Disclaimer: Wa! I wanna own them, but I don't!
Warning: Males trying to have sex with males. If you don't like it, what are you reading Fake for? Violence. Language. A lot of angst. Gun play. Dreaded Bickiness. The usual. IT IS GRAPHIC!!! Okay, you have been warned. Ready? Let the ride begin!
"You need to cut it, Dee."
"You said it looked devilish... sexy, even."
"That was before."
"Before what?"
"Before you started looking like a sheep dog."
"Aw, Ryo! You know you like running your hands through it when I'm-"
"Stop right there!" Dreig shouted from his desk nearby. He had his big hands clamped over his ears. "Don't ask, don't tell, remember?"
Dee scowled, looking at Dreig from under his very long bangs. "That's the military, you jerk!"
"Dee!" Ryo protested with a blush. "Dreig's right. You can be so crude sometimes."
"I don't go on about my girl friends!" Dreig growled.
"Because you don't have any," Dee retorted. "So, shut-up and mind your own business!"
Ryo sighed. Dee smiled lovingly at him from across the cluttered field of their joined desks. Facing his lover and partner, it was easy to see where Dee's desk ended and Ryo's began. Dee's desk was a mountain of scattered files, sticky, notes, information CDs, and leftover snacks. Ryo's, in sharp contrast, was as neat as a pin, folders alphabetical, sticky notes lined up, information CDs in a desktop holder, and the few snacks he allowed himself, granola crunch and fruit juice, placed on a napkin on the corner of the desk nearest the wastebasket. When he was through with that snack, Dee knew, Ryo would immediately place it in the garbage and then actually get up to empty the wastebasket.
Ryo's person was as neat and meticulous as his desk. The honey colored hair, combed in a soft wave over his handsome face, was trimmed to perfection. His nails were almost manicured quality. His clothing... Dee sighed. Ryo's clothing was pressed and tasteful, every seam in place, every button, buttoned. Dee knew that his socks would match his suit.
Dee was a devil may care man. His suit was haphazard, the shirt striped red and the coat a drab brown. His tie choice for the day reflected his disinterest in fashion. It was blue with small white polka dots. Ryo had been almost frantic about it that morning, Dee recalled with a silent chuckle, but he had made the mistake of trying to dress Dee only once and now knew better. Dee's resulting protests had made them very late and Dee had ended up wearing what he had wanted to begin with.
"The Reilly case isn't printed on my forehead, Dee." Ryo said without looking up from his own work, but he was smiling a little too and it was a warm smile.
"Just enjoying the view, Baby."
Ryo did look up then, a page in his hand half turned over. His dark eyes sparkled. He was so beautiful it hurt, Dee thought, and felt a definite response below his belt. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I'm surprised you can see at all."
Back to the first argument. Dee scowled and sat back in his chair. "Okay, okay, have it your way. Maybe I should cut it really short, huh? Sex hair?"
Ryo turned three shades of red. "Sex hair?" He echoed very softly, confused.
Dee grinned wide. "Yeah, short and sweet so I don't get all hot and sweaty while we're doing the bed sheet tango."
"Dee!" Ryo spluttered and quickly looked around, clutching his paperwork to his chest in acute embarrassment.
"Thanks for the mental picture, Latener!" Dreig exploded furiously as he shot up out of his chair. "It's going to take me awhile to forget about that one!"
"Mental picture?" Dee said after him. "I didn't know there was a mind in that thick head of yours, Dreig!" He looked back at Ryo with a chuckle and then teased, "Hey, Baby, some of your pages are getting out of order."
Ryo looked down and began loosening his grip on them to put them back in meticulous order. "Why do you have to be so crude, Dee? I think you like getting a reaction out of people."
Dee shrugged. "I guess I do. It's funny to rattle people's cages and get them to look outside their little narrow bars once in awhile."
"Am I included in that?" Ryo's voice was prickly. He was annoyed.
Dee leaned forward and caught Ryo's chin with his hand. He made Ryo look at him. "Am I hurting you?" he asked, meaning his words.
Ryo blinked, not having expected that response. "N-No," he stammered slowly. "It's just... unsettling. I like things-"
"The same; clean, orderly, punctual, and boring," Dee released his chin and sat back in his chair again.
Ryo sighed and placed his papers in their designated area on his desk. He made them straight up and down, taking his time at it as he replied, "Our jobs are so hectic and unpredictable... dangerous," Ryo replied, eyes on what he was doing. "I need... I need the rest of my life to be more 'normal', more dependable. I don't want surprises when I don't have to have them."
Dee was suddenly being treated to a whole new aspect of Ryo, one he hadn't suspected existed. He had always thought that Ryo's neatness had been an odd compulsion, maybe even something instilled in him growing up. To know that he was purposefully trying to make his life orderly and boring... Dee didn't know what to think about it.
"I guess I get in the way of your goal... a lot," Dee replied at last nodding at his garbage strewn desk.
Ryo smiled. He reached out, picked up a half eaten sandwich from beneath the phone, and gingerly let it drop into the wastebasket.
"I didn't say I wanted to make you orderly."
"Then what are you doing now?" Dee queried with raised eyebrows as Ryo began collecting empty soda cups, stacking them one inside the other, before dropping them into the wastebasket after the sandwich. Ryo paused, his smile faltered slightly, but then he shrugged. "This will make you sick," he explained. "You might forget how old that sandwich is and try to eat it. Those cups were beginning to attract ants. I'm just looking out for you, Koi. I don't want to change you. I don't want you to be like me. THAT would be boring."
Dee relaxed. "That's a relief! I'll leave all of that domestic stuff to you, okay?"
Ryo frowned at that and then the frown smoothed out. "Hai." He couldn't deny that he LIKED domestic chores, but he wouldn't admit it either, it ruffled his sense of manhood. "Well, it's not as if you had any practice at such things."
"You mean, me being a street kid and all?" Dee felt a slight bit of irritation and he couldn't help becoming defensive. "Yeah, you don't learn a lot about cooking and cleaning when you're trying to stay out of the way of gangs, pimps, and drug dealers, but it doesn't mean I'm too stupid to learn."
"Gomen nasai, Dee!" Ryo leaned against the trash and Dee's cluttered desk to grab Dee's hand tightly. His beautiful face was torn up with concern and his dark eyes were begging Dee to forgive his insensitivity. "I didn't mean-"
"Yeah, yeah!" Dee grumbled and hunkered down into his chair. His outgoing and blatant sexuality embarrassed Ryo, but Ryo's soft, almost feminine gentleness often embarrassed Dee. He hadn't grown up with that either and he hardly knew how to handle it sometimes.
Dee brought Ryo's slim fingers to his lips and kissed them. They smelled faintly of soap and some spicy aftershave. Dee found himself taking a deep breath and then eying Ryo over those fingers with a wicked gleam in his green eyes. Ryo flushed at the look and then gasped when Dee took a finger into his mouth and gently sucked it.
"Get a room!" Dreig exploded in exasperation. He was half poised to sit at his desk, danish in one hand and coffee in the other. The coffee was jiggling precariously as he gestured angrily at Dee with the half eaten danish. "I don't care what you guys do in your personal time, but when you paw each other like a couple of newlyweds in the middle of the station-"
Dee grinned at the opening as he released Ryo's hand. Ryo reclaimed it, red face turned away from him and Dreig as he clutched it in his lap. When he put a short stack of files into his lap as well, Dee's grin grew wider, knowing what he was trying to hide from everyone around them. "We ARE newlyweds," Dee explained blandly.
Dreig did slosh his coffee then as he gaped at Dee and Ryo. " You're married?! Is that legal?"
That irritated Dee. "No, but we did the ceremony and that's what really counts."
"M-Married?" Everyone turned to see J.J. standing nearby, face as white as his dress shirt. He was trembling, eyes wide and expression tragic. "D-Dee?" he stammered, hoping that he had misunderstood.
Dee smiled at Ryo, but Ryo was trying very hard to look at the floor. Other people were taking an interest now. That suited Dee just fine. "Yeah, we're married. We have a home. We have a kid. We're in love. What's it to ya?"
Dreig let out a long breath and then sat down heavily. He put his coffee cup down with exaggerated care and then looked at Dee again. "Nothing's wrong with it. What's it matter? Why bring it up at all?"
Dee loved a good fight. He was happily warming up to this one. "I just want you all to get used to Ryo and me being a couple. I want you all to stop the, 'Good, God!' routine. Bart Yates and Tina Lane are a couple. Greg Goier and Janice Bates are a couple. Well, Dee Latener and Ryo McLain are a couple too, so... get over it and leave us alone, okay?"
Dreig turned his back on them and hunched over his work. "Just not used to it, that's all."
Dee had an idea then. "Well, maybe you all aren't used to it. Party, tonight. OUR house, meaning Ryo and my house. Got it? Eight sharp!"
There were rolled eyes from the women and reluctant nods of assent from the men. Dee always threw a good party, at least where men were concerned. Sports and endless rounds of beer were always staples he never left out.
"Do shite no, Dee?!" Ryo exploded. His embarrassment was now coupled with complete shock.
"What's the matter?" Dee wondered with raised eyebrows. "I think it's a great idea!"
"But you didn't ask me!" Ryo protested. "You said 'our' home, but you don't seem to know what that means! We need to finish the report on the Reilly case and then we have to investigate that warehouse for the Trent case. I won't have time to clean or prepare anything!"
"Trust me," Dee replied carelessly. "The women won't show and the guys aren't picky. I'll look at the warehouse on the way home while you pick up the beer and the chips and dip, okay? Come on, Ryo, I'm sorry I didn't ask you, but these lunks need to get over us. The only way that's going to happen is if they hang out with us more. I haven't had a good party since I was in my place." He softened, understanding Ryo's distress, but not willing to concede to it. "You keep the apartment like a showroom, Ryo. At it's worse, it's better than anything these bachelors have lived in. Don't worry. It'll be fine."
Ryo wasn't convinced. "I won't have Bicky subjected to rough language and drinking. I'll send him to Cal's for the night."
"Oh, he'll enjoy that!" Dee chuckled. "But how is that any better-"
"Chaperoned by her Aunt, of course," Ryo snapped back.
"Oh, of course," Dee snickered, knowing the boy would get around that somehow.
Ryo went quiet, staring steadily at Dee until Dee went quiet and stared back, beginning to be worried that he had gone too far. "You are certainly NOT boring, Koi," Ryo finally said. "But, next time, please ask me. We're partners. I made a vow with you as your equal, not as your maid or your-your-" He put his hand to his mouth, unable to go on.
"As my casual boink?" Dee finished and Ryo nodded. Dee sighed. "I know I'm a complete asshole sometimes, well, most times, Ryo, but don't ever think that again, okay? I love you so much it hurts. We are equals, I just... hm, there's just stuff you're good at and stuff I'm good at, understand? We have to do what we're good at so we balance each other out."
"What are you good at?" Dreig drawled sarcastically, having overheard the last bit as he passed Dee's desk on his way to the coffee maker again.
"Oh, Ryo knows what I'm good at," Dee shot back suggestively.
"I don't wanna hear it, Latener!" Dreig exclaimed.
Dee rose from his chair and draped an arm over the big man's shoulders as he walked with him to the coffee maker. "Are you sure? I could give you some tips."
"Latener!"
Ryo ducked his head, face burning, to avoid looking at anyone, and went back to his work. The argument wasn't over by a longshot, but he was too worried about the approaching party to pursue it any further. As thoughts of napkins, appetizers, and vacuuming under the couch cluttered his mind, he didn't notice that J.J. was still standing nearby looking completely lost and distraught. The boy uttered one word as if it were tearing up his heart, "Married."
"Dee?"
"Hm?"
"Can I come to your party?"
Dee scowled at J.J. as he picked up his car keys. "Are you sure you want to come?"
J.J. leaned against the side of Dee's desk, face pensive as he stared at the dark haired detective in surprise. "Why wouldn't I?"
Dee gave J.J. a knowing look as he shoved some files aside, picked out the one he wanted, and then made a sweeping motion across his desk to herd all of that day's trash into the waste basket underneath. "You were pretty upset earlier when you heard that Ryo and me were married."
"You noticed?" J.J. couldn't help the thrill in his voice.
"Hard to ignore when you stand like a statue for over an hour with your mouth hanging open. Admit that you're upset that Ryo and me are married. Don't try and pretend you're not."
"You're not legally married," J.J. swiftly pointed out and then covered his eyes with his hand, feeling like an idiot.
Dee straightened and slapped the file against his long thigh. "Are you gonna start sounding like Dreig now? Ryo and me said the words and we meant them, J.J. Don't even try to argue about that. Some things don't need paperwork."
"Sorry, Dee, but you know how I feel about you," J.J. replied bitterly. "I hurts. I won't deny that."
Dee sighed. "J.J., I never led you on. I never told you that I was the least bit interested in you, in fact, I've always told you the opposite! If you're trying to blame me because you won't get over me..."
J.J. stiffened, offended and angry. "You pursued Ryo for years. He told you no, he pushed you off, he never gave you any indication that he was either interested in you or even gay. Don't talk to me about getting over someone."
Dee was confused by that and he stood silently, trying to rally a response. J.J. didn't give him the chance. Not caring who saw them, he straightened, grabbed Dee by his lanky hair, and pulled their lips together hard. He ate Dee's mouth, sucked on it, plunged his tongue deep inside. He pushed his pelvis against Dee's and rubbed erotically. His free hand grabbed Dee's wonderful ass and kneaded it roughly. Dee had an immediate, stiff response before he shoved J.J. off of him. He wiped a hand across his mouth, furious.
"What was that all about?" Dee demanded.
"A kiss for the bride!" J.J. spat back and looked pointedly at Dee's erection, "and to prove to you and myself that I did have a chance before Ryo came along to ruin things!" He turned and stalked away, flinging over his shoulder. "It was just my bad luck that you would rather screw someone with a pretty face than have a real relationship with someone like me!"
"You...!" Dee shouted after him. "Don't come to my party, you shithead!"
Breathing hard and furious, Dee clenched his car keys and his folder and spun on his heel to leave the station. He ran full tilt into Ryo. Ryo's face was expressionless, but his dark eyes were narrow and his nostrils were flared. Not a good sign, Dee thought fearfully as he steadied Ryo and kept the man from falling down.
When they had both regained their balance, Dee spoke quickly, holding Ryo tight. "How much of that did you see, Baby?"
"All of it," Ryo replied with a chill in his voice. "J.J. knew I was there. He wanted to show me, I guess, that you..."
Dee grabbed Ryo' ass and pulled their pelvises together. He kneaded with one hand while he ground his erection against Ryo. With his other hand, he snagged Ryo's chin and brought him in close for a hot, thorough kiss. Ryo's reaction was sudden and stiff. Dee released him abruptly and put some space between them. Green eyes snapping, he demanded. "Could you control that? Well, neither could I! If you don't trust me, just say so!"
Heads turned. The second shift was just settling in. They hadn't expected a show. Ryo looked around dazedly, his inhibited, shy nature outraged beyond his limit to deal with. He turned as if he fully intended to run. Dee caught him hard by the arm. He was still angry, stinging at Ryo's accusation. "Don't forget the chips and the beer, Ryo. We'll talk about this AFTER the party."
Dee released Ryo with something close to a shove and gave Ryo his angry back. Ryo stared at it. When he felt tears begin to escape his control, he bowed his head and hurried away.
"Real good, Latener," Barkley Rose said and Dee gave the Commissioner a fierce, warning glare. "You managed to garner six complaints today." The blonde, blue eyed commissioner scanned the stunned faces all around them. "I think I'm going to have more complaints before the day is out, don't you?"
Dee was about to say, 'J.J. started it.' but that sounded so childish he held it back. "Complaints?" Dee found himself echoing, trying to play dumb.
Barkley glared right back at Dee, his glasses perched low on his nose. "This is a police station, not a soap opera. Keep your personal business personal and take it home! There are people here who are actually trying to solve cases, Latener!"
Dee clutched the file under his arm and gave Rose a vicious smile. "Well, I'm trying to solve a case too, so, if you'll excuse me."
"Ryo looked upset," Rose couldn't help commenting. "Am I going to get a complaint from him as well?"
"I was the one who was upset," Dee snarled. "That is our personal business, so, I'll follow your advice and take it home."
"I'm always waiting in the wings, screw-up," Rose called after Dee as he stalked away. "Remember that!"
"Let me stay and help, Ryo!" Bicky urged as he helped pour chips into several bowls.
"No." Ryo was cutting vegetables with quick, harried motions. "There is going to be drinking. I don't want you to be exposed-"
"Ryo, my dad was a drunk," Bicky reminded him. The part African, blue eyed boy was suddenly serious. "I'll stay in my room after everyone comes, okay? Just let me help out."
Ryo was frowning, not really listening. His knife moved rapidly along a carrot, using more force than was necessary. Bicky gingerly reached out and stopped him, worried.
"You're gonna cut yourself, Ryo!" Bicky exclaimed. "Why don't ya take a break and let me do this? It's not like those bums are gonna eat veggies anyway."
Ryo relinquished the knife and said, unnecessarily, "Careful, it's sharp," as he turned around and leaned back against the counter, arms wrapped around his chest as if it hurt.
"Duh," Bicky muttered as he began to cut. "It's a knife!" He finished the carrot and then looked sideways at Ryo's tense, unhappy face. "So, what did the jerk do now?"
Ryo shifted uncomfortably, looking away. "I- I made a mistake. It was my fault. I'm going to apologize as soon as he comes home."
"Hmph!" Bicky shook his head skeptically. "I think, after all of his stupid mistakes, Dee should cut you some slack. What happened?"
"I'm not going to discuss it with you, Bicky," Ryo said as he straightened and lowered his arms. He took up two of the bowls full of chips. "I'll just say that you have to have trust in any relationship and I- I doubted Dee when I knew better."
"Was it a girl?" Bicky wondered.
Ryo spun on him, surprised. "Why did you ask that?"
Bicky shrugged. "Well, he is bi, isn't he? That means he wants guys and girls, doesn't it? Well, you're not a girl, so it makes sense that he might stray that way, right? Maybe you don't have to apologize. Maybe you did see what you thought you saw?"
"Bicky..." Ryo paused, clasping the bowls tight against him. "It wasn't anything like that."
"Oh, sorry." Bicky managed to look contrite. "You didn't explain so I had to guess, that's all. So, it was another guy then?"
Bicky was causing Ryo's mind to go in a direction he didn't like. He had made up his mind that he had been wrong. He knew he was wrong. Still, he couldn't help remembering that Dee hadn't pushed J.J. off right away and Ryo recalled several occasions where he had caught Dee looking at the new intern, Melissa. Ryo shoved those thoughts back down into a decent place. He knew why he was thinking such thoughts. Dee meant everything to him. The fear of losing him was making him unreasonable. Dee HAD pushed J.J. off and cursed him on top of it.
Ryo took a deep breath and then let it out again. He was allowing a child to manipulate his thoughts. He managed a weak smile.
"Bicky, I trust Dee. He loves me. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me, believe me... I know it. I do know it. Please, don't say anything about this to him, okay?"
"Whatever," Bicky grumbled. "I just don't like him messing with you."
"It was my fault, Bicky. I told you that." Ryo took the knife and began cutting the vegetables again, feeling better now that he had settled his thoughts.
"Hm, you cut them all exactly the same size, don't you?" Bicky observed with wide eyes. "and look, you're throwing out the ones that aren't. Ryo, you are so anal."
"Bicky!"
Melissa. Dee's eyes swept over her appreciatively as he headed out the door of the police station. Honey brown hair, dark, luminous eyes, and a body that was lithe and athletic. She looked just like Ryo, Dee thought with a small smile, but Ryo was so much more beautiful, so much more sexy. It fascinated Dee, her resemblance, but that's all he saw as he passed her by. He didn't even noticed her inviting return smile.
Driving to the warehouse was uneventful. It was in a seedy part of town and it had been abandoned some time ago. Pulling up along side the rusted doors, Dee dug under his seat for his flashlight. He checked it and the light came on. Batteries were still good. Ryo always made certain of that.
There was still a good amount of daylight left, but the warehouse was shuttered and dark. Notebook in one hand, pencil stuck behind his ear, and a cigarette burning away out of the corner of his mouth, Dee slowly made his way into the building. Trained eyes surveyed his surroundings and cataloged even the smallest detail. Every now and then, he took up the pencil, scribbled a note, and then stuck the pencil back behind his ear.
After going over the warehouse twice, Dee put out his cigarette under his heel and let out a long puff of smoke. It drifted lazily about him in the air as he turned and began walking back to his car. Time for the party and time to see Ryo again. He wondered if Ryo had stopped to get the chips and beer. He had been pretty upset.
Damn Ryo for being insecure anyway, Dee grumbled to himself. To accuse him of wanting to jump J.J., of all people! J.J. was pretty, too pretty. Dee liked his men more masculine, stronger, and able to meet him one on one when he wanted to tangle in the sheets. That his strong and beautiful Ryo could even think... but then Dee sighed heavily. He would have probably thought it too, if he had happened on Ryo and Rose lip locked like he had been with J.J. The young man had been practically humping him right there in the middle of the station! J.J. didn't have any pride as far as Dee could see and the young man's desperation, his unwillingness to see reality, was sickening to Dee. If Ryo considered the young man competition, then Dee was going to have to have a long talk with Ryo. Something was wrong with their relationship if Ryo was the least bit insecure. He had to prove to Ryo, once and for all, that he was the only man that Dee wanted for the rest of his life. It was his last thought as something hard came crashing down on top of his head.
"Jerk! Just like him!" Bicky snarled as he dumped another bag of chips into a bowl.
Ryo was a basket case. The apartment was full of men who seemed bent on spilling everything they were given, putting out cigarettes in every handy container, and crushing food into the carpet and onto the furniture with abandon. Add to that the noise, the music, and the blaring television showing a football game, and Ryo was close to hyperventilating. As proof, he had pulled Bicky out of his room and sent the boy out to keep an eye on the men. When Bicky had finally returned for more chips, he had found Ryo huddled in a corner in a chair, a bottle of aspirin beside him, and a cup of hot tea clasped in two hands. His head was bowed over the tea as if he were inhaling the steam.
Suddenly, like a nervous tick, Ryo jerked his cell phone out of his pant's pocket, hit the speed dial, and held it to his ear for the hundredth time. Bicky watched his tense, bowed face as he listened to the ring. After a long moment, Ryo hit the off button and shoved it back into his pocket.
"Why doesn't Dee answer?" Ryo said in a very small voice.
"Maybe he got madder after you left," Bicky hated to suggest. He didn't like the pain in Ryo's face, but he was too young to know enough to pull his punches. "Maybe he ain't coming home. Did you check the station?"
"Of course!" Ryo replied irritably and then regretted it. "Sorry, Bicky, I'm just worried. He's never done anything like this before."
"Well, Ryo, you're a detective," Bicky reminded him. "Go find the jerk."
Ryo stood as if he intended to do just that, putting his tea aside on the counter, but then he sighed and shook his head. "I can't do that. I can't leave you alone with a house full of drunken men."
"Nothing new to me," Bicky said with a shrug. "But if you're worried, I'll go over to Cal's and they can fend for themselves."
"That solution doesn't appeal to me either," Ryo replied as he made his way out of the kitchen with Bicky in tow. Everyone was looking away from them, boisterously greeting a new arrival.
With a relieved sigh, Ryo pushed through the crowd, saying in exasperation, "Dee! Daijo bu desu ka!" but it wasn't Dee who greeted Ryo.
J.J., with a plastered on, good natured grin, was walking through the front door. He walked straight to Ryo and handed him a bottle of expensive champagne. "A gift for the newlyweds," he said mockingly. "Where's Dee?"
"I don't know," Ryo replied in anguish.
J.J. frowned, his anger and betrayal forgotten in an instant. "What do you mean, 'You don't know'?"
"He didn't come home."
"Did you call the station?"
Ryo exploded in frightened exasperation. "Of course I called the station! They said he left at his usual time. I've been trying to reach him on his cell phone, but there isn't any answer."
J.J. raked the room with alarmed eyes. Everyone was still partying, only a few even interested in what was being said. His eyes came back to Ryo and he was furious. "Don't you even care? Why are you still at this stupid party when Dee's missing? Why aren't you out looking for him?"
"Because he and Ryo had a fight and he thinks Dee's run off like the big asshole he is!" Bicky said from J.J.'s elbow. J.J. looked down at the blue eyed boy. Bicky grinned at him with fierce teeth as he held up a bowl. "Chips?"
"Fight?" J.J. was stunned. "Maybe... maybe he went to my apartment."
Bicky blinked up at J.J. in disbelief. "I don't think Dee's that desperate."
"Bicky!" Ryo snapped, but he was angry too. "What makes you think Dee would go to your apartment, J.J.?"
J.J. drew himself up, meeting Ryo's anger with some of his own. "We do have a PAST, Ryo. We went to the academy together."
Ryo stared and Bicky looked from one man to the other, sensing that a fight might start at any moment. Protectively, Bicky stepped in. "No time for bitch slapping now!" Bicky argued. "If you're worried about the apartment, Ryo, this guy looks as anal as you are. Why don't you leave him in charge while we go look for dumbass?"
"No more foul language out of you, Bicky!" Ryo snapped. "You'll stay here with J.J. while I look for du-," Ryo stopped himself, took a deep breath, and then finished, "Dee."
"I'm not staying with STRANGERS," Bicky protested, knowing how to quickly wrap Ryo around his finger.
"I'm not staying here, either!" J.J. protested as well, indignant. "Dee might be in trouble!"
Ryo suddenly became the detective that he was, anger, worry, and guilt pushed aside. "This is a room full of police officers and detectives," he told J.J. "I'll need you to coordinate them in case I need backup. Stay by the phone and wait for me to call."
Without thinking, J.J. responded and nodded briskly, not questioning the order as he fell into detective mode as well. "Where will you be searching first?"
"Dee was supposed to be investigating a warehouse," Ryo recalled. "A simple walk through. He shouldn't have had any trouble there. They have night guards. Still, I'll check anyway to start."
"Understood. I'll give you an hour to call in," J.J. replied.
"Fine. Come on, Bicky. We'll take the subway to Cal's first and drop you off."
"Take my car," J.J. told Ryo and handed him the keys.
Bicky was stunned. "Aw, man! You're gonna let old lady Ryo drive your car? I hope you have good insurance!"
J.J. frowned at Bicky in annoyance. "Who ARE you?"
"Bicky, ya big jerk! I'm Ryo's adopted kid."
J.J. blinked, taking that in, and then he shook himself and looked at Ryo again. "It's a police cruiser, not my personal car. I'm supposed to escort an informant to trial in the morning, so don't mess it up."
"Right," Ryo growled in annoyance and headed for the door. Bicky followed close on his heels and couldn't help asking.
"You're going to use a room full of drunks as your back up, Ryo? That's not too smart."
"Of course not, Bicky," Ryo replied distantly as they headed for the elevator. "I'll call into the station as soon as we get into the cruiser."
"Then why..."
"It was the only way that J.J. would stay behind," Ryo explained.
"Heh, well, you wouldn't have gotten away with that if that J.J. hadn't been drunk like the rest of them."
Ryo stopped, wide eyed. "J.J. was drunk?"
"Yeah," Bicky replied, suddenly sorry that he had revealed that. He was looking forward to tagging along with Ryo. He wanted to witness the fireworks when the man finally found Dee. Bicky was sure Dee was passed out in a seedy bar, drinking away his sorrows and hanging on some cheap woman. Maybe Ryo would realize what a jerk the man was and finally get rid of him, Bicky thought, then he'd have Ryo's attention and affection all to himself. Selfish, a part of Bicky accused, but he was too young to care.
Ryo looked back at the apartment, considering, but then he shook his head sharply and began walking towards the elevator again, abandoning the apartment to the party. Bicky grinned and trotted to catch up.
Dee groaned. His head was going to explode with pain, he was sure as he levered himself up into a sitting position and lowered it into his hands. He immediately felt something sticky with his fingers. Trying to look at them, he squinted in the dim light, and then looked upwards as he realized that the light wasn't enough to do more than separate forms into shadows of gray and black.
A grate. Dee could see that much. The light was streaming through it with the telltale glow of a street lamp. Not the warehouse then. Where...? Dee lowered his gaze and squinted at his surroundings. Another grate, this one larger and leading to pitch darkness. Dee turned his head. Another grate... more darkness. His back was against a wall.. old brick dripping with mold and water. In front of him was another wall, light picking out more old brick. A thin trickle of water ran very close to his feet. it was filthy and it stank. Sewer, his mind told him. He was in a sewer drain.
Dee groaned as he slowly stood up. His world spun. He leaned back against the wall and felt the rusted, metal rungs of a ladder. When his eyesight settled, Dee took a deep breath and tried to turn. A rattle on his ankle stopped him. De reached down, knowing what he was going to find, yet hoping to the last that he was wrong.
Dee's fingers touched the cold metal of his own handcuffs. One end had been closed around his ankle painfully tight. The other... his fingers followed it to the bottom rung of the ladder.
"Hey, pig!" A voice shouted from above.
Dee sighed knowing it wasn't help. "Yeah?"
"Comfortable?"
Dee looked up trying to see something and knowing he wouldn't. A small shadow blocked the light. "Okay, what do you want?" Dee demanded.
"Nothing," the voice replied and laughed. "I just don't like pigs!"
"Terrific!" Dee groaned and rubbed at the bleeding knot on his head as he searched his clothes for his cell phone. He didn't find his phone, but he did find his gun.
Dee wasn't naive. He didn't get excited. He pulled out the gun and checked the barrel with his fingers. He found one bullet in the chamber and sighed again.
"Find the gun?" the voice asked at last.
"Yeah."
"One bullet, pig," the voice laughed. "Don't waste it trying to get free. I jammed the grate closed and the other ones are bolted closed. You know what to do with that bullet, don't you?"
"I know what you want me to do with it," Dee replied coldly. He closed the barrel and spun it to the firing position. He squinted up at the shadow.
"That's right. No one's going to find you. You'll starve to death, pig." The voice laughed evilly again. "A pig starving to death! Isn't that funny?"
"Not really," Dee replied.
"You need to get a sense of humor then, pig!" the voice snarled.
"One question," Dee asked. "Did you kill officer Trent?"
"Yeah, him and a few others," the voice boasted. "I stole their wallets. I stole yours too. Dee Latener, right? What a stupid name! Who's the picture of the other guy? You're boyfriend, fag?"
"My husband, actually," Dee replied. "And he's waiting home for me, so, I need you to stop wasting my time and let me out of here."
"Hey! You have a sense of humor after all!" The voice turned angry, vicious. "Well, fag, guess your butt boy is going to be waiting a long, long time. You pigs have to pay when you come walking around my territory!"
"You're going to leave me here to die?" Dee confirmed.
"Yeah! What are you, stupid?"
"No," Dee replied chillingly. "Just thorough and by the book for once."
Without warning, Dee lifted up his gun, sighted carefully, and fired. There wasn't even a groan, but part of the light was gone and it didn't return. After a short space of time, he could hear a small, faint, drip drip and dribble of something liquid falling from above.
"Self defense, pure and simple," Dee said as he holstered his now useless gun. "Dumb shit!"
Ryo paced the warehouse for the tenth time, almost crawling on his hands and knees with his flashlight. Bicky was leaning against one wall, not having as much fun as he had imagined, especially after finding Dee's car parked outside with no Dee anywhere in sight. Bicky almost wished he hadn't gone into Cal's apartment building and then come out and pretended that Cal hadn't been home. Now he had to witness Ryo slowly coming unraveled.
Ryo straightened at last, one had over his mouth and the other gripping his flashlight with white knuckles. Bicky heard a very low sob escape the man and then he said in a muffled voice. "Nothing. There's nothing to tell me where Dee is!"
"We should go," Bicky said at last. "We've been here for hours. You need daylight to see anything, Ryo. Call the guys at the station. They can swarm this place in the morning and find that good for nothing-," Bicky swallowed hard on his own rising concern, "They'll find Dee for sure."
"I shouldn't have let him go alone," Ryo said guiltily as he lowered his hand and walked towards Bicky. His shoes echoed loudly.
"Three cops were found murdered near here. I thought... I made Dee so angry and I was... I guess I was angry and so unhappy that I didn't think when he told me he would investigate alone. I thought there were security guards... it said so in the report. There aren't any here tonight."
"What?!" Bicky was off the wall and standing nervously at once. "Three cops murdered? Then what are we doing here by ourselves? Call for some back up, Ryo!"
"I thought there were security guards," Ryo repeated, but he was shakily taking out his cell phone. The radio in the cruiser hadn't worked and Ryo hadn't taken the time to call the station. Another mistake. He was making too many of them, Ryo realized.
Bicky huddled close, all pretense of bravado gone as he took the flashlight from Ryo, panning it around them fearfully as Ryo used his now free hand to take out his gun while he made the call with his other hand.
"J.J.?" Ryo said after a moment.
"Not him!" Bicky snarled and grabbed the phone from Ryo's hand. He redialed and then handed the phone back to Ryo. "We need cops at the station Ryo, not drunks at a party. Get it together, man! You gotta protect me!"
Bicky heard Ryo take a deep breath and then let it out. "I'm okay. Sorry, Bicky. This whole situation is... inexcusable."
"Yeah, whatever that means!' Bicky snapped. "Now, let's get outta here!"
As they walked towards the car, Ryo talked to the station and told them the situation. The phone faded in and out, the metal building interfering with the signal.
"Get in the car," Ryo ordered Bicky, "and lock the doors. I have to step over there so I can get a better signal." Ryo motioned towards the empty asphalt lot next to the building. It was wide open, no one could sneak up on him, and it afforded a clear view of the car. There was also a lone street lamp illuminating an unloading dock nearby and that gave him a clear view of his surroundings.
As Bicky locked himself in the car, Ryo stepped into the empty, asphalt lot. His reception cleared and he began explaining his situation to the dispatcher on the other end. A part of his mind, the part that was the professional detective, dealt with that. The other part, the part that was frantic with worry for his love, was on the edge of hysterics from guilt and fear.
Why had he doubted Dee? Why had he accused him like some jealous wife? Ryo knew he should have been angry at J.J. not Dee. It had clearly been J.J.'s fault for molesting Dee, not Dee's for being too surprised to react as quickly as Ryo had wished. He had accused Dee to his face, embarrassed the man in front of the entire station after J.J. had just finished doing the same, and doubted his word, the vow they had made to always be together. He should have apologized right then and there, stayed with Dee, and made sure that the man understood how sorry he was and how much he loved him. Now... Ryo felt tears in his eyes. What if it was too late? What if Dee had...
Ryo cut those thoughts off quickly. He took another deep breath and let it out. Bicky needed him. He couldn't afford to fall apart now. Once the boy was safe, he would return and search the area yet again. Ryo wasn't even sure why he had even brought the boy along! Ryo determined to write himself up on report for his own stupidity. He had expected security guards, but the situation could have been dangerous even then. He was letting his emotions cloud his good judgment. He couldn't protect Bicky or save Dee if he allowed himself to go on like that.
Ryo finished his call and then began to walk back to the car. His foot hit something that went skittering across the asphalt. Ryo pocketed the phone and then bent to feel over the shadowed ground. His questing hands found Dee's wallet. "Bicky!" Ryo shouted. "Bring the flashlight!"
Dee kept feeling dizzy. Concussion, he suspected. The bleeding had stopped, but the headache was growing. The smell of the sewer was overpowering. His eyes watered and his shirt pulled over his nose didn't help at all. He had no idea what he was going to do.
Dee had pulled ineffectually at both the iron ladder rung and his hand cuffs. Nothing had budged. The iron rung, though rusted, was firmly riveted to the brick wall. The hand cuffs were solid and new. Short of cutting his leg off... Dee shivered at the thought of that. Even if he had something on him to do the job, the voice had warned that he had barred the grate overhead. Dee was trapped like a sewer rat. Nobody knew where he was. It was possible that he had been taken where no one would ever find him. It was very possible that he was going to die.
Dee thought of Ryo's handsome face, his liquid, black eyes, his soft, gentle smile. He sketched it out against the darkness and sighed. For so long, he had pursued that man. For so long, he had suffered both physically and mentally to make himself worthy of that man's trust. That their last words together would be words of anger and mistrust. That Ryo would remember him with J.J. latched onto him, grinding against him with raunchy abandon... Dee felt tear slip out and slide down his cheeks. He reached up to brush them away angrily. His fingers came in contact with the pencil still tucked behind his ear.
Dee drew the pencil out of his hair. It pulled and he winced. Holding it gingerly, he let a small prayer of thanks slip from his lips as he searched for something to write on. A wad of folded paper in his coat pocket met his questing fingers. The autopsy report for the Trent case and some napkins, used, waded up from lunch. For once, Ryo was going to be glad that Dee was a slob and that he hadn't filed the report before leaving or thrown away his trash. Thoughtfully, he began to write, hoping that he was making sense in the dim light and that his words were legible against the writing and the stains on the papers he was using.
Bicky held the flashlight while Ryo scanned the asphalt lot. He found Dee's driver's license. He held it to the light and saw that someone had written 'dead idiot' over it.
"No!" Ryo choked as he frantically searched again. He found some receipts, a few credit cards, and matchbooks from some of Dee's favorite hangouts. Ryo found his own photo in the end. The word 'fag' and some crude drawings defiled Ryo's smiling face.
"Gawd, Ryo!" Bicky gasped, swallowing hard. "Y-You don't think-You don't think Dee's dead do you?"
Ryo jerked the photo away so that Bicky couldn't see it. He let it drop to the ground, refusing to go numb, refusing to believe, refusing to shut down and cry. Dee needed him. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be! He, Ryo, still had to apologize, didn't he?
The trash led away from the wallet. Ryo's mind registered this slowly through his pain. It looked almost as if someone had been walking away from it, making mayhem with the contents as he walked.... walked in a certain direction.
The sounds of sirens came to Ryo's ears. He looked back over his shoulder and saw car lights approaching. His backup had arrived.
"Stay with them, Bicky," Ryo ordered briskly as he clicked the safety off of his gun. "I need to check something out, now."
"Shouldn't you w-wait?" Bicky stammered.
"I can't," Ryo replied and that was the simple truth as he began striding in the direction the trash pointed. He had to know now whether his hunch was correct. He had to know whether Dee... Dee's body lay at the end of that trail.
Ryo walked over to the lamplight. The loading dock was growing grass and weeds. It was ghostly still and almost surreal under that dim light. Ryo scanned the many shadows, searching. When he saw it, that still mound, he simply stood, stunned, unable to move. It was a body. He knew it instinctively. He could smell blood and death on the air.
"Koi!" Ryo breathed, and then shouted it in horror as he rushed forward and kneeled beside that still form. "Koi! Watakushi no kokoro! My heart, my love! This can't be! It can't! Dee! Shikkari shiro! Gomen nasai, Dee! Gomen nasai! I am so sorry for being angry with you, for doubting you! It can't be too late to say I'm sorry! It can't be too late to love you!"
"I accept your apology," Dee's voice said, floating up from the ground.
Ryo started with a gasp, realizing at the same time that the body he was weeping over wasn't Dee's!
"I hope you aren't kissing that bastard!" Dee growled.
Ryo wiped at his tears, sniffling as he scrambled to understand the situation. The body was lying over a grate. A sewer grate. "Dee?' Ryo sobbed. "Tell me that's you, koi."
"Yeah, it's me," Dee replied wearily, smiling as he shoved the papers he was still holding into his coat pocket along with the pencil. He patted the bulge and sighed with relief that it wasn't necessary to write his goodbye letter any longer.
There was the sound of Ryo moving metal against metal as he tried to unblock the grate. Dee's relief was replaced by embarrassment.
"He got the jump on me," Dee admitted. "Pretty stupid. Look for the key to my handcuffs. He probably has it on him somewhere." Dee felt a flush. "Yeah, don't laugh. He trussed me up with my own cuffs! I'm never going to live this down."
The grate gave and Ryo fell straight into the sewer water with a sickening splash. Dee winced as Ryo scrambled up and threw himself into Dee's arms, covering them both with dirt and stinking, wet refuse. His lips locked with Dee's and Ryo's arms were holding him tight enough to hurt. Around his tremendous kiss, Ryo was breathing rapid fire words in Japanese, breathless, sobbing.
"Gomen nasai, Dee. Aishite iru! Aishite iru, Dee! I will never doubt you again. Never! Love me! Please love me! Daijoubu ka, Dee? Please say something!"
Dee broke the kiss, stroking Ryo's face, trying to calm him down. "Shhhh, Ryo. I'm okay. I just have a knot on my head. Do you have the key? Unlock me so we can get out of here and you can apologize to me in a better place than this, okay?"
Ryo fumbled with the key. Dee finally took it from him and unlocked himself.
"Hey, you guys all right?" Bicky yelled down from above. A flashlight picked them out. "Gawd, what is that smell?"
"Sewer," another voice said and they saw the lights from other officers shinning above them. The voice called down. "Need help?"
"Nah!' Dee replied as he slowly stood up. "There's a ladder."
He swayed and then toppled. Ryo exclaimed and tried to catch him, but Dee's awkward weight knocked him off balance. Clutching at Dee, they both fell into the stinking water again, Ryo underneath.
"You're filthy," Dee said worriedly as his head spun.
Ryo's arms held him and his lover's warm lips, before they locked on his, said, "I don't care." That kiss made sinking into unconsciousness, sheer bliss.
'Sorry this is so bad written,' the letter said in a rough script. 'not much light. Last words for Ryo McLain.... Love you forever. Not mad. No sorry needed. Know you love me. Stupid J.J. His fault last words bad. Forget them. Love you. Say many times till can't say any more. Love you, Love. Like a song. Love to love you, Baby. Wish I was poet. Best I can do. Sorry.
Ryo sniffled and wiped a hand across his eyes as he lowered the crumpled up papers. He had been about to throw away all of their clothes from last night. They stank so badly that he couldn't even think of washing them and wearing them again. It had been sheer chance that his hands, bundling up the offensive cloth, had encountered the bulge of Dee's letter to him.
Ryo made his way over the remains of their living room, over the scattered refuse of the party he hadn't been able to clean up yet. After being checked out by a doctor, Dee had been okayed to go home. Ryo had been hovering over him ever since. Finally, after a long hours of washing each other off, holding each other, and reassuring each other that everything was all right again, Dee had fallen asleep. Only then had Ryo left him to confront the last of the hung over party guests. Waking them up, he had pushed them all out the door, ignoring their protests of pain.
Ryo entered the bedroom and slid into the bed next to Dee. He wrapped arms and legs around Dee and Dee sleepily opened his eyes. His nose wrinkled. "There's that smell again," he sighed wearily.
Ryo showed Dee the papers. Dee winced and then grinned sheepishly. "Pretty sappy, huh? Is that what stinks so bad?"
Ryo put the papers aside. "I don't care. I'm keeping them forever, Dee." Ryo began to cry and he hid his face against Dee's chest.
"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever read!"
"It's all from the heart," Dee replied and sleepily nuzzled Ryo's sweet smelling hair to banish the other smell. "It's how I feel. You can't doubt me ever again when my dying thoughts are of how much I love you, right?"
"Dee!" Ryo sobbed. "I just... It's me I doubted, don't you see? You're so handsome and-and experienced. I'm just boring, anal, Ryo. It amazes me that you can want someone like me."
Dee felt himself drifting, but Ryo's anguish kept him anchored long enough to reply, whispering it into Ryo's ear. "Don't say that again, it isn't true; my beautiful, gentle, kind Ryo. How do you say it? Aishite iru, Ryo. I love you. Stay with me here, Ryo, inside my heart. Forever. Okay? Don't doubt me or yourself again."
"Never again, Dee."
"Never," Dee echoed and slept safely in his lover's sweet arms.
****Owari****