, firmly back where he belonged; in the role of Heero Yuy, owner of a large, successful company, with no ties to anyone, who had shown his loyalty to an old war comrade by taking him in and helping him.
Heero stopped in the doorway of his bedroom. Duo was curled up in a neat ball in the center of the bed, hands tucked up under his cheek and clearly asleep. His wet hair was wrapped loosely in a towel and he was wearing the sweats.
Heero put the tray on a side table and pulled a spare blanket from the closet.
Holding it in his arms and resigning himself to the fact that he would be making
his bed on the couch, he looked down at Duo with a frown. The shadowed eyes,
the pinched look of tension that hadn't eased even in sleep, threatened to stir
up emotions again. Heero slammed down on them viciously, turned on his heel,
and left emotions and Duo behind on his bed.
__________
Heero had a hair trigger. He imagined that he always would. When Duo kneeled
by him and tugged on his shirt, he had already awakened and assessed the intruder
and the situation. He held himself still and negated a dozen violent reactions,
opting instead to open his eyes slowly so as not to alarm his house 'guest'.
Duo was kneeling by the couch, sweatshirt sliding off one shoulder, hair a cinnamon tangle all around him, and eyes large and lost. He said in a tight whisper, "Heero? What am I doing here? This... This is your place, right?"
Heero felt a pang of relief. He said, still without moving, "I found you wandering the street and thought that it was best that I get you to a safe place." He said the word 'safe' deliberately. He could see the calming effect it had on Duo. He relaxed, slumping almost, but eyes still searching Heero's eyes anxiously.
"I was walking the dog," Duo said almost distantly. "I remember walking the dog and then..." He frowned, trying to concentrate on the memory. He winced suddenly and then said, "It's all kind of blurry after that. Is Java all right?"
"That's his name?" Heero asked. Duo nodded. "He wasn't with you."
Duo looked worried. He pushed his bangs out of his eyes and fumbled at his clothes. He looked down. "These aren't my clothes."
"Your clothes were dirty. I gave you some of mine to wear," Heero told him.
Duo blushed hotly. "Did I... Did I dress myself?" Heero nodded.
Duo almost sighed in relief, but he caught himself and didn't. "Uh, my
cell phone was with my clothes."
Heero felt a tightening in his gut. Why hadn't he checked Duo's discarded clothing?
That was so unlike him that he was actually stunned. Duo misinterpreted his
look as 'passing judegement'. He lowered his eyes and straightened his shirt.
"Heero... Thanks for helping me," Duo began as he stood up, but then he swayed on his feet, putting a hand to his head. "Man! My head is throbbing. Got any coffee?"
"Tea," Heero offered as he cautiously sat up. "I will make you some while you call Hilde."
Duo started. "You know I've been living with her?"
"She called me, wondering if I had seen you," Heero told him, avoiding admitting that he had always known that Duo lived with her.
Duo looked uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment and said, "Well, we are in business together and I hate being alone. When she offered the room, I didn't see why not. " He began walking towards the bedroom, the sweatpants a little large and riding low on his hips. He said, right before he disappeared into the room, "It's just platonic, though."
Platonic. The word shook at Heero, all of his preconceived notions about Duo taking a sudden twist in perspective. Just platonic. As he made the tea he could hear Duo talking on his cell phone.
"I don't know!" Duo suddenly shouted. "I guess I just needed to get out for awhile.... no, I am NOT working too hard... Hilde! I need to do all of it if I'm going to make something of myself. I've been riding a wave of adrenalin since I was dumped on the streets of L2. It hasn't hurt me so far A job, school work, and a couple of stints in the Preventers isn't as bad as going through a war or trying to figure out where the next meal was coming from on L2!" There was another long pause while Duo listened to Hilde's response and then he started shouting, "Can it, girl! I'm not going to slow down, so you can forget the lecture!"
There was dead silence following that. At first, Heero thought that Duo was just recovering from the argument, but then the silence stretched too long. He put the tea off the burner and cautiously went to the bedroom. He didn't see Duo immediately, but then he heard a movement on the far side of the bed. Moving around it slowly, Heero stopped. Duo was sitting in a huddle, the cell phone on the carpet, and his eyes were blank.
"Duo?" Heero called. Duo shivered, but didn't otherwise respond. Heero said simply, "You're safe."
Duo blinked and then he became a child all in an instant. He reached out to some imaginary animal and began playing with 'it', his features relaxed and happy. Heero bent and picked up the cell phone. He turned it over in his hands and saw that it was still connected. He lifted it to his ear and heard Hilde still lecturing Duo. He disconnected her without a word and began dialing Quatre as he watched Duo play.
Read more of Kracken's fiction and fanfiction at http://kracken.bonpublishing.com
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Kracken has a yaoi book published, The Angel Within, at amazon.com. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0974416002/qid%3D1066434868/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/102-2967152-0308168
and at her publishing website at http://www.bonpublishing.com. Thank you to
everyone who already bought the book. *hugs*
Back to Chapter Two
On To Chapter 4