Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the Fake characters, nor do I make any money off of this... God, I wished I did! :) Please don't sue me, I have big friends in high places... Okay, I just have big friends... big friends who are tall.
Warnings: Yaoi, guys having sex with guys (Oh, yeah!) Lemon, lemon, lemon, I warn you! Angst. Violence. Yummy, Yummy love (hey, sometimes that needs a warning too) Language. Extreme Bickiness. Gomen nasai for the bad Japanese.
Dee Latener watched a stray cat dig through a garbage can. Seat pushed back to its fullest, long legs stretched out, and big hands laced behind his head, he sighed for the hundredth time. His sigh tousled the bangs of his wild, disordered black hair, tickling his nose. He scratched the itch and then slid green eyes at his partner.
Ryo McLane was asleep, body nestled against the door of the car, knees drawn up and hands cushioning his handsome face. He looked like a child, an innocent child with an angel's face and a fall of honey brown hair. Dee had crushed that mouth with his, sucked on it, lapped inside that sweet mouth with his hot tongue. Dee's hands had caressed that washboard stomach, pulled at those delicate, pink nipples, cupped between those shapely legs and held the most sensitive part of the man with loving gentleness. He had taken Ryo in every way, loved him and made love, his manhood taking Ryo's virginity, pounding his partner's soft flesh into the sheets not once, but twice. Two times. Two times Dee had been given Heaven, an angel wrapped in moonlight.
Looking at Ryo now, Dee couldn't form the image of sleeping innocent and combine it with his memories of sex. It felt almost dirty, wrong, to sully that perfect image with thoughts like that, yet he 'wanted' Ryo so badly, felt the ache bellow his belt and in his heart to grasp and make love to that incomparable man beside him.
So timid, Dee thought, and sighed again. So embarrassed. So afraid, even now, of what Dee might do with him next. How could a man be so innocent, so naive, so ignorant of the pleasure his body could experience? Their second time together, Dee recalled uncomfortably, it had seemed almost like a rape, forcing his Ryo to admit what he wanted and to submit to that desire. Submit.
That sounded too cruel, but it was, in essence, exactly what Ryo had needed to do. Even now, Ryo fought, with himself and with Dee; a hatched chick who wanted to go back into its egg and forget that it had ever been born.
Ryo stirred. His fine brows drew down and he made a small sound. A dream? Dee watched his partner, his love, come slowly awake, disoriented, unsure for a moment why he was sleeping in a car. Memory washed over him like a wave then and he blinked in comprehension as he stiffly sat up. One slender hand went to his neck and rubbed at the kink there.
"Dee," It was Dee's name wrapped up in a yawn as Ryo stretched, as graceful and as sensual as a cat and completely unaware of it. "Anything yet?"
Dee snorted. "We wouldn't be sitting here with numb asses if there were," he grumbled. "The only crime I've seen so far is a cat stealing garbage."
Ryo narrowed eyes to where Dee absently pointed. His eyes widened and he gave a little shiver. "That's a rat, Dee."
Dee looked again and whistled in awe. "Damn, that's big!"
"That's what's left of your pastrami, sardine, and blue cheese sandwich isn't it?" Ryo said around another yawn. "It proves my theory that only you and rats would eat something like that."
"Well, I see he isn't eating what's left of your white rice and vegetables," Dee retorted acidly. "That proves my theory, that only YOU would eat that health food garbage."
"You're not a nice man when you haven't slept," Ryo observed as he poured coffee into a cup from a thermos.
"And you're not nice after you've slept in a car, so I guess we're even," Dee snapped back.
"Hmm," was Ryo's only reply as he drank his coffee.
The argument was forgotten that quickly. It really wasn't an argument at all, just a release of tension and frustration. Both of them understood that. They had been staking out an apartment complex all night, waiting for their suspect to show and try and deal drugs. Dealing the drugs was only a ruse. The man offered them only to women. When he found one he liked, he took her off to rape and kill her... or at least that's what he was suspected of doing. It was Dee and Ryo's job to find out if it was true and to catch him in the act.
"I wonder if we'll argue this much when we're living together?" Dee said with faked casualness. He had been waiting for an opening all night, wanting to brooch the subject at last. Their small argument seemed tailor made to carry him over the wall of Ryo's reticence.
Ryo blushed and became flustered. "Nan datte? Uh, live together?"
"Yeah," Dee persisted doggedly, "Like two people in love usually do? You don't really want me to keep going between apartments every night?"
"That's what you've always done," Ryo replied nervously. He was looking down at his hands. They were clasped around his coffee cup so hard that the hot coffee must have been burning them.
Dee tried another tack. "Uh, I see.... You don't want me to move in, is that it?" He put on his best expression of hurt. He almost didn't have to pretend. Ryo's timidness could hurt worse than a kick in the gut sometimes. Dee hated not to be trusted by this man that he loved so much.
"I don't think we should be discussing this here," Ryo said firmly, trying to avoid the topic all together.
Like a fish Dee was trying to catch, he reeled Ryo back into the conversation sharply. "We're always working, Ryo. That's why living together is so important. We can't have a good relationship an hour or two a day." Ryo didn't respond. His blush just deepened.
"Ryo? Is there something you're not telling me? We haven't been together, I mean really been together, if you know what I mean, for a week now." When Ryo looked away, staring fixedly out of the widow, Dee thought that he had hit the nail on the head. He let out a frustrated sigh.
"I can't fix what's wrong if you won't talk about it, Ryo," Dee urged. "If I did something wrong, something you didn't like, I won't know unless you tell me. It takes time to get it right, Ryo, especially for couples like us. It, uh, well, dammit, I know it hurts, but it will until your body gets used to me. Once that happens, it'll be all right, Ryo, you'll feel good when we do it. Please, trust me on that, okay, Baby?"
Ryo had turned his head to look at Dee, mouth slightly open in surprise. It took his beautiful partner a moment before he could interrupt. "Dee! What are you saying? It isn't THAT at all! I-," Ryo blushed blood red and floundered as he talked about what was such an embarrassing subject to him. "It does hurt... but, I love you. I want to be with you. I just..." He swallowed convulsively. "I wanted to wait until... until IT stopped hurting before we... before we tried again, okay?" He lifted a slender hand and covered his red face, hiding his eyes from Dee.
"I'm sorry." Dee felt like a heel. He sat back in his seat with his hands lax between his legs, staring out at the night shrouded street. "I didn't realize that I hurt you that bad. I-I just... I waited so long, I guess, and I couldn't, once I had you, keep myself under control."
Ryo grabbed Dee's hand and squeezed hard. "Dee, stop it, okay?" Dee turned his head and looked into Ryo's dark eyes. The love he saw there made his heart ache in response. "I'm trained in self defense. You didn't overpower me, Dee. You didn't r-rape me, or anything like that! I could have put a stop to it at any time, please believe that! I-I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd react just this way. I don't want you to be guilty. What we did was special. Please, don't make it sad or-or dirty by being sorry."
Dee raised Ryo's hand to his lips and kissed it passionately. "Okay. We'll go very slow next time." He raised his eyes to Ryo's and he saw Ryo smiling trustingly back at him. That was worth more than a thousand nights in the sheets with his lover.
Dee picked up his lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He opened the car door and slid out. "I need a smoke. I'll be back in a few."
Ryo nodded and turned his attention back to the apartment building. Dee drank in that handsome profile and then sighed happily as he lit up his cigarette and strolled down the run down street. He had gone only a few feet when he scowled and felt miserable again. The subject of their moving in together had taken an interesting sidetrack, but the original subject was still unresolved and Dee still didn't know why. If it wasn't about the sex, then what was bothering Ryo?
Ryo watched his lanky partner walking slowly away, the glow of his cigarette like a tiny firefly every time he took a puff. Ryo knew that smoking was bad, but he liked that taste of tobacco on Dee's tongue and the rich aroma that filled the air when ever Dee lit up. Ryo's own father had been a smoker and, he supposed, he had grown up thinking of it as a masculine past time. When Dee smoked, it was both comforting... and strangely sexy.
I am definitely uke, Ryo thought, bemused at himself. He liked Dee being masculine, strong, and, when they made love, seme and in charge. Dee was never timid, never embarrassed. Ryo needed that. Left to himself, he would never have dared anything intimate with another man, even though, looking back over his unsatisfying affairs with women, he now knew it was men he really wanted to be intimate with. One man in particular, Ryo amended with a blush. So, why was it so hard to be honest with him?
Dee was wearing a tank top in the Summer heat. As he skirted the light from a lamp post, Ryo could see the strong curve of his shoulder, the slim neck, and the firm line of his jaw. Their first time together had been perfect, a surrender for Ryo to allow another man to have him that way, but also a complete expression of their love. Dee had been so careful, so attentive, and so understanding, that the burning, stretching pain of Dee taking his virginity, hadn't touched Ryo. He had been too lost in the warmth of Dee's arms, the feel of his passionate kisses, and the knowledge that Dee had wanted all of him, not just Ryo's body, but heart, mind, and soul.
The second time had been so different, Ryo recalled. It was if they had been dreaming the first time, a pleasant, joyful dream. The second time had been in harsh reality. Ryo had balked, Dee had persuaded forcefully. Ryo felt a flush to the roots of his hair when he recalled Dee stroking his cock hard with a large hand, demanding that Ryo become aroused for him, admit with his body what Ryo wouldn't admit with his mind; that he wanted Dee to have him.
It had been embarrassingly exciting when Dee had put Ryo onto his stomach and worked inside of Ryo with his broad fingers; wetting him, preparing him, until Ryo had writhed under Dee's assault. Ryo had felt ashamed of his reaction to it, ashamed to lift up his hips and want more, ashamed even more when Dee had replaced his fingers with his large, stiff cock and rode him fast and furious.
Ryo had felt, at the time, that he was going to die from the combined sensation of tearing, burning flesh and electric pleasure. When it had all ended with them tangled together, sticky and wet from semen and sweat, Ryo had almost resented the act, resented the fact that it had been animal, base, and so far removed from the beauty of the first time. Dee had held him though, kissed him, and looked deep into his eyes with all the love in his heart. Only then did Ryo understand. There was Heaven and then there was regular life. They couldn't live in Heaven forever. Still, real life wasn't so bad either, Ryo had been forced to admit, he had enjoyed the sex and the feeling of being filled and possessed by the man he loved, both times, without a doubt.
So, the next step was obvious, Ryo thought with a sigh. Move in together. Set up house. Learn the rhythms of each other's lives and combine them in harmony to make one life. If they could, Ryo thought fearfully. They were so different. They had grown used to being on their own, living their own lives, following their own rules. Staying for dinner, staying a few nights platonically, every now and then when there were early shifts or late night cases, or just spending a day relaxing together, was a very different relationship than one where they would be together constantly, at work and at home.
Dee had often complained about Ryo's penchant for neatness, for his tastefully arranged life, and his almost mothering (or nagging, as Dee had put it) demeanor towards Dee and Bicky, often treating them as if they were the same age and dependent on Ryo's care and nurturing skills. When Dee could escape to his disordered, empty beer can and pizza box strewn lifestyle, such things could be put up with. What would happen when Dee didn't have that comforting escape?
And what would he do, Ryo wondered, when he was forced to pick up after Dee, smell his smoke all of the time, and be uke to Dee's seme on a regular basis? Would he end up being turned into a wife for Dee, cooking, cleaning, pestering, hectoring and... Ryo blushed red to his ears, submitting to Dee's hyper libido more often than he, Ryo might want? Ryo loved Dee, but that wasn't the life he wanted to lead.
Two problems, Ryo thought and chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at the apartment building, almost wishing that their suspect would make an appearance and stop him from having to think about the subject any longer. Could they stand each other and learn to adapt? Could they live as equals, even though Ryo preferred Dee to be in the masculine role and he, Ryo to be... no, he wouldn't say feminine, that's exactly what he didn't want. Ryo thought about it some more and then cautiously amended, he wanted Dee to make love to him, be strong when he, Ryo, was timid and embarrassed. Ryo couldn't imagine ever taking the lead, ever being seme. He, Ryo, was simply too inhibited to enjoy a position like that. If Dee ever left it up to him to initiate anything physical, Dee would be spending many nights in a cold bed. Ryo liked the sex, and he was sure, trusting Dee's word, that he would grow used to it and enjoy it even more, but he didn't have a libido like Dee's and he didn't 'need' it like Dee did.
Problem number three.... Ryo sighed and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the car window. Bicky suspected that something had happened between Ryo and Dee and he wasn't taking that suspicion well. Ryo didn't intend to kick the boy out. If Dee wanted to move in, Bicky came with the apartment and Ryo. Rivalry and dislike was going to have to be, somehow, left at the door. Bicky was Ryo's responsibility. He wasn't going to compromise that even for love of Dee. He wouldn't give a boy, who had already escaped one abusive, violent life, another one in his adopted home. That also led to another train of thought, but touching on the same subject. Was it right to have a relationship like his and Dee's in front of the boy at all?
Bicky had already angrily expressed his opinion that Dee was a pervert and that Ryo should avoid that kind of behavior at all costs. What would it be like to be in the room next to Bicky's, making love to Dee and knowing that the boy knew what they were doing?
It made Ryo cringe and go as cold as the window. He didn't even think that he could respond sexually in that situation at all.
Why couldn't things stay just the way they were? That was Ryo's solution, even though he knew how unrealistic it was. He was very good at sticking his head in the sand. He'd been doing it with Dee for nearly two years, neatly avoiding confrontations with unpleasant subjects. Unfortunately, Ryo had a feeling that Dee wasn't going to let him get away with that this time. The man had that burning, determined look on his face again, the same one he had worn when Ryo had tried to backtrack their relationship and avoid having sex the second time. Dee was going to get his man, that look said, and his place in Ryo's life.
Ryo brought himself back to the here and now. Dee was taking a long while with his cigarette. Maybe he needed to think? In the next instant, Ryo discarded that and took off the safety on his gun. Dee didn't spend time thinking. That wasn't his style.
Ryo tried to peer through the windshield of the car, hoping to see Dee ahead of the car somewhere, but the street was completely empty. That in itself was strange. There had been a few young men loitering by a boarded up house earlier. Now there wasn't any sign of them either.
It was a temptation to jump out of the car and go after Dee immediately, but Ryo was too well trained. Heart pounding, he radioed into the station and told them the situation. He gave himself five minutes to find Dee and return to call back in. If he failed to do that, back up would be sent automatically.
Procedures implemented, Ryo couldn't get out of the car fast enough. His eyes scanned the street nervously as he left the comforting glow of a street lamp and entered into the darkness. He didn't call out for Dee. They were undercover. For all Ryo knew, Dee had just wandered off to find a place to pee and was probably already strolling back to the car, unaware of his partner's anxiety.
The tiny glow of Dee's cigarette caught Ryo's attention. It was off to the side of the sidewalk, directly in front of a pitch black ally way. Ryo might have still thought that Dee had ducked into the ally to relieve himself, if it wasn't for the length left to the cigarette. It was nearly out, the long line of ash telling Ryo that Dee hadn't smoked it down that far, but had discarded it for some reason early on. Knowing how Dee took long drags and cherished every puff of his habit, that wasn't in character at all.
Ryo drew his gun and held it poised, barrel vertical, in both hands as he cautiously took one small crab step into the alley after another, listening, squinting, and sweating from the heat and anxiety. Softly he dared to call, "Dee?"
Nothing, but Ryo swore that he heard breathing; heavy, multiple breaths. He tightened his grip on his gun as he took one last step and then his shoe nudged into something soft on the ground. The hairs on Ryo's neck stood up, but he didn't let the fear of the unknown stop him from bending and touching that object with one hand. Silky skin and the edge of a tank top met Ryo's questing fingers.
"Dee?!" Ryo exclaimed and fell to his knees as his hand fumbled to find Dee's pulse along his neck. In that instant, before he knew whether Dee was alive or dead, Ryo's mind imagined a lifetime without him, a life spent alone, because, Ryo thought wildly, he would never want or love anyone as much as Dee. Ryo gasped under the pressure of crushing guilt for all the things he should have said, all the tender moments lost to stubborn, timid, uptight, and inhibited nonsense. That guilt stabbed into Ryo's heart with blackest despair just as his fingertips felt Dee's strong pulse. "Thank God!" Ryo choked out and couldn't stop from shaking with relief.
A small sound alerted Ryo to danger, a small misstep of someone trying to be stealthy. Ryo raised his gun again. "Who's there?!"
"Idiot!" A voice snapped to Ryo's left. "Now he knows!"
Ryo pointed his gun towards the voice. "I'm armed!" Ryo warned.
Ryo didn't get an answer, but he knew the people in the darkness hadn't left. They were thinking up a new tactic. It was a good time to leave and get back to the street where there was light, but Ryo was slighter and smaller than Dee. Ryo wasn't certain that he could drag the man with only one arm while he kept his gun ready to defend them both.
"We're going to get you, pig!" The voice was young and angry, full of self assurance. "We're going to mess you up just like that guy there! We don't want you hanging out on our street. We're going to make you sorry that you ever stuck your pig noses in our neighborhood!"
So much for being undercover, Ryo thought fearfully. In a small neighborhood, where everyone knew everyone else, being marked as a stranger was always a possibility. Dee had given them the perfect opportunity. Ryo had inadvertently given them another. He was lucky that the men in the darkness either didn't have a gun of their own or were reluctant to use it and draw attention to the crime from the nearby apartment buildings. Ryo wasn't willing to open fire on unknown targets. For all he knew, his assailants could be children. That left a stalemate, one that Ryo was certain wouldn't last long. Either they would get the jump on him in the darkness or his back up would arrive and discover them in the ally. The edge was with his assailants.
Something hit Ryo hard, a rock, perhaps, or a piece of the decrepit paving. It stung and cut Ryo on the arm. He flinched and hissed. Another projectile hit the wall behind him and then another. That told Ryo something. He didn't know where they were, but they weren't sure of his exact location either. Ryo stifled the warning he had been about to utter and simply hunkered down over Dee's prone body, making himself as small a target as possible.
Ryo's assailants moved about nervously. They wanted blood, but they weren't willing to get killed to have it. When Ryo heard faint whispering, he tightened his grip on his gun and psyched himself to use it, knowing the real confrontation was about to start. He wasn't disappointed. They rushed him, trying to take him by surprise. Ryo fired once. Bodies scrambled, hit, kicked, and dragged at Ryo. One kick caught Ryo by sheer luck in the hand. His gun went flying.
"Beat the shit out of him!" The young voice ordered and Ryo curled into a protective ball as that order began to be carried out.
Light blinded everyone in the ally. "Freeze! Police!" A strong voice shouted.
Bodies erupted off of Ryo and went flying down the ally. Shoes pounded the broken pavement in pursuit. One officer stayed behind, crouching by Ryo as Ryo uncurled with a groan. The officer helped him sit.
"I'll call an ambulance," the officer said.
Ryo's response was to grab the flashlight out of the officer's hand, ignoring the man's startled protest, and to scramble over to the prone Dee. When Ryo flashed the light down on his partner, he chewed down hard on a sob, making his bottom lip bleed as he gently turned Dee onto his back. Dee was covered in blood. It looked as if they had worked over him with a baseball bat.
"His gun is gone!' Ryo snapped to the officer and the officer immediately radioed ahead to the other police officers to warn them.
"Get that ambulance!" Ryo ordered after that was done. "He's hurt bad!"
Ryo retrieved his own weapon, still where it had fallen, holstered it, and then returned to kneel and put Dee's head in his lap. Ryo had wondered, after their first night together, how open their relationship would be. At that moment, Ryo didn't care that the silent cop was watching as he held Dee close and stroked his face. He didn't care that the cop heard him tell Dee that he loved him and to hold on until help arrived. He didn't even care if the man saw a few tears slip his control. All that Ryo cared about was Dee.
"Punks messed him up bad," The man said, feeling a need to comfort Ryo with sad experience. "My men will get them, don't worry. I lost a partner too. I know how it feels. They get to be like an extra arm you can't live without. When you're suddenly forced too, it hurts like hell."
"I'm not losing, Dee!" Ryo snarled and then swallowed hard as he struggled to calm down. "Sorry."
"S'okay," the officer drawled sympathetically, but he turned and put a hand to his eyes as if he were fighting for composure too.
"Dee, shikkari shiro!" Ryo begged very softly, desperately, stress tangling his thoughts so much that he mixed English with Japanese in his emotional confusion. The officer was staring at him, wide eyed in the angled light of the flashlight. It was hard to tell what that look meant, disgust or sympathy. Ryo still didn't care as he continued to beg, "Don't die, Dee. Aishite ru, Dee, no kokoro. I love you, Dee, my heart. Dee no kokoro, shikkari shiro!"
The ambulance arrived and the paramedics checked Dee over carefully before they loaded him onto a stretcher. Ryo hovered anxiously. "I'm his partner. Is he all right?"
"Concussion," one paramedic rattled off as they strapped Dee securely to the stretcher and placed medical equipment along side him. "Broken ribs, maybe, but mostly contusions and minor scrapes. Blood pressure's low. We won't know if there's any internal damage until we get him to the hospital. We'll need complete information on him. He's listed in the police database, correct?"
"Yes," Ryo replied, not comforted at all by the paramedics sketchy assessment of Dee's condition.
"Good," the paramedic nodded to his companion and they lifted Dee up on the stretcher. "Does he have a family that should be contacted?"
"Uh, no," Ryo stammered. "He- he's an orphan."
"No wife or kids?" the paramedic continued as they quickly carried Dee to the ambulance.
Ryo followed, suddenly struck by how alone Dee really was in the world. "No, he doesn't have anyone...," Ryo watched them slide Dee into the ambulance. He amended with a red face, almost too soft for the paramedic to here. "W- we're, uh, lovers."
The paramedic blinked at him and Ryo found himself looking away. "Did your partner sign papers giving you the right to make medical decisions for him?"
"No," Ryo admitted with a sinking heart.
"Then I'm afraid that you can't come with the ambulance. Only family are allowed." The paramedic climbed in with Dee and the other one went to climb into the driver's seat. "We're taking him to Victoria Hospital. " The paramedic rattled off the address and Ryo nodded numbly. The man narrowed eyes at Ryo. "You might want to check in there too. You have some nasty bruising on your face. You're not dizzy or seeing double are you? Feeling nauseas?" Ryo shook his head no to each question. "Still," the man said. "Never hurts to be sure, okay? Check yourself in and that way you can look in on your partner too."
"Okay, I'll do that."
"Good." The paramedic slammed the doors shut in Ryo's face.
Ryo was left standing in the darkness, watching the ambulance speed off into the night. Only then did he begin to feel sick, but it was caused by emotional turmoil, and reaction to the past events, rather than his own bruising. He turned and checked with the officers as they returned with only a few of the suspects. Ryo couldn't identify them and none of them sounded like the voice of the only one who had spoken.
Ryo dazedly gave a report to one of the officers, responding to questions in a monotone as his face grew pale and his eyes clouded with unshed tears. The officer either finished his report in record time, or took pity on Ryo. He closed his clipboard full of papers with a definite click, and told Ryo he could go.
Ryo walked slowly back to Dee's car. He climbed into the driver's seat and sat for the longest time, just breathing in the smell of tobacco that always lingered in Dee's car. Only then did Ryo allow himself to really cry. He leaned his face against the steering wheel and wept long and hard.
"Hey, cry baby," a young voice taunted and Ryo felt the barrel of Dee's gun placed roughly against the side of his face. "We're going to have some fun. Drive where I tell you and I won't shoot you right away."
Ryo cautiously slid his eyes sideways. A young man in denim pants and jacket stood just outside the car. His hair was braided in a dozen small dred locks and his eyes were narrow and vicious in a pimply, dark face. Ryo hadn't noticed that the driver's side window was rolled down. The young punk was sticking the gun through it while he darted eyes at Ryo and then at the street like a jumpy animal. Ryo recognized his voice. He was the boy who had threatened him in the ally way.
"You're going to pay good for what you just done," The boy snarled. "Nobody messes with my friends! Nobody!"
Ryo looked ahead of the car, knowing what he would see. He wasn't disappointed. The other police officers were all gone. Ryo was alone. He had made himself a perfect target once again.
"You're so pretty," the boy crooned mockingly. His free hand grabbed Ryo's chin roughly. "I was creeping around your car earlier and heard you talking. That's how I knew you were cops. That other guy screws you, huh? Handy, him being your partner and all. I thought you were going to pass the time by doing each other right then. I was ready to call the guys and trash you too, if you'd done that. I don't want fags cock sucking in my neighborhood, watching my gang, screwing on my street corner. Maybe I'll pop you in the ass with this gun, your partner's gun, and leave you out with the trash for him to find. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Don't move, homo. I'm coming around."
The boy went around the car, opened the passenger side door, and slid in. Slamming the door shut, he grinned at Ryo. "You are damned pretty. Maybe I should let you do me, before I pop you, huh? Wanna have some?"
The boy grabbed Ryo by the hair and forced Ryo's head down towards his crotch. Ryo stiffened and the boy put the gun to his forehead again.
"Unzip me and do it, fag!" the boy ordered.
Ryo kept silent, waiting for his moment, the moment when the boy might give him a second of opportunity. He didn't think about what the boy was saying. It was as much trash as the boy himself. Ryo simply stared with his dark eyes. That unnerved the boy. He wanted a reaction. He wanted Ryo to be afraid, to beg.
"You're gonna die right here and now, fag, if you don't do me!" The boy threatened.
"I'll do it. Please, don't hurt me," Ryo said at last, with fear that was hardly faked. "Just... You'll have to unzip your own pants and take it out. You messed up my hand pretty bad back in the ally."
The boy grunted, pleased now. His free hand lowered to his pants and began tugging at his zipper. When that didn't work, he was forced to lower the hand with the gun to assist. That's when Ryo jumped him, grabbing at the gun just as the barrel tilted away from him.
The gun went off. The bullet plowed into the seat as Ryo crushed the boy into the car door and wrestled the gun away. Bringing the barrel up, Ryo aimed it at the boy's head, the tables turned now.
"God! God! Please don't kill me, man!" the boy wailed. "I was just kidding! Yeah! I wasn't going to do nothing! Your buddy, it wasn't my idea to mess with him! It was Frankie. Yeah, I'll show you where Frankie hangs. You can get him back, man. Come on! Don't shoot me, man!"
Ryo dug under the seat and found a pair of Dee's handcuffs. He brought them out and silently handcuffed the boy securely. Opening the passenger side door, he forced the boy out and then into the back seat. There was a bar with another set of handcuffs low down and out of sight. Ryo handcuffed the boy too it. The boy was terrified by that time, expecting the worst, expecting revenge.
"I'm a police officer. A good one," Ryo assured the boy. "I don't care what you've done to me and my partner. I don't care what you were GOING to do to me. I'm taking you to the station, unharmed, so that the law can deal with you."
And then, Ryo sobbed silently in frustration, I'm going to find out how Dee is!
"McLane!"
Ryo held up a weary hand as he finished his cell call. "I expect you to be in School, Bicky. Get going! I'll be there when you get home. Please, thank Mrs. Thompson for checking up on you while I was on assignment. Dee? No, Dee won't be coming to the apartment. No, Bicky, I haven't dumped him!" Ryo exploded, closed his eyes for a moment , and then opened them as he continued in a more restrained tone. "Sorry, Bicky. I know you didn't mean to get me angry. Dee's been hurt. I have to get to the hospital and .... things keep coming up. I- I don't even know...," Ryo put a hand to his eyes almost breaking down. "Just, do as I say Bicky and we'll talk about this later. Get going now."
Ryo turned off his cell phone. Sitting at his desk, with the young punk handcuffed in the seat beside him, he had been wading through paperwork, trying to make sense out of the rambling, belligerent answers the boy was giving him. He was underage and Ryo had to arrange to have him taken to Juvenile Detention. The boy refused to name his parents or where he lived. That added to the paperwork.
"McLane." The voice said again. Ryo looked up and found Barkley Rose, the Commissioner, standing next to the young punk. Big and overbearing in a tailored suit, the Head, as he was nicknamed, was almost a blonde version of Dee, complete with a strong attraction to Ryo.
"Sir," Ryo responded numbly.
Barkley just stared for a full minute, until Ryo began to ask what he wanted. The Commissioner cut him off. "You look like Hell. Dreig! Take this Juvie and finish his paperwork!" When the big detective had collared the punk and taken him over to his desk, Barkley lowered himself into the vacated chair. "Dee's all right," Barkley told Ryo. "The hospital called us, since he doesn't have any close kin."
"Thank God," Ryo breathed and slumped on his desk on top of the paperwork.. He ran a hand through his honey colored hair and his pale face, full of bruises, had an expression of utter relief.
"You'll want to see him," Barkley said and he sounded on edge, still angry that Dee had taken what he had always hoped to get, not Ryo's love, but Ryo's virginity. Because of that, Barkley was finding it hard to feel charitable towards Dee even in that situation.
"Take the day off," Barkley ordered. "Tomorrow too. I need my detectives working on all cylinders, not distracted by personal business."
"Thank you," Ryo whispered and then stronger. "I appreciate this, sir."
Barkley narrowed eyes at Ryo. "You really love him, don't you?" He said it as if it had left a bad taste in his mouth.
Ryo's face flamed and he felt heat travel up from his toes all the way to the tips of his ears. He automatically began to deny it, to cover it up, to avoid the embarrassment. Something in Barkley's blue eyes made him just stop. Ryo recalled Dee, unconscious in that ally, street punks closing in for the kill. Ryo recalled as well, his own whispered confession to the ambulance driver, a useless attempt to try and go with them to the hospital. Lastly, Ryo thought of the ugly words spouted from the young mouth of the punk at Dreigs' desk, the disgust, the hate, the condemnation of what was between Dee and Ryo. Denying, now, what he felt for Dee, would have been a betrayal, an affirmation that it was dirty and wrong, and a lie pure and simple.
Ryo was done being timid. Almost losing Dee gave him the strength to put aside his timidness and his fear of embarrassment. He swallowed hard, looked Barkley level in the eyes and said, "Yes, sir, I-I love Dee."
Barkley stood as if Ryo had jabbed him in the stomach. His face had gone stony. Maybe he had hoped to see Ryo waver, pull back from admitting any feelings for the dark detective, or, hopefully, deny the relationship all together, giving Barkley the opening to try for Ryo again. His disappointment was obvious. "You're a beautiful person, inside and out, Ryo," he said in an undertone. "If Dee doesn't appreciate that, if he breaks your heart, I'll-," Barkley stopped himself, but Ryo could tell he was seething. "Go on," Barkley continued at last. "Get out of here and get to the hospital."
"Thank you, sir," Ryo replied uncomfortably, feeling a little sorry for the Commissioner, but too eager to do as he was ordered and get to Dee to stay and try and talk with the man further. He left Barkley staring after him, as Ryo yanked his coat from the back of his chair and rushed for the elevator.
Dee fretted, hands twisting in his thin blanket, hospital bed tilted up so that he could watch the television suspended from the ceiling. He didn't have a private room, but partitions kept the other patients from invading what little privacy Dee did have.
For the hundredth time, Dee heard a noise at the door. He looked, expecting Ryo each time, not giving up even though all the other times it had only been one of the numerous nurses come to check on his vitals, check his drip fluids, and utter practiced phrases that never bordered on any real conversation. This time, though, Dee could hardly believe it when Ryo did walk in, quick and anxious as he searched the room for Dee.
"Hey, Ryo! Over here!" Dee called and winced at the pain it caused his head.
Why did I ever think he was cold? Dee thought as Ryo rushed to his bedside in relief and clasped Dee's big hand in his slender, softer one. His expression was tender, full of love and fear for Dee, and... something else... determination? Dee couldn't guess what the last meant.
"Daijo bu desu ka?!"
"In English, Ryo! Why do you always revert to Japanese when you get emotional? I have enough trouble with English, ya know?"
"Gomen nasai, uh, sorry, Dee," Ryo cleared his throat, blinked back tears. "It's stupid, I know. I just asked if you were all right?"
"Hey, it's not stupid! Sometimes, it's damn cute," Dee grinned. "Especially when you yell in Japanese during sex. I'm fine, Ryo, really."
Ryo nodded and then he clutched convulsively at Dee's hands and he cried out, "I thought that they had killed you!"
"It's all right now, Baby," Dee replied softly. He brought Ryo's hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. "Doctor says I just had a good knock on the head and few cracked ribs. Those punks were whussies! They didn't punch very hard."
Ryo blinked, wiped the back of his hand across his nose and sniffled. Dee narrowed his eyes at all the bruises covering his partner's lovely face.
"No one's told me anything," Dee said. "Fill me in, okay? I want to know who's ass I'm gonna kick into jail for the rest of his life!"
"He's a juvie," Ryo replied softly. "They all were. I called for backup after you didn't come back from your smoke."
"And didn't wait for it to come!" Dee growled accusingly. "What happened to 'by the book' Ryo?"
Ryo firmed his chin, stung. "Would you have stayed in the car if it had been me?"
"I wouldn't have waited long enough to call for backup," Dee admitted. He pressed Ryo's hand to his bandaged heart. "Okay, the rest of it."
Ryo lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, sitting sideways and looking any where but at Dee. "I found you in that ally, unconscious, but your assailants closed in before I could pull you out. They managed to rush me and get in some blows, but backup came then and stopped them from..."
Dee's hand clenched painfully on Ryo's hand and he struggled to sit up as his other hand cupped Ryo's face. He made Ryo look at him, look him in the eye. His beautiful love, at the mercy of... "They didn't try to- to-"
Ryo stammered back, "N-No! They just tried to beat me up, maybe kill me, I think."
"You're a tough cop, Ryo," Dee said, sensing things unsaid. "What's rattled you? I can tell you're upset. What happened that you're not telling me about?"
Ryo pulled away and stood up again. He clasped his arms across his chest as if he were in pain. "It's hard to talk about. Can I please wait until you're out of here? I think.... people can hear us. I don't want anyone to hear what I have to say."
Cryptic and upsetting.
Dee picked up the call button and pressed it hard. A nurse appeared and Dee ordered briskly, "Get my clothes and some release forms. I'm getting out of here now."
The nurse raised her eyebrows, not amused by what she considered a joke. "Mr. Latener, I think you should speak with your doctor before making any such rash decisions. You're chart says that you're to be observed closely due to the concussion you received."
"Get me the doctor," Dee replied, unswayed. "Get me the release forms and the doctor. I'm going to be in the care of my partner here. My 'PARTNER', if you get my drift, in more ways than one?"
The nurse turned the same color of red as Ryo as she developed a shocked expression on her face and quickly left to find the doctor.
"Dee, " Ryo complained.
"Oh, I forgot," Dee replied and couldn't help expressing some of his pent up heart ache. "You're still not comfortable with 'us'. Is that why it took so long for you to show up here, you didn't want the guys at the station to think-"
Ryo turned his back completely, face pinched in anguish. "Do you really think I would do something like that?"
"Didn't you? If not, then tell me what happened!" Dee demanded. "Who cares who hears it, Ryo? What does it matter what anyone thinks but us?"
"It matters," Ryo replied darkly and then made up his mind and turned to face Dee. It was terrible, Dee thought, to see Ryo's handsome face so distraught, bruises livid and eyes red with threatening tears.
"Tell me why it matters, so that I can understand," Dee begged.
Ryo came to stand by the bedside. He looked down and picked at the cover with one hand nervously. "I wanted to go with you in the ambulance. I was so afraid for you. I even- I even told the paramedic that we were... lovers. I was desperate. I still couldn't go Dee. I wasn't your family."
"You are my family," Dee argued softly.
"They didn't think so. They never will."
Dee sighed, full of pain; an old gnawing pain. "So, what are you saying? You don't want to be together because they don't recognize what we are to each other?"
"No!" Ryo snapped in frustration. He tried to explain further. "I went back to your car. I was going to drive to the hospital. I-I was upset. I sat... I don't know how long, just having a melt down. One of the juvies stuck your gun in my face and... he told me he'd heard everything that we had said to each other. He called us names, said we were sick. He was going to kill me and leave me in the trash for you to find."
"That little bastard!" Dee exclaimed in horror and then groaned at Ryo's expression, "You're not letting a punk like that upset you?"
"He wanted me to... "Ryo faltered. "I don't think I can say the word, but he pushed my face towards his pants and, while he was unzipping them, I managed to get the gun away from him."
Dee went white. He stared at his partner, his love, hating himself for verbally attacking Ryo when the man was clearly traumatized. Dee had seen that glazed look that Ryo was wearing at many crime scenes. It was the mind, Dee knew, trying to deny what had happened and pretend that everything was still normal, that something terrible hadn't happened.
"I had to arrest him," Ryo continued. "I had to take him to the station and fill out- fill out the paperwork. I wanted... Dee, please believe that I wanted to come here right away! I couldn't though... The Head finally took the case away from me and told me to go."
"For once I have to thank him," Dee replied, hating that he owed Barkley anything.
"Can I talk about the rest later, Dee?" Ryo asked plaintively.
"There's more?!" Dee pressed the call button again. "Where's the damned nurse with my clothes! We are getting out of here, now, and then you are going to tell me everything, Ryo!"
Ryo pulled up the blankets of his bed and covered Dee as if he were a child. Dee was puffing agitatedly on his cigarette, propped on pillows, feeling every one of his aches and pains acutely, but his concern for Ryo making all of them distant and unimportant.
They had driven to Ryo's apartment in silence, Ryo refusing to talk. Once in the apartment, an exhausted Dee hadn't been able to do anything, but lean heavily on his partner and hobble into the bedroom.
Bicky glared from the doorway. "Aww, Ryo! You said you weren't bringing him here! Good for nothing is probably just faking it! You know his mind games! Why do ya keep falling for 'em?"
Dee had made a cutting motion across his throat and shot a look at Ryo, one of such concern that Bicky had, for once, taken the hint and shut up. He looked at Ryo too and saw the man's tight mouthed expression and bruised, pale face. That was so unlike Ryo that Bicky didn't know what to do.
"Uh, maybe I can get something for you, Ryo?" Bicky stammered. "Or at least help you with stupid, pervert there?" he wasn't prepared for Ryo to turn away and put a hand over his face, taking in a sharp breath that almost sounded like a sob.
Ryo said distinctly. "Yamero! Don't say that ever again, okay Bicky? I don't want to hear it. If-If Dee and-, if it bothers you so much I can have Services find you a better home, okay?"
"Hey!" Bicky exclaimed, hurt and afraid now. "I don't wanna nother home! I was just kidding, Ryo. Ya know I don't mean nothing! Don't make me go away!"
"You're scaring the kid, Ryo!" Dee objected, surprised that he was being forced to come to the annoying Bicky's defense. "He's called me a lot worse than pervert and it didn't make you angry. You don't have to jump all over him for it now."
"Yes, I do!" Ryo snapped. "Yes I do have to. I'm not going to listen to those sorts of insults any longer. I can't, not when..."
"When what?" Bicky said before Dee could. "What's wrong, Ryo? Why are ya so upset?"
"Bad day, kid," Dee replied for Ryo. "Why don't you let us have some adult talk and go play with your dolls or something?"
"And leave him with you?" Bicky retorted hotly.
"Yes," Dee replied levelly. "Get used to it."
Bicky heard something new in Dee's voice, determination and a possessiveness that hadn't been there before. His suspicions confirmed at last, he exploded, "Oh, man! You two jumped each other, didn't you?! Crap! This is just-"
"Just what?" Ryo turned and lowered his hand. His eyes were definitely red with tears. "You've known all along what I am, what Dee is. Like I said before, If you can't handle it, I'll call Services. I don't want to. You know I care for you, Bicky, but, I have to lead my life, all right? Dee is part of that life."
Bicky scowled and Dee thought for a moment that the boy would ask Ryo to make the call. He looked from Ryo to Dee with definite resignation, but a hard edged, barely revealed fondness too. Bicky didn't want to lose Ryo and, maybe, he didn't want to lose Dee either. They were all three of them misfits, but they had forged a family of sorts.
"Okay!" Bicky exploded at last, "Boink each other, if ya want to, just keep it down at night so a growing boy can sleep, okay? And don't let Services know or they might yank me out of here anyway. Guys like that don't understand, ya know?"
"Understand?" Ryo echoed dazedly.
"That I might want to put up with two weirdoes like you and that, hey! I wanna stay, that's all I got ta say, okay?" Bicky fumed and went out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Ryo went over and locked it, but he stood, staring at the knob for the longest time.
"Uh, Ryo," Dee prompted. "Come over here, please?"
Ryo turned slowly and walked with head down to the bedside.
"You're gonna make me cry any minute if you keep this up, Baby," Dee said as he put his cigarette out in the ashtray beside the bed . "I want you to relax before we start in on this. Take off your shoes... and your tie and coat."
Ryo moved as if he were sleep walking. Dee was really getting worried now. He was the one with all the bruises and cracked bones, but it was Ryo who seemed to be going into shock.
"Now," Dee said, when Ryo had straightened again. "get into bed with me." Dee pulled back the cover and patted the space next to him on the wide bed. Ryo eyed it and didn't move. Dee couldn't help a flush of anger. "Not this again?! You are not going to get all frigid on me, Ryo. We are lovers. I've done the bedspring tango with you, not once, but twice. Now, get into bed!"
Ryo melted all at once. He collapsed rather than climbed into the bed and he almost made Dee howl in pain as he wrapped his arms around Dee's cracked ribs and buried his face in Dee's chest. He clung there, soft hair hiding his handsome face and luminous black eyes closed tightly. Dee gently pulled the blanket over them both and sank down to hold Ryo and comfort him.
"Everyone's always liked me," Ryo began softly. "Respected me, too. I want to be a man like everyone else. I don't want people looking at me and judging me because of... of us. The way they looked at me, the paramedic, the other officers, even that street boy.... It hurt. I felt dirty and perverted, just like Bicky said. That's why I couldn't stand it when he just said it a moment ago. It felt like I was being stabbed."
Dee groped for the right words. He had never been good at that. "Uh, well, Baby, I went through the same thing. It was hard for me when I joined the force, because I made sure everyone knew I was bi. I didn't want to hide it. I'm who I am and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it, right? Well, I can tell you that I was backed into a corner and pounded more than once by street thugs and my fellow officers because they DIDN'T like it." he paused and his eyes went dark with bad memories. "A few even thought that made me a slut or something and tried to force me, like your street punk did." He felt Ryo's flinch and he caressed Ryo's hair and face to calm him down. "I learned to fight and I used my fists a few times, but mostly I just did my job well and I made sure Dee Latener was a man other officers could trust. I earned my respect, Ryo, and most of them learned to get over my preferences."
Dee smoothed Ryo's hair back from his face and stared down at his lover. He looked so sweet, so troubled. It made Dee's heart ache for him. "I wanted to buy you a ring," Dee admitted. Ryo turned in the bed so that he was looking up at Dee in surprise. Dee laughed. "I wanted it to be like we were married, you know? I was going to engrave the rings and everything." His smile faltered. "But I couldn't. I remembered that we're detectives. Partners. We get into tough situations. Once in awhile, we have to be undercover. We can't have rings that tell people we're a couple, especially rings that said something sappy like, 'Dee and Ryo forever', or something like that. It would put us in danger."
"I don't need a ring," Ryo said softly. "I'm a guy, Dee."
"Yeah, I know. A guy who's trying to tell me that we don't have a relationship anymore, right?"
Ryo reached up and touched Dee's face. His dark eyes were wet. "When I thought that they had killed you, I nearly went mad, Dee. I imagined what it would be like without you... I decided in that ally, that I didn't want to live a life like that." Ryo closed his eyes again and pressed against Dee. "I guess that was as much a shock as anything else that happened last night, to realize that I love you that much, that I can't live without you. It was... is very frightening for me. When I found out that you were alive, I should have been happy, content, ready to get to the hospital and take care of you... Instead, I just filled out paperwork, gave reports, and sat in your car and didn't do anything. The Head had to order me to go to you! I know why I did that. I'm not proud of it. I hate myself for it."
"Why?" Dee whispered.
"I told the paramedic that you didn't have any family. I wanted him to know that I was your family. He wouldn't allow it, Dee. He wouldn't! Even when I came to see you, they wanted to turn me away because you weren't listed as out of intensive care yet and I wasn't a relative . I had to show them my badge to get in here. So, I've been called names, given dirty looks, and almost forced to- to do that with a street punk. I accepted it all, Dee, I did, but..."
"But what, Baby?"
Ryo sobbed, "I cried in your car because I was thinking, 'I can't live my whole life this way, being hated and discriminated against for loving you.' Maybe that's why I didn't go to the hospital, why I didn't turn that boy over to someone else right away. I had to deal with my feelings about this."
"But you came and got me," Dee replied, ready to have his heart broken. "You brought me to your apartment. You just told Bicky off and now you're in bed with me. I think I know what you finally decided, but I want to be sure. Tell me what you want, Ryo, and I'll do it. I'll do anything for you, even leave you."
Ryo said steadily, "I want to be what I am, just like you do. I don't want to be afraid of what people think or what they might say. I'm stronger than that and the truth of the matter comes down to this, Dee. I can't give you up. I won't. I love you. I want- I want you to move in with me. I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. If people don't like that... I think I CAN live with that as long as I have you to come home to at the end of the day."
Dee sighed in relief, his heart rebounding and feeling full to bursting with love. He ran his hand down Ryo's back and then began pulling on the man's shirt.
"What?" Ryo wondered, still wrapped up in his personal catharsis.
"What?" Dee echoed and grinned. "You said you want me. You want me forever."
"But Bicky's here and you're wounded!" Ryo protested beginning to pull away.
Dee nodded to both of those points but his hand was still tugging at Ryo's shirt, pulling it out of his lover's pants. "Bicky is here, but he's always going to be here, Ryo. You have to learn, starting now, not to be so shy. As for being wounded, well, it'll force me to go slow like I should. We're going to do it right this time. Go into the bathroom. I put a tube of lubricant in the medicine cabinet. I did the same at my apartment. I didn't want us to get into bed again without the right stuff."
Dee thought that Ryo was going to crawl under the blankets and hide in embarrassment, but he nodded stiffly and left the bed to go into the bathroom. Dee heard the medicine cabinet open and Ryo searching through it. While Ryo was doing that, Dee tried to get an assessment of his own situation. He wanted Ryo, but did he really have the strength? His head hurt. Every bone and muscle hurt. Below the waist... Dee smiled. Everything a-okay there and that's what mattered.
Ryo returned with downcast eyes and the tube of lube. He was naked now, body as beautiful as his face. He looked like a sculpture, Dee thought and felt his desire climb and swell as Ryo put the tube of lube into his hand and slipped back into bed. Ryo clasped Dee around the waist again and hid his face against Dee's chest.
"You can't start like that," Dee sighed and lifted Ryo's chin up. Ryo blinked at him timidly, but Dee didn't see any fear or reluctance. Ryo wanted him too, he was just too inhibited to do anything about it. Dee put the tube aside. First things first.
Dee ran his hands all over Ryo's body, stroking, kneading, and massaging the man until he shuddered in happy pleasure. "That's right, Baby," Dee breathed into Ryo's ear. "Just let old Dee show you how it's done." And, with that said, he took Ryo's hands and made the man do the same to him.
Ryo's hands were as timid as the rest of him, especially when Dee finally came to the root of his desire. Ryo's hands flinched, but Dee persisted and he made Ryo stroke him. When Dee became very hard, pre-cum drooling out, he braced his resolve for the next step.
"Ryo, uh, I know you had a very difficult night," Dee began, "And you don't have to if you don't want to, but, I'm kind of layed out, you know? I need you to, uh, get on top."
"On top?" Ryo looked terrified and ashamed. "Dee, you want me to-to do that to you?"
Dee frowned. "Uh, no, not that."
Relief. Dee stared at Ryo as it flooded his red tinged face. "You don't want to do that, do you, not to me?"
"No." Ryo looked everywhere, but at Dee, admitting something that stung at his manhood, but knowing he had to tell Dee about it. "I ... I've never really needed to do THAT much, Dee. I don't think I have much of a- a libido." He lifted his hands to his face,
completely embarrassed now. "I liked when you... I want you to be the one... always... okay? Make any sense?"
Dee puzzled over Ryo's broken sentences and then he smiled wickedly. "You want me to screw you silly all the time? You ARE a dream come true, Ryo!"
Ryo gasped, choked, and then suddenly laughed. He lowered his hands and his eyes sparkled down at Dee as he sat up. "You are such a- a pervert, Dee! Bicky was right!"
Dee reached up, more serious, and stroked the side of Ryo's face. "Good. I like to hear you laugh. Come on Baby, let's make love, okay?"
"Love," Ryo echoed and nodded.
Dee guided Ryo so that he was on his knees, straddling Dee's body. Dee slid up on his pillows, putting himself at the right height. He took hold of Ryo's straining erection.
"Get ready for some heaven, baby."
Dee swallowed Ryo's erection whole. Ryo twitched, gasped in complete pleasure, and then groaned deep in his throat as he grabbed the top of the headboard of the bed. When Dee began a smooth up and down motion on his swollen cock, swirling his tongue around the head and down deep into the slit, Ryo threw back his head and shuddered. When he came, Dee swallowed and pumped every last drop out of him, and Ryo bit his lip to keep from screaming his pleasure.
Dee removed his mouth and smiled up at Ryo. He kissed the tip of Ryo's cock lovingly and then guided Ryo back a bit.
"Okay, lover, my turn," Dee told Ryo cautiously, unsure of his reaction. "Up to it?"
Ryo was panting, still caught in waves of pleasure, but he nodded slowly and backed up some more until he was straddling Dee's lower legs. He looked down at Dee's boxers. There was a definite tent pole there. Dee wanted him to... just like that street punk. No! Ryo thought sharply to himself. This wasn't like that at all. That boy had wanted to use Ryo as a sick, convenient outlet. Dee loved him. They were making love.
Ryo bent over and pulled down Dee's boxers. The man was sensitive to Ryo's embarrassment. He leaned back into the pillows and closed his eyes, giving Ryo a little privacy for his first time. Ryo was grateful. It made it easier to face that swollen erection, to put aside all the conditioned responses a man was taught to have where other men were concerned, and to take hold of it and slide it into his mouth.
Dee groaned and smiled in pleasure. Ryo was emboldened by that. He tried to remember what Dee had done to him. He swirled his tongue over the soft, salty flesh, and then carefully let it slide deep into his throat. He started when Dee's big hands grabbed him and pulled him up. Ryo looked into Dee's eyes in confusion.
"Did I hurt you?" Ryo wondered anxiously.
"No, Baby, no!" Dee told him quickly and then smiled gently. "I just don't want come so quick. You were turning me on too much. I want to save it for the best part."
Ryo knew what that was and he tensed. "Okay. What should I do now?"
"You should not be afraid that it's going to hurt," Dee told him sternly. "Trust me this time, okay, Baby? We're going to do it right."
Ryo nodded nervously and then let Dee pull him forward until he was positioned over Dee's cock. Dee opened the lube and smeared a generous amount over his cock and hand. Ryo watched him in fascination, shivering despite himself, remembering the tearing, the burning, but also the deep pleasure and the feeling of being one with Dee.
"Relax, that's the key to this, Ryo," Dee explained. "You have muscles down there that I have to get my cock through. If you tighten them up, you'll tear again."
Ryo nodded again, licking lips in fearful anticipation, but trying to do what Dee was telling him. When Dee slid a finger into his anus, Ryo leaned forward over Dee, letting himself rest against his lover, giving himself to Dee completely.
Another finger joined the first after what seemed like forever. Dee worked them gently in and out of Ryo. It was a strange, scratching, pleasurable feeling. Ryo relaxed into the in and out motion, surprised that he was enjoying it, surprised that he wasn't thinking, like the first and second time Dee had done it, that it was somehow wrong or filthy. It seemed right now; making love, being loved, getting ready to take Dee inside of him and being one with his love.
Three fingers. Ryo stretched. The pleasure was growing. He nuzzled Dee's neck and pushed back onto those working fingers. That seemed to be the cue for Dee. Without saying anything, maybe thinking Ryo would tense again if they discussed it first, Dee pulled out his fingers and brought his swollen cock head to Ryo's entrance. it was longer than three fingers, Ryo thought, it was going to push and push until it was seven inches inside of him and then Dee was going too...
"Relax, baby," Dee crooned. "I'm not going to do anything. You have to be the one to push down, okay. That way, you can go as slow as you want. The first part will sting a little, but breathe deep and keep pushing. You'll soon get past that where it's wider inside of you. It won't hurt once you get there."
Ryo trusted Dee. He bit his bottom lip and began bringing his hips down.
"Slow," Dee whispered. "Very, very slow."
Ryo felt the sting. He winced and almost lost his courage. It seemed impossible that he could force Dee's cock past that stubborn ring of muscles, but Dee helped him, taking hold of Ryo's hips and moving him gently up and down in very tiny motions, rubbing that ring with his cock head, making it relax and become coated with pre-cum and lube. When Dee's cock slid past suddenly and lodged into Ryo deep, Ryo gasped in surprise. The pain had stopped, just as Dee had promised.
"Okay?" Dee breathed.
"Yes... oh, yes, Dee!" Ryo groaned as he felt that cock head rub against something tingly inside. His own cock slapped onto his belly, painfully aroused by that rubbing, responding more strongly than it ever had before. Ryo wantonly moved his hips now, grinding Dee's cock head against that magic place and groaning, embarrassment and inhibitions tossed aside in his need to agitate that spot anyway he could,
"Like that, Baby?" Dee grinned and began pumping up into Ryo, thumping that spot hard now. "Doesn't hurt?"
"No! No! Keep doing that, oh, please, keep doing that! A, kimochi i! Sugoi, sugoi, Dee! It's wonderful! I feel so good!"
Dee chuckled as he grabbed Ryo's cock and began stroking it in time to his thrusts. His gentle Ryo went wild, thrashing on top of him, bringing his hips up and down to meet Dee's rising and falling pelvis. Always the quiet ones, Dee thought in amusement, but then couldn't think at all as his cock swelled and reached a pinnacle. Ryo came all over Dee's hand and belly. The ring of muscle inside of Ryo constricted with the orgasm and Dee yelled in pleasure as he shot his load, hot and copious, up against Ryo's prostate. That made Ryo cry out hoarsely and he splattered Dee again with cum as his dark eyes rolled and his mouth hung open in an o of ecstasy.
Ryo collapsed on top of Dee, kissing him, nuzzling him, panting endearments into Dee's ear as Dee stayed inside of him and cradled his lover close.
"That was... amazing!" Ryo breathed at last. "I never knew... The first time, I'll never forget. It was beautiful, but it wasn't beautiful because of the sex. it was beautiful because we were finally together. The second was too rushed, too hard, too... well, it had to compete against the first time and nothing could be better than that so..."
"I understand," Dee said around a yawn. "I understand that you're a talker after sex. I can't rub two brain cells together, Ryo. I love you. You were fantastic! That's all I can manage. I'll have deep, profound sexual discussions after I wake up, okay, Baby?"
Ryo was smiling from ear to ear, as content as a cat with cream. "I thought, maybe we'd get into trouble living together. We're so different. I didn't want arguments or things to get ugly. I guess I was being a bit of a coward about that as much as about sex. We are different, but that's okay. I'll talk and you listen until you fall asleep. Compromise. Give and take. That's what it's all about isn't it, a relationship?"
"And love, silly Ryo," Dee said around another yawn. "Don't forget love. " Dee squeezed Ryo's butt with both, broad hands, "Now, give me back my cock and let me have a little shut eye, okay? I'll let you have it again later to play with, if you want."
"Promise?" Ryo begged, smiling like a happy child. He slid off of Dee and snuggled close under the blankets.
"Pervert," Dee chuckled.
"I suppose I am," Ryo laughed back and it didn't bother him at all.
****Owari****
Kracken's own Critique: Okay, the plot wandered, I lost track of the conflict, and then I tried to cover it up with steamy sex.
Excuse number one: The cat ate my notes?
Excuse number Two: I had a headache?
The Truth: Okay, I just wanted an excuse to have a steamy sex scene with Ryo and Dee, but that's okay isn't it? :)